Multiple Characters In Same Scenes

[Lorelliad]

My MC, who's the youngest sibling of his family, has four older siblings. And add the fact that he has around four subordinates, with two being around most of the time, its hard to have them all talking.

Conversations this way can get bland, if everyone just goes "yes" or "no." How do you guys make it so everyone can actually talk, when there's around 5 or 6 people at a time?

 

[MissPaige36]

My MC, who's the youngest sibling of his family, has four older siblings. And add the fact that he has around four subordinates, with two being around most of the time, its hard to have them all talking.

Conversations this way can get bland, if everyone just goes "yes" or "no." How do you guys make it so everyone can actually talk, when there's around 5 or 6 people at a time?

Best advice? Find a novel that has tackled this issue and see how they do it. Or maybe just look at class trials in danganropan or something. From what I’ve studied and also written myself, you can have a conversation flow well between many characters if their conversation is interesting enough.

Example: There has been a murder and they’re trying to figure out who the killer is. Obviously the most out spoken ones will be loud about their opinion, the quiet ones will maybe say a sentence or two and the smart ones will cleverly realize who’s lying or not. The attendence, consdering the fact that they are of lower status will definitely not speak up that much UNLESS your attendants are quite vocal in their opinion. Honestly with that, look up any novel that focus on attendants and see how much they’re allowed to talk/how open they can be. Good luck and just wrack up the best scenario you can think of!

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

I've been giving them actions inbetween talking. Like slamming a table to punctuate the shift of attention and speaker. Fidgeting and mumbling for others. Quirks in speech patterns would help but, that's beyond me since everyone is a pain. Then again, I've barely managed to get up to three people in a conversation/altercation for a scene.

Maybe have some people like the two that follow your MC around start a conversation with different ways of addressing others. One can start by saying "Sir" while the other can go the "Mister" route before speaking their minds.

 

[farmer]

What kind of setting are you talking about here? If it's a discussion where a group of people are trying to make a plan, it's not unnatural to have them talk in turns. If it's something like a party and everyone were making pockets of conversations, you can just narrate that there's some talking in the background while only showing the MC's conversation.
Unless your MC has supernatural thinking power, he's just going to keep track of one conversation and you could just follow along the MC's experiences and impressions.

 

[YS_og]

I mean, it's the MC. You can always make sure they're the main focus of the group by doing as MissPaige said. But my question is, are you having them all talk at once like having several smaller conversations amongst each other like what happens sometimes in real life? If so, you can always have the lesser OC's written to be engaged in other conversations in the background while you focus on the actual written dialogue only between the MC and the ones she is directly involved with. That way you can have more than just "one at a time"-only conversations, I guess.

Edit: Seconding farmer's post

 

[Lorelliad]

What kind of setting are you talking about here? If it's a discussion where a group of people are trying to make a plan, it's not unnatural to have them talk in turns. If it's something like a party and everyone were making pockets of conversations, you can just narrate that there's some talking in the background while only showing the MC's conversation.
Unless your MC has supernatural thinking power, he's just going to keep track of one conversation and you could just follow along the MC's experiences and impressions.

He's the brain of the group, and has somewhat supercomputer like thinking. He just turns that off most of the time

And as for what type of discussion? Usually planning stuff.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

My MC, who's the youngest sibling of his family, has four older siblings. And add the fact that he has around four subordinates, with two being around most of the time, its hard to have them all talking.

Conversations this way can get bland, if everyone just goes "yes" or "no." How do you guys make it so everyone can actually talk, when there's around 5 or 6 people at a time?

My MC, who's the youngest sibling of his family, has four older siblings. And add the fact that he has around four subordinates, with two being around most of the time, its hard to have them all talking.

Conversations this way can get bland, if everyone just goes "yes" or "no." How do you guys make it so everyone can actually talk, when there's around 5 or 6 people at a time?

Not everyone will have something to say. You have to treat the scene as if it was real. Know your characters. What would they say in reaction to the discussion? Would they say anything at all? Is there something that prevents them from talking, like not wanting to upset someone or start another discussion they find bothersome?

They would have opinions on it even if they didnt talk. Dont treat the discussion as if it didnt happen. You can always have these silent characters later comment on or think about the conversation after the fact.

Some characters also have stronger personalities, so yeah, they would be more likely to participate in the talk.

That's why I said to know your characters. You need to know what if anything they would say. Why they might NOT say anything.

Dont become trapped into thinking everyone needs to have a piece to say. If anything, just mention they arent commenting. This way people dont forget they are there. If they are in the scene, say so. Whether they talk or not, dont go too long without mentioning them.

 

[GioBlaze9239]

My MC, who's the youngest sibling of his family, has four older siblings. And add the fact that he has around four subordinates, with two being around most of the time, its hard to have them all talking.

Conversations this way can get bland, if everyone just goes "yes" or "no." How do you guys make it so everyone can actually talk, when there's around 5 or 6 people at a time?

Here is a conversation in something I've written.

"We're all here for you Asuhire! I don't know why you're worrying and brooding so much but just sit back, relax, and have some fun for today." Anoky whispered.
He shook his head. No, it's a trick. It's trying to trick me.
"You've been pushing your self for a couple of millennia to achieve what you did so you have definitely earned it!" Patting him on the back, Anoky turned towards everyone. "Right guys?"
A round went of cheers and agreement followed as everyone lifted their chalices in what he could only say was a clear attempt to cheer him up. Anoky placed another drink in front of him.
He hesitated but took a sip.
Mae Giggled. "Yeah, Asuhira. I still haven't given you your gift yet!"
"Ha! Close your legs woman, as if Asuhira would sleep with a loose woman like you!" Raekes scoffed.
Alish exploded with laughter. "You're just mad because she hasn't made a move on you!"
Raekes grey skin darkened. "For your imformation, I would have refused her anyway. I have no need for such passionless activities!"

While not having quite as many people and only a small part of the larger conversation, each person fits into the conversation. I find it easier to include more people when you either, add a form of conflict, or, keep most of the conversation simple but allow characters to react to each other. This can com in the form of a 'scoff' or something more dramatic like...

Slamming the table, Reakes started getting up, dragging the shadows that had hidden in corners out in to the open as the room fell silence and Naen Bristle next to him.
"Here we go again" Anoky muttered, already inching next to him to avoid the eternal lovers spat everyone had seen all too often.

While 'Raekes' reaction had nothing to do with 'Anoky' it still affected him. Things like that can bolster your characters' conversations.

Then again, you can also take this with a pinch of salt because I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Have an orgy. Whoever doesn't have a dick in their mouth gets to talk. Have them take turns sucking the dicks so they get to take turns talking.

 

[Lorelliad]

Have an orgy. Whoever doesn't have a dick in their mouth gets to talk. Have them take turns sucking the dicks so they get to take turns talking.

Is this like, your version of a parable, but horny?

 

[K5Rakitan]

Is this like, your version of a parable, but horny?

Yep

 

[Ai-chan]

My MC, who's the youngest sibling of his family, has four older siblings. And add the fact that he has around four subordinates, with two being around most of the time, its hard to have them all talking.

Conversations this way can get bland, if everyone just goes "yes" or "no." How do you guys make it so everyone can actually talk, when there's around 5 or 6 people at a time?

Hard to explain. Write a sample scene. Ai-chan will show you how it's done by modifying your scene.

 

[Lorelliad]

Hard to explain. Write a sample scene. Ai-chan will show you how it's done by modifying your scene.

I couldn't think of a situation, so I decided to send a part of one of my chapters.

Here's the picture. There's four people present, the MC, and three of his siblings.

They're trying to get through this thing called "Death's Corridor", which is a long hallway deep underground.

This patch of sentences only has one of the MC's elf sibling. Its the line towards the end.

Now, we had bid a temporary farewell to the dhampirs here, as we prepared to once again enter Death's Corridor.

"Here it is. The door seems to have held on, little bro." Lucas went over to the door blocking the hallway.

I still remembered this. We had closed it up due to the skeletons following us, but now it was time to open it up again.

With Lena and Aurelia on one side and Lucas on the other, my siblings pulled on the door with all their might.

It took a few seconds, but eventually the door began to open, until it revealed the bloody floors behind it.

Looking each other in the eyes, we all nodded, before heading inside that dark place.

"Ahhh... I remember this scent. Oddly enough, it's super nostalgic."

"But you still hate it, right?" Lena peeked over my shoulder, her hand on her nose.

"Of course. I hate it so much that I think I'd rather die. But it's still nostalgic. Anyway, now that we know that this is basically a straight line, anybody down for a race?"

"Coming from you, little bro? I'm down for it, but I think Lena might get defeated too easily." Lucas was also clearly bothered by the stench, but upon the mention of a race, his ears perked up.

"Oh, really now, Lucas? If I remember correctly, I was the one who won our last few races?"

"Those was the horse ones! Mesmer wasn't interested in racing, anyway. I know I can beat you if it's just by ourselves."

"Heh, I'll take you up on that. Sorry, little brother, but could you get on Aurelia? I want to have this race."

"No problem at all. In fact, since I was the one to suggest it, it's only right you guys get to go. We'll be following close behind."

"Indeed. You two can focus on getting to the end as fast as possible. I will be right behind with my lord."

I'd post the entirety of the chapter, but I didn't.

 

[ElliePorter]

Have an orgy. Whoever doesn't have a dick in their mouth gets to talk. Have them take turns sucking the dicks so they get to take turns talking.

I was expecting for a bizarre answer to show up.

 

[Ai-chan]

I couldn't think of a situation, so I decided to send a part of one of my chapters.

Here's the picture. There's four people present, the MC, and three of his siblings.

They're trying to get through this thing called "Death's Corridor", which is a long hallway deep underground.

This patch of sentences only has one of the MC's elf sibling. Its the line towards the end.

Now, we had bid a temporary farewell to the dhampirs here, as we prepared to once again enter Death's Corridor.

"Here it is. The door seems to have held on, little bro." Lucas went over to the door blocking the hallway.

I still remembered this. We had closed it up due to the skeletons following us, but now it was time to open it up again.

With Lena and Aurelia on one side and Lucas on the other, my siblings pulled on the door with all their might.

It took a few seconds, but eventually the door began to open, until it revealed the bloody floors behind it.

Looking each other in the eyes, we all nodded, before heading inside that dark place.

"Ahhh... I remember this scent. Oddly enough, it's super nostalgic."

"But you still hate it, right?" Lena peeked over my shoulder, her hand on her nose.

"Of course. I hate it so much that I think I'd rather die. But it's still nostalgic. Anyway, now that we know that this is basically a straight line, anybody down for a race?"

"Coming from you, little bro? I'm down for it, but I think Lena might get defeated too easily." Lucas was also clearly bothered by the stench, but upon the mention of a race, his ears perked up.

"Oh, really now, Lucas? If I remember correctly, I was the one who won our last few races?"

"Those was the horse ones! Mesmer wasn't interested in racing, anyway. I know I can beat you if it's just by ourselves."

"Heh, I'll take you up on that. Sorry, little brother, but could you get on Aurelia? I want to have this race."

"No problem at all. In fact, since I was the one to suggest it, it's only right you guys get to go. We'll be following close behind."

"Indeed. You two can focus on getting to the end as fast as possible. I will be right behind with my lord."

I'd post the entirety of the chapter, but I didn't.

Alright, here's the example. Ai-chan didn't change the last three lines because Ai-chan had no idea what was going on there. Please understand that this is merely an example of how to write based on your example. Ai-chan does not read your story, so Ai-chan's description likely does not fit your story. This is just an example.

******

"Here it is. The door seems to have held on, little bro." Lucas went over to the door blocking the hallway.

He touched the door with the palm of his left hand and shivered suddenly. It felt cold to the touch. Colder even than the air in the tunnel that chilled us to the bone.

I remember this door. We had closed it up to block the skeletons following us, but now it is time to open it up again.Shall I say that I have mixed feelings about it? What feelings would better describe this moment? Fear? Anxiety? Trepidation? Or loneliness?

With Lena and Aurelia on one side and Lucas on the other, my siblings pulled on the door with all their might.It took a few seconds, but eventually the door began to open, until it revealed the bloody floors behind it.And further beyond, piles of bones laid still like a trap waiting to sprung.

Looking each other in the eyes, we all nodded, before heading inside that dark place.This same dark place that we ran away from not too long ago. The same dark place that brought up a mass of memories that we would rather forget, yet we couldn’t. For those memories were what made us, us.

Without realizing it, I instinctively sniffed the cold winds of the chamber. "Ahhh... I remember this scent. Oddly enough, it's super nostalgic."

"But you still hate it, right?" Lena peeked over my shoulder, her hand on her nose. I could see she tried to avoid breathing in the scent.

Frowning, I looked down into the darkness beyond the stairs. "Of course. I hate it so much that I think I'd rather die. But it's still nostalgic. Anyway, now that we know that this is basically a straight line, anybody down for a race?"

"Coming from you, little bro? I'm down for it, but I think Lena might get defeated too easily." Lucas was also clearly bothered by the stench, but upon the mention of a race, his ears perked up.

Ah, dear Lucas. My brother from a different mother. My brother who doesn’t act like a brother. My brother who can’t bear the thought of losing. But he’s also a brother I can rely one. A brother who would do anything to keep his siblings safe. A brother, who swore to take care of us before our parents grave.

Recalling Lucas’s many contradictions made me chuckle. "Oh, really now, Lucas? If I remember correctly, I was the one who won our last few races?"

Lucas grinned wide, his fangs protruding as he wore his pride on his sleeves. "Those was the horse ones! Mesmer wasn't interested in racing, anyway. I know I can beat you if it's just by ourselves."

******

Your problem here are 2 things:
1. Your composition lacks description and feeling. It makes the scene bland and easily forgettable as your readers don't commit into imagining the scene. Basically, they're simply moving along until the next scene. Make every character distinct. Make every character feel human.
2. Your lines are mostly single lines and if you read from top to bottom, it feels like you're reading the same thing and you could easily get lost and forget what you read. You probably copied Japanese web novel system, but Japanese writing system is different. There are kanji, hiragana, katakana and furigana and the onomatopoeia that makes every line distinct. So it's much harder to get lost in a Japanese composition than English ones as Japanese writers would also include sounds into their composition. You could do this, but Ai-chan heard sounds like crash, boom, klak and all that are unfavourable in English compositions.