Suggest edits for my novel (Synopsis and Chapter 1)

Overlord_Venus

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Mar 6, 2020
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Please have a read and tell me your suggestions on the changes I should make. I am planning on editing my chapters, so your inputs will be helpful.

Title: The Changeling
Link
Synopsis:
What happens when the human race turns small, small enough to become buddies with butterflies?

Our protagonist finds himself within a cotton fibre, one that was large enough to blanket the skies. His wife that was within arm’s reach a minute ago had now disappeared.

Embarking on a journey to reunite with his wife and one-year-old son, our protagonist arrives at the edge of a cliff. But, the landscape he presumed to be a cliff actually turned out to be the edge of his couch. He had shrunk to such an extent that his TV remote looked bigger than him.

Things that were taken for granted before now necessitated life and death struggles as our protagonist searches for his family while trying to survive the onslaught of various insects, each of which were now as huge as him.

Chapter 1: Link
 

Sandycat135

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Mar 21, 2020
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It's interesting enough, although I think proofreading, and repeatly smushing the text in grammarly would help a lot. I would suggest trying to make it 'flow', but just mostly at the start
The rest is great, just the opening is a tiny bit bland.
I am in no means a professional, so please take my ideas with a grain of salt. Right now, I'm mostly just paraphrasing sentences from actual professionals.
Perhaps try planning out your world, and changing it to have the most effective way to tell the idea you want to tell.
Adverbs are great

I really do like the description later on in the chapter.
(Edit: Wait, 68 chapters? Wow.)
 
Last edited:

Overlord_Venus

Active member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
14
Points
43
It's interesting enough, although I think proofreading, and repeatly smushing the text in grammarly would help a lot. I would suggest trying to make it 'flow', but just mostly at the start
The rest is great, just the opening is a tiny bit bland.
I am in no means a professional, so please take my ideas with a grain of salt. Right now, I'm mostly just paraphrasing sentences from actual professionals.
Perhaps try planning out your world, and changing it to have the most effective way to tell the idea you want to tell.
Adverbs are great

I really do like the description later on in the chapter.
(Edit: Wait, 68 chapters? Wow.)
I have just begun to edit after completing my volume 1. I wrote Chapter 1 a long time ago and am now fixing it. And hence this thread. I appreciate you taking your time to tell me. Super thanks~
 
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