The legendary "Weapon"


Follower of Momus, Believer of Comus
Jan 22, 2019
A story including a legendary item that is used as a weapon, but you would not ordinarily use that item as a weapon.
Keyword: Item. It can be anything, even if it is not meant to be used for anything.


Green Tea Bitch
Feb 25, 2019
"My liege, the hero party is at the gates. It seems they have already defeated the four demon kings?" Malgoro, the demonic butler, called to the hulking figure in bespoke spiked armour sitting upon the darkly lit throne above.


"Already?" Beneath the all-enveloping visor of his helm, the demon king sneered, lifting up a clenched fist and slamming it back down upon the arm of his grim bonemeld throne. "I hope for their sake that the hero party killed them, otherwise they can expect a fate worst than death for so disappointing me."


"Perhaps a subject for another day, my liege. The hero party will no doubt arrive at any moment-"


"Do you doubt my ability to handle a single puny group of righteous do-gooders, Malgoro?" The demon king's voice was chilly, the eerie calm beofre the storm. Malgoro cowered, keeping his sickly golden eyes lowered, afraid to further incite his dark lord to anger.


"Never, my liege."

The demon king stood slowly, the black cloak woven out of threads of pure shadows plucked from the Forgotten Catacombs pooling behind him as he gradually lifted his towering bulk from his demonic throne. He stood there, gazing out at the large black iron doors that lead into his great hall, a harsh silhouette of jagged black violence awaiting the arrival of the so called 'heroes of light'. He let out a sound that seemed like a poor impression of a chuckle - mirthless and unsettling, a harsh throaty bark.


"Let them come. I will show them the wra-ACHOO-"


"...I will show the-ACHOO!"

"...My liege?"


The demon king's head pistoned back and forth as he let out a series of loud, harsh sneezes. He swore, tearing his helmet off, revealing water red eyes and a running, snotty nose. He opened his mouth to say something, but as his misshapen nose twitched, his head rocketed forward as he let out another bellowing sneeze, and-

When the hero party entered the great hall, they were very confused to find the demon king had somehow... skewered his head on the large, tacky spikes of his armour somehow. A butler-y looking demon stood beside him, looking pale and perplexed, clearly not the cause of this... weird incident. The heroes - the sword saint, the great stage, and the saintess - exchanged confused glances, until the saintess suddenly let out a startled - sneeze.


"Now's not really the best time for your hayfever to act up." The great sage grumbled. The saintess gave him an indignant glare, covering her reddish nose with one hand.

"I can't help it! It's so dusty in here!"

Nobody noticed the goblin holding the broom staring glumly at the mud and blood the hero party had tracked in.

And she'd just cleaned there too...


『Silkmaid』『Queen Sylvia Glasscrest of Arya』
Dec 23, 2018
this is a pretty good prompt to think over. It's a rather well established one many overlook. I have read stories where the special item is anything from a mirror, to a ring, to string, to a random rock picked up off the ground. it is a bit more common in the Chinese novels as they try to outdo each other in originality and creativity at a far higher rate than others. one that appears in japan is also things like tattoo's and phones, games etc.


Dec 23, 2018
Well, this is from my RL experience but with a twist.

I head to the bank as I plan on withdrawing money for my tuition funds.

Opening the door, I was greeted by a large amount of people lining up and head to one of the lines to wait for my turn.

Pulling my phone, I began to browse through the new manga I found as I began to read it while waiting....

"Alright people, give me your money and no one gets hurt." a group of men rushed in with guns on their hands as the people inside began to panic.

"Ah..." one of the people knocked my phone out as I tried to retrieve my phone back.

"Oi asshol-" before he could speak, I quickly tackled him to avoid him seeing what I was reading.

The manga that I began to read was an ecchi manga which I'm more afraid of losing my dignity than my life. Avoiding people's gaze on my phone was more of my priority than my life as I was afraid of the guy looking at my phone.

"This bastard!" the other man screamed loudly as he pulled his gun towards me.

I didn't have a choice put kick my phone before he could see it as I perfectly landed my phone on the guy's eggs. The guy's eyes turn white from the impact as he tried to cover his genitals.

The last guy began to think I was trying to be a hero and aim the gun at me. My phone bounced towards the last guy as I tried to grab my phone but I slipped and use both of my hands to do a flip, yet, I only grab the guy's head by accident and flipped him over and manage to grab my phone before landing on the ground.

I quickly close my phone and felt relieved since I believe no one saw what was on my phone at that moment but I quickly realized that I had subdued a group of robbers while trying to get my phone.

I rather believe the people telling the story of me being a hero than people knowing that I was reading an ecchi manga at the bank.

What actually happened at the bank in RL:

I once head to the bank to get a withdrawal, lined up and as I was about to pull my phone, my hand slipped and hit my foot. I screamed in pain as I also managed to hit my head at the counter, grope a woman's chest and get kneed on the face, punched by her husband, accidentally grope a woman behind me, get hit by her bag as fall to the ground and covering my face as my nose was bleeding from both of the impacts to the face.

I manage to remain calm and managed to withdraw, had apologized to both women and being apologized by them as well and I don't wanna go back at the bank again...


Active member
Jan 19, 2019
After a couple of historical chinese light novels, I figured out that having ”eyebrows like swords” simply meant that the character in question was just really handsome and had clearly defined eyebrows. But the silly idea of ACTUALLY HAVING SWORDS FOR EYEBROWS festered on my mind and still made me giggle like a fool several years after my lightnovel phase was over. So when the assassins guild hired me for my success in enhancing the human body through magitech, I thought, ’why not?’. Yes it was dumb and yes it was at least 42.534786% me just doing something I thought was really funny... but seriously, why not? The magitech industry was still young. The imagination of the scientists behind it had yet to truly flourish, and the enhancement one saw in the soldiers was stuff like enhancing the hands, turning fingernails to claws, thickening the skin... predictable things.

For assassins, predictability was bad. Predictability was countered.

No one would predict an assassin killing people with their eyebrows, okay? Even the most cautious target would never think of guarding against other peoples eyebrows. It was actually perfect - I could surgically imbed telechinetic blades inside the users cranium, and the actual eyebrows would cover up the surgical scar and make the embedded weapon invisible at first glance, not betraying the presence of a weapon even to checks by guards! Brilliance, pure brilliance!


Follower of Momus, Believer of Comus
Jan 22, 2019
Heya. I gotta story for my prompt. I swear a bit so, be warned about that.

It was time for the final showdown.
Armor: Check.
Cloak: Check.
Awesome comrades: Check.
The demon lord slaying horseshoe: ...
Yeah I got it.
Fuck me, why did the best blacksmith in the kingdom confuse his only bar of adamantite with iron? Why did he have a heart attack afterwards, so no one could reforge it?
Why did I have to be the goddamn hero wielding this thing?
The nobles are covering this up in front of the masses, but at this rate, I'll be the kingdom's greatest joke. The golden hero, holding aloft the holy horseshoe.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with it anyways? The bastard demon lord will probably just put it on his cloven feet once he's done with us.
"Tell you guys what. How about we take a week, go back home, train some apprentice to forge adamantite, and come back here with at least a demon slaying spear? Sound good?"
My party members gave me a deadpan look. I had been trying similar arguments all the way up to the castle, but none of them were willing to verbally spar with me anymore. That's what happens when you say the same shit for a couple weeks: People get sick of it.
So, being the socially adept hero I am, I understand that they want me to shut up so they can mentally prepare themselves for the big bad.
Too bad that I don't care what they want.
"I see. I'll take that as a no. I suppose we can compromise and just collect a holy steel or mithril blade. Yes, I do believe that is the answer. If you excuse me, I'll be returning now--" I try to turn around, but my companions(traitors) proceed to push me towards the castle.
You see, I'm not exactly an expert on fighting demons. Or fighting monsters. Or fighting. I got roped into this one in a way that I never expected.
When the kingdom realized they now had a horseshoe, they did what any normal people would expect.
Yeah, no. They held a few huge ass festivals across the kingdom. There were a few different things included. Knife throwing, sword fighting, contests of strength...
And a horseshoe throwing competition.
Yeah, I won that one. Didn't think the grand prize would be the honor of being the hero of the kingdom.
So now the young boy (of 43) with humble origins (a courier) heads off on his noble quest (is forced to go off) to fight the demon lord.
Fuck me, this kingdom is stupid.


Active member
Dec 27, 2018
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but the pen hasn't been invented yet.

I've been thinking about this a while, what if i infuse my magic with an idiom?

I was reincarnated in this world of wizards and warriors. Blessed in the ways of an enchantress and sadly with no cheat skills, I'm looking for a way to raise hell. I wish I had a cheat but you have to play the hand you're dealt.

Plus God was a dick.

Should God be punishing me for worshipping the devil in my teen years?

I guessed I did only live til I was 17.

They say the good die young; i guess the bad do too.

Anyways... An enchanter is able to enhance almost anything for long periods of time with downside of putting their literal souls into it. That piece of your soul stays until you either die or the object is destroy, returning that piece of your soul in the process.

It is standard to enhance with words to describe what you want it to excel at. I've made a few artifacts and found using sentences work way better. But would an idiom work even better?

An idiom to me is a puzzle built with words. You can go your whole life without understanding why those words were chosen to describe what they do.

I should have tested it out. Maybe studied in the subject first as well. Because, it just so happens if you use more that 49% of your soul for enchanting, your core is open to new... guest.

I thought I was pretty smart when I enchanted my tongue with, "silver tongued devil." And a bunch of other words, like: cast, attack, stretch, slice.

I wasn't dumb enough to use 100% of my soul, I only used 99%. I was pretty powerful to start. Swaying others, pitting foe versus foe with only word. My tongue could also lungue out and slice with its silver properties. I felt unstoppable.

But so empty.

Because I was. Until something decided to come inside me. And that's where I am now. No control what so ever of my body or tongue. I'm gently flying up. It feels the same as the first time I died.

If they cut my tongue off and leave my body, i might get control back.

That probably won't happen since whatever took control of me is acting like the literal Devil.

It might become the demon king of this cliche world...

God isn't going to like this.

)On my phone btw that why the letter i isn't always in cap. I'm not that dumb.)
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New member
May 2, 2019
The one time great porn star John "the Meat Log" Bamahan looked down at his weapon of choice, twelve hard inches of punishing power that pulsed in his hand when he held it. He tipped back his head and growled as he looked at her. Those eyes that said, "I'm guilty, punish me!" Stared up at him, she licked her lips and sneered as if daring him to do it.

John looked at her and said, "Looks like you've been a bad girl, I'm going to have to punish you." Then John grabbed his twelve inch legendary weapon in his hand and WHAM, he crushed her with the ultimate punishment it could deliver. The other members of the crew knew they were in deep trouble now that the Meat Log was here to stop the bank robbery with his ruler of justice.

It's just a ruler you perverts.


New member
Mar 11, 2019
Rotate to the north,
than to the south,
than to the east,
and lastly to the west,

It spun and spin,
swirl and twirl,
a cube held in ones hand,
control the fate of the world,

Power almighty yet unknown,
Causing ruin yet also prosperity,
A slave once held it in hand,
He was a King in his last breathe,

Hands change like time,
Owners change like places,
No one knows it's power,
For destiny require fate not be known,

As if it is a wheel of perpetual motion,
that can only spin and spin forever more.

I don't have the ability to come up with a short story without overthinking things. So here is a poem about that tells the story.


Active member
Feb 4, 2019
"Emily, what are you doing here?" a voice broke the silence in the room.

"Miss Poppy..." Emily didn't turn around. Poppy frowned at her impoliteness.

"Emily, when you speak to someone you have to look at them."

Emily turned around, revealing Poppy's laptop that was blocked by her body. "Would you mind explaining this, Miss?"

On the laptop screen, there's a live view of the missing students in one room. Some are panicking, some are trying to break the room, but most of them are studying with a blank look.

Poppy smile widens. "Ah Emily, you should not snoop on people's belonging, you know. Naughty kids should be punished."

"Did you do this?" Emily's voice cracked. "Did you kidnapped all of them?"

Poppy eyes widen. "Kidnap? Oh my goodness, what a harsh word!" She walked towards Emily slowly, like a predator cornering her prey. "It's a disciplinary session dear, a therapy if you will. They will be such a good kids when I am done."

"You can't do that!" Emily tries to hold back her anger. She hopes she can talk this out. "You're brainwashing them! You-"

"It's fine, their grade is higher and they become nicer. At least, none of them break into my room at night." Poppy voice is now dripping with sarcasm. "They are... very helpful."

Emily was about to argue more, when two brainwashed students come out and attack her. They are the bullies that went missing earlier.

Poppy watch Emily dodge the attacks for a while. "You are quite nimble Emily, I didn't know that. Did you deliberately hold back at P.E.? That's not good, Emily. You're bringing our school average grade down."

"Who cares about, OOPS! about grades?!" Emily roared while knocking out the two guys.

Poppy smile disappeared as fast as lightning. "You don't care about grades?" She hissed. "I didn't know you're such a bad kid Emily. You sneaked at night, you fight, and you DON'T CARE ABOUT GRADES?"

"You asked them to fight me first!" Emily retorted.

"How dare you talk back to your teacher! You really should be punished!"

Emily rolled her eyes, but when she looked back at Miss Poppy, there's a crowd of brainwashed students behind her. Some even brought weapons. Emily forced herself to smile. "Ohohoho miss, let's calm down a bit yeah? How about I give you this... mascara as a peace offering?" Emily pointed her pink mascara to Poppy

"Bribery is a crime. I've never thought my student would be a criminal," Poppy rejected her.

Kidnapping is also a crime! Emily roared in her heart. "No need to be shy miss, just take it!" She took off the cap, showing the mascara brush inside it. It looks brand new.

But before Poppy could say anything, Emily's mascara brush shoot off from her case and it turned to a huge net, trapping all of them.

"What is this?! Emily, release me this instant!" Poppy growled at Emily.

"Oh, it's just a Net Throwing Extendable Rod Mascara. And I forgot to tell you." 'Emily' press one of the gems decorating her belt. A bright light enveloped her body, and revealed an unfamiliar girl. "I'm not Emily, I'm just another WHOOPS agent."

'Emily' looked down to Poppy. "And you are under arrest."

yes it's a Totally Spies Fanfiction. Sorry my idea of "ordinary item turns out to be a weapon" is spy gadgets
Jan 15, 2019
They said the pen is mightier than the sword...

So I used my pen to murder the Demon King, Dragons, and Drunk Politicians.