"Sir, you can't possibly be thinking about attacking the Disney-Google-Meta alliance, they're neutral!"
"Lieutenant, please tell me where you obtained the information that they're neutral?"
"Sir, I have made a thorough search on the internet, interrogated dozens of refugees from the United States and followed all of their social media accounts. All sources confirm that the cryo-head cyborgs, genetically engineered killer mice and cellphone zombies only ever acted defensively, Sir."
The Colonel of the Fast Food alliance tssked. (he was technically a general, but at the insistence of a Kentucky based major player of the alliance, no one had a grade above Colonel)
"Lieutenant, all of your sources are being controlled by the very enemy we are about to strike. Information has always been the utmost priority in war, and they are masterfully controlling it."
"Do you mean people on the internet have been lying? But the internet is good, the internet is truth, Sir!"
"That was one of their earlier slogans, it came out the day they started their alliance. It is impressive that it has permeated society that much. This is why we need to defeat them and wrestle that power away from them!"
Elsewhere, in a secluded area, a man with gigantic mouse ears directly grafted upon his head was smirking. He turned to the screens facing him, one of which showed a shower of figures reminiscent of the matrix, the other the perfect image of the ideal general, so fake it would have hurt his designer heart if more than a decade of war hadn't already killed it.
"Well, gentlebeings, it looks like we've got some new information from our embedded spy software on every device ever sold. Good job, Larry and Mark."
"It's always a pleasure to know what people are doing, said the too-perfect general."
The line on the other screen molded into a question mark.
"Oh, our plan? We're well underway with that! Once the mutant chickens and the redhead brigade start moving forward, we'll draw them into a fight with the drones of Amazon-Tesla, that's why I insisted on your backdoor access. When they'll have weakened each other, we'll just swoop in to collect the spoils. We could make a great movie out of it afterwards! Of course, the narrative will be that we are the reasonable good guys intervening to prevent bloodshed."
"That's a sound plan, I'll push the narrative on the social media as their invasion progresses. They don't stand a chance, and we'll have the civilians on our side. As always."
The screns shut one after the other. With the Fast Food alliance defeated, and Amazon-Tesla weakened they would be even closer to world domination.
It was time to plan a narrative painting his allies as the bloodthirsty ones of the alliance. Maybe first as a series? There was work to do before Disney ruled the whole world, alone.
