Writing on phone. Overlook the mistakes ploose
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So, well, after all was set and done I died. Hmmm, I always said that a little death won't kill me but I guess I overestimated myself a little? Anyway, I died.
Naturally, as you would expect from death, quite the lady, I must say, I appeared in a white room.
No, a room is a bit too much to call it. I mean, any honorable room with even a tiny speck of self-respect would have such basic things as walls... Or ceiling... Or working laws of physics...
So, I, as a sensible and respectable individual, will not stoop so low as to call that... Place... A room. Hmph. How arrogant. To call itself a room. Where is the world going these days...
Oh, there was also a very small and insignificant, absolutely unimportant, so unimportant, in fact, that I feel shame just thinking about how I, a sensible and respectable individual, am wasting your honorable time with pointing your attention to that thing.
Who are you, by the way? I have been describing the happenings I have recently experienced to someone. Naturally, a sensible and respectable individual such as I cannot just talk to space, or nothing, or myself. That leads this sensible and respectable individual to the conclusion that this sensible and respectable individual has been conversing with someone.
It's logic. As obvious and irrefutable as laws of physics, or human stupidity. Yap, this individual is not only sensible and respectable but also logical to a T. Sometimes it troubles me how competent I am... How sinful of me...
Anyway, though I apologise for wasting your time like this... No, I beg you to listen, after all, we have just established the fact that I am an incredibly logical individual so I naturally won't waste your time for something so useless. Wait, not wasting in vain is an Oxymoron. Or was it Mammon? No, yes, no, yes, no... I think that his esteemed personage Oxymoron is the devil of Greed, so I guess the word Mammon is more appropriate after all?
So, wasting something not in vain is a Mammon!
Anyway, that thing was a lithe beautiful woman. I know what beauty is as I see it every time I lay my eyes on a mirror, so trust me, she was beautiful.
Especially her wig. She must've been balding as she wore a wig of silver. After all, silver is not a natural hair color.
So, because she was balding, she must've learned the importance of taking care of one's hair, even if its a wig... I mean it was polished so well it practically sparkled, creating a bright halo around her head...
Anyway, as a sensible and respectable individual I didn't coment on her hair loss.
So, that beautiful, albeit, bald, woman said some unimportant things. I honestly didn't listen but there were words such as 'hero', 'demon', 'salvation' a and such, but I didn't remember.
But! Butbutbut! As a sensible and respectable individual, I obviously didn't show it in my expression and just nodded silently.
Anyway, after this small, unimportant, insignificant, so pathetically unremarkable that it's very existence makes one wonder about the meaning of a person's life, event had taken place, I was sent to a, this time, proper room with walls, a ceiling and working laws of physics.
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"The experiment has succeed, my liege! With a hero present, the demon menace shall pose no problem to the human race any longer!"
"Umu, very well. This king wishes to meet the hero"
"As you will, your highness!"
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Eh? What is wrong? All of these people are shouting and yelling and trying to attack me. Why? A sensible and respectable individual such as I can obviously, as obvious as the Sun's light and meaninglessness of our life, deduce that these people are displeased do far. Why?
Let's recount the events: I appeared in a room. After an hour or so of pretending to listen to the people other than I that were present there I was guided to another room. There, I saw a lot of other people and the most peculiar, or should I say, pitiable, one was sitting on a throne-like structure. As I found him pitiable, I decided to revise what he had said to me.
After all, it's important to lend an ear to the pitiable, very important. As a sensible and respectable individual, I could do that much.
As I hadn't listened carefully I only understood that he wanted my help with something and told md to come and receive a... What was that? Molly? Gholly? Folly? Smelly? Loli? Well, some kind of sword.
But! Butbutbut! As not only sensible, respectable, beautiful, competent, overall the best in the world, but also logical to a T individual I analysed the current at that time situation.
1) I need a sword to help him
2) I need to come up to him to be of help
As I didn't have sufficient information I used my absolutely amazing analytical abilities honed by my logical to a T nature.
1) I need to help him
2) he's old and looks tired
3) he's wearing a peculiar ornament on his head.
4) it looks heavy
5) there's nobody close to him
6) even though it's heavy, he's still wearing it
Conclusion: he is alienated and is punished for some reason by forcing him to wear the heavy ornament and making him go up the many stairs to the throne-like seat. I need to help him.
Solution: as it would be imprudent of me to suddenly break the custom and take off the ornament on his head, I shall do the next best thing and relieve him of his head.
...
And now we're here. Honestly, I don't understand why they're angry? Is it not common sense to help the pitiful? Is it not the right thing to do? It's naturally wrong to to pick on the weak and the bonds of empathy and morality are the only thing separating humans from animals. So, what I did was right, as everything else I have done in my, er, lives.
Unfortunately, persuasion didn't work.
How sad. Its incredibly sad to see how most of the times rationality doesn't work and people just continue to push towards their own ideas of rightness and agendas.
It's pitiful how fast any conflict devolves to violence. O, humans, you have my deepest sympathy...
I couldn't do anything else but to put them to eternal rest.
O, Father that resides in heavens, please accept these poor lambs. I hope you will bring them salvation where I couldn't.
Amen.
Now, what should I do again?
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Such was the beginning of the Great Demon King...