Tbh, I didn't read it. (sorry) het isn't my thing. I skimmed, and the writing seemed pretty coherent, but that is all I was gonna do. Because I disagree vehemently with the upstairs first few comments, who state that explicit sex doesn't have a place in serious literature.
@Assurbanipal_II ? I think your comment is rather...unnecessary as constructive criticism or even an opinion on the topic. Idk. I'm all bristly today. It's fine that the above people probably find sex to detract from the scene. But... if you don't write or read in that genre/tag, why are you commenting? People write about misogynist harems, violent gore, and all the other touchy stuff all the time and don't get flack. I honestly think that just having sex is way better than that teasy bullsh*t. If a book is supposed to be for adults, then adult material is included! Just because there is an abundance of content that might be considered sub-par out there, doesn't mean the genre, or sex as a tag in any genre is inherently bad or "low quality".
Like
@katie55 said, (and btw, I agree with EVERYTHING she said!!), sex is just another part of being human. Being able to write it skillfully to incite emotion, the same way you do with a riveting action scene, a sorrowful mourning flashback, or a dramatic face-slap moment, shows mettle and talent! I work very very very hard to make sure my sex scenes are well blocked, well-articulated, and telling about the characters' psyches. They are not the story. But they complete the story in some very significant ways. Sex can help you get past your insecurities. Overcome trauma. Experience a loss of control. Sex scenes can tell the reader a facet about a character's personality that would otherwise be lost or underappreciated.
Sex can play a role that is very mild for some people, but for others, sex and sexuality shape a large part of the way they navigate the world. It is right and good, and IMO, wholesome to include sex (in the way I have stated above) to further your story. So I don't want people reading these posts and thinking that there is a consensus.
I am chiming in as a BL writer, so please mind the source. I think that every book is unique in how it manages sex as a plot device in the story. Obviously there is a difference between well-written smut (which exists, I promise!), and a well-executed book that can have explicit sex scenes that round out the story as a whole. There are many ways in which sex can play a dynamic role in one or more characters', or the story's development. Take books like the Kushiel series by Jaqueline Carey. Her works are masterfully written. Oh my god. Better than anything else I've read, wordcraft-wise, in over a year. I cried during one of her sex scenes. Intense and emotional. Or the whimsical use of sex as a vehicle for action and misadventure, utilized well by the author Carl Hiaasen. Or hell. The translated work by MXTX, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. There would not be fans, or monetization without those (few) scenes. It is out there! Really! More people should write about sex in a normal, human way. We all f**king do it.