Monkey's Paw

GeriatricTools

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
9
Points
3
Granted but you can never move again.

I wish I can regain my motivation for everything.
Granted, now you want to do everything equally as much, and you overexert yourself from worrying what will happen if you abandon one work over another, making you worse off than having no motivation at all.

I wish I can live out parts of my dreams in real life.
 

tiaf

ゞ(シㅇ3ㅇ)っ•♥•Speak fishy, read BL.•♥•
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
2,280
Points
153
Granted, now you want to do everything equally as much, and you overexert yourself from worrying what will happen if you abandon one work over another, making you worse off than having no motivation at all.

I wish I can live out parts of my dreams in real life.
Granted, you have a nightmare in which you die pitifully. Now you relive the memory in real life and die twice.

I wish I could finish those two covers for SSSC faster.
 

Alverost

Eternal Procrastinator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
1,071
Points
153
Granted, you have a nightmare in which you die pitifully. Now you relive the memory in real life and die twice.

I wish I could finish those two covers for SSSC faster.
Granted but they are soon deleted by a virus.

I wish for food.
 

tiaf

ゞ(シㅇ3ㅇ)っ•♥•Speak fishy, read BL.•♥•
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
2,280
Points
153
Granted, the food comes after you starve to death.

I wish I can draw covers better
Granted, but you have the same virus as me and your work was for naught.

I wish I wasn't so easily distracted.
 

GeriatricTools

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
9
Points
3
Granted, but you have the same virus as me and your work was for naught.

I wish I wasn't so easily distracted.
Granted, you are so absorbed in every piece of work that nothing can disturb you until it is completed to perfection. From fire alarms, to the library closing, to walking in front of traffic to even eating and reading fiction online. Or worse, you wanted to complete a novel once but it never ends, so you hole up in your room for eternity.

I wish I can spread the virus to the rest of the world so I can see everyone suffer as much as I do.
 

tiaf

ゞ(シㅇ3ㅇ)っ•♥•Speak fishy, read BL.•♥•
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
2,280
Points
153
Granted, you are so absorbed in every piece of work that nothing can disturb you until it is completed to perfection. From fire alarms, to the library closing, to walking in front of traffic to even eating and reading fiction online. Or worse, you wanted to complete a novel once but it never ends, so you hole up in your room for eternity.

I wish I can spread the virus to the rest of the world so I can see everyone suffer as much as I do.
Granted, you became the world's most wanted criminal.

I wish I had inspirational music.
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Virtuous Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
468
Points
133
Granted, you became the world's most wanted criminal.

I wish I had inspirational music.
Granted. The music is inspirational to everyone who is not a blob fish fujoshi.

I wish for potatoe salad flavoured shoes with a matching pickle flavoured hat.
 

binarysoap

Currently Lurking
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
488
Points
133
Granted. The music is inspirational to everyone who is not a blob fish fujoshi.

I wish for potatoe salad flavoured shoes with a matching pickle flavoured hat.
Granted, but that's because you stepped in potato salad, and spilled pickle juice onto your hat

I wish that my wish will be interpreted incorrectly.
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Virtuous Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
468
Points
133
Granted, but that's because you stepped in potato salad, and spilled pickle juice onto your hat

I wish that my wish will be interpreted incorrectly.
Granted. The wish-fulfiller was new at the job and misinterpreted your wish instead of interpreting it incorrectly. Though the meaning was the same the semantics were not identical. The slight dissonance in understanding caused your reality to desynchronize with the rest of this universe. When your existence fell out of phase with the universe you found yourself in the interstice between worlds unable to escape for all eternity until some other form of energy would become available to be transferred to you to change your wavefunction in state space.

I wish every time I flip a light-switch off I would usher in a NEW AGE OF DARKNESS.
 
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BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
Granted. The wish-fulfiller was new at the job and misinterpreted your wish instead of interpreting it incorrectly. Though the meaning was the same the semantics were not identical. The slight dissonance in understanding caused your reality to desynchronize with the rest of this universe. When your existence fell out of phase with the universe you found yourself in the interstice between worlds unable to escape for all eternity until some other form of energy would become available to be transferred to you to change your wavefunction in state space.

I wish every time I flip a light-switch off I would usher in a NEW AGE OF DARKNESS.
Granted, it's the culinary age of darkness; now strawberry pizza is invented alongside the pineapple bagel.

I wish there'd be another good Metal Gear Solid game. Fuck, I'd take another Metal Gear Rising, just not Survive.
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Virtuous Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
468
Points
133
Granted, it's the culinary age of darkness; now strawberry pizza is invented alongside the pineapple bagel.

I wish there'd be another good Metal Gear Solid game. Fuck, I'd take another Metal Gear Rising, just not Survive.
Granted. You are given another copy of Metal Gear Rising. The count of subjectively good metal gear games on earth has risen by 1.

I wish that my first descendant after 1000 years would revive me and we would conquer neo-earth together.
 

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
Granted. You are given another copy of Metal Gear Rising. The count of subjectively good metal gear games on earth has risen by 1.

I wish that my first descendant after 1000 years would revive me and we would conquer neo-earth together.
Granted, but neo-earth is empty save for you two and your descendant is horny.

I wish for a trike.
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Virtuous Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
468
Points
133
Granted, but neo-earth is empty save for you two and your descendant is horny.

I wish for a trike.
Granted, but your trike was a unicycle with 2 training wheels originally.

I wish that I was sealed away for 10000 years to protect the planet and that after that period of time a stupid protagonist would accidentally undo my seal and release my elegantly evil self upon the planet once more.
 

binarysoap

Currently Lurking
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
488
Points
133
Granted, but your trike was a unicycle with 2 training wheels originally.

I wish that I was sealed away for 10000 years to protect the planet and that after that period of time a stupid protagonist would accidentally undo my seal and release my elegantly evil self upon the planet once more.
Granted, but the stupid protagonist accidentally kills you off before you can do anything.

I wish I had the power.
 

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
Granted, but the stupid protagonist accidentally kills you off before you can do anything.

I wish I had the power.
Granted, instead of having power, you HAD it, and you lost it.

I wish for a bigger bottle of soy.
 

BlueDream

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
11
Points
3
Granted, instead of having power, you HAD it, and you lost it.

I wish for a bigger bottle of soy.
Granted, the bottle of soy is poisoned with cyanide.
I wish I can start writing a novel instead of being unsure of myself.
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Virtuous Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
468
Points
133
Granted, the novel sucks.

I wish to suck a novel.
Ummm. Granted. However, the novel you sucked was given a randomized flavour with no guarantee you would enjoy it. You sucked at your own risk.

I wish for terrible memes. Let's see what you've got internet.
 

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
Ummm. Granted. However, the novel you sucked was given a randomized flavour with no guarantee you would enjoy it. You sucked at your own risk.

I wish for terrible memes. Let's see what you've got internet.
Granted, but it's written in Chinese so good luck.

你妈鸡

I wish for a better view of the burning corpse.
 
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