Tell not show

[Agentt]

Soo....
Show, not tell

Is a famous tip to give to people here.
Like, everyone knows it, if they don't, we have plenty of people to inform them of this marvelous fact.

It's almost the basic foundation of any screenwriting.



However, lately, I have been seeing some authors who are a bit too leaned on in the show part.

Show, not tell
We assume that the person hasn't been following this. What I mean is, this advice is relative, and not absolute.

It's like saying, "Drive slower around schools."
I am assuming your normal speed is like 40mph/60kmph(I don't know how maths work)

You need not follow this if your normal speed is already like 5mph/15kmph.

Notice I say need not? I mean, of course you did, I specifically underlined it to make you notice it.

It's like perfume, sure, you can apply it 24/7, but you need not. You can just apply it whenever necessary.

So, every story, and every scene requires a balance between show and tell.

Take a look at an example,
Let's say you were writing a cooking novel, Food Wars type.
MC has left his dorm for the first day at academy.

Which one of these fit better in this scenario?

Spoiler: Tell, not show

I walked to the academy as fast as I could.

Or~~

Spoiler: Show not tell

I walked down the stairs, filled with enthusiasm and excitement for the new day. A new life even. Sun shone brightly and the skies were clear, a beautiful hue of blue, deep and mesmerising. Every step I take reminds me that this isn't a dream, and I simply couldn't help but giggle at fate.

It was still about half an hour before the lessons start, but I wanted to go there early just in case.

In between of the garden, I saw the old gardener, Simon hunched on his back. It was still spring, so the patch was barren other than the few sproutings here and there.
"Hello there uncle," I waved at him with a gleeful smile.
He turned around, and was equally happy to see me, "Oh! MC kun, how nice to see you. Isn't it too early though?"
Uncle Simon was a man in his forties, but he was still in incredible shape, with a body that could surely tear down a tree without needing an axe.
He was wearing a white tank top, which had started to become yellow, and wore blue jorts, shabbily made. Knowing uncle Simon, he probably tore the cloth with his own hands, finding using scissors to be too troublesome.
"Ah, yes, but I was actually to excited to stay in my room, so..."
My voice trailed at the end, but it seemed uncle Simon understood,
"It really is nice to be young. You remind me of my first visit to my in laws. I was too nervous to even sleep. Kept tossing and turning the entire time."

-To be continued

Alright, so,
Second option is very beautiful, I admit.
It creates a vivid image, increases immersivness, and is just so relaxing.

But, just like perfume, ask yourself,
"Do you really want this much vividness, throughout the work?"

Like, use such effort when the actual cooking takes place, sure.
Use those big words and open your thesaurus and just those metaphors you learnt while doing your masters.

But, you need not.

I mean, if you wanna, sure.
But it will lead in a cooking novel in which cooking hasn't happened yet and reader is like 5 chapters in.
Not to mention, it's also exhausting.

Like, soooo exhausting!

You will find yourself to run out of words.
[The sky is beautiful, it looks marvelous, the clouds have this wonderfully amusing shape]
And there, I have run out of all words I know.
If I were to continue now, it would be,
[And the colour as the sun sets is simply wonderful. The nearby fountain reflects its and the ripples form a marvelous piece of art. As I walked by, I saw some marvelous children who were very wonderful and marvelously played football while amusing themselves]

.....okay, no i think this one is a me problem....


But anyhow, many authors prefer to have a slow start.
Like, we all are pretty much desensitized by the isekai where MC kills a bear in the first chapter, so yes, we all appreciate a slow isekai. So..

Like, do you.
This isn't to tell you to do absolutely this. Experiment and learn, and just keep in mind show isn't the only tool you have

 

[SailusGebel]

 

[Deleted member 54065]

I combine Show and Tell, because not everything in my story is worth showing. I mean, I only 'show' the parts where I wanted to elicit emotions from my readers, while 'tell' the scenes just to create consistency and a flowing narrative. That's why, most of my chapters (main) got around 4k words. And considering that it's a high fantasy, I need to build the atmosphere in each scene for better reader experience.

 

[CarburetorThompson]

I’ll admit I like writing long creative descriptions. To limit myself I try to only do it for establishing a new character, environment, or information.

 

[JohnDoe9838]

I remember in John Wick how the Russian guy (I think he was Russian)... whatever, instead of showing us Wick's past, the Russian guy tells us about it, while we are shown how the man starts pulling out all his guns and ammo hidden in his house. In that case, the act of telling us (albeit showing us a bit of Wick's actions) serves to build hype. It's like the story is telling us "Get ready to see a lot of action." It also lets us see Wick as a total badass.
It also serves in case they ever want to do a prequel telling us about Wick's past as such, again, building hype.
I think having shown us little flashbacks or something about what Wick did wouldn't have been as effective as just telling us, although it would have worked too.
I agree with you, it's not an absolute rule to show and not tell.

I’ll admit I like writing long creative descriptions. To limit myself I try to only do for it establishing a new character, environment, or information.

This also depends on the taste of each reader. Some people love to read those descriptions, even if they are not strictly necessary for the plot. They help to immerse the reader in the world, in a way.
Although yes, there are times when people go a bit overboard with it and there's no action at all, or they totally interrupt the action, just describing how nice a piece of architecture is for seven paragraphs. Again, sometimes I like reading that, other times it puts me off.

 

[TotallyHuman]

I tell, tell and tell in some places because I write in 1st pov and I want to give the impression that my mc is overly fixated on certain things and keeps waxing over them to an uncomfortable degree. I can't say I've been successful in giving such an impression, if I am to be honest, but I believe its good to try different things.
As for your examples, I'd say the first gives a better impression that the character is in a hurry. When have you seen somebody in a hurry try to look around, appreciate the muscles of the gardener and talk them up a bit? Well, you probably have, but you wouldn't expect to do that in a situation when you are in a hurry? That seems to be the exact opposite of this dogma.
Chekhov did a better example of what show, don't tell means, when he said "don't tell the moon was out, show its light reflecting off the silver cup" or something like that. And this approach indeed is supposed to immerse he reader into the setting.
I also don't really see how *telling* that the sky, the clouds and the children were beautiful is supposed to be "showing".

 

[MissPaige36]

Like, we all are pretty much desensitized by the isekai where MC kills a bear in the first chapter, so yes, we all appreciate a slow isekai. So..

Like, do you.
This isn't to tell you to do absolutely this. Experiment and learn, and just keep in mind show isn't the only tool you have

I do a bit of both, or at least I think i do? But I agree, sometimes it’s not great to always show. Especially in fighting scenes! You need it to go quick and snappy, not pause to describe the opponents looks and hair!

 

[Zirrboy]

But like "drive slower around schools" it has its justification.
Because most people drive 40mph rather than 5 and those who do know it's not directed at them.

 

[Agentt]

But like "drive slower around schools" it has its justification.
Because most people drive 40mph rather than 5 and those who do know it's not directed at them.

Indeed, same with this, show not tell is only directed towards people who tell too much

I also don't really see how *telling* that the sky, the clouds and the children were beautiful is supposed to be "showing".

Indeed, which is why it ended up with

.....okay, no i think this one is a me problem....

 

[longer]

Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I feel that some "show not tell" people are serious hypocrites. I remember Attack on Titan's first season that some people would bitch to no end about the lack of logic in certain matters, like the nature of the walls. Similar thing happens in fantasy works where the world is not completely introduced at the beginning and some readers want to be given a complete history and ruleset for the world so they know what they're working with, similar to a power gamer.

What do they want? A giant infodump that immediately explains the whole world to them while spoiling a bunch of important information. Can't wait for the show, must be told everything.

 

[Agentt]

Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I feel that some "show not tell" people are serious hypocrites. I remember Attack on Titan's first season that some people would bitch to no end about the lack of logic in certain matters, like the nature of the walls. Similar thing happens in fantasy works where the world is not completely introduced at the beginning and some readers want to be given a complete history and ruleset for the world so they know what they're working with, similar to a power gamer.

What do they want? A giant infodump that immediately explains the whole world to them while spoiling a bunch of important information. Can't wait for the show, must be told everything.

That's actually true. It's something we really talk about, some readers are annoying like that.

 

[AKnightWithaKnife]

the show not tell rule is mainly used to combat 1st person writing habits. You mainly use the show not tell for set up not for action or scenes of great importance. if your story only has one type of writing it may be hard to give your readers set patterns or expectations to follow in you story

 

[Ai-chan]

Soo....
Show, not tell

Is a famous tip to give to people here.
Like, everyone knows it, if they don't, we have plenty of people to inform them of this marvelous fact.

It's almost the basic foundation of any screenwriting.



However, lately, I have been seeing some authors who are a bit too leaned on in the show part.

Show, not tell
We assume that the person hasn't been following this. What I mean is, this advice is relative, and not absolute.

It's like saying, "Drive slower around schools."
I am assuming your normal speed is like 40mph/60kmph(I don't know how maths work)

You need not follow this if your normal speed is already like 5mph/15kmph.

Notice I say need not? I mean, of course you did, I specifically underlined it to make you notice it.

It's like perfume, sure, you can apply it 24/7, but you need not. You can just apply it whenever necessary.

So, every story, and every scene requires a balance between show and tell.

Take a look at an example,
Let's say you were writing a cooking novel, Food Wars type.
MC has left his dorm for the first day at academy.

Which one of these fit better in this scenario?

Spoiler: Tell, not show

I walked to the academy as fast as I could.

Or~~

Spoiler: Show not tell

I walked down the stairs, filled with enthusiasm and excitement for the new day. A new life even. Sun shone brightly and the skies were clear, a beautiful hue of blue, deep and mesmerising. Every step I take reminds me that this isn't a dream, and I simply couldn't help but giggle at fate.

It was still about half an hour before the lessons start, but I wanted to go there early just in case.

In between of the garden, I saw the old gardener, Simon hunched on his back. It was still spring, so the patch was barren other than the few sproutings here and there.
"Hello there uncle," I waved at him with a gleeful smile.
He turned around, and was equally happy to see me, "Oh! MC kun, how nice to see you. Isn't it too early though?"
Uncle Simon was a man in his forties, but he was still in incredible shape, with a body that could surely tear down a tree without needing an axe.
He was wearing a white tank top, which had started to become yellow, and wore blue jorts, shabbily made. Knowing uncle Simon, he probably tore the cloth with his own hands, finding using scissors to be too troublesome.
"Ah, yes, but I was actually to excited to stay in my room, so..."
My voice trailed at the end, but it seemed uncle Simon understood,
"It really is nice to be young. You remind me of my first visit to my in laws. I was too nervous to even sleep. Kept tossing and turning the entire time."

-To be continued

Alright, so,
Second option is very beautiful, I admit.
It creates a vivid image, increases immersivness, and is just so relaxing.

But, just like perfume, ask yourself,
"Do you really want this much vividness, throughout the work?"

Like, use such effort when the actual cooking takes place, sure.
Use those big words and open your thesaurus and just those metaphors you learnt while doing your masters.

But, you need not.

I mean, if you wanna, sure.
But it will lead in a cooking novel in which cooking hasn't happened yet and reader is like 5 chapters in.
Not to mention, it's also exhausting.

Like, soooo exhausting!

You will find yourself to run out of words.
[The sky is beautiful, it looks marvelous, the clouds have this wonderfully amusing shape]
And there, I have run out of all words I know.
If I were to continue now, it would be,
[And the colour as the sun sets is simply wonderful. The nearby fountain reflects its and the ripples form a marvelous piece of art. As I walked by, I saw some marvelous children who were very wonderful and marvelously played football while amusing themselves]

.....okay, no i think this one is a me problem....


But anyhow, many authors prefer to have a slow start.
Like, we all are pretty much desensitized by the isekai where MC kills a bear in the first chapter, so yes, we all appreciate a slow isekai. So..

Like, do you.
This isn't to tell you to do absolutely this. Experiment and learn, and just keep in mind show isn't the only tool you have

Ai-chan absolutely agrees. Some people take 'show, don't tell' way too far. We read because we want to enjoy the act itself. If you go too far into the act of 'showing', you're burdening the reader with unnecessary details that makes reading a chore. Ai-chan has stopped reading a lot of western novels because of this 'show, don't tell' that went wayyyyy too far.

Like the description of a dog walking outside, that went for three pages, who died not long after. This dog has absolutely no bearing to the story whatsoever. We don't even know whose dog it was.

Ai-chan thinks Agatha Christie had it right. Start the book with a heavy description, then quickly go to the meat of the story. Don't linger in any one scene too long or give too many details, leave the details for only the things that matter. Get in, describe the scene, get out. Use as few distractions as possible.

 

[Agentt]

Ai-chan thinks Agatha Christie had it right. Start the book with a heavy description, then quickly go to the meat of the story. Don't linger in any one scene too long or give too many details, leave the details for only the things that matter. Get in, describe the scene, get out. Use as few distractions as possible.

Yep, I even felt whiplash as she transitioned from stuff like, "we drove back," to writing 3 chapters about a character whose actions were suspicious, who ended up not even being the killer.

 

[Ilikewaterkusa]

Soo....
Show, not tell

Is a famous tip to give to people here.
Like, everyone knows it, if they don't, we have plenty of people to inform them of this marvelous fact.

It's almost the basic foundation of any screenwriting.



However, lately, I have been seeing some authors who are a bit too leaned on in the show part.

Show, not tell
We assume that the person hasn't been following this. What I mean is, this advice is relative, and not absolute.

It's like saying, "Drive slower around schools."
I am assuming your normal speed is like 40mph/60kmph(I don't know how maths work)

You need not follow this if your normal speed is already like 5mph/15kmph.

Notice I say need not? I mean, of course you did, I specifically underlined it to make you notice it.

It's like perfume, sure, you can apply it 24/7, but you need not. You can just apply it whenever necessary.

So, every story, and every scene requires a balance between show and tell.

Take a look at an example,
Let's say you were writing a cooking novel, Food Wars type.
MC has left his dorm for the first day at academy.

Which one of these fit better in this scenario?

Spoiler: Tell, not show

I walked to the academy as fast as I could.

Or~~

Spoiler: Show not tell

I walked down the stairs, filled with enthusiasm and excitement for the new day. A new life even. Sun shone brightly and the skies were clear, a beautiful hue of blue, deep and mesmerising. Every step I take reminds me that this isn't a dream, and I simply couldn't help but giggle at fate.

It was still about half an hour before the lessons start, but I wanted to go there early just in case.

In between of the garden, I saw the old gardener, Simon hunched on his back. It was still spring, so the patch was barren other than the few sproutings here and there.
"Hello there uncle," I waved at him with a gleeful smile.
He turned around, and was equally happy to see me, "Oh! MC kun, how nice to see you. Isn't it too early though?"
Uncle Simon was a man in his forties, but he was still in incredible shape, with a body that could surely tear down a tree without needing an axe.
He was wearing a white tank top, which had started to become yellow, and wore blue jorts, shabbily made. Knowing uncle Simon, he probably tore the cloth with his own hands, finding using scissors to be too troublesome.
"Ah, yes, but I was actually to excited to stay in my room, so..."
My voice trailed at the end, but it seemed uncle Simon understood,
"It really is nice to be young. You remind me of my first visit to my in laws. I was too nervous to even sleep. Kept tossing and turning the entire time."

-To be continued

Alright, so,
Second option is very beautiful, I admit.
It creates a vivid image, increases immersivness, and is just so relaxing.

But, just like perfume, ask yourself,
"Do you really want this much vividness, throughout the work?"

Like, use such effort when the actual cooking takes place, sure.
Use those big words and open your thesaurus and just those metaphors you learnt while doing your masters.

But, you need not.

I mean, if you wanna, sure.
But it will lead in a cooking novel in which cooking hasn't happened yet and reader is like 5 chapters in.
Not to mention, it's also exhausting.

Like, soooo exhausting!

You will find yourself to run out of words.
[The sky is beautiful, it looks marvelous, the clouds have this wonderfully amusing shape]
And there, I have run out of all words I know.
If I were to continue now, it would be,
[And the colour as the sun sets is simply wonderful. The nearby fountain reflects its and the ripples form a marvelous piece of art. As I walked by, I saw some marvelous children who were very wonderful and marvelously played football while amusing themselves]

.....okay, no i think this one is a me problem....


But anyhow, many authors prefer to have a slow start.
Like, we all are pretty much desensitized by the isekai where MC kills a bear in the first chapter, so yes, we all appreciate a slow isekai. So..

Like, do you.
This isn't to tell you to do absolutely this. Experiment and learn, and just keep in mind show isn't the only tool you have

I’m too much detached from the human experience to write in depth and descriptively

 

[NotaNuffian]

My work needs work cuz for a year or two of infrequent writing, I still can't tell wtf is tell and wtf is show.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

I'll have chapters that completely show and completely tell while I have others that are perfectly balanced. It all depends on what is happening in the chapter.

 

[CubicleHermit]

One thing I try to take to heart (and usually fail at) is what TVTropes calls "The Law of Conservation of Detail."

The second example is an interesting read on its own, but if you're aiming this at a reader - particularly outside of literary-for-its-own-sake writing - you have to ask "what does this show me about the character or the plot?" As a writer, it's easy to write at length, especially if you do a lot of worldbuilding, but it's not necessarily easy to keep readers with that.

I just had to toss half a page of "what is a supermarket like in a world that's modern, but has magic?" because, well, it was cool, but it's going to knock any reader out of the story unless they happen to like that sort of digression.

As a counter-example, the Honor Harrington novels - which I love, and many (probably most) mil-SF readers love - but I have to assume that many people (even other SF fans) get to the chapter-long digressions on the evolution of space warfare hardware and give up. David Weber gets away with it in part because when you're really good you can, and because by the time you're at like, book 15 in the series (or like 21 with all the spinoffs) your readers are just that invested in it.

 

[longer]

I'll have chapters that completely show and completely tell while I have others that are perfectly balanced. It all depends on what is happening in the chapter.

The monogatari experience.

That's actually true. It's something we really talk about, some readers are annoying like that.

It's really sad, considering how the fun part of exploring a new world is being slowly fed information and using said information to draw conclusions to varying degrees of success.

 

[Paul_Tromba]

The monogatari experience.

Hey, another Monogatari book series enjoyer.