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[Zirrboy]

What happened to squid?

Don't know

 

[Lorelliad]

Do me please!

Title: All From His Seat
Genre: Isekai

Work, work, work. As far as Michael knows, most of his life has involved doing exactly that. Born as the eldest son of a poor family, he believed it was his duty to provide.

One day, he collapsed from exhaustion. Waking up, he finds himself reincarnated into the body of a baby, and best of all, he's a cripple? He plans on taking it easy, but it seems like the gods won't let him.

Krodoa, that is the planet's name. A place filled with magic, yet it is one of many.

 

[Zirrboy]

Do me please!

Title: All From His Seat
Genre: Isekai

The account running this thread has been deleted.

But I can give you my impressions.

Work, work, work. As far as Michael knows, most of his life has involved doing exactly that. Born as the eldest son of a poor family, he believed it was his duty to provide.

I'd say at least start with the last sentence and cut the first half.

One day, he collapsed from exhaustion. Waking up, he finds himself reincarnated into the body of a baby, and best of all, he's a cripple? He plans on taking it easy, but it seems like the gods won't let him.

The first sentence belongs in the previous paragraph, though it's a bit short in either case.
In the remainder you go over the entire premise, which, too, feels rushed.

Krodoa, that is the planet's name. A place filled with magic, yet it is one of many.

I don't think this is relevant enough to get its own paragraph.

So here is a suggestion. I'm not too good at writing synopses either, but perhaps you can work off of it to achieve what you want. Some of the information might be wrong in your case, but hopefully you can see what I'm going for.

Born as the eldest son of a poor family, Michael believed it was his duty to help. After two years of having pushed himself in multiple jobs, his body broke down from exhaustion.

But even in granting a second chance through reincarnation into the magic world of Krodoa, fate deals him a cruel hand. His new body is disabled and his attempts at living a normal life seem doomed to fail.

 

[GreenHexagon]

Here's how Ai-chan would edit this:

In ages past, humanity was able to control the elements. These people were called mages and wizards.
As time passed, these abilities were lost and the very knowledge of them fell into obscurity.
What was once mighty mages and wizards were branded as witches and heretics, burned at the stake out of fear and prejudice.
They said I was born in fire and I have a potential for greatness and an even greater fate.
I, myself do not care about 'potential' or 'fate'.

Now here is where your synopsis falls off. It's incomplete. You specified that people's expectation is not his motivation. That's fair. But what is his motivation? What does he actually care about? Why would he fight, or not fight? For what reason would he do some things and not another?

This is just Ai-chan giving examples. You could make another line for his motivation, such as for example:
1. All I care about is a life of peace, and I will bring down everyone who'd threaten my peaceful life.
2. I just want to live an average life, that is all that I ask for, all that I ever wished for.
3. If the gods wish me to affect the world, then I shall refuse it with all my might!
4. If the deities high above wish me to be a tool of their judgement, then it shall be they whom will be judged by my very hands.
5. But fate seems to spare me no peace, and so I take up my axe in the name of justice. I shall show them that greatness has come to exact revenge!

Alright. Although, the Protagonist is female. :/

Srry didn't see number 2. Its still brief.

Compared to previous versions, the third is better. It tells at least the setting for the world, but it still misses the hook. It barely introduces the protagonist at the end and it just says the protagonist doesn't care about the fate. So since all the things described before that - how will it connect to the protagonist since its not something he cares about? Needs to have some form/idea of conflict stated and what it deals with the protagonist so reader get some idea what plot is about.

And since you mentioned how mages and wizards were burned at the stake, how does it affect him now? If he was the "special one," then someone may have already know him. Especially with a hunt for condemnation for people with magical abilities, wouldn't he be hunted down too? So maybe add something to that to lead on what comes next for the protagonist to face.

Adjusted synopsis:


The sentences I added in red are not the best, but its as much as what can go off on, since there isn't much info given on the story. It gives a hook, something to connect the protagonist to the center conflict of mages and wizards being persecuted, even if he's unwilling too at first. And now it starts the idea with what the story is about, not just the world setting. Do feel free to modify it as needed to your story.

Again, Protag is female. Nice tips though

 

[Lorelliad]

The account running this thread has been deleted.

But I can give you my impressions.

I'd say at least start with the last sentence and cut the first half.


The first sentence belongs in the previous paragraph, though it's a bit short in either case.
In the remainder you go over the entire premise, which, too, feels rushed.


I don't think this is relevant enough to get its own paragraph.

So here is a suggestion. I'm not too good at writing synopses either, but perhaps you can work off of it to achieve what you want. Some of the information might be wrong in your case, but hopefully you can see what I'm going for.

Thanks a lot. I'll think about it

 

[AstraMagically]

Can I have my story's synopsis checked as well?

A successful 21st-century billionaire that fell in the hands of the corrupt government. Once a prominent figure who ruled with money and owned a company operating in all sectors across Earth.

What will Rex do when he gets the memory of such a figure?

With gigantic cosmic beasts roaming the galaxy whole, Rex has no choice but to use all of him to survive and escape to the space crack where the creature came from.

Rex, now stranded in an unknown solar system, is forced to descend to a nearby planet. To a planet that is home to a prosperous human civilization with deep secrets and the inhabitants mastering catalyst magic to boot.

In this puzzling world of swords and magic, accompanied by a genius scientist, Liz, and several comrades he will find across his journey, will Rex survive and rise to prominence, or will he fail and suffer the same fate as his predecessor?

Rex is sure of one thing: He will stand against all odds and prevail! Maybe even use his advanced tech to uplift the native as well?

To me, it feels a bit lackluster and not so eye-catching, you know what I mean...
Thank you in advance.

 

[Ai-chan]

Do me please!

Title: All From His Seat
Genre: Isekai

Work, work, work. As far as Michael knows, most of his life has involved doing exactly that. Born as the eldest son of a poor family, he believed it was his duty to provide.

One day, he collapsed from exhaustion. Waking up, he finds himself reincarnated into the body of a baby, and best of all, he's a cripple? He plans on taking it easy, but it seems like the gods won't let him.

Krodoa, that is the planet's name. A place filled with magic, yet it is one of many.

Ai-chan would edit this as:

Work, work, work. As far as Michael can remember, much of his life was spent doing exactly that. Born as the eldest son of a poor family, he believed it was his duty to provide for his family. And so, he found nothing wrong with working til he dropped.

Until one day, when he finally collapsed and died from exhaustion. When he opened his eyes, he found himself reincarnated into the body of a baby, and... a cripple at that? With such bleak prospects for his future, he planned on taking it easy, but apparently, the gods won't even let him do that.



The last sentence, the one with Krodoa is just out of place. It doesn't serve any purpose to the synopsis. And the second sentence makes one wonder what the author was trying to say. Was it to inform the reader that it is a planet with magic and that the protagonist will be able to travel to other planets with magic later? Or was it just a trivia, with no bearing on the story at all? If it's just trivia, then it should not be included in the synopsis. Synopsis should be concise, and should not include unnecessary info.

You could add a hint of his future instead as the 3rd paragraph. Something such as:
He really wished that all these famous people would stop visiting his house. At the very least, he would expect them to stop talking about prophecy involving him. Or saying that he was supposed to die for the greater good. What a horrible thing to say to a baby!

The above does not actually provide tangible spoiler, but it does inform the readers that the prophecy specified that he must die. Now the readers would wonder: Why must he die? How will he die? What if he doesn't want to die? Will people be hunting him down? The more you get your readers minds involved with your synopsis, the more likely they will want to read your story out of curiosity.

 

[GreenHexagon]

Synopsis 5.

Every event starts with a before and ends with an after.
Nothing surprising happened before. It was the after where everything changed.
People gained powers, and the notion of 'superheroes' and 'supervillains' became part of our lives.
And the event?
I died.

 

[joeblow12]

Synopsis of my story,

Are you looking for a reincarnation story, where the protagonist only gets enough of his previous life's memory's to make him relatable? Do you want him to get his harem through charm (mostly). Do you want his harem and other girls he meets, to have fight's over his time,attention and philandering ways? Do you want realistic growth balanced with a story line not stuck in the mud? Do you enjoy POLITELY, giving constructive criticism to a new author? Do you believe that chekhov's gun is a rule that should be used most of the time by author's. Well then, this is the story for you. Some tags may be updated as the story goes on. Some but not most girls will be yanderes. He will not necessarily bag every girl he goes after. There will be may or may not be SOME breakups, which may or may not be permanent. No NTR.