IvyVeritas
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2019
- Messages
- 64
- Points
- 58
I'm interested in getting some feedback for my story, The Eighth Warden. The genre is traditional, epic high fantasy, with slow-building harem overtones but no explicit scenes.
So far, I've posted the first ten chapters, which switch back and forth between flashbacks and the present day (after Chapter 10, the rest of the first book will remain in the present day). I've received a few complaints about the structure, but I've received an equal number of comments telling me to keep it as it is. One thing I'm debating is whether starting Chapter 1 with "Twenty-eight years earlier..." is a problem. As a new reader, is it confusing for that to be the first thing you encounter? If it's a problem, I could change Chapter 1 to "Prologue" instead, and remove the time indicator at the beginning.
Let me know what you think, if anyone's interested in looking...
The grammar and syntax are in good shape, but if you notice any problems, I definitely want to fix them.
So far, I've posted the first ten chapters, which switch back and forth between flashbacks and the present day (after Chapter 10, the rest of the first book will remain in the present day). I've received a few complaints about the structure, but I've received an equal number of comments telling me to keep it as it is. One thing I'm debating is whether starting Chapter 1 with "Twenty-eight years earlier..." is a problem. As a new reader, is it confusing for that to be the first thing you encounter? If it's a problem, I could change Chapter 1 to "Prologue" instead, and remove the time indicator at the beginning.
Let me know what you think, if anyone's interested in looking...
The grammar and syntax are in good shape, but if you notice any problems, I definitely want to fix them.