Post your female character and I'll tell you what I think of her from my male reader's perspective

[SailusGebel]

Aaaa I see the thread has turned into something else. But ayyyyy I'm gonna just post here and say that I kind of get you, from a design perspective. Maybe I don't agree with the tone or how it's being said, but I definitely agree that you've got a point there.

The term you're probably looking for is probably the word, "generic".

Like, basically saying the girls have very similar features in terms of design. It's hard to tell one from another when these features don't contrast each other enough to stand out to an onlooker or a reader. Someone would see it and be like, "Oh, that's pretty!" and move on because they've already seen stuff like that.

It's actually a recurring problem in anime, since it's highly influenced by moe culture. Girls in anime need to be pretty in a generic sense to be appealing to the multitude of moe-otaku guys in the demographic they're targeting. There are garment differences but... yeah, hair, eyes, face... they're pretty similar to each other for the most part.

For example, guy characters have more varied designs in mainstream works:

Popular girls for anime usually are along these lines:

The design approach to male and female characters is pretty stark....

But I think asking the guys to design a character that looks flawed might cost them readers and viewers. It just can't be helped. Risks can be expensive!

I'm sure one of my responses to designs in this thread contained the word generic. So yeah, I used this word.
A recurring problem in anime... But, it isn't though? Popular girls in anime, this isn't the only ones though? Generic designs are present in generic animes. Rem was freaking dwarfed by Echidna whose design is much better. She has especially hairy\bushy eyelashes and it became her distinctive feature. Aqua was always less popular than Megumin. And so on.

Just google it. Google girls with black hair from anime. You will be shocked that although there is a lot of them, every girl has a distinctive feature. Either a hair accessory or a different hairstyle. While those girls who have SIMPLE long dark straight hair aren't that popular. Why Esdeath became popular? Why Satsuki Kiryuuin became popular? Why Himiko Toga became popular? Why Mikasa Became popular?

I literally have no idea why you think that those you listed are popular, while those I listed aren't. And I either have no idea why you think MALE mc is more distinctive. Are you kidding? Issei Hyoudou High School DXD is DIFFERENT from Yuki Rito from To love ru? Hida Kizuna is different from Ichika Orimura? Four heroes from the top of my head and all of them are identical. But they are from the same genre though? Okay. Haru Yoshida and Hotaro Oreki. Design difference for male and female is stark, yeah-yeah, of course...

"But I think asking the guys to design a character that looks flawed might cost them readers and viewers. It just can't be helped. Risks can be expensive!"

A picture-perfect example of what I mean when I say that people don't understand me. Who said I'm asking for a flawed appearance? I'm asking for a distinctive feature that will make a person stand out. We aren't drawing here. Different artists can visualize the same text description of the appearance differently. That's why when you are introducing a 'flaw' it isn't equal to making character uglier. It's equal to making the character stand out more.

I may be a guy myself, but I can't help but ask for opinions about my characters, you know?

Name: Aina Regalius (Unreleased yet)
Visuals: Cute, short (5'1"), has low ponytail. She usually wears a hood to hide her appearance. In the future, her battle gear has her wearing oversized-yet-controllable gauntlets as her main weapon along with her magic.
Description: She's very shy and introverted, seeing as she was isolated and hidden away for reasons unreleased (yet) in my novel. At her young self, she's the shyest of them all, hiding from everyone at all times except when she's with her first friend which she loves dearly. In the future, she becomes more extroverted, more outgoing, especially with her first friend. She's the type of girl that will pamper you wherever you are, so long as she has the privacy and time to do so. She's very kind and patient as well, treating everything bad the first friend's doing to her as a mistake or an accident.

What do you think? A little over the top?

A bit more of her appearance will be appreciated. The first part describing her personality is good. The second part is bad. Why does she love to pamper people? What are her hobbies? The things she likes\dislikes? Her flaws? There is a reason why she treats bad things as a mistake or accident, right? Is this a case of self-deception? I know you tried to use five sentences, add a bit more for me.

Hey everyone! I’ll take a stab here, I guess! I’m curious on the thoughts, especially since my character’s so different from most of the others that are on this site/web-publishing, lol. As a note—she’s not meant to be written like a waifu or someone that’s necessarily attractive—she has a ton of superficial ‘flaws’ and emotional ones as well. Just want to preface it with that, since that’s not the intention, but I’m curious to gauge what guys would think!

The (messy) artwork was also drawn by me; latter is a cover idea I scrapped—the book is meant to be realistic and not anime-based; this was for my own artistic/cartoony rendering of her, but I’m always someone that says authorial intent doesn’t matter/death of the author, so you see her however you like; the written description’s more important in my opinion!

Jacinta - a 23 year-old blood witch!
View attachment 7995View attachment 7996
Visual details: seemingly and deceptively soft body type at first: a curvier figure, with a smoother chin and rounded nose—but she’s all jagged and harsh. Deep-set, angry eyes with purple bags; bitten-down nails; a halo of curly (and sometimes coily; there’s a difference haha) dark brown hair; thick brows, rounded nose, full and dark lips. She’s short but very strong, but with a disabled body, and a guarded sense if/when contact comes her way. She carries herself with focus and slight contempt, more at herself and the world than anyone in particular. She’s living paycheck-to-paycheck, so clothes are all secondhand, but compliment her figure in a lazy way without much styling—they highlight her curves, but often have holes in them that she has to re-sew. She’s slightly bitter that she’ll never be ‘pretty’ just because of societal norms, but has had some sexual abuse; she’s made peace with it and her own self-image (in theory), but aches to be someone, anyone, else (and she ends up becoming other people/things through the story as she goes into different dimensions—men included). When she uses magic, her veins rise and light comes off certain parts of her body in galactic blooms.

Personality/background/5 sentence stuff: extremely hard-working—she was handed a bad deck of cards in life, with a missing father, taken/dead mother, and a little sister to take care of…all while being illegally living beneath the system in an alternate US. She’s perpetually exhausted, often bitter, but is a passionate, strong-willed firebrand; when it comes to protecting her sister or her best (and only) friend, she’ll do anything. She lacks time to dedicate to herself and has set aside her own life to simply survive and have her sister succeed, but used to be a planner, always tight-laced and strict and as perfect as possible, living an immigrant life to ‘work twice as hard to get half as much’ (as the saying goes). She was honest and blunt, but followed the rules until she couldn’t—so she’s now working on her magic, breaking the rules, in order to save her sister and get strong enough to help her. She’s biromantic, gray-asexual (still coming to terms with it, but generally leans towards women), and will gradually let herself open up—both in the romantic sense and the emotional sense.

Also, oop looks like I stumbled in at literally the perfect time, discussing non-generic characters haha. I don’t watch much anime, but part of the reason why I tend to be a little off-put from it is the lack of diversity in designs for female characters, and how they pander to certain demographics in doing so. I mean, I get it from a business sense, but media echoes real life :/ I’d personally prefer to have a less conventionally attractive main character and have less of a following, hence Jaci above, haha. Though I do understand why people would have a more appealing MC and characters; no shade to anyone else ofc; just agreeing with the wonderful points that Lin made )

Realistic yet she can use magic? Well...Okay...
Anyway, I like the design and personality. Perhaps she is slightly overloaded with small details. It's my feeling, not an actual critique. Maybe cut off a few small details and add a bigger one? I don't know how to phrase this.

Also, this point. She is strong but has a disabled body? Perhaps it's my English that is bad or a case of a misused word, but I don't understand this point.

Perhaps I get this feeling because I didn't discover her traits\visuals in the story and it was simply 'put' here in a bulk. Anyway, I can't get this feeling of thinking she is 'overloaded' away. However, the thought behind her design I like.

 

[Not_A_Symphony]

Pretty good job on the character. I just really wanted to comment on her design. I love it.

Don't worry, I did, too.

Thank you! I'm glad to know you enjoyed the design of the character!
Also, Alternative, I checked Alice and they are, in a way similar, even though the character from that anime looks a lot more kind than mine [I think]!

Oh... looks like I'm the only who liked her design.

Don't worry about that, the conversation in the thread was not aimed at my character specifically but at the generic long straight black-haired girl. Besides, even if it was aimed at her anyone is free to have their opinions! I'm happy enough to know you two like her

 

[Kazesenken]

I'll bite, for the sake of amusement.

My second female lead for my novel seems to be the popular one.

Description:
The princess of the kingdom, Katalina Bastia de la Sisitina, who spends her free time tinkering and creating magic-based tools as the genius inventor, Katsys, for the MC. She has a kind, gentle personality who is supportive of the MC. However, she gets a bit too into inventing at times, obsessed about creating all the various things that the MC (having been isekaied) comes up with. Though a bit awkward and clumsy socially, she steps up her game when needed, switching to royalty mode to get her through conflicts. While she is able to hold her own in a fight using a combination of elemental-based pistols and portals, she prefers to simply make things that help others (though at the risk of breaking the balance of the world).

 

[SailusGebel]

I'll bite, for the sake of amusement.

My second female lead for my novel seems to be the popular one.

Description:
The princess of the kingdom, Katalina Bastia de la Sisitina, who spends her free time tinkering and creating magic-based tools as the genius inventor, Katsys, for the MC. She has a kind, gentle personality who is supportive of the MC. However, she gets a bit too into inventing at times, obsessed about creating all the various things that the MC (having been isekaied) comes up with. Though a bit awkward and clumsy socially, she steps up her game when needed, switching to royalty mode to get her through conflicts. While she is able to hold her own in a fight using a combination of elemental-based pistols and portals, she prefers to simply make things that help others (though at the risk of breaking the balance of the world).

Like her design\visuals. Her personality though doesn't feel as fleshed out and lacks depth in my opinion.

 

[K5Rakitan]

Don't know about others, but I ignored your character intentionally. I don't think we can have a proper conversation. I doubt I can phrase this well enough. But it's like the way we think is parallel. We will never click\cross. Hope someone else will help you.

Well, I guess that's something!

 

[angry_raccoon]

Oh jeez; I don't know how this quoting thing works (super new here) so if it's formatted weird, my bad haha. EternalSunset--thanks for the feedback! I totally get where you're coming from; everyone's got our preferences :D I never really click with a certain appearance in character, but I totally get it! (And yes, the magic is a big part of her life, and her home universe/world/realm lol)
___
Lin--I'm all here for the discussions, honestly (sorry that it's a little off-topic though)! And you're totally right about the export, or at least that absolutely makes sense to me; I'm American (with parents from two different cultures) so I wouldn't know a lived experience at least in Asia, lol. On your note of people looking the same--it reminds me of this:

http://imgur.com/O5YzHW2

(I mean no offense by this ofc; it's just a funny meme imo )

And thank you so much! I found that the cover I have currently up is getting the most traction here and on RR, so I'm probably sticking with that--and also bright colors; I too am extremely fond of shiny things haha. Wattpad's system kinda sucks when it comes to finding new novels, and on RR it's actually doing somewhat well for a new(ish) book! Thanks for the heads-up; I realize that now that this site's definitely more geared towards Asian media, which is awesome, but maybe not the best fit for my schtick lol. I appreciate it!
____
Salius--it’s realistic as in it being not anime-based! And no that’s fair—the details I listed aren’t all in one chunk in the story, but split up throughout the actual novel.

And no—coupling the word ‘strong’ with ‘disabled’ in the same sentence probably linked it to physicality; I meant mentally strong as in her resolve haha—my bad. (Though people that are physically disabled can be strong physically, too.)

Yeah, that’s probably the thought; in the story I have it well-spread out—I’m 20 chapters in and some of the stuff I included hasn’t even fully been covered yet haha. Thank you for your thoughts! Appreciated too.

 

[EternalSunset0]

Is this still alive? Anyone care to get back on track with a second character of mine?

It's not a long black hair anymore or a red twintail tsundere, so there's that.

 

[SailusGebel]

Is this still alive? Anyone care to get back on track with a second character of mine?

It's not a long black hair anymore or a red twintail tsundere, so there's that.

I think I scared everyone away. It's probably dead now, but I'm willing to look into your second character.

 

[EternalSunset0]

Okay then.

Name of character: Miyuko Sadohara.
Visuals (if any):

Includes large eyebags that the generator didn't have. She also typically wears her coat unbuttoned and wears a cleavage-exposing low cut top.

Description: Lazy and a slacker, she has no qualms passing off her work to the protagonist or a young boy character that she had completely caught in her charms. Very flirty, emotional, and likes to get on the nerves of the two main protagonists (Sayaka [first girl I sent] and the protagonist) with her shipping and sex jokes, taking of bribes, and flaunting of her sexual charms, all done seemingly without a sense of restraint or the awareness of her status as a 30+ year old school counselor and its expectations. She does have a caring side as shown with how she had stood in as a protective mother figure for both Sayaka and the young boy character mentioned. She also has a lot of knowledge about the other world and has some demons of the past related to it.

 

[SailusGebel]

Okay then.

Name of character: Miyuko Sadohara.
Visuals (if any): View attachment 8038 View attachment 8039 Includes large eyebags that the generator didn't have. She also typically wears her coat unbuttoned and wears a cleavage-exposing low cut top.

Description: Lazy and a slacker, she has no qualms passing off her work to the protagonist or a young boy character that she had completely caught in her charms. Very flirty, emotional, and likes to get on the nerves of the two main protagonists (Sayaka [first girl I sent] and the protagonist) with her shipping and sex jokes, taking of bribes, and flaunting of her sexual charms, all done seemingly without a sense of restraint or the awareness of her status as a 30+ year old school counselor and its expectations. She does have a caring side as shown with how she had stood in as a protective mother figure for both Sayaka and the young boy character mentioned. She also has a lot of knowledge about the other world and has some demons of the past related to it.

Like her visuals.
As for description, there must be a reason why she acts flirty and so on, right? I will consider that you didn't delve further into the description so that you will keep it shorter. It's like you told only the first part of the joke. Made a set-up, but there is no following punchline. If there is a further explanation in the story, then the desription\personality is okay. Not the most unique, but it's partially because you can't make such an archetype overly distinct.

IF there isn't a further explanation, well, it's like a bunch of overused tropes mixed all together. Like a lewd nurse in a harem anime\manga, whose only value is to provide fanservice.

 

[Snusmumriken]

Name: Aikerim Adal (Kazakh ай керiм - beautiful moon and Arabic 'adala - to act justly)

Visual:

Yellow eyes. Red long hair, most commonly braided into two front braids and a larger braid or a ponytail behind. The Front braids loop into tori rings carved from solid Amber (to match her eyes) or solid Malachite (to match the green of her daughter's eyes). Rather diminutive for her race of magically enhanced beings. Fox ears, very expressive eyebrows, and a large, voluminous tail, fiery red with a white tip. Prefers to wear black or green kaftans with rich golden embroidery and wide sashes that depict her status in society.

Description: She is extremely shrewd and intelligent enough that her ruling mother saw fit to form a new branch of the clan and grant it to her since she was too low on the succession list. Despite the diminutive form, she is magically gifted and thus both capable of great feats of strength and magical casting. Her main drive and main weakness is her family: she strives to raise her branch to prominence and deeply cares for her children, forcing her to act whenever these are at stake. Enjoys grapes and intelligent conversations. Due to her upbringing, she still retains rather stiff opinions about social behaviours and appropriate decorum.


A.N. She isn't the main character, but a very prominent side character. Up to possibly being the lancer of the story.

 

[Napelynn]

Name: Aikerim Adal (Kazakh ай керiм - beautiful moon and Arabic 'adala - to act justly)

Visual: View attachment 8041 Yellow eyes. Red long hair, most commonly braided into two front braids and a larger braid or a ponytail behind. The Front braids loop into tori rings carved from solid Amber (to match her eyes) or solid Malachite (to match the green of her daughter's eyes). Rather diminutive for her race of magically enhanced beings. Fox ears, very expressive eyebrows, and a large, voluminous tail, fiery red with a white tip. Prefers to wear black or green kaftans with rich golden embroidery and wide sashes that depict her status in society.

Description: She is extremely shrewd and intelligent enough that her ruling mother saw fit to form a new branch of the clan and grant it to her since she was too low on the succession list. Despite the diminutive form, she is magically gifted and thus both capable of great feats of strength and magical casting. Her main drive and main weakness is her family: she strives to raise her branch to prominence and deeply cares for her children, forcing her to act whenever these are at stake. Enjoys grapes and intelligent conversations. Due to her upbringing, she still retains rather stiff opinions about social behaviours and appropriate decorum.


A.N. She isn't the main character, but a very prominent side character. Up to possibly being the lancer of the story.

It may just be because you were limited to five sentences but it seems like her character traits are just intelligent and protective of her family. It’s not unique enough, especially if she is a prominent character. She needs more flaws and more quirky traits.

 

[Snusmumriken]

It may just be because you were limited to five sentences but it seems like her character traits are just intelligent and protective of her family. It’s not unique enough, especially if she is a prominent character. She needs more flaws and more quirky traits.

Yes, if I would write her quirks and personality in detail I could easily spend paragraphs on her alone. Like the tail mannerisms and ear twitches, Or even the fact that she has two husbands. But I have only five sentences so I wrote the most prominent parts. Especially since this is a more telling description rather than showing one.

Edit: I wasn't trying to make her unique. She is the product of the society at large and thus not inherently quirky. Her uniqueness comes from the tiny details that slowly build up her character through the story.

 

[Napelynn]

Yes, if I would write her quirks and personality in detail I could easily spend paragraphs on her alone. Like the tail mannerisms and ear twitches, Or even the fact that she has two husbands. But I have only five sentences so I wrote the most prominent parts. Especially since this is a more telling description rather than showing one.

When I said quirks I'm not referring to relationships like her having two husbands and tail mannerisms and ear twitches barely count. I'm talking about things like hating holidays, an extreme aversion to people touching her ears, or even something like treating protractors as dangerous weapons. I want unique things in her personality that would be difficult to find in other people, things that make her stand out and make her seem more real. If you have any of those please do tell me about them.

Also, I'm going to remove the five sentence limit.

Edit: I wasn't trying to make her unique. She is the product of the society at large and thus not inherently quirky. Her uniqueness comes from the tiny details that slowly build up her character through the story.

Oh, okay then.

 

[SailusGebel]

Name: Aikerim Adal (Kazakh ай керiм - beautiful moon and Arabic 'adala - to act justly)

Visual: View attachment 8041 Yellow eyes. Red long hair, most commonly braided into two front braids and a larger braid or a ponytail behind. The Front braids loop into tori rings carved from solid Amber (to match her eyes) or solid Malachite (to match the green of her daughter's eyes). Rather diminutive for her race of magically enhanced beings. Fox ears, very expressive eyebrows, and a large, voluminous tail, fiery red with a white tip. Prefers to wear black or green kaftans with rich golden embroidery and wide sashes that depict her status in society.

Description: She is extremely shrewd and intelligent enough that her ruling mother saw fit to form a new branch of the clan and grant it to her since she was too low on the succession list. Despite the diminutive form, she is magically gifted and thus both capable of great feats of strength and magical casting. Her main drive and main weakness is her family: she strives to raise her branch to prominence and deeply cares for her children, forcing her to act whenever these are at stake. Enjoys grapes and intelligent conversations. Due to her upbringing, she still retains rather stiff opinions about social behaviours and appropriate decorum.


A.N. She isn't the main character, but a very prominent side character. Up to possibly being the lancer of the story.

Like the visuals.
Description\personality is somewhat shallow. Why is it her goal to raise her branch? She somehow developed\attained this dream, right? 'Explore' her past and bring the backstory along with flaws. Also, her weakness and everything concerning strength aren't weaved into her personality as you described her. It's somewhat standalone. Even when concerning the five-sentence 'rule' and so on, still not a fan.

 

[Snusmumriken]

When I said quirks I'm not referring to relationships like her having two husbands and tail mannerisms and ear twitches barely count. I'm talking about things like hating holidays, an extreme aversion to people touching her ears, or even something like treating protractors as dangerous weapons. I want unique things in her personality that would be difficult to find in other people, things that make her stand out and make her seem more real. If you have any of those please do tell me about them.

Also, I'm going to remove the five sentence limit.

Oh, okay then.

She enjoys talking in questions and steers the conversation to do so, even to the point of answering the questions by inserting statements into her own question right after. Because of that, she views intelligent people who can keep up with her much more favourably. Does not appreciate people judging her by her height, especially since the height is associated with strength in their society and thus higher political standing. For her it's not about her height it is about questioning her status. And status is extremely important - proper attires, traditional hairstyles and general appearance are all there to solidify her rank, which is one of the highest in the country. How much of that is her upbringing and how much is her own effort has not been revealed.

Like the visuals.
Description\personality is somewhat shallow. Why is it her goal to raise her branch? She somehow developed\attained this dream, right? 'Explore' her past and bring the backstory along with flaws. Also, her weakness and everything concerning strength aren't weaved into her personality as you described her. It's somewhat standalone. Even when concerning the five-sentence 'rule' and so on, still not a fan.

Because in my society the branch family has the ability to become the primary family of the clan if it has shown proper qualities\abilities\wealth\power. She got the ability to lead her own despite the fact that she wasn't a firstborn, but she isn't content to remain as a head of a branch house.

Society is very family-oriented. Just like we strive to achieve personal success, for them their success is measured in the prosperity of their family and their clan.

Her strength is a racial ability and that is why it stands by itself.

Her past and future are explored through the story, but I am not there yet and the main part of the story is a mystery so I am not willing to drop spoilers here either.

Edit: she is technically a lancer: the foil of the main character. She is grounded and traditional compared to up-in-the-air and progressive modern-thinking MC. She is a master to the slave, She is the mage to an engineer. the list goes on and on.
She doesn't need a rap sheet of faults and quirks to be what she needs to be. Not every character needs to be unique.

 

[SailusGebel]

She enjoys talking in questions and steers the conversation to do so, even to the point of answering the questions by inserting statements into her own question right after. Because of that, she views intelligent people who can keep up with her much more favourably. Does not appreciate people judging her by her height, especially since the height is associated with strength in their society and thus higher political standing. For her it's not about her height it is about questioning her status. And status is extremely important - proper attires, traditional hairstyles and general appearance are all there to solidify her rank, which is one of the highest in the country. How much of that is her upbringing and how much is her own effort has not been revealed.

Because in my society the branch family has the ability to become the primary family of the clan if it has shown proper qualities\abilities\wealth\power. She got the ability to lead her own despite the fact that she wasn't a firstborn, but she isn't content to remain as a head of a branch house.

Society is very family-oriented. Just like we strive to achieve personal success, for them their success is measured in the prosperity of their family and their clan.

Her strength is a racial ability and that is why it stands by itself.

Her past and future are explored through the story, but I am not there yet and the main part of the story is a mystery so I am not willing to drop spoilers here either.

If society is very family-oriented, then she wants her family to strive because of "***"? Is it pride? Or is it out of desperation? There is a reason, right? I would also like to add that every trait a character posses, is interconnected with other traits. So, her strength makes her stand out, how does she react to this? Is it apathy, or she is prideful because of this? Maybe she is jealous of those who are firstborn, and so on.

I'm going to be perfectly honest, not a lot of people on the forum read each other's work, and the chance that someone will read your work is minuscule. You can see this as an insult if you want, but I want to be honest here. I'm not trying to bash, attack, or desecrate your character. I'm here to provide an opinion from the side. And I can't formulate an opinion, if you are saying this is a spoiler, that is a spoiler, this is hidden, that is hidden. Chances are, you might not even end the current novel. I'm trying to take this 'opinion about characters' seriously, as it helps me grow as an author. If you are taking writing seriously, you might as well describe her without any fear of spoilers so that people like me would have a greater picture.

 

[Snusmumriken]

If society is very family-oriented, then she wants her family to strive because of "***"? Is it pride? Or is it out of desperation? There is a reason, right? I would also like to add that every trait a character posses, is interconnected with other traits. So, her strength makes her stand out, how does she react to this? Is it apathy, or she is prideful because of this? Maybe she is jealous of those who are firstborn, and so on.

I'm going to be perfectly honest, not a lot of people on the forum read each other's work, and the chance that someone will read your work is minuscule. You can see this as an insult if you want, but I want to be honest here. I'm not trying to bash, attack, or desecrate your character. I'm here to provide an opinion from the side. And I can't formulate an opinion, if you are saying this is a spoiler, that is a spoiler, this is hidden, that is hidden. Chances are, you might not even end the current novel. I'm trying to take this 'opinion about characters' seriously, as it helps me grow as an author. If you are taking writing seriously, you might as well describe her without any fear of spoilers so that people like me would have a greater picture.

Do note the edit I've added to the previous post.

Society has a strong religious background associated with magic - for them, the stronger your magic/magical traits are the more you are seen as blessed by the gods. This si why she keeps her ears and tail visibly shown at all times - they are the proof of her blessing.

The world has very hard and strong wildlife as such most countries rely on walls either natural or manmade to keep wild magical animals at bay so that land can be farmed in peace. Due to that, strength is seen as a necessity of survival - you are either strong or you serve the strong who protect you.

There are stories of the past when the Gods have granted their people Gifts - first was the gift of magic (and magical strength) to protect themselves and second was the gift of safety that allowed them to establish their early borders and purge the land from monsters. The twin braids up front are the show of reverence to these two gifts. Due to that, society is heavily magocratic and meritocratic. The lands are ruled by a council of seven major families with each family both having plenty of mages and wealth as well as the divine decree to maintain the certain aspect of the country. Whether it is trade, infrastructure or defences.

She is the branch leader of the trade house. for her to become a master of a family is akin to be raised to the status of seven leaders of the country. Is it pride? yes. It is also her upbringing - she was raised on the notion that this was what all should strive for.

her strength doesn't make her stand out since it is a normal aspect of the ruling class - it actually makes her normal among them. If she was jealous of the heiress it was most likely in the past which made her so desperate to gain her current skills and abilities. Her current status is actually above heiress because she is already leading her own family.

I am currently 120k words or so into my novel and currently finishing the climax. I should finish it within a month or two.

The reason I am explaining the society is that, as a character, she is the face of that society both to the MC and to readers. It is through their interactions the general viewpoint of the noble society is revealed. She looks a bit generic based on the society exactly for that reason, if she was too unique she would be a bad example.

 

[Nymus]

Post your female character and I'll tell you what I think of her from my male reader's perspective​

sry, no way I´ll can let any male tell what he thinks about my Laura. Last one who tried is now a slave and kept in extreme chastity.

 

[EternalSunset0]

Like her visuals.
As for description, there must be a reason why she acts flirty and so on, right? I will consider that you didn't delve further into the description so that you will keep it shorter. It's like you told only the first part of the joke. Made a set-up, but there is no following punchline. If there is a further explanation in the story, then the desription\personality is okay. Not the most unique, but it's partially because you can't make such an archetype overly distinct.

IF there isn't a further explanation, well, it's like a bunch of overused tropes mixed all together. Like a lewd nurse in a harem anime\manga, whose only value is to provide fanservice.

Honestly speaking, the latter was my template for designing her. It was all I had when first making her. I intended her to be the lewd mission control person/mentor who is actually quite strong, who knows a lot about the other dimension but prefers to keep mum to the general public because of an affinity in balance/status quo/whatnot. Also an extroverted stark contrast to the cool, introverted main duo and the demure yet cunning childhood friend character (brown hair in sig).

I had many inspirations, but I think the strongest influence on her creation is Black Bullet's Sumire, if you watched that show. Both in appearance and attitude, but with the lazy, the horny, and the thirst turned all the way up (for my genre, at least)

I actually haven't thought that far ahead with explaining her behavior. What I did, however, was tie her to the origin story of the whole series, like how she, along with the main villain of the story, was one of those responsible for breaching the barrier between the two worlds.

Thanks for pointing the former out. Something that I can consider while writing. After all, her character arc is going to be scattered around in volumes 4 and 5, so there's plenty of time to do it.