Writing Show don't tell: Emotions in writing

Taytjie

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A list of showing emotion.

I took this from my tumblr, I will link it if you want to make sure I didn't copy someone else's work.

Embarrassment
  • blushing
  • fidgeting
  • sweating
  • hiding their face in their hands
  • wide eyes
  • crossing their arms around their body
  • stutters
  • stammering
  • shifting their weight from side to side
  • exaggerated movements
  • nervous quirks appear such as picking at their nails, playing with their hair, and rocking on their heels.
  • avoiding eye contact
  • glancing or staring at random objects
  • stiff smiles
  • scratching the back of their head or neck.
  • subject changing
  • forced laughter
Anticipation
  • big smiles
  • wetting their lips
  • energized
  • constant movement
  • grinning
  • can't concentrate
  • clumsiness
  • fidgeting
  • questions
Awe
  • frozen
  • wide eyes
  • slack jaw
  • harsh or erratic breathing
  • grinning
  • staring
Surprise/shock
  • gasping
  • open mouth
  • slack jaw
  • wide eyes
  • covering their mouth with their hands
  • raised eyebrows
  • frozen
  • staring
  • stepping back
  • stutters or stammers
Triumph
  • Tilting back head and yelling out
  • fist pumping in the air
  • Jumping
  • Roaring
  • Whooping
  • laughter
  • bright smiles
  • grinning
Anger/Threatening
  • Shaking fist
  • Pointing
  • crossed arms
  • glares
  • frowning
  • scowling
  • Stabbing with finger
  • Slamming fist against something
  • Veins throbbing
  • Jutting out their chin
  • Clenched fist
  • Clenched jaw
  • flushed face
  • Eyebrows lowered or furrowed
  • squinting
  • Teeth bared
  • Wide stance
  • Tight-lipped smile
  • Rapid breathing
  • Sweating
  • aggressive stance
  • Flared nostrils
  • Puffed chest
  • loud voice
Nervous
  • lip biting
  • biting nails
  • blinking
  • tears
  • stepping back
  • awkward laughter
  • clumsiness
  • dry lips
  • dry mouth
  • fidgeting
  • darting eyes
  • wrapping their arms around themselves
  • repeatedly folding and unfolding their arms
  • clutching at themselves, their hip/shoulder/stomach
  • drawn in/furrowed brows
  • avoiding eye contact
  • jittery
  • pitched voice
  • no appetite or nervous eating so a bigger appetite
  • pacing
  • toying with things
  • restless
  • bouncing leg
  • rubbing at their face
  • scratching
  • sweating trembling
Fear
  • open mouth
  • shaking
  • wide eyes
  • pounding/accelerated heart rate
  • backing away
  • sweating
  • shivering
  • crying
  • mounting panic
  • panic attacks
  • fake smiles
  • jittery
  • trembling
  • hugging themselves
  • goosebumps
  • hands stuffed under armpits
  • freezing
  • disturbed sleep patterns
  • difficulty concentrating
  • dragged breaths
  • shrill/pitched voice
  • trembling lips and/or chin
  • difficulty swallowing
  • rocking
  • dizziness
  • hair lifting (such as by the neck)
  • hunched shoulders
  • shrinking away
  • shrinking into themselves
  • leg muscles tightening
  • gripping things
  • whispering
  • stuttering
  • clinging to someone
  • flinching at nothing/small sounds
  • muttering to themselves
Attraction/love
love is a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Counting on the combination of these three, you will feel a different type of love.
Passion = Infatuated Love
Commitment = Empty Love
Intimacy + Passion = Romantic Love
Intimacy + Commitment = Companionate love
Passion + Commitment = Fatuous Love
Intimacy + Commitment + passion = Full/complete love
Note: there is a lot more to love than this. These are more focused on love with a partner. It's very basic to help with writing.
  • winking
  • looking up through lashes
  • crossing and uncrossing legs
  • stretching
  • flustered
  • lingering hugs
  • eye contact
  • leaning forward
  • unconscious touches
  • tilting head back
  • blushing
  • parted lips
  • licking lips
  • smiling
  • laughing
  • constantly looking for/at their interest
  • turning to face the interest while in a group
  • stuttered and stammers,
  • awkward laughter

Stress
  • racing thoughts
  • biting nails
  • headaches
  • nausea
  • flu
  • anger/angry outbursts
  • can't concentrate
  • irregular sleep patterns
  • jittery
  • sweating
  • lip biting
  • eating problems/ loss of appetite
  • overwhelmed
  • un-social
  • low sex drive
  • forgetfulness
  • procrastinating
  • weight gain
  • constricted/harsh breathing
  • hasty choices
  • sleeps a lot or not enough
  • clumsy
 

Paul_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of a published author
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I think I may save this list for times when I am completely lost as to how to describe someone's attitude.
 

RavenRunes

Filth Wizard
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List too long. Just stick with nodding, sighing, and letting out breaths you didn't know you were holding.
 

MansonFD7

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A list of showing emotion.

I took this from my tumblr, I will link it if you want to make sure I didn't copy someone else's work.

Embarrassment
  • blushing
  • fidgeting
  • sweating
  • hiding their face in their hands
  • wide eyes
  • crossing their arms around their body
  • stutters
  • stammering
  • shifting their weight from side to side
  • exaggerated movements
  • nervous quirks appear such as picking at their nails, playing with their hair, and rocking on their heels.
  • avoiding eye contact
  • glancing or staring at random objects
  • stiff smiles
  • scratching the back of their head or neck.
  • subject changing
  • forced laughter
Anticipation
  • big smiles
  • wetting their lips
  • energized
  • constant movement
  • grinning
  • can't concentrate
  • clumsiness
  • fidgeting
  • questions
Awe
  • frozen
  • wide eyes
  • slack jaw
  • harsh or erratic breathing
  • grinning
  • staring
Surprise/shock
  • gasping
  • open mouth
  • slack jaw
  • wide eyes
  • covering their mouth with their hands
  • raised eyebrows
  • frozen
  • staring
  • stepping back
  • stutters or stammers
Triumph
  • Tilting back head and yelling out
  • fist pumping in the air
  • Jumping
  • Roaring
  • Whooping
  • laughter
  • bright smiles
  • grinning
Anger/Threatening
  • Shaking fist
  • Pointing
  • crossed arms
  • glares
  • frowning
  • scowling
  • Stabbing with finger
  • Slamming fist against something
  • Veins throbbing
  • Jutting out their chin
  • Clenched fist
  • Clenched jaw
  • flushed face
  • Eyebrows lowered or furrowed
  • squinting
  • Teeth bared
  • Wide stance
  • Tight-lipped smile
  • Rapid breathing
  • Sweating
  • aggressive stance
  • Flared nostrils
  • Puffed chest
  • loud voice
Nervous
  • lip biting
  • biting nails
  • blinking
  • tears
  • stepping back
  • awkward laughter
  • clumsiness
  • dry lips
  • dry mouth
  • fidgeting
  • darting eyes
  • wrapping their arms around themselves
  • repeatedly folding and unfolding their arms
  • clutching at themselves, their hip/shoulder/stomach
  • drawn in/furrowed brows
  • avoiding eye contact
  • jittery
  • pitched voice
  • no appetite or nervous eating so a bigger appetite
  • pacing
  • toying with things
  • restless
  • bouncing leg
  • rubbing at their face
  • scratching
  • sweating trembling
Fear
  • open mouth
  • shaking
  • wide eyes
  • pounding/accelerated heart rate
  • backing away
  • sweating
  • shivering
  • crying
  • mounting panic
  • panic attacks
  • fake smiles
  • jittery
  • trembling
  • hugging themselves
  • goosebumps
  • hands stuffed under armpits
  • freezing
  • disturbed sleep patterns
  • difficulty concentrating
  • dragged breaths
  • shrill/pitched voice
  • trembling lips and/or chin
  • difficulty swallowing
  • rocking
  • dizziness
  • hair lifting (such as by the neck)
  • hunched shoulders
  • shrinking away
  • shrinking into themselves
  • leg muscles tightening
  • gripping things
  • whispering
  • stuttering
  • clinging to someone
  • flinching at nothing/small sounds
  • muttering to themselves
Attraction/love
love is a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Counting on the combination of these three, you will feel a different type of love.
Passion = Infatuated Love
Commitment = Empty Love
Intimacy + Passion = Romantic Love
Intimacy + Commitment = Companionate love
Passion + Commitment = Fatuous Love
Intimacy + Commitment + passion = Full/complete love
Note: there is a lot more to love than this. These are more focused on love with a partner. It's very basic to help with writing.
  • winking
  • looking up through lashes
  • crossing and uncrossing legs
  • stretching
  • flustered
  • lingering hugs
  • eye contact
  • leaning forward
  • unconscious touches
  • tilting head back
  • blushing
  • parted lips
  • licking lips
  • smiling
  • laughing
  • constantly looking for/at their interest
  • turning to face the interest while in a group
  • stuttered and stammers,
  • awkward laughter

Stress
  • racing thoughts
  • biting nails
  • headaches
  • nausea
  • flu
  • anger/angry outbursts
  • can't concentrate
  • irregular sleep patterns
  • jittery
  • sweating
  • lip biting
  • eating problems/ loss of appetite
  • overwhelmed
  • un-social
  • low sex drive
  • forgetfulness
  • procrastinating
  • weight gain
  • constricted/harsh breathing
  • hasty choices
  • sleeps a lot or not enough
  • clumsy

I felt like, what most author forget is they're writing a story. And writing is mostly about describing. Henceforth, the readers have differing thought from us as an author in showing/telling the story sequence we've written on. As we couldn't expect the reader to be in line with our thoughts.

For example: writing a story is no differs from searching something on Google. When we're typing words on the bar, the internet will show us various pictures. Even if you try to be as detail as possible on the search bar, the search result will always be randomized, like previously.

(And here goes my horrible suggestion)

If you wish to show over tell, why don't you make a comic instead? Like, adapt your novel into a comic series (Like Webtoon, etc.). So it'll be easier for the reader to understanding the whole context via the entire pictures you've drawn.
 

Cipiteca396

🌺🌑🐉🪶 Anxiety Overdrive
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Messages
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I felt like, what most author forget is they're writing a story. And writing is mostly about describing. Henceforth, the readers have differing thought from us as an author in showing/telling the story sequence we've written on. As we couldn't expect the reader to be in line with our thoughts.

For example: writing a story is no differs from searching something on Google. When we're typing words on the bar, the internet will show us various pictures. Even if you try to be as detail as possible on the search bar, the search result will always be randomized, like previously.

(And here goes my horrible suggestion)

If you wish to show over tell, why don't you make a comic instead? Like, adapt your novel into a comic series (Like Webtoon, etc.). So it'll be easier for the reader to understanding the whole context via the entire pictures you've drawn.
You're right... That was a horrible suggestion. :blob_hide:
Most people can't just pull a comic out of their ass. Even people who are skilled artists can't do it.


You do seem to have misunderstood something though. The point of "show" is to exploit the fact that the reader doesn't get the same mental picture as the author.

If you just write
She was angry.
Then the reader will picture the character in a hundred different modes of 'angry'. That's "Tell".

But if you write
She paced back and forth, spitting out insults and gesturing wildly.
Well... You never used the word 'angry', but it's the one that comes to the reader's mind, no? That's "Show".

Showing isn't always better than telling, but it's always more descriptive. And you yourself said that most of writing is description.
 
D

Deleted member 113259

Guest
Allow me to loosely quote the worst thing youcan be:

"Characters shouldn't say how they're feeling!
That makes me Angry!" -ROBOT DEVIL
 

Stealthy_Enigma

(❀⁠≽ᆺ≼)⊃~~~~✧ ꧁Floofy Ninja!!!꧂
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Messages
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Points
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Wrong thread. XD
It should work anyways. It is all the different kinds of dialogue words you can use like screamed, advised, babbled, etc.

Is it your dream, your fantasy, to write a bestseller? Do you have a story in your head, but the word "said" keeps getting in the way? If we write, then somewhere along the line we'll run into the word "said," one of the most common dialogue tags. But what is a dialogue tag, you ask?

What Is a Dialogue Tag?

In writing, a dialogue tag is a group of words that follow a line of speech. They provide information about the words between the quotation marks, such as

• who is speaking (he, she, they, Danny, Lucy)

• at what volume (shouted, yelled, whispered)

• in what tone (moaned, babbled, howled)

By using dialogue tags, writers are able to explain to readers the way in which their characters are speaking and the emotions that should be inferred from the inflection of their words.

Is It Okay to Repeat "He Said, She Said" When Writing Dialogue?

Repeating "he said, she said," can get annoying, but is it smart to use a different verb? There are abundant words to use instead, yet purists believe you're probably best not using them since readers pay such little attention to "said" it effectively becomes invisible.

A good practice to follow is that when it’s clear who is speaking the line of dialogue, you can remove the verb completely. It's surprising how much more professional your work will look if you do. In fact, let's make a rule: if it's obvious who's speaking, don't use a dialogue tag.

You should only substitute "said" if the line of dialogue needs accentuation or to convey the way the words are expressed. Gorging your story with alternative words for "said" makes your work look amateurish, so be sure to use alternatives with moderation.

Synonyms for "Say"

Verbs that mean the same thing as "say."

speak

utter

voice

pronounce

declare

state

announce

remark

observe

mention

comment

note

reply

answer

assert

suggest

intone

express

mention

communicate

aver

verbalize

disclose

respond

Other Words for "Said," by Emotion

Sometimes you need to indicate who's speaking, but the word "said" doesn't quite do the job. If you’re struggling to find that elusive and perfect substitute, here’s a list of words (categorized by emotion) that might help.

Said With Acceptance

Accepted, acknowledged, admitted, affirmed, agreed, assumed, conferred, confessed, confirmed, justified, settled, understood, undertook, verified.

Said in Anger

Accused, barked, bellowed, bossed, carped, censured, condemned, criticized, demanded, fumed, gawped, glowered, growled, grumbled, hissed ordered, raged, remonstrated, reprimanded, retorted, scoffed, scolded, seethed, snapped, snarled, ticked off, told off, upbraided.

Said Contemplatively

Contemplated, mused, pondered.

Said With Conviction

Addressed, advertised, articulated, bragged, commanded, confided, decided, dictated, ended, exacted, finished, informed, made known, maintained, necessitated, pointed out, promised, reassured, remarked, repeated, reported, specified, stated, told.

Said With Desire

Attracted, requested, wanted.

Said With Excitement

Babbled, beamed, blurted, broadcasted, burst, cheered, chortled, chuckled, cried out, crooned, crowed, declared, emitted, exclaimed, giggled, hollered, howled, interjected, jabbered, laughed, praised, preached, presented, proclaimed, professed, promulgated, quaked, ranted, rejoiced, roared, screamed, shouted, shrieked, swore, thundered, trilled, trumpeted, vociferated, wailed, yawped, yelled, yelped, yowled.

Said Fearfully

Cautioned, shuddered, trembled, warned.

Said Generously

Comforted, consoled, empathized, invited, offered, proffered, released, volunteered.

Said Persuasively

Advised, alleged, appealed, asserted, assured, avered, avowed, beckoned, begged, beseeched, cajoled, claimed, conceded, concluded, concurred, contended, defended, disposed, encouraged, entreated, held, hinted, implied, implored, importuned, inclined, indicated, insisted, pleaded, postulated, premised, presupposed, protested, stressed, suggested, touted, urged, vouched for, wheedled.

Said With Pride

Chimed in, circulated, disseminated, distributed, expressed, grinned, made public, passed on, publicized, published, put forth, put out, quipped, quizzed, quoted, reckoned that, required, requisitioned, taunted, teased.

Said Provocatively

Exposed, imitated, joked, leered, lied, mimicked, mocked, provoked.

Said in Sadness

Agonized, bawled, blubbered, grieved, groaned, lamented, mewled, mourned, puled, sobbed, wept.

Said to Tell a Story

Announced, answered, began, called, commented, continued, denoted, disclosed, divulged, explained, imparted, noted, observed, proposed, rejoined, replied, revealed, shared, solicited, sought, testified, transferred, transmitted, went on.

Said Uncertainly

Asked, doubted, faltered, fretted, guessed, hesitated, hypothesized, inquired, lilted, quavered, queried, questioned, shrugged, speculated, stammered, stuttered, supposed, trailed off, wondered.

Words That Indicate How Words Were Said

Breathed, choked, croaked, drawled, echoed, grunted, keened, moaned, mumbled, murmured, panted, sang, sniffled, sniveled, snorted, spluttered, squeaked, uttered, voiced, whimpered, whined, whispered.

Other Words for "Asked"

When writing an inquisitive character, sometimes the standard "asked" can become a bit stale. Try using these alternatives when you want to add some variety to your dialogue.

Alternative words for "asked."

Appealed

Begged

Beseeched

Contended

Entreated

Inclined

Insisted

Pleaded

Probed

Prodded

Protested

Cajoled

Stressed

Doubted

Faltered

Guessed

Hesitated

Hypothesized

Inquired

Lilted

Quavered

Queried

Questioned

Wondered

Other Words for "Stated"

Instead of repeatedly using stated to express the way in which a character delivers their words, try using one of these more descriptive alternatives.

Alternative words for "stated."

Asserted

Concluded

Explained

Noted

Remarked

Reported

Specified

Told

Adverbs and Phrases to Explain How Something Was Said

Okay, so despite the warning, you’ve decided you really need to use an alternate word for "said." In order to make your writing absolutely zing, you might want to go whole-hog and add an adverb or a phrase to convey or emphasize exactly how the line of dialogue was spoken.

An adverb is a word ending in -ly that modifies a verb.

The way it works is you choose whichever word for "said" you fancy from the list above, then add an adverb or phrase after it from the list below. For example, "She promised, with a controlled smile," or "He remarked, with a gloomy sigh." But do not overdo it. Be very careful not to end up sounding amateurish.

List of Adverbs for Dialogue

• Abruptly, Absently, Acidly, Angrily, Apologetically, Approvingly, Artfully

• Bemusedly, Begrudgingly, Badly, Beautifully, Believably

• Calmly, Caustically, Cheerfully, Complacently, Crossly

• Daintily, Daringly, Depressingly, Dryly

• Earnestly, Ebulliently, Egotistically, Enthusiastically

• Gallantly, Gently, Giddily, Gruffly

• Haltingly, Happily, Hastily, Hotly

• Impatiently, Indulgently, Innocently, Irritably

• Lamely, Lasciviously, Loftily, Loudly

• Mildly, Maliciously, Masterfully, Merrily, Mindlessly

• Naively, Naturally, Negatively, Noncommittally

• Obnoxiously, Offhandedly, Optimistically

• Pleasantly, Politely, Playfully, Perceptively, Pleadingly

• Quaintly, Quietly, Quickly, Queasily, Queerly

• Rakishly, Reflectively, Roughly, Rudely

• Sadly, Sympathetically, Sarcastically, Sincerely, Smugly, Soberly, Softly, Sparingly, Sternly

• Tartly, Tautly, Teasingly, Tightly, Truthfully, Thoughtfully

• Uncertainly, Unexpectedly, Urgently

• Vaguely, Vapidly, Vehemently

• Warmly, Wisely, Wordlessly, Wryly

• Xenophobically

• Yearningly, Yieldingly

• Zealously, Zestily

List of Phrases for Dialogue

"She said in a..."

casual voice, chiding tone, courteous manner, curious tenor, dry tone, flirtatious way, level voice, perpetually tired voice, rasping tone, small panicky voice, soothing pitch, voice soft with affection.

"She said with a..."

controlled smile, fond look, gloomy sigh, note of relief, sad grimace, tense smile, sense of guilt, sigh of irritation, burgeoning excitement.

"She said with..."

conviction, determination, fire, persistence, gentle remonstrance, graceful simplicity, mock astonishment, pleasure, quiet empathy, simple directness.

Other Phrases to Modify "Said"

• After a moment's reflection

• With false cheerfulness

• In a friendly fashion

• In quiet amazement

• Making the effort to sound reassuring

• Meaning the words more seriously than they sounded

• Sounding slightly brittle

How to Show Emotion Through Actions Instead of Adverbs

Since the use of adverbs can often make a writer look amateurish, many choose to use actions instead of adverbs to express emotion. For example, take the scenario below in which a man is feeling frustrated and angry upon learning that his girlfriend has been unfaithful. In the first example, adverbs are used. In the second, actions.

With adverbs:

"Where were you all night?" he asked.

"I was with someone else," she mumbled nervously.

"Someone else?" he boomed violently. "Someone else?"

With actions:

"Where were you all night?" he asked.

"I was with someone else," she replied, eyes downcast, fiddling with her fingernails.

"Someone else?" he said, slamming the table with his fist. "Someone else?"

It's easy to see that in most exchanges of dialogue, less is more. Let your reader imagine the emotions the characters are feeling by interpreting actions rather than by naming those emotions outright.
 

Cipiteca396

🌺🌑🐉🪶 Anxiety Overdrive
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No guys listen, this thread is almost a year old. Start a new one or a private conversation instead.
 
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