Only Slightly Insane

HURGMCGURG

That Guy
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
364
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133
Crazy characters are always a bit of fun to work with. Write me a short story with one!
 
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ArcadiaBlade

I'm a Lazy Writer, So What?
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
880
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133
Hello, my name is Arcadia Blade

I'm just you average person who lives on a poor countryside.

My skills are stealth, assassination, information gathering and torture. Wait, please let me reintroduce myself

................................

...................

Hi, i'm Arcadia Blade

An average person who lives on a countryside.

I have 3 sadistic siblings, a strict and a gambling father and my mother who died on my birthday.

Wait, wait. Please let me reintroduce myself once more.

..........................................

..............

..

I'm arcy and not an insane person.

I usually spend my time peeking people, write new ways to torture my siblings and having a fetish of *Censored* some *Censored* while *OMG* as she gets *Okay its that disgusting*.

Nononono. Please let me try this one more time and we can end this.


.............uh........without the *Censored*?

Wait, isn't it mild than my neighbor who is used to *Beep*?

Wait! Alright! I'll stop with the disgusting things and let me reintroduce myself.

..........................................

................................


..........

Watsup guys! Its me AB and let me tell you how to trap men in video games.

Step 1.....huh?!

Wait, ah....sorry, sorry. I was kinda into making a video on youtube but.....i was banned after showing some dead reporters getting tortured.

Hey! Please stop struggling! I was just kidding....

But the stab wound on your leg was kinda your fault anyway.

I didn't expect you to follow me into some alleyway in the night like some kind of rapist or something.

Oh, shh...shh...

Its okay to cry. I kinda got used to that as well after my brothers had abandoned me in the forest on my birthday.

Wait, i think the cops are probably gonna look for you soon so i'll wrap this up.

Shhh....shhh...goodnight and try to sleep well...

--------------------------

News reporting on a old, abandoned lumber house of a man who was found dead after being tortured for like 2 hours before having his neck slit. He was an ordinary reporter who was also one of the victims of the serial killer known as 'Arcadia Blade'.

A recording would always be found near the victim's body and would always replay a role of a person trying to introduce himself.

He would always start introducing normally before he slowly introduce in a grim manner before becoming insane and tell how he would do this and that.

He would try to use other personas as a person named 'Psyku', a young girl or an african-american man and would make a skit which sounded normally before making the skit even more creepy.

The Police have been tracking this Serial killer for many years now yet still didn't managed to even find a clue on his wereabouts but only find a recording next to his victim's body.

Please tuned in for more and report to the proper authorities if you manage to find clues or know of this mysterious serial killer.
 

HURGMCGURG

That Guy
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
364
Points
133
I took a puff of my cigar as I put my legs up on my foot rest. I gazed out upon the city. This was it. This was the moment.
Ah, yes. Everything is perfect.
"Now, it is time, gentlemen." I said, with a grin forming across my mouth. "Time for us to accomplish everything we ever dreamed."
"Sir," One of the interns interjected. "Isn't this your dream, not ours?"
"Semantics." I said back, internally marking him down as someone to be getting his hard earned resignation tomorrow. "I can't imagine anyone else not dreaming of something similar."
Through the glass in front of us, across the cityscape of New York, I could see it. The symbol of the city, of the progress of man in the nineteen thirties, of the desire to one up every other country and make the new tallest building in the world.
The Empire State Building.
"Are we ready for launch?" I asked, knowing we were prepared over half an hour ago.
"Yes sir, we are ready for launch." Another man from the room stated in a timely manner.
"Prepare for launch." I said.
"Time is x minus ten, nine..." He began the countdown and I watched with bated breath as the building before me began to tremble.
Yes...
YES!
"... two, one, and we have lift off." He finished as the Empire State Building began to slowly rise off the ground, fire and light emerging from beneath it.
 
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Llamadragon

Active member
Joined
Jan 19, 2019
Messages
171
Points
43
Nine women in chainmail bikinis furiously braved the bitter cold of the Canadianian winter. Or, rather, eight of them braved the cold - the ninth looked quite comfortable, actually, as if she was taking a pleasant stroll on a sunny beach somewhere. The eight were young, some in their teens, some in their lower twenties. The ninth was their grand-teacher, the legendary Bertha the Badass Burninator of Bloodshed, who was approaching the very respectable age of ninety-two this summer.

They were all members of the proud Order of the Chainmail Bikini, and this was Bertha taking the newbies out for a field exercise. They had to be started young if they were to gain any efficient resistance to chain-mail-patterned frostbites.
 
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Assurbanipal_II

Empress of the Four Corners of the World
Joined
Jul 27, 2019
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My try, a little imaginary dialog

"Insanity? Insanity? You cannot grasp in your wildest dreams he very concept of what is insanity. You dare to call me insane in your arrogance that you believe wisdom in your misguided ignorance. You claim to see the truth and call me insane with such certainty. But in reality, you know nothing, you are nothing, and you shall not judge me.

For you insanity is just an empty word without meaning, a word you apply to me not because of understanding, but because of a lack of understanding. You call me insane to mask the boundaries of your limited knowledge, to hide that you have failed to see what lies beyond the mere mundane appearance of the world. Because I have seen the truth and I have recognized after all these years that insanity is our freedom, true freedom that liberates us from the ancient shackles that were bestowed on us humans. So, the better question is, how can a sane person still exist in this cursed world?"
 

Khiricastares

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2019
Messages
50
Points
58
Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You remind me of my mother."
"I'm not your mother."
"No. You're not. But you could be mistaken for her."
"By who?"
"Does it matter who?"
"Yes."
"To you?"
"To me?"
"Does it matter to you."
"Does what matter to me?"
"Knowing who could mistake you for my mother."
"Yes."
"Anyone could."
"Anyone?"
"Anyone who knew my mother."
"How many people knew your mother?"
"Just me."
"Then only you could mistake me for your mother."
"In a sense. Does it really make a difference who?"
"Yes. Different people make different mistakes for different reasons."
"Then what kind of mistake do you see in me?"
"You're lonely. You want someone to fill the role of your mother. Anyone will do."
"Wrong."
"What's wrong?"
"You're wrong."
"Maybe. But that doesn't mean you're right."
"Maybe. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong."
"Ok. Why am I wrong?"
"Because I can no longer mistake you for my mother."
"You don't like making mistakes?"
"You know I don't, mother."
"Oh god..."
"What's wrong?"
"You're delusional."
"And you're in denial."
"I am not."
"I'd rather be delusional than in denial."
"And I'd rather be drunk than either of them."
"Can you teach me how to drink?"
"No, you have to teach yourself."
"Then can I drink with you?"
"Sure, knock yourself out."
"After you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mothers are all slightly insane.
 
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
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Hello, how are you. Fine thank you.

Oh mai gah.

My name is David David David David David.

My uncle called me Dave.

While my mother called me David.

My father David David.

and my sister D.

You can call me anything you like, but never call me, Eddie-baby.

Or I will go to your house, and kiss you.
 

TotallyHuman

It's good to be home.
Joined
Feb 13, 2019
Messages
3,996
Points
183
Writing on phone. Overlook the mistakes ploose
---
So, well, after all was set and done I died. Hmmm, I always said that a little death won't kill me but I guess I overestimated myself a little? Anyway, I died.
Naturally, as you would expect from death, quite the lady, I must say, I appeared in a white room.
No, a room is a bit too much to call it. I mean, any honorable room with even a tiny speck of self-respect would have such basic things as walls... Or ceiling... Or working laws of physics...
So, I, as a sensible and respectable individual, will not stoop so low as to call that... Place... A room. Hmph. How arrogant. To call itself a room. Where is the world going these days...
Oh, there was also a very small and insignificant, absolutely unimportant, so unimportant, in fact, that I feel shame just thinking about how I, a sensible and respectable individual, am wasting your honorable time with pointing your attention to that thing.
Who are you, by the way? I have been describing the happenings I have recently experienced to someone. Naturally, a sensible and respectable individual such as I cannot just talk to space, or nothing, or myself. That leads this sensible and respectable individual to the conclusion that this sensible and respectable individual has been conversing with someone.
It's logic. As obvious and irrefutable as laws of physics, or human stupidity. Yap, this individual is not only sensible and respectable but also logical to a T. Sometimes it troubles me how competent I am... How sinful of me...
Anyway, though I apologise for wasting your time like this... No, I beg you to listen, after all, we have just established the fact that I am an incredibly logical individual so I naturally won't waste your time for something so useless. Wait, not wasting in vain is an Oxymoron. Or was it Mammon? No, yes, no, yes, no... I think that his esteemed personage Oxymoron is the devil of Greed, so I guess the word Mammon is more appropriate after all?
So, wasting something not in vain is a Mammon!
Anyway, that thing was a lithe beautiful woman. I know what beauty is as I see it every time I lay my eyes on a mirror, so trust me, she was beautiful.
Especially her wig. She must've been balding as she wore a wig of silver. After all, silver is not a natural hair color.
So, because she was balding, she must've learned the importance of taking care of one's hair, even if its a wig... I mean it was polished so well it practically sparkled, creating a bright halo around her head...
Anyway, as a sensible and respectable individual I didn't coment on her hair loss.
So, that beautiful, albeit, bald, woman said some unimportant things. I honestly didn't listen but there were words such as 'hero', 'demon', 'salvation' a and such, but I didn't remember.
But! Butbutbut! As a sensible and respectable individual, I obviously didn't show it in my expression and just nodded silently.
Anyway, after this small, unimportant, insignificant, so pathetically unremarkable that it's very existence makes one wonder about the meaning of a person's life, event had taken place, I was sent to a, this time, proper room with walls, a ceiling and working laws of physics.
---
"The experiment has succeed, my liege! With a hero present, the demon menace shall pose no problem to the human race any longer!"
"Umu, very well. This king wishes to meet the hero"
"As you will, your highness!"
---
Eh? What is wrong? All of these people are shouting and yelling and trying to attack me. Why? A sensible and respectable individual such as I can obviously, as obvious as the Sun's light and meaninglessness of our life, deduce that these people are displeased do far. Why?
Let's recount the events: I appeared in a room. After an hour or so of pretending to listen to the people other than I that were present there I was guided to another room. There, I saw a lot of other people and the most peculiar, or should I say, pitiable, one was sitting on a throne-like structure. As I found him pitiable, I decided to revise what he had said to me.
After all, it's important to lend an ear to the pitiable, very important. As a sensible and respectable individual, I could do that much.
As I hadn't listened carefully I only understood that he wanted my help with something and told md to come and receive a... What was that? Molly? Gholly? Folly? Smelly? Loli? Well, some kind of sword.
But! Butbutbut! As not only sensible, respectable, beautiful, competent, overall the best in the world, but also logical to a T individual I analysed the current at that time situation.
1) I need a sword to help him
2) I need to come up to him to be of help
As I didn't have sufficient information I used my absolutely amazing analytical abilities honed by my logical to a T nature.
1) I need to help him
2) he's old and looks tired
3) he's wearing a peculiar ornament on his head.
4) it looks heavy
5) there's nobody close to him
6) even though it's heavy, he's still wearing it
Conclusion: he is alienated and is punished for some reason by forcing him to wear the heavy ornament and making him go up the many stairs to the throne-like seat. I need to help him.
Solution: as it would be imprudent of me to suddenly break the custom and take off the ornament on his head, I shall do the next best thing and relieve him of his head.
...
And now we're here. Honestly, I don't understand why they're angry? Is it not common sense to help the pitiful? Is it not the right thing to do? It's naturally wrong to to pick on the weak and the bonds of empathy and morality are the only thing separating humans from animals. So, what I did was right, as everything else I have done in my, er, lives.
Unfortunately, persuasion didn't work.
How sad. Its incredibly sad to see how most of the times rationality doesn't work and people just continue to push towards their own ideas of rightness and agendas.
It's pitiful how fast any conflict devolves to violence. O, humans, you have my deepest sympathy...
I couldn't do anything else but to put them to eternal rest.
O, Father that resides in heavens, please accept these poor lambs. I hope you will bring them salvation where I couldn't.
Amen.
Now, what should I do again?
---
Such was the beginning of the Great Demon King...
 
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