Repay Kindness With The Hatred

Anon2024

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There are people who repay kindness well, and there are people who don't. The people who want kindness the most are usually the ones who will stab you in the back. The ones who want you to be kind to them, or who tell others to be kind are usually the hypocrites. Just an observation I've made.
 

Monaka

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I want to share a little experience of mine as an author. A certain author stabbed me in the back and made me frustrated. I won't mention his name for now for his privacy. Even though the person in question doesn't even keep my privacy in the first place.
Was it the same author who accused you of giving his story a *1 rating yesterday?
 

Madeus

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It's not just the internet. Everyone has massive flaws that only reveal themselves over time when you get closer. The only way people mature beyond their natural limitations is from major failures and external pressures (like social rejection). Putting proper distance and boundaries allow you to leverage their strength without exposing yourself to their flaws and affect them with yours. Internet only allows people to drop their mask and tend to reveal intangible inner flaws that would be otherwise overlooked IRL. While other get rekt for neglecting their outside physical world. That's why appearances cannot be trusted when dealing with human beings.

It's commendable from you to leave the door open for reconciliation and be on the look out for improvement after blocking them. (Because we're all flawed, and you treat others the way you would like to be treated because you're good.)

Morality is like a pact of reciprocity. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. If you can't bear to lower yourself at the same level as others and treat people like shit when they treated like it, you'll have to cut ties. (Of course with allowing penitence and pardon if some miracle character improvement happen)

If your moral requirements are too high in relationships, you may end up a loner. But if that's what you need to feel peace and happiness, just burn bridges kuahaHAHAHA!

I think you took the correct course of actions, and the anger you felt is a call to action to repay bad deed (I think it's moral to forgive a penitent but at the same it's immoral to let bad actions unpunished because unrepentant will repeat offense). Thankfully, the responses of this thread should vindicate your feelings.

Flaws are like a lottery. If you want friends that understand you and treat you the same way, you probably need people with the same flaws as yours, and given the diversity of flaws, it's the minority of the population. So I believe it'd be best to revise your expectations of people when looking for friends.

Well, you sound really reasonable. This indicates that I still lack life experience. Maybe for that reason, I was always putting myself in the cage.
There are people who repay kindness well, and there are people who don't. The people who want kindness the most are usually the ones who will stab you in the back. The ones who want you to be kind to them, or who tell others to be kind are usually the hypocrites. Just an observation I've made.

That's true. I agree with you on that opinion. Maybe I am one because I just lived and made the world out of that Ideal "Everyone was kind to each other." That's also most of my story center around that Ideal because I want to run away from the harsh world to protect myself.
Was it the same author who accused you of giving his story a *1 rating yesterday?
Wait, is there something about that? It's the first time I've heard about this though!
 

Anon2024

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That's true. I agree with you on that opinion. Maybe I am one because I just lived and made the world out of that Ideal "Everyone was kind to each other." That's also most of my story center around that Ideal because I want to run away from the harsh world to protect myself.
It's okay to be kind, and it's also okay to cut people out of your life if they're stressing you out. You're not responsible for them unless they are your child. I don't think this person is your child since they met you on this forum.
 

ArcadiaBlade

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I also have that kind of experience but it isn't all that bad considering that I'm way too used to being mocked by people. Especially with annoying people on a daily basis. Compared to how he had harassed me, its actually way more calming to what shit I used to deal with on a daily basis.

My responses might sound apologetic, even accepting the unfair criticism, but my main charming point is that for every failure I did, I improve at a faster pace. I'm not a masochist but having people degrade me had help me boost up my skills to a point where even my english writing skills got better as time goes on. In the end, he ended up feeling that no matter how much he insulted me, I wouldn't even budge as if he felt like he was seeing a living buddha facing off countless temptations while he wouldn't budge a bit.

But its mainly due to his annoyance is way too inferior to all the shit I've dealt with on a daily basis. Hell, even people would straight up punch or kick my balls to grab my attention. Thats how I tend to be annoyed by people.
 

Monaka

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Wait, is there something about that? It's the first time I've heard about this though!
He started a thread about it. Your name isn't mentioned but the accusation is still there. He only calmed down after the actual person who rated his story appeared and realise it wasn't you.
 

owotrucked

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I also have that kind of experience but it isn't all that bad considering that I'm way too used to being mocked by people. Especially with annoying people on a daily basis. Compared to how he had harassed me, its actually way more calming to what shit I used to deal with on a daily basis.

My responses might sound apologetic, even accepting the unfair criticism, but my main charming point is that for every failure I did, I improve at a faster pace. I'm not a masochist but having people degrade me had help me boost up my skills to a point where even my english writing skills got better as time goes on. In the end, he ended up feeling that no matter how much he insulted me, I wouldn't even budge as if he felt like he was seeing a living buddha facing off countless temptations while he wouldn't budge a bit.

But its mainly due to his annoyance is way too inferior to all the shit I've dealt with on a daily basis. Hell, even people would straight up punch or kick my balls to grab my attention. Thats how I tend to be annoyed by people.
To each their own. The world need Buddhas like you.

The world has experienced massive moral improvements through religious covenants. Was it holy wars that convinced people to adopt them? No, I think the combined efforts of the countless martyrs who held fast to their beliefs. And that's what left an indelible mark in our current culture and laws.

It's just unfortunate that the fanfiction lore to justify the empirical wisdom of ancients discredited the whole thing after scientific enlightment.

You should consider creating a new religion and teach "when someone grabs my left ball, I present them the other"
 

Madeus

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It's okay to be kind, and it's also okay to cut people out of your life if they're stressing you out. You're not responsible for them unless they are your child. I don't think this person is your child since they met you on this forum.
I understand, thanks a lot for your advice.
I also have that kind of experience but it isn't all that bad considering that I'm way too used to being mocked by people. Especially with annoying people on a daily basis. Compared to how he had harassed me, its actually way more calming to what shit I used to deal with on a daily basis.

My responses might sound apologetic, even accepting the unfair criticism, but my main charming point is that for every failure I did, I improve at a faster pace. I'm not a masochist but having people degrade me had help me boost up my skills to a point where even my english writing skills got better as time goes on. In the end, he ended up feeling that no matter how much he insulted me, I wouldn't even budge as if he felt like he was seeing a living buddha facing off countless temptations while he wouldn't budge a bit.

But its mainly due to his annoyance is way too inferior to all the shit I've dealt with on a daily basis. Hell, even people would straight up punch or kick my balls to grab my attention. Thats how I tend to be annoyed by people.
Your mentality is really strong. It's hard to go against everything by yourself. But you really have the strength to do it.

While I feel like I don't know when I want to so I can change myself. All those bullied that I experience in high school left a deep trauma inside me. I became timid and started killing my energetic self.

Then my best friend...no ex-best friend only used me because my house was rich. I was too naive at that time.

Then the lover that I was considered as one and only. But I end only end up getting true NTR in real life. What a joke isn't it?

Then a few more people I got close to were also like me as I graduated from the UNI. And when I started working, I met more people with face masks while treated me coldly behind.

Even my real father just throws me, my brother and my mother, away and went for the other woman.

I started wearing a mask and told myself that I was energetic. I told myself that everything would be fine...But I really afraid of relationships now, even if it was love or friendship.

Sorry for the depression story, I can't control my current emotion now.
He started a thread about it. Your name isn't mentioned but the accusation is still there. He only calmed down after the actual person who rated his story appeared and realise it wasn't you.
Hah, well. I just have nothing more to say...
 

TotallyHuman

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How can I find a world with kindness that is repaid with kindness?

I think it is impossible IRL
Never and nowhere. Close yourself off to the world, get depressed, take your frustration and anger out on the world by becoming a serial killer - it's that simple.
 

PeacefulMyst

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Your mentality is really strong. It's hard to go against everything by yourself. But you really have the strength to do it.

While I feel like I don't know when I want to so I can change myself. All those bullied that I experience in high school left a deep trauma inside me. I became timid and started killing my energetic self.

Then my best friend...no ex-best friend only used me because my house was rich. I was too naive at that time.

Then the lover that I was considered as one and only. But I end only end up getting true NTR in real life. What a joke isn't it?

Then a few more people I got close to were also like me as I graduated from the UNI. And when I started working, I met more people with face masks while treated me coldly behind.

Even my real father just throws me, my brother and my mother, away and went for the other woman.

I started wearing a mask and told myself that I was energetic. I told myself that everything would be fine...But I really afraid of relationships now, even if it was love or friendship.

Sorry for the depression story, I can't control my current emotion now.
don't worry. Just be kind to others and follow your own beliefs, work hard and eventually, you'll find happiness. I wish you the best.
 

Madeus

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Never and nowhere. Close yourself off to the world, get depressed, take your frustration and anger out on the world by becoming a serial killer - it's that simple.
Haha, yeah. It's a good joke
don't worry. Just be kind to others and follow your own beliefs, work hard and eventually, you'll find happiness. I wish you the best.
Thanks a lot for your advice!
 

Anon2024

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Alright, I haven't actually given any advice but here is my actual advice.
Let's first consider the fact that most people who get into abusive relationships will continue to get into abusive relationships. Psychologists see a pattern and the reason behind it is low self esteem. That is, you let the wrong people get close to you because you feel you have low self-worth.

So here are the steps:

1. Stop letting people come to you and befriend you, instead look for someone you want to be friends with and approach them first.
Reason: You take to focus off of yourself, in that way you don't think about your own self-worth temporarily while you try to focus on someone else. This also allows you to learn to control when you want to interact and whether you just want to stop interacting with someone. Initiative is the beginning of all social interaction.

2. When you approach that person, pay attention to how they react over how you feel.
Reason: While it's true your feelings are important, most people have to learn to get out of their own head and skin. Especially when you've dealt with long periods of low self-esteem.

3. It's okay to be an isolationist for a period of time.
Reason: Most who get hurt from others a lot eventually stop trusting. Taking time to be alone and figure out yourself is sometimes more important.

4. Don't take advice from people on the internet.
Reason: Most people on the internet are just chiming in. They don't know you or your situation. This includes me. Don't take my advice, look through it and try to apply the parts you think might work.

Developing yourself, your self-esteem, and your identity is something that takes time and effort. If you've been "thrown away" like you've written above, then you might have to fallen into the pattern of allowing abusive people into your life. The point is to try and escape that pattern, and part of that is learning your own patterns. How do you approach relationships and when do these interactions start. When do they start to go bad? How much are you giving to someone just because they're asking for it?

That's about the most I can give you because you have to figure out the rest yourself.

I would say, posting this topic is a good first step. A lot of times people don't want to admit when others are being intrusive towards them.
 

Madeus

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Alright, I haven't actually given any advice but here is my actual advice.
Let's first consider the fact that most people who get into abusive relationships will continue to get into abusive relationships. Psychologists see a pattern and the reason behind it is low self esteem. That is, you let the wrong people get close to you because you feel you have low self-worth.

So here are the steps:

1. Stop letting people come to you and befriend you, instead look for someone you want to be friends with and approach them first.
Reason: You take to focus off of yourself, in that way you don't think about your own self-worth temporarily while you try to focus on someone else. This also allows you to learn to control when you want to interact and whether you just want to stop interacting with someone. Initiative is the beginning of all social interaction.

2. When you approach that person, pay attention to how they react over how you feel.
Reason: While it's true your feelings are important, most people have to learn to get out of their own head and skin. Especially when you've dealt with long periods of low self-esteem.

3. It's okay to be an isolationist for a period of time.
Reason: Most who get hurt from others a lot eventually stop trusting. Taking time to be alone and figure out yourself is sometimes more important.

4. Don't take advice from people on the internet.
Reason: Most people on the internet are just chiming in. They don't know you or your situation. This includes me. Don't take my advice, look through it and try to apply the parts you think might work.

Developing yourself, your self-esteem, and your identity is something that takes time and effort. If you've been "thrown away" like you've written above, then you might have to fallen into the pattern of allowing abusive people into your life. The point is to try and escape that pattern, and part of that is learning your own patterns. How do you approach relationships and when do these interactions start. When do they start to go bad? How much are you giving to someone just because they're asking for it?

That's about the most I can give you because you have to figure out the rest yourself.

I would say, posting this topic is a good first step. A lot of times people don't want to admit when others are being intrusive towards them.
Thanks a lot, I need to figure this out by myself so I can resolve it.
 

K5Rakitan

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People are dicks sometimes. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
 

owotrucked

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Never and nowhere. Close yourself off to the world, get depressed, take your frustration and anger out on the world by becoming a serial killer - it's that simple.

That would make them a "bad villain" xD

Alright, I haven't actually given any advice but here is my actual advice.
Let's first consider the fact that most people who get into abusive relationships will continue to get into abusive relationships. Psychologists see a pattern and the reason behind it is low self esteem. That is, you let the wrong people get close to you because you feel you have low self-worth.

So here are the steps:

1. Stop letting people come to you and befriend you, instead look for someone you want to be friends with and approach them first.
Reason: You take to focus off of yourself, in that way you don't think about your own self-worth temporarily while you try to focus on someone else. This also allows you to learn to control when you want to interact and whether you just want to stop interacting with someone. Initiative is the beginning of all social interaction.

2. When you approach that person, pay attention to how they react over how you feel.
Reason: While it's true your feelings are important, most people have to learn to get out of their own head and skin. Especially when you've dealt with long periods of low self-esteem.

3. It's okay to be an isolationist for a period of time.
Reason: Most who get hurt from others a lot eventually stop trusting. Taking time to be alone and figure out yourself is sometimes more important.

4. Don't take advice from people on the internet.
Reason: Most people on the internet are just chiming in. They don't know you or your situation. This includes me. Don't take my advice, look through it and try to apply the parts you think might work.

Developing yourself, your self-esteem, and your identity is something that takes time and effort. If you've been "thrown away" like you've written above, then you might have to fallen into the pattern of allowing abusive people into your life. The point is to try and escape that pattern, and part of that is learning your own patterns. How do you approach relationships and when do these interactions start. When do they start to go bad? How much are you giving to someone just because they're asking for it?

That's about the most I can give you because you have to figure out the rest yourself.

I would say, posting this topic is a good first step. A lot of times people don't want to admit when others are being intrusive towards them.
I think this advice is relevant because Madeus stated feeling in a cage. That probably means stripping oneself of autonomy and freedom.

If the ego is the compass for decision making, then losing trust in it would be like being blind and crippled in Life. You'd have to follow the judgement of others (autonomy) while constantly repressing your inner voice (freedom).

On the other hand, knowing your ego (and not blindly following it) fulfills all your needs for love and confidence. At that stage, you won't be compelled to become friend with people because of a need but because of an authentic respect for others.

Damn, you went through so much tho.
 

CypherTails

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As some of the replies mentioned earlier these things happen and this is just part of life experience.

If you think about it positively at least you learned this lesson in a rather harmless way. Some people learn this by being screwed out of jobs, promotions, and even scammed or framed. Some learn this lesson by losing income when they have financial obligations, or they lose vast chunks of assets that are small fortunes. So if you think of these bad experiences as school fees for life lessons, you got a great price. I learned about the scammers and liars by being scammed out 200$ so still not that bad but it still hurt back then.

I'm sure this will just be a funny story in a few years and most likely you gained more than you lost from this. #profit
 

ArcadiaBlade

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To each their own. The world need Buddhas like you.

The world has experienced massive moral improvements through religious covenants. Was it holy wars that convinced people to adopt them? No, I think the combined efforts of the countless martyrs who held fast to their beliefs. And that's what left an indelible mark in our current culture and laws.

It's just unfortunate that the fanfiction lore to justify the empirical wisdom of ancients discredited the whole thing after scientific enlightment.

You should consider creating a new religion and teach "when someone grabs my left ball, I present them the other"
Well, I use to think that religious belief would eventually help me in my direst of times. But considering how much shit the world has thrown at me, even to the point where it actually broke my religious belief in how I treat the world, its mostly through how I handle myself and ponder the essence of living that I believe that you can still live and find the meaning of life through yourself. Even if time doesn't wait for you. Its not just physical abuse, I also dealt with mental(inferiority, lack of talent, uselessness and low esteem) and emotional(lack of friends, betrayal, NTR, sad love story, multiple deaths of people I care about and even the adultery of my father and how the world treats me like shit).

I didn't grow strong just because I was mentally strong from the start. I start out even when I was at the weakest and just gradually toughen myself up through trials and effort to be more confident in myself. And also how I responded with the human side of the world(the light and dark side of things) and ponder the essence of humanity from within ourselves.

I slowly understand that I actually have low IQ that it hinders my memory growth to the point I tend to have amnesiac episodes and blank out from time to time. Yet finding out that I also have High EQ that it causes me to have mental breakdowns to the point where I might go insane from how I easily understood the mind of a person, even the insane ones to the point I can understand how they move, act or perceive things.

The point I'm getting at is that humans naturally have their good points and bad points that no matter what, we can never be perfect in the essence of what God meant to make a 'Perfect' human is unless we understand the core of humanity.

Your mentality is really strong. It's hard to go against everything by yourself. But you really have the strength to do it.

While I feel like I don't know when I want to so I can change myself. All those bullied that I experience in high school left a deep trauma inside me. I became timid and started killing my energetic self.

Then my best friend...no ex-best friend only used me because my house was rich. I was too naive at that time.

Then the lover that I was considered as one and only. But I end only end up getting true NTR in real life. What a joke isn't it?

Then a few more people I got close to were also like me as I graduated from the UNI. And when I started working, I met more people with face masks while treated me coldly behind.

Even my real father just throws me, my brother and my mother, away and went for the other woman.

I started wearing a mask and told myself that I was energetic. I told myself that everything would be fine...But I really afraid of relationships now, even if it was love or friendship.

Sorry for the depression story, I can't control my current emotion now.
I don't really have a strong mentality. I just adapt to my environment to the best I can.

Its more of an anime character development path I took to get this far.

First, I start out as a arrogant child who believe to be the smartest in my class. Only to find myself that I was just ordinary or even below average in terms of intelligence.

I then find out I was strong, only to get myself beaten through the pulp by an adult man twice my size to save someone just because I believe to be a superhero.

I continue to explore myself and find it inferior to be lower than other talents and discover that I never have any talents to what ever field I took myself in, only reaching the average point and nothing else.

Because of how my father told me not to easily believe in people, I stray away from making friends and end up becoming a punching bag to my siblings because they saw that I was living a relax life compared to how my family shove responsibilities to them because they are older than me.

My parents believe in talents and saw me as useless, slowly degrading my mentality to the point I tend to cause emotional breakouts from time to time.

When I faced with my first near death experience for the first time in my life, I saw that I was ignored by my family who never actually tried to save me and only through blind luck did I live due to the currents pushing me back to the beach, only to be rescued in the brink of death.

As my family got richer, I saw that classmates who I rarely talk to, began to approach me, trying to friends with me due to money and thats the first time I saw the darkness of humanity.

My mom and nanny taught me the goodness of humanity and it was the first time I was ever thought of the light of god, making the first steps of believing the light of god and thinking I would turn my bad luck into good.

It all goes downhill as my grandfather who took care of me in the past, had pass on. Next was my Aunt who educate me and love me like a second mother. Then my Uncle who taught me to fight to protect myself and those I care about. Each having sad ends such as a lonely natural death, a painful disease eating her up and an unlawful treatment of the justice system where a cop killed an innocent victim. All forcing me how dark and painful death was.

I then discover my first love only to be greeted with a painful separation after she became sick and ended up leaving town and a forboding event which cause me to realize how dark humanity was.

Seeing my mom cried and secretly hiding the fact that my father was cheating her with another woman cause my eyes to widen and fury rages on as I always idolize my father to be a great figure due to his talents and intelligence, prove that not everyone can ever be good and the trust he told me in the past was somehow ironic when he was the one who told me to believe in him.

Not only did I got betrayed by the friends who would help me graduate, almost having to repeat a grade because of them I ended up causing someone i care about, NTRed because of me due to the girl he likes end up falling for me.

I also transfered to another college course and while transfering, I found out that my mom passed away, right before my birthday which signals at how much the world hates me to the core of its being due to how much events had caused when all I did was trying my best to live.

And this is just a short version of my life.

I didn't grew up strong because I am mentally strong. I grew up strong because I persevere in the path I walked on.

In each of those parts of the story, I broke down, cried and even hated everything the world had thrown at me.

But I continue to move on. I was depressed, edgy and even to the point where I began to think upon suicide.

But I press on. Because I believe that if no one would help me, I help myself push forward.

I walk on those dead corpses of people I step on. Because they believe that I could persevere. They believe that I have talent when I have none. They believe that I was smart when I'm truly stupid to begin with. They believe that I was strong when in reality I was just fragile and weak.

I stand on because I believe that even if no one would help me push on forward, I, myself would push my own back to keep me forward.

Thats the difference between stupidity and geniuses.

One would think instinctively to move forward while the other would logically push themselves to a better future.

Even if you are weak, talentless, useless or just a waste of humanity. We all start out incomplete and move with the goal to complete ourselves. That was what god wanted me to believe. Thats what science wants to achieve. Thats what philosophers want to preach and thats what humans to strive to head towards.

'Our Perfect Human Selves'.

Evil, good or our destiny. We all have our good points and bad points but in the end.

We only live because we want to discover ourselves to begin with.

What is our goal in this world?

What push us forward?

It is mainly to find our goal and complete ourselves.

So, I believe that you also have your defects and inperfections but you can still complete yourselves by discovering what you want to do.

I think I've talk a bit too long so I'll just end here.
 

idontknowwhoiam

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Don't let anything related to the internet or its denizens bother you. Life's too short. Also, wow at the 10 paragraph replies in this thread. Go write, dudes.
 
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