Okay, so after reading the two chapters there are a couple things I noticed. You might want to prepare yourself, cause I'm not going to beat around the bush and most of what I'm going to say will be negatives.
Your descriptions are rather good. There are times where you use kinda weird phrases, but it's not glaring and it will surely get better with experience and a bit of editing.
What I find baffling is that some sentences are missing full stops, but comas are almost perfect
Your grammar is indeed kinda a mess, but not in the problem lies not in the grammar itself, which is rather good, but in its use. I'll get to in a moment. Though just the fact you know it's a mess is already good.
There are two major things I want to note, and both are visible in this fragment:
Caesar fell to the ground after tripping over a large tree root and landing awkwardly on his back just as he was getting closer to the ambush location.
"Ughh!" Caesar is writhing in agony on the ground when, all of a sudden, a monster bursts out of the woods with its horn protruding, and prepares to use it to strike Caesar so hard that he will instantly die.
First thing, you wrote in past tense in one paragraph, then used present tense in the next. I'd heavily recommend keeping that consistent, because not sticking to one tense is often confusing and can deter many people.
Second, those two paragraphs feel... disconnected? The transition between them is almost nonexistent. If you highlight only actions and events, you have:
Caesar tripped, fell, and landed awkwardly -> He
was writhing in agony -> The monster
burst out of the woods
I might be paying a little too much attention to details here, but for me it feels like nothing happened that would make him writhe in agony. Some would say the devil's in the details though. It really helps if you reread everything you write and see if there's appropriate cause and reaction for everything. You could, for example, write that he tripped and slammed into the ground, which forced all air out of his lungs. Then he was wheezing and trying to get his bearings when the monster burst out from the woods.
The monster bursting out without any earlier indicator is good in this case, because it's supposed to be abrupt. You could have said that there were sounds coming from the forest, but it doesn't really matter in this case.
Basically, the way I see it, you're having a bit of trouble clearly and logically conveing what you are thinking about. There are times when some actions feel missing, or when there is nothing about character's emotions where there should be, plus some more things. That's a common thing for new authors, but also one of the things you should get better at as quickly as you can. And that is directly related to experience, so don't let my shit deter you.
Another major thing I wanna point out is that the character's words and sometimes dialogues don't match the situation well. Basically, if that monster is as fast as a running human, there's no damn way Caesar could talk in full coherent sentences while running for his life. The same applies to when the group arrived and was encircling the monster - exchanging five calm, not urgent sentences in that situation is... you know.
Then, in my opinion, you really shouldn't use words like "bang", "howl" or anything of the sort by themselves. You can do that in manga when the format shows what that sound is, but when writing it would mostly be much better if you actually described the sounds. Like "he heard a series of loud explosions", or "the monster let out a piercing howl". It's not like you can't do it the way you're doing, but that doesn't give a clear picture of what that sound is actually supposed to be and can be off-putting for some people (me included).
The one good thing that stood out to me and that I want to mention is your vocabulary, which is really good and, honestly, much better than I expected. I can't really point out more, but that's because I tend to focus much more on bad things.
Now I'll make myself clear, if you asked me to point out every single thing I would personally change, I'd write an essay here. If you want, I guess I could. But the point is for you to improve. If I were you, I would probably focus the most on improving grammar. So practice, read stories by well-known authors, and practice.
Overall you are already writing significantly better than many people that ask for feedback here. If you read through older posts on TheTriniary's or Sailus's threads, you will notice that at least two in three stories are KO'd instantly.
Sooo... Good luck, I guess? Hope my feedback helps, and don't let my shit deter you.
