Should I continue writing poems like these?

Is my Writing any Good?


  • Total voters
    5

SpikeFox87

New member
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
5
Points
3
All That Was Lost
SVH



I'm tired of trying, tired of crying

Deep down inside you knew I've been dying

Im honest with you, I'm not even lying

But my dedication to you was the only thing you're fighting

I loved your face, I loved your laugh

I adored your eyes, how you would look back

Smile, hug, and tell me it's all okay

But suddenly you left me at the end of the day

A final goodbye I hadn't the chance to say

Cause all you were doing was pushing me away

I became your enemy, on you features a snarl

Every single time we talked; a quiet quarrel

I never expected you wanting it this way

Not wanting me to stick around, or to stay

I regret trusting you, I abhor your attitude

Your anger and deception was really quite rude

At the same time, I wanted you to say

Oh, my dear lover, my love towards you isn't a game

I pushed back, I struggled, I raged and I fought

The feelings and emotions and inside that you taught

The tears of misery, the shame on your face

Was all just an act, calling me a waste

I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry to say goodbye

But all in all, you don't care, so why should I?
 

Moshi

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 14, 2019
Messages
85
Points
53
Votes for all three, just because you allowed it
 

Ram5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
63
Points
58
All That Was Lost
SVH



I'm tired of trying, tired of crying

Deep down inside you knew I've been dying

Im honest with you, I'm not even lying

But my dedication to you was the only thing you're fighting

I loved your face, I loved your laugh

I adored your eyes, how you would look back

Smile, hug, and tell me it's all okay

But suddenly you left me at the end of the day

A final goodbye I hadn't the chance to say

Cause all you were doing was pushing me away

I became your enemy, on you features a snarl

Every single time we talked; a quiet quarrel

I never expected you wanting it this way

Not wanting me to stick around, or to stay

I regret trusting you, I abhor your attitude

Your anger and deception was really quite rude

At the same time, I wanted you to say

Oh, my dear lover, my love towards you isn't a game

I pushed back, I struggled, I raged and I fought

The feelings and emotions and inside that you taught

The tears of misery, the shame on your face

Was all just an act, calling me a waste

I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry to say goodbye

But all in all, you don't care, so why should I?
Is this a story?
 
D

Deleted member 22388

Guest
Yeah a true story
Well... I handed you a hello
You don't know me, as I am a stranger
I came and told while also taking my tongue out to say "If you still are feeling sad"
As I took out a necklace four lucky cleaver
"-and remember such dreams,"
Swinging the object left to right to make the
Full 1 oscillation
"-then don't forget because you made"
The swing had stop staying at fixed position
"-What You had felt during those wondeful times"
I made a smile back to show my sincere apology and that
"-Is considered a gem in your heart"
As also in my eyes that shows flow of normality that will dignity itself is that
"-so It's okay..."

With only that sentence stopping there
I wave goodbye as you stare daze to the sky
I pass by because how sad your poem is
Thus leaving you behind after telling all the nonsense I had to say
In order for you to be happy and wash all the negativity away
With my appeared self existence.
 

SushiShon

Active member
Joined
Feb 19, 2020
Messages
3
Points
43
That was an amazing poem. All that was lost...wow, that was unexpected. Amazing
 

FireflyFanatic

Rawr. Trans rights.
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
56
Points
58
That was really good. You've definitely got the potential and the skill to bring together a poem. There's still a few things that threw off the flow of it, but so long as this isn't your last poem, I'm sure you'll keep getting even better at it. Keep at it. Keep writing. You're doing great.
 
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