D
Deleted member 42060
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I'm someone who can be overly committed to writing a single novel, edit it over and over and over again till it's perfected.
There's this novel I've tucked away for so long, the first novel I've uploaded in Webnovel, got like 35,000 views because of its clickbaity title and cover. Zero rates. Zero reviews. Just imagine them reading the first chapter then dropping it abruptly.
Then I deleted it.
I wrote novel after novel and couldn't finish anything. The only thing beneficial to me was that my writing skills had improved a bit.
After doing like ten unfinished novels, I came up with a funny thought.
Why not go back to your first novel and finish it?
I convinced myself: Let your first novel be your worst one.
I told myself that it was okay to publish it even if it's bad. I just needed the "shamelessness" to do it.
So I rewrote my first novel. Six chapters.
Then discontinued it again.
Sigh.
Okay, Quaoar, why not use the old version of the story and just polish some things?
Right now, I've been doing just that. I brutally killed my darlings.
Some authors successfully delete their first novel and just move on to write a banger of a novel.
I have two reasons why I couldn't delete it:
It's like I'm forced to finish it.
There's no passion left for me to continue this book.
I'm just objectively writing it—without heart.
Even worse, I can't change the characters since they're already drawn.
It's like my novel is whispering to me:
"You can't escape from me. You may have new ideas and write them down passionately, but I'll always be here, staring at you. Come on. Finish me already. What, scared of publishing me because I'm too terrible? You'll be stuck in this loophole forever."
The thing is I've already finished it.
I'm just not too sure whether or not I should publish it.
But I should publish it because I want to be done with it already and have peace of mind. I'm stuck with the mindset of "If I finish this, then I can finally write another one."
I realized, even if it's "perfected," there will still be people who won't like it anyway.
There's this novel I've tucked away for so long, the first novel I've uploaded in Webnovel, got like 35,000 views because of its clickbaity title and cover. Zero rates. Zero reviews. Just imagine them reading the first chapter then dropping it abruptly.
Then I deleted it.
I wrote novel after novel and couldn't finish anything. The only thing beneficial to me was that my writing skills had improved a bit.
After doing like ten unfinished novels, I came up with a funny thought.
Why not go back to your first novel and finish it?
I convinced myself: Let your first novel be your worst one.
I told myself that it was okay to publish it even if it's bad. I just needed the "shamelessness" to do it.
So I rewrote my first novel. Six chapters.
Then discontinued it again.
Sigh.
Okay, Quaoar, why not use the old version of the story and just polish some things?
Right now, I've been doing just that. I brutally killed my darlings.
Some authors successfully delete their first novel and just move on to write a banger of a novel.
I have two reasons why I couldn't delete it:
- I asked my friend to illustrate the cover for my first novel.
- I fear that if I delete this, it will be also the same for the next one.
It's like I'm forced to finish it.
There's no passion left for me to continue this book.
I'm just objectively writing it—without heart.
Even worse, I can't change the characters since they're already drawn.
It's like my novel is whispering to me:
"You can't escape from me. You may have new ideas and write them down passionately, but I'll always be here, staring at you. Come on. Finish me already. What, scared of publishing me because I'm too terrible? You'll be stuck in this loophole forever."
The thing is I've already finished it.
I'm just not too sure whether or not I should publish it.
But I should publish it because I want to be done with it already and have peace of mind. I'm stuck with the mindset of "If I finish this, then I can finally write another one."
I realized, even if it's "perfected," there will still be people who won't like it anyway.