Writing Rewriting, need some tips

Nhatduongg

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Well, I’ve already posted this thread, but it died and forgotten because I went back to discuss about my synopsis, so I posted again.

So new writer bla bla, posted first novel without doing much research and looks like sh*t. Now I’m rewriting that novel and encountered some problems, hoping to know what you experienced writer would do in this situation.

1. Title change. I don’t know if it commonly happens or not, I saw 1 or 2 author changed the title of their novel. But I think I don’t want to change it cause the title of my novel contains so much information.
2. One of my reader said: ‘The structure of your sentences is not really that great but can obviously be fixed.’ But I’m not really sure what he meant, can you give me an example?
3. He also said: ‘A more diverse range in vocabulary would also go a long way.’ But my English level hasn’t got to that level, yet if you can give me some tips about it, I’d be grateful.
4. Do I delete my novel and publish a new one? If so, what time should I upload? I’d be posting 5 chapters on the first day and I want to gain the most out of the ‘Latest Series’ (GMT+8 btw).
5. My cover looks like an unfinished piece of sh*t.
I just gave up half way drawing it cause the windows were too annoying.
View attachment 9084

Thanks you all in advance.
 

Snusmumriken

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Honestly, the best way to improve sentence structure and vocabulary range is to....read.

And read good prose, either published English books in the style that you like or good novels on the internet that have good style themselves. Read them and see what they do and how they do it to relay emotions and imagery, characters and setting.

This is the best way to expand your skillset in that area.

Having someone else to write for you sentence by sentence won't make the story yours but theirs instead.
 

Nhatduongg

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Honestly, the best way to improve sentence structure and vocabulary range is to....read.

And read good prose, either published English books in the style that you like or good novels on the internet that have good style themselves. Read them and see what they do and how they do it to relay emotions and imagery, characters and setting.

This is the best way to expand your skillset in that area.

Having someone else to write for you sentence by sentence won't make the story yours but theirs instead.
Okay…
I’m not so sure where I got my style from. No, actually I think it’s my Vietnamese writing style.
 

ThatOne

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For number 4 you can use Rewordify.com or search up synonyms. I can edit your chapters if you want me to though, for free ofc. I'm a native speaker ig so maybe I can help? Idk, add my discord if you want me to. It's: NOOT NOOT MOFOS#8888
 
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Well, I’ve already posted this thread, but it died and forgotten because I went back to discuss about my synopsis, so I posted again.

So new writer bla bla, posted first novel without doing much research and looks like sh*t. Now I’m rewriting that novel and encountered some problems, hoping to know what you experienced writer would do in this situation.

1. Title change. I don’t know if it commonly happens or not, I saw 1 or 2 author changed the title of their novel. But I think I don’t want to change it cause the title of my novel contains so much information.
2. One of my reader said: ‘The structure of your sentences is not really that great but can obviously be fixed.’ But I’m not really sure what he meant, can you give me an example?
3. He also said: ‘A more diverse range in vocabulary would also go a long way.’ But my English level hasn’t got to that level, yet if you can give me some tips about it, I’d be grateful.
4. Do I delete my novel and publish a new one? If so, what time should I upload? I’d be posting 5 chapters on the first day and I want to gain the most out of the ‘Latest Series’ (GMT+8 btw).
5. My cover looks like an unfinished piece of sh*t.
I just gave up half way drawing it cause the windows were too annoying.
View attachment 9084

Thanks you all in advance.
I’m rewriting as well! It's mostly due to plot holes and stuff like that. What I’m doing is making the chapters longer with more plot since that was a problem of mine.

But if you want advice on your grammar, a good advice is: find any one of your favorite English novels/books (as long as you like how it's written), write everything down and study it. Punctuation, periods etc, get it all down and study how to properly make sentences or how to have a scene flow.
 

ArcadiaBlade

I'm a Lazy Writer, So What?
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Dec 23, 2018
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1, you don't have to necessarily change unless your story doesn't the title. Most authors change it mainly because they knew that their title and plot are slowly becoming different from what they have in mind and mostly change due to that.

2, that just a case of us natives not necessarily knowing how english works and mostly use it to the most basis of sentences. People often recommended to us that we should read but I mostly believe in practice and rechecking to be the most effective way to train the mind and understand how we fix our sentences.

Horrible ex:
Love not so right that we fogot what love is.

Correct ex:
Love isn't so right that we tend to forget what love is.

With each practice you gain the proper knowledge that reading does but in a much faster pace. However, you shouldn't really neglect reading as it also supports how to construct sentences as well. Just read in moderation.

3, same as No. 2 as we tend to forget we have fix language issues and mostly practice is always what we need. Don't necessarily think we don't have to improve on a quick pace but just slowly adjust your writing skill in your own way.

4, you don't have to delete your novel just to remake one and just try to improve the old one to the best you can, if you want to rewrite, only write when its necessary and your skills have improve much that you could start rewriting your old works with a new one.

5, apologies but it seems I can't view your picture atm.
 
D

Deleted member 45782

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1. Title change. I don’t know if it commonly happens or not, I saw 1 or 2 author changed the title of their novel. But I think I don’t want to change it cause the title of my novel contains so much information.
If you don't wanna, then don't. Your choice, your story.
2. One of my reader said: ‘The structure of your sentences is not really that great but can obviously be fixed.’ But I’m not really sure what he meant, can you give me an example?
Probably meaning that your grammar and past versus present tense needs improvement.
3. He also said: ‘A more diverse range in vocabulary would also go a long way.’ But my English level hasn’t got to that level, yet if you can give me some tips about it, I’d be grateful.
Don't have to use a lot of wide range and different vocabulary. Sometimes too much fancy vocabulary deters readers. However, things like "said" - if you do use that often for every dialogue, there are threads on how to use alternatives for that word.
4. Do I delete my novel and publish a new one? If so, what time should I upload? I’d be posting 5 chapters on the first day and I want to gain the most out of the ‘Latest Series’ (GMT+8 btw).
Up to you. Like many have stated before, its not about what time you upload but how often you upload.
5. My cover looks like an unfinished piece of sh*t.
Its alright. Some of my covers are in Microsoft Paint. Its slapstick and laziness. XD[/spoiler]
 

Nhatduongg

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5, apologies but it seems I can't view your picture atm.
I would advice you not look at it, it’s just terrible.
57DAF833-D3DD-404F-915D-B038F525F835.jpeg
Don't have to use a lot of wide range and different vocabulary. Sometimes too much fancy vocabulary deters readers. However, things like "said" - if you do use that often for every dialogue, there are threads on how to use alternatives for that word.
Really? Where?
 

K5Rakitan

Level 32 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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2. One of my reader said: ‘The structure of your sentences is not really that great but can obviously be fixed.’ But I’m not really sure what he meant, can you give me an example?
One example will not help. What you need is a complete guide, such as this:
 

Jemini

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I'm also re-writing. I am one of those who also re-named my series in addition to re-writing it.

My series, 'Key to the Void,' is a re-write of "Second Life as the Sister of a Goddess."

Mostly, I have taken lessons I learned with my first attempt at the story and am applying a very new take on the story as a result. As someone else here said, I am massively slowing down the progression of the story and have decided to take an excursion out of the fairy forest they start in and go into human lands for a while before getting to the fey capital. (Had to come up with something very new in the plot to force this issue.)

I also eliminated characters, introduced characters who I did not get the chance to introduce last time around, and while I am not changing many events I am changing who it is that performs various actions in the story for the sake of making things more interesting.

There are several things you can do with a story to make it better. From my own experience, what I did and what I might advise for you (depending on where you are with things) is that I actually pressed on with writing my old series for dozens of chapters even after I had resolved to re-write it. The point in doing this is because I was trying to gather a good view of exactly what my story needed in order to improve. A re-write is your chance to really get it right, so you don't want to waste it. You want to go in well prepared. To better prepare you for that, pressing on with your old version is a very good method because it allows you to push out more ideas so you can have more material to work with when you are re-arranging things for your next version.
 

Not_A_Symphony

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So new writer bla bla, posted first novel without doing much research and looks like sh*t. Now I’m rewriting that novel and encountered some problems, hoping to know what you experienced writer would do in this situation.
I wouldn't consider myself an experienced writter per say but I will give you my opinion on things that would help you grow your base and improve on your novel.
Small Note: This is just my personal opinion as a reader (yes, I read a couple of chapters just to get a better concept of your novel]. It is not mean to be an attack to your art, just constructive criticism you might choose to change or not. It is completely up to you!

1. Title change. I don’t know if it commonly happens or not, I saw 1 or 2 author changed the title of their novel. But I think I don’t want to change it cause the title of my novel contains so much information.
Personally I don't think that changing the title of your novel will influence it greatly. Of course there are certain titles more appealing than others, so for example if you place "villainess/villain" or even "reborn/rebirth" (anything related to "isekais"), you tend to get a bigger base from the bat since those thematics are trending.
This doesn't mean that you won't get a base if you don't use certain "trending" words on your title so feel free to use whatever you see fit as the author of the story.
At the end of the day, you are the one that understands the story better and knows what it's the base goal behind it. Concluding, you can change it if you wish but it is not exactly an obligation.

2. One of my reader said: ‘The structure of your sentences is not really that great but can obviously be fixed.’ But I’m not really sure what he meant, can you give me an example?
3. He also said: ‘A more diverse range in vocabulary would also go a long way.’ But my English level hasn’t got to that level, yet if you can give me some tips about it, I’d be grateful.
I understand what that reader meant. By your simple writting style I assume you are working on a Light Novel rather than a Novel itself (since you use very little description and small sentences).
Well I've noticed a couple of things that you can improve that will facilitate the reading and keep the readers interested.
These are the things that I felt that could be improved:

1. Lack of Synonyms
So in your story you repeat certain words really close to each other. An example:
“Done. Hmm… I got quite a lot this time.” Alice absorbed the gem in his body.

“And look at them; they have quite the funny face.” Cater pointed at the 4 Arena Breakers, who also absorbed that gem.
Don't get me wrong, repeating words is quite alright but there needs to be a distance between them. So for example, if you write "absorbed" in line 1, then you don't repeat that word in the following lines.
One solution for this is to find synonyms and allow your sentences to be smoother. For example:
“Done. Hmm… I got quite a lot this time.” Alice absorbed the gem in his body.

“And look at them; they have quite the funny face.” Cater pointed at the 4 Arena Breakers, who had also consumed it within their bodies.

2. Commas and Periods
I've noticed that your commas and periods are a bit all over the place. Sometimes you place a comma other times you place a period. I think that gets the reader confused and I would advise you to decide on one and stick to it.
“I understand. I will get them.” Said the Military Minister.
Personally, I think that sticking with commas in your dialogues would be the way to go since the majority of the readers are more used to novels like that (and, if I am not mistaken, that is the "correct way" grammarly speaking). Of course it is up to you.
I would suggest to change it to the following:
“I understand. I will get them,” said the Military Minister.

3. Replacing character's names
In your dialogues you repeat your character's names way too often instead of changing them with other words (like "he", "they", "she" and so on). That makes the reading thougher since it makes it seem you are reading the same thing over and over again.
“Why do I need to be here?” Said Alice in the Arena Breaker section.

“If not, you’ll never be sleeping again.” Said Cater, sitting on the chair for Supreme Leader.

“Okay… and Masako, why are you here?” Alice asked.
As you can see, this repeteating makes it a bit hard to keep up. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:
  • Add a small description to distinguish the characters:
“Why do I need to be here?” the handsome blonde haired boy questioned as he arrived at the Arena Breaker section.

“If not, you’ll never be sleeping again, Alice,” Cater stated while sitting on the chair for Supreme Leader.

“Okay… and Masako, why are you here?” he frowns while pushing his golden locks back.
  • Other option is to distinguish them by their actions or traits:
“Why do I need to be here?” Alice questioned in the Arena Breaker section.

“If not, you’ll never be sleeping again,” Cater glared at his comrade coldly while sitting on the chair for Supreme Leader.

“Okay… and Masako, why are you here?” feeling the pressure from the man standing before him, he swiftly changes the conversation topic.

4. Confusing Sentences
I've come to find some of your sentences confusing. For example:
“If not, you’ll never be sleeping again.” Said Cater, sitting on the chair for Supreme Leader.
So in this sentence alone I can't understand what you mean: Is Carter the Supreme Leader? Is he warming up the seat for the Supreme Leader? It is not clear.

“Supreme Leader! They’ve breached the first layer of mine!” Said a soldier.
In this one I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you refering to the mines? Or are you refering to an area this soldier was protecting? I can't understand it.

5. Grammar Issues
In some sentences you end up making some harsh grammar mistakes. A review would help to improve this!
For example:
“You can go to confirm when they come next week. Since the mercenaries don’t come from Terran, their ships are much better than us.” Masako explained.
I'm assuming that you meant "ours" and not "us".

6. Random lines?
Because she threatened to cripple the Terran’s economy after all, why not? Why shouldn’t I change the laws?” Cater said.
So in your story the little bit I placed in Italic has a harsh line on top, which makes it not very readable. I don't really understand why it is there but I think it makes it confusing.
The only logical explanation is that it is a "thought" and not a "speech" so, if that is the case, there is a easy solution.
Use " " for speech & ' ' for thoughs. Easy and simple!

7. A bit more details
I'm not refering to character details since I think that is up to the writter BUT I think that you repeat yourself quite a lot within the speeches.
Examples:
"Said"; "Answered", "Asked"...
Using a bit of description as I showed in the point 3º of this reply or even using some synonyms (like, "Stated", "Declared", "Affirmed", "Questioned", "Responded", and so on...) will help to relieve this feeling of repetition on the dialogues themselves.

4. Do I delete my novel and publish a new one? If so, what time should I upload? I’d be posting 5 chapters on the first day and I want to gain the most out of the ‘Latest Series’ (GMT+8 btw).
I think that is completely up to you, once again. One of my friends deleted his novel and after reviewing posted it again but some people didn't quite like it so they began rating it lower than before. You will never be able to please everyone so just do what you would like and what makes you more comfortable with.
Even if you lose your current reader base that doesn't mean that everything is lost because you will be able to regain them as you upload more chapters.

Regarding the upload time... It is complicated since no one actually knows how the Scribble's algorythim works but I personally think that going steady is the way.
I think that the majority of the writers publish 1 to 2 chapters a week, some of them on sheduled days (like myself) or ramdomly. Other even post 2 chapters per day one during the morning and one at night. Of course, you have to check your availability and see how much you can write.
I would advise you to actually stack up some chapters and upload them as you go so you won't run out of content if any accident might happen (for example, you getting sick and so on).
Personally, I would say that it is a matter of seeing what fits you and your community better overall. Trial and Error are the way to go.

5. My cover looks like an unfinished piece of sh*t
I think that covers are one of the most important things on a novel specially when you want to catch a reader's interest: the better your cover, the more views you will have.
Note that I said views and not readers since views happen when people click your page because they are curious and the readers are the ones that stay after reading your story properly.
Personally, I would advise you to actually get an appealing cover, either from Royalty Free Images, a paid artist or even a piece of art that you have the permission from the artist itself. I think that might help your novel to grow.


Some extra things I would suggest is to use the app Grammarly to correct some mistakes and review your story (keep in mind that the app isn't always right but it is already a great help for writers who are starting out) and the webside Word Counter (this one allows you to see what are the words you repeat the most, how long does it take to read the story, how is it's reading level and so on).

Another tip I would give you is to review your chapters at least 2 times: so you write the chapter, read it once and correct any mistakes and then either read it out loud or in a Text-To-Speech app. This will allow you to see if your are repeating yourself too much and if the sentences do sound right.

Also, I think your synopsys is a bit long. Personally I would just do a paragraph and I would be done because, at the end of the day, a synopsys is supposed to be just a small "sniff" of your story and not a through explanation. Adding questions to the synopsys such as "Will he be able to prevent his doom?" and things between these lines, will also sparkle a curiosity within the reader to know more.

Reading english books and novels will help you improve your grammar and vocabulary a lot so I would advise you to do so. I've seen some great novels around here but I've also seen some that could use some improvement in those two categories so, if you are aiming to learn I would advise you to choose wisely and not read a novel/book just for the plot itself.
Note: I'm not stating that the plots are bad, it's just that the grammar and the vocabulary used are weak and won't help you to improve!

OOF, I've written a lot, like a LOOOOOT. I'm sorry for the long text. These are just some critics/things I think you could improve. Of course it's up to you if you want to use them or not but, either ways, I just wanted to help a fellow writer out.
Hope your novel turns out super duper good and you manage to achieve the goals you want! :blobtaco:

P.S.: Sorry for any errors, it is super early here and I just woke up. #IWokeUpLikeThis
 

Nhatduongg

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2021
Messages
147
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I wouldn't consider myself an experienced writter per say but I will give you my opinion on things that would help you grow your base and improve on your novel.
Small Note: This is just my personal opinion as a reader (yes, I read a couple of chapters just to get a better concept of your novel]. It is not mean to be an attack to your art, just constructive criticism you might choose to change or not. It is completely up to you!


Personally I don't think that changing the title of your novel will influence it greatly. Of course there are certain titles more appealing than others, so for example if you place "villainess/villain" or even "reborn/rebirth" (anything related to "isekais"), you tend to get a bigger base from the bat since those thematics are trending.
This doesn't mean that you won't get a base if you don't use certain "trending" words on your title so feel free to use whatever you see fit as the author of the story.
At the end of the day, you are the one that understands the story better and knows what it's the base goal behind it. Concluding, you can change it if you wish but it is not exactly an obligation.



I understand what that reader meant. By your simple writting style I assume you are working on a Light Novel rather than a Novel itself (since you use very little description and small sentences).
Well I've noticed a couple of things that you can improve that will facilitate the reading and keep the readers interested.
These are the things that I felt that could be improved:

1. Lack of Synonyms
So in your story you repeat certain words really close to each other. An example:

Don't get me wrong, repeating words is quite alright but there needs to be a distance between them. So for example, if you write "absorbed" in line 1, then you don't repeat that word in the following lines.
One solution for this is to find synonyms and allow your sentences to be smoother. For example:


2. Commas and Periods
I've noticed that your commas and periods are a bit all over the place. Sometimes you place a comma other times you place a period. I think that gets the reader confused and I would advise you to decide on one and stick to it.

Personally, I think that sticking with commas in your dialogues would be the way to go since the majority of the readers are more used to novels like that (and, if I am not mistaken, that is the "correct way" grammarly speaking). Of course it is up to you.
I would suggest to change it to the following:


3. Replacing character's names
In your dialogues you repeat your character's names way too often instead of changing them with other words (like "he", "they", "she" and so on). That makes the reading thougher since it makes it seem you are reading the same thing over and over again.

As you can see, this repeteating makes it a bit hard to keep up. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:
  • Add a small description to distinguish the characters:

  • Other option is to distinguish them by their actions or traits:


4. Confusing Sentences
I've come to find some of your sentences confusing. For example:

So in this sentence alone I can't understand what you mean: Is Carter the Supreme Leader? Is he warming up the seat for the Supreme Leader? It is not clear.


In this one I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you refering to the mines? Or are you refering to an area this soldier was protecting? I can't understand it.

5. Grammar Issues
In some sentences you end up making some harsh grammar mistakes. A review would help to improve this!
For example:

I'm assuming that you meant "ours" and not "us".

6. Random lines?

So in your story the little bit I placed in Italic has a harsh line on top, which makes it not very readable. I don't really understand why it is there but I think it makes it confusing.
The only logical explanation is that it is a "thought" and not a "speech" so, if that is the case, there is a easy solution.
Use " " for speech & ' ' for thoughs. Easy and simple!

7. A bit more details
I'm not refering to character details since I think that is up to the writter BUT I think that you repeat yourself quite a lot within the speeches.
Examples:

Using a bit of description as I showed in the point 3º of this reply or even using some synonyms (like, "Stated", "Declared", "Affirmed", "Questioned", "Responded", and so on...) will help to relieve this feeling of repetition on the dialogues themselves.


I think that is completely up to you, once again. One of my friends deleted his novel and after reviewing posted it again but some people didn't quite like it so they began rating it lower than before. You will never be able to please everyone so just do what you would like and what makes you more comfortable with.
Even if you lose your current reader base that doesn't mean that everything is lost because you will be able to regain them as you upload more chapters.

Regarding the upload time... It is complicated since no one actually knows how the Scribble's algorythim works but I personally think that going steady is the way.
I think that the majority of the writers publish 1 to 2 chapters a week, some of them on sheduled days (like myself) or ramdomly. Other even post 2 chapters per day one during the morning and one at night. Of course, you have to check your availability and see how much you can write.
I would advise you to actually stack up some chapters and upload them as you go so you won't run out of content if any accident might happen (for example, you getting sick and so on).
Personally, I would say that it is a matter of seeing what fits you and your community better overall. Trial and Error are the way to go.


I think that covers are one of the most important things on a novel specially when you want to catch a reader's interest: the better your cover, the more views you will have.
Note that I said views and not readers since views happen when people click your page because they are curious and the readers are the ones that stay after reading your story properly.
Personally, I would advise you to actually get an appealing cover, either from Royalty Free Images, a paid artist or even a piece of art that you have the permission from the artist itself. I think that might help your novel to grow.


Some extra things I would suggest is to use the app Grammarly to correct some mistakes and review your story (keep in mind that the app isn't always right but it is already a great help for writers who are starting out) and the webside Word Counter (this one allows you to see what are the words you repeat the most, how long does it take to read the story, how is it's reading level and so on).

Another tip I would give you is to review your chapters at least 2 times: so you write the chapter, read it once and correct any mistakes and then either read it out loud or in a Text-To-Speech app. This will allow you to see if your are repeating yourself too much and if the sentences do sound right.

Also, I think your synopsys is a bit long. Personally I would just do a paragraph and I would be done because, at the end of the day, a synopsys is supposed to be just a small "sniff" of your story and not a through explanation. Adding questions to the synopsys such as "Will he be able to prevent his doom?" and things between these lines, will also sparkle a curiosity within the reader to know more.

Reading english books and novels will help you improve your grammar and vocabulary a lot so I would advise you to do so. I've seen some great novels around here but I've also seen some that could use some improvement in those two categories so, if you are aiming to learn I would advise you to choose wisely and not read a novel/book just for the plot itself.
Note: I'm not stating that the plots are bad, it's just that the grammar and the vocabulary used are weak and won't help you to improve!

OOF, I've written a lot, like a LOOOOOT. I'm sorry for the long text. These are just some critics/things I think you could improve. Of course it's up to you if you want to use them or not but, either ways, I just wanted to help a fellow writer out.
Hope your novel turns out super duper good and you manage to achieve the goals you want! :blobtaco:

P.S.: Sorry for any errors, it is super early here and I just woke up. #IWokeUpLikeThis
Well that’s a LONG reply. I guess you’re mostly correct.

You know what? Screw the idea of deleting the novel, I’m gonna delete the old chapters and replace it.
 
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