Personal writting problem

TotallyHuman

It's good to be home.
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Is there a way to write a romance without being effected by, *ehem*, lust?
I do want an affection, a true love... Not a horny feeling that keep polute my healthy mind and keep me day dreaming everytime in a while.

Just in case,
I am not watching a H and something simmilar in time being Even I fully aware about how many they are in this site.
Think bromance.
You can also watch happy sugar life - a cute anime of the cgct genre, the love between Satou and Shio is lustless.
There are novels with this kind of love

Another way to do it is to make your characters very old - or at least very mature - mentally. So that they want more out of a relationship than sex
 
D

Deleted member 57675

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Is there a way to write a romance without being effected by, *ehem*, lust?
I do want an affection, a true love... Not a horny feeling that keep polute my healthy mind and keep me day dreaming everytime in a while.

Just in case,
I am not watching a H and something simmilar in time being Even I fully aware about how many they are in this site.
What are the characters' personalities? Is there something in their personality that draws the other character in together?

What is the conflict/event that brings them together? Could be slice of life thing, could be relatable hardship end of world thing.

What changes or situations did they overcome together? Did it make them closer or made them farther distant from each other?

Think like a team. You may click or not click at first. Some teams didn't get to choose, some teams people chose. Some do not work out, some do. But if you want to make it work, you have got to find a way to bind them together. What made them decide to stick together?

Is it because they have something in common no one else would understand the situation both have gone through?
Is it because both help each other so much? Develop trust and bond over time?
Is it because they admire each other's abilities or personality traits they couldn't find in others surrounding them?

Lust may be the initial attraction. Teamwork, trust and care is what takes to keep relationship going.
 
Joined
Apr 9, 2022
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Is there a way to write a romance without being effected by, *ehem*, lust?
I do want an affection, a true love... Not a horny feeling that keep polute my healthy mind and keep me day dreaming everytime in a while.

Just in case,
I am not watching a H and something simmilar in time being Even I fully aware about how many they are in this site.
You mean something like this?
 

patbateman123x

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Don't write the sex scenes and focus on what actions they do for each other. Do they save each other, do they talk to each other? Do they like each other? Conversation is an important part of romance a lot of author's skim over.

Inc#t is not a virus. It is a culture.
i think implied sex scenes work way better than filling every hole every other chapter and cute gestures go a long way
 

patbateman123x

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Well, what I'm writing on SH has way more yuri/futa scenes right now. I'll probably add more variety later on though.
*mad lad intensifies* . The mc i am writing is no pussboi when it comes to sex but when i think about writing a sex scene i am like "nah fam u ain't cut out to write this " .
 

Anon2024

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*mad lad intensifies* . The mc i am writing is no pussboi when it comes to sex but when i think about writing a sex scene i am like "nah fam u ain't cut out to write this " .
I have two MC's. One male and one female. The female can put on an artificial suit that gives her the properties of a futa. The female is an alpha, but the male is a sigma (though one of my commenters think he's a beta because he's not pursuing sex like the female is). I don't know man... I find it funny how people interpret my writing, but what I'm posting on SH isn't meant to be serious. Like I said in an earlier post I'm using it as an outlet while I focus on my actual story. I only edit/revise it once on here after the first draft so there are errors.

Anyway, sex scenes require shamelessness to write. Developing that sense of shamelessness actually took me a few years.
 

patbateman123x

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I have two MC's. One male and one female. The female can put on an artificial suit that gives her the properties of a futa. The female is an alpha, but the male is a sigma (though one of my commenters think he's a beta because he's not pursuing sex like the female is). I don't know man... I find it funny how people interpret my writing, but what I'm posting on SH isn't meant to be serious. Like I said in an earlier post I'm using it as an outlet while I focus on my actual story. I only edit/revise it once on here after the first draft so there are errors.

Anyway, sex scenes require shamelessness to write. Developing that sense of shamelessness actually took me a few years.
i'd call you "larger" than life
 

patbateman123x

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I still think if you want to be a better writer you should also write scenes you don't like, and scenes you're uncomfortable writing. Larger than life? Probably not.
you are totally right .For a writer , stepping out of one's comfort zone can really bring about great ideas .
 

NitroxDarks

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Well, the problem is they are connected.

If we're going from a biological standpoint, your average male isn't interested sexually until puberty, then biologically, until age 25, he wants to have sex. Then the hormones ebb. IF the male has been engaging in a lot of sex or masturbation, he might develop a psychological addiction to the idea of sex. Most men who are horny over the age of 30 are that way because... they think they SHOULD be horny.

Trust me. If men weren't horny, there's a good chance society would collapse. If I didn't have that urge as a kid, I don't know if I would have EVER put up with the shit that women do. There is almost no PROFIT for a male to have a relationship with a female, unless you want children. That's it. There is no economic reason, and in America, there is not LEGAL reason. Getting married really sucks for men under the law. It's a horrible deal.

Also, males are more likely to become 'possessively' in love. What I mean is, a male tends to fall in love then focus on that female. When they break up, it usually hurts the male emotionally far more than females. No. Seriously. There have been studies. Women 'get over it' far faster then men.

Women are the ones who gatekeep access to sex, but men are the ones who gatekeep access to relationships. The male wants access to those eggs. The woman wants access to a man who would be a good mate.

Now we come to: LOVE IS JUST CHEMICALS IN YER BRAIN.

Bull.

All you are talking about is the operating system. If you felt the same way, but were a computer, would love 'JUST BE ELECTRONS'? Just because we understand how the process works on a mechanical level, doesn't mean it isn't real.

So, you can try to separate the two, but they don't exist without each other.

When an argument or debate is to be started by 'ifs' mostly, I think that's a great point to stop yourself from writing or talking about it.

Light and shadow are two that are obviously different, but they don't repel each other like oil and water, I won't use 'ifs' nor 'scientifically' this or that.

I'll only say that romance does not need lust to become, nor lust needs to have romance to become as well. But romance can easily take in lust while lust can provoke romance.

That doesn't mean they are the same nor that they should always be together; our need for mental comfort and emotional support are characteristic on humans more than any animal because of our self-torturous awareness rather than our conditions in life. That's why there's just so many horny sluts and bastards out there, that doesn't mean is only that way. Now, I can tell you're just projecting as you derive from 'responding' to my comment towards your own thoughts alone and nothing else, hence, I don't nor allow myself to read your 'response' seriously.

People can choose to behave however they want, but because they act erratically and messily on normal person's point of view, doesn't mean that their actions alone change the world.

Acting like that is already below a human's standards for civilized and intelligent being as one can be, besides childish is also harmful to other human beings of society, and only cave people would be okay with it.

I read chinese smut novels and japanese hentai novels. Chinese smut novels, besides the cervix being pried open, are pretty much varying between a mary sue and an understanding point of view to fuck a lot while the japanese novels are straight up to irk at fetishes and turn you on. In Japan, there is the known factor of most couples cheat on each other, guess what, japanese works are also the kind that are the most perverse and lascivious out there (I think it may be more than just Japan as many asian countries were being mentioned). And they know it, and they understand it and they allow it, no reason, it just so happens.
 

OokamiKasumi

Author of Quality Smut
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Is there a way to write a romance without being effected by, *ehem*, lust?
You can try by focusing on Love rather than Romance.

Love and Romance are NOT the same thing.
  • Romance – an emotional manipulation technique designed to make someone receptive to Sex.
    • The motive behind Romance is LUST.
  • Love – when someone’s happiness means more than your own.
    • The motive behind Love is AFFECTION.
To many people, Romance means ‘showing love’. That’s not true. You show love by Protecting the ones you care for with the intent to ensure their lasting happiness.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re nice to them.

Someone yelling at their friend for gambling their rent away shows far more love than someone trying to entice their object of affection away from their friends for an intimate dinner -- in the hopes that they might get lucky.


1651808762796.png

-----Original Message-----
"Wow, I always thought Romance was about Love...?"
-- Prefers Romance


EVERYONE thinks Romance is about love -- because we really, really WANT it to be.

Romance tells us that the Other Person gives up everything for Us, when in fact, the opposite is true. Real Love makes us give up everything for THEM.

Love gives pleasure -- to make their loved one happy.
Lust takes it -- to make themselves happy.​

When you think about it, real Love is a very scary emotion.

Love makes us give up everything we want, everything we are -- for someone else. If they are not worthy of such a sacrifice, it doesn't matter because we LOVE them and want them to be happy at any cost.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more detail on this, go to:
Writing the LOVE scene verses the Sex scene.

For how to write Romance scenes, go to:
Making ROMANCE ~ From Trust to Intimacy

☕
 

MisterSyafiq

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Heya, sorry I was lately still in "bed rest".
It was a good thing that I got an accident a day or so after making this post.
My head back and front was hit as the result and there was blood everywhere.
I Will read this thread seriously after getting better. Ofc, If God still allowed me to do so
 
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