stupid, fucked-up, borderline criminal Valentine Pick Up Lines™

BenJepheneT

might as well JUMP™ < go ahead and JUMP™
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
739
Points
93
Alright kids, gather round' here, Uncle 'Tard only have about 5 minutes before the bleeping thing on my ankle alerts the darn coppers of my escape again. They won't let me within 5 mile radius within children your age but what do they know, eh?

So, it's Valentine's Day. The one day where the collective population temporarily becomes Doomers and Doomrettes, and couples become what we shall now deem as insufferable Normies™.

Uncle 'Tard's gonna give you the best pick-up lines so you can either join the ranks of the Normies™ or stay as your Doomer state forever. For this one day, you get to verbally harass women and women can make men create suicide pacts of lonesomeness.

Sorry girls, these lines are specifically for the frankfurters' use but do contribute if you got some sick lines that makes our telephone poles grow.
 

BenJepheneT

might as well JUMP™ < go ahead and JUMP™
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
739
Points
93
Hey girl, are you a bakery, cause you're gonna get bred

Hey girl, are you a water park, cause I wanna slide inside you

Hey girl, are you sandpaper? Cause I'll let you grind me fine

Hey girl, you make me a stormtrooper, cause I know I'll be missing you lots

hey girl, are you Easter Holiday? Cause we gotta fill those eggs up

hey girl, are you a nursery, cause I wanna put some- GET ON THE GROUND NOW
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Elegant Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
252
Points
63
These jokes build up over time and he needs catharsis from the constant tension of keeping them to himself. That's why this thread exists.

About a week ago I posted 1 long and 2 short messages in quick succession. A few minutes later I found that my pasts had all been merged together into 1 horribly long post. I think this is a new site feature and it's kinda stupid since my posts were all different topics specifically addressing different people and suddenly the all got squashed together.
 

AliceShiki

Magical Girl of Love and Justice
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
232
Points
63
These jokes build up over time and he needs catharsis from the constant tension of keeping them to himself. That's why this thread exists.

About a week ago I posted 1 long and 2 short messages in quick succession. A few minutes later I found that my pasts had all been merged together into 1 horribly long post. I think this is a new site feature and it's kinda stupid since my posts were all different topics specifically addressing different people and suddenly the all got squashed together.
It's not a new feature, that's me reporting your posts and asking the mods to merge them~

You should use only one post to reply to multiple people, it's why the multi-quote function exists~
 

NotaNuffian

Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
48
Points
8
Hey girl, is your name Harley? Cuz I'll be riding you through the city tonight.

*Jokes is that I have no bike riding license and doing it everywhere in town sounds as pleasant as it is.
 

BenJepheneT

might as well JUMP™ < go ahead and JUMP™
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
739
Points
93
C'mon Ben, there are better ways to farm message count than to spam the same thread like that~
Anything for clout my dear

It's not a new feature, that's me reporting your posts and asking the mods to merge them~

You should use only one post to reply to multiple people, it's why the multi-quote function exists~
Whaaaat?
 

CupcakeNinja

NTR Deity
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
216
Points
63
So, kids, i hear you only have a few months to live. Why don't we make that minutes? Cuz I'm a necrophiliac

*takes a whiff* you smell like breeding season.

Say yes now and i wont have to spike your drink.

I want to floss with your pubic hair. Let me know when they start growing in
 

AliceShiki

Magical Girl of Love and Justice
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
232
Points
63
Hey girl, are you a bakery, cause you're gonna get bred

Hey girl, are you a water park, cause I wanna slide inside you

Hey girl, are you sandpaper? Cause I'll let you grind me fine

Hey girl, you make me a stormtrooper, cause I know I'll be missing you lots

hey girl, are you Easter Holiday? Cause we gotta fill those eggs up

hey girl, are you a nursery, cause I wanna put some-
GET ON THE GROUND NOW
See? It looks much cleaner now~
 

BenJepheneT

might as well JUMP™ < go ahead and JUMP™
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
739
Points
93
See? It looks much cleaner now~
Thank you CEO of Internet Forums™, we will now follow under your iron-fisted rule of web discipline, all the replies in one post, and PyongYang.

Tell your uncle I said good luck.

Ahh, a celebration of sorts. I won’t be doing anything special. Just another workday.
It is also another day where you can install Heroes: Might and Magic V and experience the quintessential collection of the famed turn-based strategy war simulator, set in the olden days of NatGeo Plague Week™, developed by only the top Dev team of Westboro, Siberia.
 

Yorda

Villainess Yorda the Elegant Flower of Evil
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
Messages
252
Points
63
It's not a new feature, that's me reporting your posts and asking the mods to merge them~

You should use only one post to reply to multiple people, it's why the multi-quote function exists~
I disagree. I think that if I am specifically replying to different people I should use different posts because what happened is that my different posts all merged together into a huge post that was 70-80% not relevant to each person who I was replying to. Nobody wants to read through a lot of irrelevant data in search of the parts that might be relevant to them. Ben's messages could have been merged because they were all the same type and topic, but for me your merge made it a slog to read. For example, you posted on this thread 3 times for 3 different reasons, why should I not report you and have them all merged? Because it would be a stupid mess.
 

AliceShiki

Magical Girl of Love and Justice
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
232
Points
63
I disagree. I think that if I am specifically replying to different people I should use different posts because what happened is that my different posts all merged together into a huge post that was 70-80% not relevant to each person who I was replying to. Nobody wants to read through a lot of irrelevant data in search of the parts that might be relevant to them. Ben's messages could have been merged because they were all the same type and topic, but for me your merge made it a slog to read. For example, you posted on this thread 3 times for 3 different reasons, why should I not report you and have them all merged? Because it would be a stupid mess.
The reason my posts weren't merged were because they were not one right after the other, that's all there is to it.

You don't need to make multiple posts to reply to multiple people... If they think it's too much of a bother to scroll to the part replying to them, they can just ctrl + f to reach it... >.>

It just makes things cleaner and more organized and easier to scroll through if people aren't double or triple posting.
 
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