Adverbs are out of styleHe heard his bones audibly crunch within his flesh as Brandon slammed his foot against his arm.
Not if I make it stylishAdverbs are out of style
I think it depends on the situation which of the two you should use.Sometimes, leaving sound effects to the readers is the best way to go. Purposefully putting sound effects to words just seems cartoonish.
To put it in perspective here's two examples:
CRUNCH! His bones broke as Brandon slammed his foot against his arm.
He heard his bones audibly crunch within his flesh as Brandon slammed his foot against his arm.
You be the judge of the two.
Now to the OP... don't ever use KaplowPersonally, I use a good old
*KAPLOW!*
to show important
Thank you for the awesome examples!I rarely do but if I do it's to emphasize something, be it an event, attack, movement or else.
She lowered the blades close to the ground and checked something before nodding to herself. Miria then placed the extended shortswords above her head and smiled at Asterios. After that, she made a graceful aerial cartwheel.
*SWOOSH*
During the movement, she swiftly rotated her makeshift, double-bladed weaponYellow aura covers the steel aegis, creating an additional layer of protection. The monster crashes into it with ridiculous force.
*HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG*
When its fist lands on the shield, a loud, metallic clang fills up the air, as if someone had just hit a huge bell, and a shockwave follows. I’m pushed back by a few centimetres, leaving trails with my boots in the ground.Vanessa-san expression changes and she nods, clearly understanding what we meant. “I see. You certainly are right. Let’s wrap those carcasses up and have a pleasant chat in—”
*CRACK*
*BOOM*
*CRACK* *CRACK*
*BOOM*
The sound of trees creaking and breaking under the pressure of something heavy arrives at our spot from the west. Everyone turns towards the source and gazes intently into the woods, noticing how flocks of birds fly into the air in the distance. We begin hearing heavy thumps and soon, the last trees blocking our vision fall, revealing the weighty entity.Everyone else quickly sidestepped in anticipation of something happening from the place they were all looking at, and less than a second later the supposed pillar broke off the wall and flew towards the only man in the group with an incredible speed. Fortunately, Selene managed to push him out of its path, falling to the ground together.
*SHHIIIIIIIINNNGGG*
The mysterious attacker passed them with a loud whistle of air and whizz of stone flooring being cut. It left a shallow but long line in the ground, from one side of the chamber to the other, where it landed after its lunge.
Another awesome example, Thank You!I think it can work if you want to have the reader understand what was going on but decouple the act from the narrator as much as you can. A small half-baked example:
Take 1:
Tommy went out of the bar, leaving the two inside. He lit a cigarette, took a long puff and then heard the sound of a gun going off.
Moments later, Frankie came out.
Take 2:
Tommy went out of the bar, leaving the two inside. He lit a cigarette and took a long puff.
*BANG*
Moments later, Frankie came out.
Whenever I want to emphasise speed, I also use onomatopoeiae:
She swung the sabre at me fast.
*WHISH*
She swung the saber at me.
What I avoid with a ten foot pole, is describing the sound I used when it's obvious what it is
Not this:
*creak*
Loud cracking was heard from the door as I opened it.
Better, but still not quite
The door opened with a *creak*
This:
Loud cracking was heard from the door as I opened it.
Or:
*creak*
'I should oil this door', was what I was thinking as I opened it
Personally, I always found them more invasive than supportive. But it's just my style. I did use some less disturbing ones in one chapter in the past but never did it again. Sensual description is kind off better in my eyes.Another idea I got, is to use sounds for the lewds
I hope I don't get banned for this)
*splat splat splat splat splat splat*
*Knock knock*Now to the OP... don't ever use Kaplow
I love this!*Knock knock*
You hear a knock on your door. Not your front door, but the door to your room.
It's quite concerning, since you live alone.
*Badump*
*Badump*
With shaking fingers, you slowly walk over and holster the door knob.
Taking a deep breath, you twist the handle.
*Click*
Opening the door, you stare into the darkness.
Then you see me.
Wielding nothing but my hatred and these hands, I take a step towards you.
Before you're even able to breathe, I teleport in front of you, my fist already making contact with your skull.
*Kaplow!*
As you brains fall to the floor, you can't help but wish you made a different choice.
END