it's kind of weird. I mean just look at it's not really some great website. It's mostly smut but somehow people are afraid to taint the sanctity of this place.
As if somehow describing your weird dream you had about repeating everything each day would be somehow less valid than asking "how to write wholesome harem".
To encourage people to not feel shy and monologue infront of the void. I am taking the first step and giving a example of what i am talking about.
oh this reminds me of my dementia existential crisis but it was well less hypothetical. Cause we forget what are thinking and what our thoughts are every-time. I thought of our brain as having small circuits which when they activate thoughts are produced.
Like whatever thought we are having is made from a specefic type of circuit of neurons activating in our brain.
Now what our current worries and desires are result of circuits. Our personality is made of circuits. Now as we age our desires worries thoughts change.
Like for example problems related to synchrocinity get one circuit. Problems related to what we can know for certain gets another circuit.
Now as we age we stop thinking about these problems and get new problems to think about.
So now the circuits which made our old problems never activate again .
So if the circuits which controlled our personality and behaviour months ago never activate again or only activate occasionally then we are effcetively dead.
(cause we never think about these problems and forget them)
I mean when we are dead the circuits which made us stop activating.
Now if the circuit which made us few months ago stops activating then also we are basically dead.
Atleast some part of us died.
but what if we remember what we were thinking about and those circuits activate again . Like few years down the line we are going to think of the same problem again so our same circuits activated again.
So that means the me one month did not die right.
but the problem with that is.
a person is going to spend a very small time thinking about that problem.
So lets say those circuits activate 20 times in life of a person for 30 minutes each over a time period of 80 years.
then that person only lived for 10 hours in his whole life.
so we are constantly forgetting and dying.
New circuits are formed at there place. New circuits overwrite them . Even if they don't these old circuits are forgotten to never be used.
If they never activate again they might as well be dead. Now most of our "conscious" non instinctive behaviour is dictated by our worries ideals and desires. Of course we always stop thinking and watch youtube but when we are actually in control of our self and thinking about stuff we are activating these circuits. We change these circuits as we get new conclusions. So these circuits make us.
Now if these circuits were to never activate again cause our desires changed. Then these circuits are dead. So us of that time is also dead.
Even if these circuits remain
Only base impulses and habbits which aren't really part of us but things our body desires remains. like TV or food or other random shit which we don't really wanna care about but still
do.
so anything which you associate with yourself keeps dying and only few base impulses which dictate your action have survived till childhood. (example when you were 12 you wanted to stab
your bully and watched those shitty memes. When you are 16 you still want to stab the guy bullying you and are still watching those shitty memes)
any great realization or something which you consider part of yourself would eventually be forgotten and dead.
I mean just ask yourself from the starting of march what realization about the world or yourself do you rememember.
I mean clearly a person can't go a month without having a life changing thought. so you must have stumbled upon something .
Some circuits formed in your mind and activated.
but then life moved on those circuits got silent and then died.
The part of you which was made and changed that day is dead.
I mean can you really rememember the worries(normal stuff and both existential stuff) which defined your actions in september. You probably got answers to them but nothing of that remains.
Just try holding on to one thought which doesn't appear daily in your life. And see how much of it's detail you can rememember.
example i rememembered "I tend to put thoughts in to boxes and label them more than i actually should. I don't treat stuff equally but treat them based on what box i put them too"
It was along this line but i can't remember it fully in detail. The neurons which lead to that thought and the circuits which formed after that thought have changed and are probably forgotten.
We all are constantly suffering from dementia (it's just cause everyone has it no one notices it) and are unable to change and act logical.
Whenever you watch youtube a haze covers your mind and you can't remember the thoughts which you had some days before which logically convinced you that you should stop using youtube.
it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.(someome insane probably) jiddu krishnamurti
Seriously people post away. It's scribblehub no one is going to call you edgy or think you are weird. I know you have something very "weird" to say but are not saying it. Like come on everyone feels urge to ramble
Like seriously think for a second. What you say doesn't need to be a great music video with perfect art and vocals or lengthy novels with themes. Or a well constructed essay which cites it's sources and adresses all counter arguments.
That's all the things you write for benefit of others to explain your view or because you are a artist and feel the itch too.
But you write your thoughts for yourself and Let me tell you . (You definitely feel a need to tell them to someone but don't feel up to explaining what you meant and think they would be forgoteen a moment later anyway.) So you just stay silent for your life and then you die.
Here your thoughts are preserved till the forum shuts down. Where no one cares enough to think you are weird {dude it's scribblehub 80% smut by volume. Who do you think your target audience is here}but there is a good chance someone read your thoughts.
I mean just say something. I refuse to believe you don't have something important to say about something you once cared about which you haven't said yet but want to.
Look at this way. Some guy thought that consciousness and quantum mechanics are interrelated. When a conscious person looks at something it becomes real. That's not how it works. That's not what constitutes as a "observation" most physicist would agree with this statement.
He was infinitely far away from truth like everyone else but at-least he said it. Some physicist probably still believe it. Atleast when you say something you get "I agree with you" OR " You are full of shit and i am going to spend 2 years debunking exactly why are you full of shit. Here is my explanation" You get agreement or information.
Come on you should at-least try it once.
You may like it.
Seriously tell me are you going to go your whole life without telling me about that weird complex you had as a child or why you use tapus or why you believe this really weird thing which no one believes.
Or how exactly does your extremely niche fear keep you up at night. Or how you wasted months of your life thinking about a hypothetical scenario which won't ever come to frustration.
Your absurd daydreams.
Your ruminations
I mean come on seriously.
as another example it has been 42 minutes so someone is going to make a post just now.
1/2 of people here probably have no idea what i am talking about and other half is just going. Yup this is exactly what i feel.
If not 1/2 then atleast 1/10 people are probably realating to this on a spiritual level.
Cause as the inverse of you are not special or unique and there are many people like you
means
There is someone who understands you exactly and perfectly.
but you have never met him cause he is like you and hence doesn't talk about stuff he cares about.
If you never have a deep conversation how would you enjoy the benefits of not being unique
So you somehow become lonely despite being a clear majority of the population.
like seriously a fear of being called cringe by idiots is all it takes . Why dude . Why.
Seriously you have postpooned that rant about that really fucked up thing you saw 2 months before .
EDIt:
I was giving examples in general encouraging others to post. They don't apply to me nor are they related to my personal experience cause i talk and post bout what i want to talk about (well mostly ). Just open my other profile. Well ok I think two examples are personal experiences rest are speculation on what others may think.
