My first attempt to approach writing, what you think

[Wedge]

Next Time in Another World

This is my first approach to writing in general. The story idea itself is quite ambitious, as I want to combine the years I spent watching anime into one title. While there are certainly similarities to other novels, my original (At least I haven't seen one anywhere) is to set the action in our world and slowly change it as the plot develops.

As you can read in the synopsis: Characters from various anime reincarnate in our world.

English is not my native language and I am still learning it so there may be some mistakes. Also pay attention to this please.

Read first and tell me what you think.

For those wanting to know more, info below. Though it is a big spoiler.

Spoiler: Spoiler

The idea itself came from the thought of taking the Marvel universe, but without the comic characters, replacing them with those from the anime and some invented by me. Don't want to spoil more so guess for yourself what such a world might look like, or keep reading :P

Though I don't know if I should spoil my own novel. Maybe I'll remove it. Whoever has read let me know if was worth it xD

 

[A2Remedy]

I'M SORRY! YOU HAVE ME HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER! Most definitely ambitious with a minor error here and there but GAH DAYUM!

 

[Wedge]

I'M SORRY! YOU HAVE ME HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER! Most definitely ambitious with a minor error here and there but GAH DAYUM!

Thanks. Should I pay attention to something specific when writing? Or is there something to change?

 

[georgelee5786]

(I'm marking quotes from your story in bold and only read chapter 1)

„There won't be a next time."

What is with the first quotation mark?

"Honey look it's our son, he's so beautiful!"

Should be a comma after honey. When using a noun of direct address(name, nickname, etc.) a comma always follows it. "George, look at this." or "Wedge, look at this."

A few noticeable punctuation errors that can be solved through using Grammarly or ProWritingAid. Bad punctuation might turn readers away, so you should be careful to correct any errors. When you changed POV, you also switched tense. Don't know if that was intentional or not. I, personally, am not a fan of Naruto, Bleach, or One Piece, so I don't recognize the characters or know their backgrounds, so I'm not tempted to continue the story. The first chapter was alright, but not enough to tempt me to read further. All of that was just my subjective opinion, though. If you want more in-depth feedback, I would recommend going to SailusGebel's feedback thread.

 

[Wedge]

Thanks. The first quote is the last words of one of the characters in his old world. I'm still learning English then I have problems with the style and punctuation here, hope it will improve with time. Well fanfic is rather directed to people who more or less know at least these 3 anime. I doubted it would interest anyone else anyway, so I didn't want to mess around with descriptions of what people already know anyway. As for POVs, I don't change them as often in later chapters.

 

[JenLeifire]

I think he meant the quotation mark at the bottom: „
Thats the style we have in austria too, so maybe you are somewhere in that region lol in english its only "blablabla" so prolly whateveer program you use wasn't changed to english.