Short Feedback Thread

[E.M.Kaustinen]

Well, it's alright. The beginning baby pov was a bit jarring, but a nice quirk. Not a lot of people write the way the character would think like at the time.

As for story itself, it's just okay. I didn't really feel like reading the next chapter, although that is probably because of my very narrow tastes, but there is still a need to work on captivating the reader more.

In numbers, this would be a solid 6-7 / 10. Not something I'd read for any long period of time, but others might enjoy it.

Thanks for the feedback! I am definitely working on making it more captivating in the beginning, but I also decided to do a slow build-up to get to the more interesting part of the story knowing that it would not fit to everyone's taste (The twist comes at the end of chapter 4). There was also a lot of things I revealed in the first chapter that I leave up to the reader's interpretation and will reveal its significance later on, but I understand that makes the first chapter a bit less impactful than it should be. I am currently, and slowly—because of school, work, and life—editing my story. Hopefully, it makes it a bit more enjoyable to read from the beginning. Still, thanks for giving it a read and I hope you have a great week!

 

[Deleted member 93348]

It's good, although a disagreement between your writing style and my reading preferences prevents me from enjoying it the way others might.

In terms of story, you have the same problem of captivation. The premise is intriguing, but not captivating. I could read the next chapter, but it doesn't give me the wanting feeling that comes from reading a captivating book.

Also, the way you transition between time periods could be more separated. It's jarring suddenly being in a different area and time period. Trying to figure those things out is extra work that most readers would just not do, which often leads to dropping the book.

Gotcha. I’m actually planning on revamping my writing style while keeping a witty tone with inner monologue, Princess Bride-style. I finally realized how my prose could work better for readers, and I need is to let their eyes rest and not read too much action or too much info cramped into one paragraph. If you’re wondering why the story right now isn’t captivating, that’s on purpose. I want to write an epic isekai fantasy with 300-400+ chapters under its belt (I’ve already written 120+ in the first iteration of my novel). So I gotta start narrow, and perhaps even dull.

Anyway, I’m quite curious what your reading preferences are. Nobody’s the same, sure, but still. I’d love to attract more readers, y’know?

 

[BenJepheneT]

Well. It's something.
Not necessarily something I'd read personally, but it's something. I can only really judge on the writing level, since the story is pretty much non existent.

Overall writing level is on par with quite a few actual writers I read, so there's nothing lacking there.

I guess, for it's type, it's a solid 9.
It's self-indulgence of the highest level, but it's good self-indulgence, which is hard to find

To my defense, there is a story behind it, but to be fair, it's presented in an obtuse, nonlinear fashion.

But god damn, getting a 9 for smut. I'm flattered.

 

[Error403]

But god damn, getting a 9 for smut. I'm flattered.

You aren't getting a 9 for smut, you're getting a 9 for writing quality. If I calculate everything else, it's more a 5 or 4.

 

[BenJepheneT]

You aren't getting a 9 for smut, you're getting a 9 for writing quality. If I calculate everything else, it's more a 5 or 4.

 

[RainingSky]

Feel welcome to try it out

We the Villains

 

[TheIcMan]

I'd be super down for some feedback whenever you got the time
Thanks! :D
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/575432/ballad-of-the-peacekeepers-sun-of-the-beasts/

 

[Storm_0907]

I WOULD LIKE A REVIEW PLEASE

TWILIGHT MEMORIES - OLD MEMORIES PART 1 | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

IN PM

 

[Jayrayme6]

It'd like a review and/or help to edit my webnovel.
I'd like to know if there are issues.

It's translated from French.

I illustrated it to increase reader's engagement.

The Mad King of the Tree-Men (Illustrated)

The Planet of Anthor is a land where magic is influenced by the plant season cycle of Arbé, Poussé, Germé and Floré Seasons, impacting the lifehood of the Wizards and of the common people. But that year, Poussé Season didn't appear, causing massive droughts. Many accused King Xidor, King of...

www.scribblehub.com

In PM

 

[Zenkarn]

I wouldn't mind a review for The Garbage Gladiator, thanks for doing this for people.

 

[Lire]

Oof, I'm so late to the party...

Please do Glimpse of Eternity and/or An Author's Survival Guide!

Here is fine! Again, please and thank you!