Writing Short flashback of a different character in a 1st person POV

[ForestDweller]

How do you write it? By short, I mean the character musing on a short dialogue they had in the past with another person in their mind. But they don't tell the MC about it. And neither will the other person be identified. It's just a couple lines long.

I don't want to switch the first person to the character's perspective because I don't want the readers to know what's inside their head.

 

[RedPanda]

I would switch to a third person perspective. This way, you can describe the surrounding and feelings of the people without show their thoughts.

 

[ForestDweller]

I would switch to a third person perspective. This way, you can describe the surrounding and feelings of the people without show their thoughts.

Hmm, I suppose I could. Feels awkward though since I've been mostly using first person until now.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

I would switch to a third person perspective. This way, you can describe the surrounding and feelings of the people without show their thoughts.

Yep, this is the most logical step to take. It would be awkward if you try not to show the character's thoughts using first Person POV.

 

[Ral]

This sounds really clumsy to me. You want us to know what this random guy thought about a dialogue (musing about it) but you don't want us to know what they thought about the dialogue (what is inside their head) about it. It is just contradictory.

I guess you want to let readers know what this guy think but not the important parts, not all of it. It sound like you are trying to inject mystery or suspense when there shouldn't be. It is like not describing an important character to create mystery and have a reveal usually as the twist (say this character is an angel all along and all the characters know but we the readers don't because the narration avoid describing the character). It shouldn't be a mystery in the first place. It isn't clever or satisfying and the readers are unlikely to go along with it when the author's machinations is so clumsily obvious. You are Oz and you telling us to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

I have to question if you really need to do this. Is there a really good pay-off especially to the readers? Is there a great defect to the story if you don't do this? Do you even need this to be some mystery at all?

 

[ForestDweller]

have to question if you really need to do this. Is there a really good pay-off especially to the readers? Is there a great defect to the story if you don't do this? Do you even need this to be some mystery at all?

Yes, it does need to be that way. I can't reveal their true identity until much later into the story.

 

[Ral]

Yes, it does need to be that way. I can't reveal their true identity until much later into the story.

I don't mean withholding the character's identity but having this flashback scene where you have be clumsily withholding information. Can't this scene be removed without doing any damage? Would the story be incomprehensible if it is not there? Do you really need it? Or it is just there for the sake of unnecessary suspense and mystery as I'm afraid it would be?

 

[ForestDweller]

I don't mean withholding the character's identity but having this flashback scene where you have be clumsily withholding information. Can't this scene be removed without doing any damage? Would the story be incomprehensible if it is not there? Do you really need it? Or it is just there for the sake of unnecessary suspense and mystery as I'm afraid it would be?

Their character would be less developed without it.

 

[CrusadeAgainstFurries]

Their character would be less developed without it.

Hmm, why don't you instead just do it in a dialogue, where someone else asks the character about his thoughts on that interactions, scene or person?

 

[ForestDweller]

Hmm, why don't you instead just do it in a dialogue, where someone else asks the character about his thoughts on that interactions, scene or person?

I would but there's no reason why they would bring it up, or for the MC to ask them about it.

 

[MajorKerina]

You can do pretty much anything in a story so long as you are willing to sell it to yourself as oh yeah I really want to see it. Something like Game of Thrones when it switches perspective is essentially a first person but without being too limited. Early Jon Snow bits and Bran. The key is you don't get the reader too far ahead of the writing so that when they're returned to their original character, they feel like they're wasting their time till the mc gets up to date.

I did a really cool twist on perspectives even though I used focused third person. The four characters were on separate parts of an RPG map and it was a lead up to them meeting and forming a party. But I threw a curve ball about when everything was occurring and it made readers reconsider if the party actually met before and what was actually going on.

But you need to decide on how you present the new information and how long till the main character knows it too or it can lead readers astray is the new pov makes them think the character is going to murder someone and every chat the main has now carries this concern but then you can twist it around on the reader unexpectedly.

 

[Ral]

Their character would be less developed without it.

Why? How much character development is there in a couple of lines where a character is practically doing nothing? And it is a flashback. How exactly would it result to character development?

I would but there's no reason why they would bring it up, or for the MC to ask them about it.

There isn't any reason why this guy should be musing about a dialogue they have in the past to themselves either. It just happens spontaneously so that the audience could conveniently overhear it.

All this just sounds so inorganic and clumsy to me just to tell the readers something and manipulate them. Why do you need to do this?

 

[ForestDweller]

All this just sounds so inorganic and clumsy to me just to tell the readers something and manipulate them. Why do you need to do this?

Because I want to.

 

[Ral]

Because I want to.

Well, that is actually a good reason.

Kudos.