The Yuri Writing Help Room (18+)

Moonpearl

The Yuri Empress
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This is a thread for people who are writing Girls' Love or otherwise sapphic fiction to ask questions, seek feedback, and discuss.

People who are challenging themselves by writing relationships between women may struggle with various problems~! Are you completely baffled by how women have sex? Don't know your clitoris from your g-spot? Strongly believe that people with vaginas pee out of them!?
Or maybe you just want to ask how to improve the chemistry between your characters?
Well, this is the place for you regardless~!

I'm Moonpearl, creator of the Yuri Garden for yuri fans over on Scribble Hub's sister site's forums, and a bona fide woman who likes women. I'm happy to use my own experience to help answer questions when I feel comfortable doing so~!

(Note: It's best to refer to yuri as "yuri", "Girls' Love" or "GL", regardless of its sexual content. The term "shoujo ai" refers to paedophilia in Japan. You can read Ai-chan's explanation if you click here.)

Rules:
1. No homophobia.
2. No transphobia.
3. No harassing people. All information volunteered here is to help you write, not to invite you to send sexual and/or abusive messages to the people who answer.
 
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Moonpearl

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How you write it as a sex scene

Well, there are quite a lot of ways of doing it, depending on what you intend to write. The way you build into it will also vary, but that part isn't different from regular sex scenes.

Hm... Personally I use oral sex as the default act for a basic yuri sex scene, along with some fingering and plenty of foreplay. But you can also use toys, pegging, and I guess scissoring, since some women can make that work.

What kind of sex scene are you trying to write, and what parts are you stuck on?
 

FriendlyDragon

Your friendly local dragon~
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Ooo~. I like this thread. Hopefully I can acquire some useful tips. I can also help others as well.
 

Moonpearl

The Yuri Empress
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Just gonna write some basic one but kinda don’t know how women have sex

Assuming that both women are cis women (although most of this applies to all women)...

In sex between women, things that are considered "foreplay" or pre-sex playing around in traditional male-female sex become sex itself. So oral sex and digital sex (using the fingers/hands) are sex. Foreplay also takes centre stage and can last a long time. Actually, I don't even think of so-called "foreplay" as foreplay, since it's such an integral part of sex...

Foreplay can include gently kissing/sucking the neck, caressing the breasts, and teasing the nipples with your fingers or with your mouth.
A lot of people emphasise that you should touch the breasts gently and slide your hands along the skin in order to caress them, and never to knead them like bread, but... I personally think a little squeezing is nice on a psychological level, if not on a physical level, so long as it's not hard enough to cause pain.
You should treat nipples gently to begin with. They can take harder sucking and pinching as you get further into sex and the woman becomes more aroused, but it will just feel unpleasant if you go straight to nibbling them.
Sometimes sucking more harshly on the neck can be nice, but it's also painful. Creating a lovebite always comes with a bit of pain.

There are less conventional forms of foreplay that are important, though, and should really be done before you jump to the above mentioned areas. Kissing, for example, is the best first element of sex and should go on as the only element for as long as it takes for both women to want to go further. (Ideally. Women also get impatient.)
The human body has a surprising number of places that are nice to brush your fingers across or slide your hand along gently. The back of the neck, the back, the shoulders, the inner elbows, the thighs, and the back of the knees are some such places - although the elbows and knees are a rare place to target, maybe because they're not well known.
That's why just having someone slide their hands down you when you kiss can feel pleasurable. Not on the level of your nipples and such, but it's a great place to start to get a woman aroused.
I can't say that having your butt grabbed is physically pleasurable, but it's nice on a psychological level. It's a sign that you're being desired, you know?

When it comes to oral/digital sex...
The entirety of the external female sex organs are sensitive and pleasurable to touch, but the clitoris is the star of the show. It's often described as a "little bean" up at the top, but it can vary a lot in size.
Here's a diagram: https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Health/_layouts/15/healthwise/media/medical/hw/h9991308-001.jpg

The clitoris is super sensitive and really the best way to bring a woman to orgasm, if she has one, but you need to be careful not to overstimulate it. Some clits are so sensitive that they can't be touched without the hood (a sort of foreskin) over the top or else it will be shockingly painful. Too much vibration from some sex toys can also overstimulate the clitoris.
Once its overstimulated, the clitoris won't feel pleasurable to touch at all for a period of time... So unless you're prepared to give up and cuddle for a while and try again later, an overstimulated clitoris spells the end of sex (or at least no orgasm for that woman).

If you're using your fingers, they should be clean, and your nails should be short and not have any nicks or rough edges on them. One or two fingers is really enough for touching the genitals.
You'll also have to use a little lube, or you can try and use the secretions your partner has put out because they got wet, but you'll have to actually transfer that from the space in between the inner lips/before the actual vagina entrance (which isn't well represented by the diagram I linked?). You don't want to touch the genitals dry, because it won't do much.
Some women also don't produce a lot of secretion no matter what, so always have lube handy. Make sure it's water-based and that it's real lube: make-shift lubricants like oil or vaseline do not belong on the genitals, as they can disrupt the balance within the vagina if they get in and cause an infection. For the same reason, don't use flavoured lube.
Also, I've noticed that there is such a thing as too much lube for the clitoris - at some point you won't be causing friction anymore, and there's no pleasure. Use just a dab and add more if it feels too dry. If you add too much, you can try gently dabbing the excess off with a tissue.

If you're using your mouth, be careful not to bite or catch her with your teeth. Sometimes it's helpful to cover your teeth with your lips.

I wanted to link to the guide to cunnilingus (oral sex performed on a woman) that I used a long time ago, but I can't seem to find it...
Well, whether with your hands or your finger, it's pleasurable to gently rub the inner and outer labia, the space in between them, and that space just before the entrance to the vagina that I mentioned before. You can really take your time - pleasure is better than an orgasm, and the more pleasure you give beforehand, the better the orgasm will be.

When it comes to the clitoris, you can gently brush up and down across it, draw circles over the top of it, suck it a little, or even tap it repeatedly. Keeping a moderate pace will bring a woman to orgasm (except maybe with sucking; I'm not sure if that alone can do it) - you don't need to speed up. In fact, too much speed causes no pleasure.
The best sex won't go to one and just keep going to push her to finish, but will switch the patterns and pressure to keep it new and pleasurable and draw it out. Some people even suggest moving away from the clit again and teasing the labia, or even the rest of her body, before going back.

Not everyone enjoys penetration, and not everyone can take it. But for basic vaginal penetration with the fingers, you need lube and usually two fingers. You're supposed to find the rough patch against the front wall of the vagina, closest to her clitoris, and make a "come hither" motion against it.
Note: For the vagina, there really is no such thing as too much lube. Natural secretions will eventually dry out with use and it will become painful for her when you move.
How much pleasure a woman will feel from penetration varies. Some women are really sensitive and get a lot out of it, and for some women it's just an annoying feeling. Only about 80% of people with vaginas can orgasm from penetration.

When it comes to scissoring... It's not popular, but I've heard there are some people who enjoy it. Generally it's hard to rub your genitals against someone else's like that and it doesn't end up being pleasurable. Scissoring also puts the rest of your partner's body a very long way away from you, so there's nothing else you can really do.
Some women apparently rub their genitals against their partner's thigh, and then their partner can somehow rub against their thigh at the same time too, and they orgasm that way. How? Sorry, I don't know: thighs aren't hard enough to be pleasurable to rub against, in my opinion.

Oral and digital is easy because it doesn't need any extra tools like pegging and toy use, so I consider that to be "basic sex". Other people might disagree, though.

Oh - and don't put any perfume or "feminine hygiene" products/washes on the genitals, either. I've seen some yuri where they perfumed the clit before sex... I can only imagine the burning pain and infection that would really result from that.

That should be more information than you need, but knowing the full details will help you select what you need to actually represent in your writing.

Is there anything you didn't understand, or do you have more questions?
 
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Ai-chan

Queen of Yuri Devourer of Traps
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How you write it as a sex scene
If you know how to write hetero sex scene, it's not something like that. Or more like throw out everything you know about hetero sex out the window and start over with a more sensual act of kissing, touching, licking and cuddling. With girls, it's not about 'putting it in' but more about feeling loved.

Generally, girl's body does not rely only on one erogenous zone. You've probably heard about breasts and vagina being erogenous zones, but most people are not aware that before you even get to the the breasts, you have to play with either the nose, the ears or the neck first. In my case, I prefer my gf's hands caressing my spine. The hair can also be an erogenous zone.

So wham bam thank you mam is never gonna work with girls.

And then before you can even get to the vagina, there are many more things you should do as trying to romance a bored girl is the worst. You can't just grab her in the pussy and she'd get wet for you, no matter how submissive the girl is. If you're not in the mood, then you're not in the mood, that's why you need an extensive foreplay, so that you can persuade her to get in the mood. This is quite easy between girls as we don't the super volcanic climax that guys have. Girl climaxes are either like crashing waves or continuous explosions so it is fine to have extensive foreplay.
 

Moonpearl

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If you know how to write hetero sex scene, it's not something like that. Or more like throw out everything you know about hetero sex out the window and start over with a more sensual act of kissing, touching, licking and cuddling. With girls, it's not about 'putting it in' but more about feeling loved.

Generally, girl's body does not rely only on one erogenous zone. You've probably heard about breasts and vagina being erogenous zones, but most people are not aware that before you even get to the the breasts, you have to play with either the nose, the ears or the neck first. In my case, I prefer my gf's hands caressing my spine. The hair can also be an erogenous zone.

So wham bam thank you mam is never gonna work with girls.

And then before you can even get to the vagina, there are many more things you should do as trying to romance a bored girl is the worst. You can't just grab her in the pussy and she'd get wet for you, no matter how submissive the girl is. If you're not in the mood, then you're not in the mood, that's why you need an extensive foreplay, so that you can persuade her to get in the mood. This is quite easy between girls as we don't the super volcanic climax that guys have. Girl climaxes are either like crashing waves or continuous explosions so it is fine to have extensive foreplay.

:blob_aww: *has learned today that the nose is an erogenous zone*
 

FriendlyDragon

Your friendly local dragon~
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I was thinking about writing something but you girls touched everything there is. Probably better than I could explain it, haha.
 

Acolyte01

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Th
Assuming that both women are cis women (although most of this applies to all women)...

In sex between women, things that are considered "foreplay" or pre-sex playing around in traditional male-female sex become sex itself. So oral sex and digital sex (using the fingers/hands) are sex. Foreplay also takes centre stage and can last a long time. Actually, I don't even think of so-called "foreplay" as foreplay, since it's such an integral part of sex...

Foreplay can include gently kissing/sucking the neck, caressing the breasts, and teasing the nipples with your fingers or with your mouth.
A lot of people emphasise that you should touch the breasts gently and slide your hands along the skin in order to caress them, and never to knead them like bread, but... I personally think a little squeezing is nice on a psychological level, if not on a physical level, so long as it's not hard enough to cause pain.
You should treat nipples gently to begin with. They can take harder sucking and pinching as you get further into sex and the woman becomes more aroused, but it will just feel unpleasant if you go straight to nibbling them.
Sometimes sucking more harshly on the neck can be nice, but it's also painful. Creating a lovebite always comes with a bit of pain.

There are less conventional forms of foreplay that are important, though, and should really be done before you jump to the above mentioned areas. Kissing, for example, is the best first element of sex and should go on as the only element for as long as it takes for both women to want to go further. (Ideally. Women also get impatient.)
The human body has a surprising number of places that are nice to brush your fingers across or slide your hand along gently. The back of the neck, the back, the shoulders, the inner elbows, the thighs, and the back of the knees are some such places - although the elbows and knees are a rare place to target, maybe because they're not well known.
That's why just having someone slide their hands down you when you kiss can feel pleasurable. Not on the level of your nipples and such, but it's a great place to start to get a woman aroused.
I can't say that having your butt grabbed is physically pleasurable, but it's nice on a psychological level. It's a sign that you're being desired, you know?

When it comes to oral/digital sex...
The entirety of the external female sex organs are sensitive and pleasurable to touch, but the clitoris is the star of the show. It's often described as a "little bean" up at the top, but it can vary a lot in size.
Here's a diagram: https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Health/_layouts/15/healthwise/media/medical/hw/h9991308-001.jpg

The clitoris is super sensitive and really the best way to bring a woman to orgasm, if she has one, but you need to be careful not to overstimulate it. Some clits are so sensitive that they can't be touched without the hood (a sort of foreskin) over the top or else it will be shockingly painful. Too much vibration from some sex toys can also overstimulate the clitoris.
Once its overstimulated, the clitoris won't feel pleasurable to touch at all for a period of time... So unless you're prepared to give up and cuddle for a while and try again later, an overstimulated clitoris spells the end of sex (or at least no orgasm for that woman).

If you're using your fingers, they should be clean, and your nails should be short and not have any nicks or rough edges on them. One or two fingers is really enough for touching the genitals.
You'll also have to use a little lube, or you can try and use the secretions your partner has put out because they got wet, but you'll have to actually transfer that from the space in between the inner lips/before the actual vagina entrance (which isn't well represented by the diagram I linked?). You don't want to touch the genitals dry, because it won't do much.
Some women also don't produce a lot of secretion no matter what, so always have lube handy. Make sure it's water-based and that it's real lube: make-shift lubricants like oil or vaseline do not belong on the genitals, as they can disrupt the balance within the vagina if they get in and cause an infection. For the same reason, don't use flavoured lube.
Also, I've noticed that there is such a thing as too much lube for the clitoris - at some point you won't be causing friction anymore, and there's no pleasure. Use just a dab and add more if it feels too dry. If you add too much, you can try gently dabbing the excess off with a tissue.

If you're using your mouth, be careful not to bite or catch her with your teeth. Sometimes it's helpful to cover your teeth with your lips.

I wanted to link to the guide to cunnilingus (oral sex performed on a woman) that I used a long time ago, but I can't seem to find it...
Well, whether with your hands or your finger, it's pleasurable to gently rub the inner and outer labia, the space in between them, and that space just before the entrance to the vagina that I mentioned before. You can really take your time - pleasure is better than an orgasm, and the more pleasure you give beforehand, the better the orgasm will be.

When it comes to the clitoris, you can gently brush up and down across it, draw circles over the top of it, suck it a little, or even tap it repeatedly. Keeping a moderate pace will bring a woman to orgasm (except maybe with sucking; I'm not sure if that alone can do it) - you don't need to speed up. In fact, too much speed causes no pleasure.
The best sex won't go to one and just keep going to push her to finish, but will switch the patterns and pressure to keep it new and pleasurable and draw it out. Some people even suggest moving away from the clit again and teasing the labia, or even the rest of her body, before going back.

Not everyone enjoys penetration, and not everyone can take it. But for basic vaginal penetration with the fingers, you need lube and usually two fingers. You're supposed to find the rough patch against the front wall of the vagina, closest to her clitoris, and make a "come hither" motion against it.
Note: For the vagina, there really is no such thing as too much lube. Natural secretions will eventually dry out with use and it will become painful for her when you move.
How much pleasure a woman will feel from penetration varies. Some women are really sensitive and get a lot out of it, and for some women it's just an annoying feeling. Only about 80% of people with vaginas can orgasm from penetration.

When it comes to scissoring... It's not popular, but I've heard there are some people who enjoy it. Generally it's hard to rub your genitals against someone else's like that and it doesn't end up being pleasurable. Scissoring also puts the rest of your partner's body a very long way away from you, so there's nothing else you can really do.
Some women apparently rub their genitals against their partner's thigh, and then their partner can somehow rub against their thigh at the same time too, and they orgasm that way. How? Sorry, I don't know: thighs aren't hard enough to be pleasurable to rub against, in my opinion.

Oral and digital is easy because it doesn't need any extra tools like pegging and toy use, so I consider that to be "basic sex". Other people might disagree, though.

Oh - and don't put any perfume or "feminine hygiene" products/washes on the genitals, either. I've seen some yuri where they perfumed the clit before sex... I can only imagine the burning pain and infection that would really result from that.

That should be more information than you need, but knowing the full details will help you select what you need to actually represent in your writing.

Is there anything you didn't understand, or do you have more questions?
thanks
If you know how to write hetero sex scene, it's not something like that. Or more like throw out everything you know about hetero sex out the window and start over with a more sensual act of kissing, touching, licking and cuddling. With girls, it's not about 'putting it in' but more about feeling loved.

Generally, girl's body does not rely only on one erogenous zone. You've probably heard about breasts and vagina being erogenous zones, but most people are not aware that before you even get to the the breasts, you have to play with either the nose, the ears or the neck first. In my case, I prefer my gf's hands caressing my spine. The hair can also be an erogenous zone.

So wham bam thank you mam is never gonna work with girls.

And then before you can even get to the vagina, there are many more things you should do as trying to romance a bored girl is the worst. You can't just grab her in the pussy and she'd get wet for you, no matter how submissive the girl is. If you're not in the mood, then you're not in the mood, that's why you need an extensive foreplay, so that you can persuade her to get in the mood. This is quite easy between girls as we don't the super volcanic climax that guys have. Girl climaxes are either like crashing waves or continuous explosions so it is fine to have extensive foreplay.
thanks
 

FriendlyDragon

Your friendly local dragon~
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we need more yuri
Yes, we do~. I have some story ideas after my current one that have become yuri. I don't know why but almost every story becomes yuri once I develop it more in my head. I don't have anything against hetero relationships. Just a weird quirk of mine.
 

binarysoap

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How close do 2 females have to be to be considered yuri?

I am currently writing a non-R18 story with 2 females as the main characters. Their relationship is purely platonic (it kind of has to be since they are underage). They wouldn't be found kissing each other or anything of that sort, but they do have a strong sense of companionship for each other, and they are totally okay with doing physical contact with each other, such as hold hands or taking a bath together. Does this count as yuri?
 

Kotohood

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How close do 2 females have to be to be considered yuri?

I am currently writing a non-R18 story with 2 females as the main characters. Their relationship is purely platonic (it kind of has to be since they are underage). They wouldn't be found kissing each other or anything of that sort, but they do have a strong sense of companionship for each other, and they are totally okay with doing physical contact with each other, such as hold hands or taking a bath together. Does this count as yuri?
Isn't that basically Shoujo-Ai? I mean for Yuri it has to be romantically involved doesn't it?

Don't take my word for it though. It's just my two cents.
 

Moonpearl

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How close do 2 females have to be to be considered yuri?

I am currently writing a non-R18 story with 2 females as the main characters. Their relationship is purely platonic (it kind of has to be since they are underage). They wouldn't be found kissing each other or anything of that sort, but they do have a strong sense of companionship for each other, and they are totally okay with doing physical contact with each other, such as hold hands or taking a bath together. Does this count as yuri?

They're strictly friends but you're going to do extremely subtle ship teasing for them? No, we call that "yuribait".
Sometimes stronger yuribait makes it into the very lower end of "shoujo ai" on NU and thus becomes "Girls' Love".
And yet I've also seen that torn off of such novels too.
(Madoka Magica is not Girls' Love despite its numerous ship teases, though, and I'll take that as the standard.)

If you do try and label that Girls' Love, I would prepare for backlash/disappointment from your readers.

But being underage doesn't mean that they can't still fall in love, kiss, and be a happy couple, right? Just don't put them in sexual situations.
 
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Ai-chan

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Isn't that basically Shoujo-Ai? I mean for Yuri it has to be romantically involved doesn't it?

Don't take my word for it though. It's just my two cents.
Ai-chan would like to point out that the Japanese do not use the term Shoujo-Ai as it refers to pedophilia. The term shoujo ai is an English bastardization of the words after assuming that 'shoujo' 少女 is girl and 'ai' is love. In reality, shoujo 少女 (little female) refers specifically to underaged girls and any real Japanese person would cringe at hearing the term 'shoujo ai' as it carry the words 'little female' and 'love'.

Yet, westerners refuse to change this and even tried to erase history from wikipedia by saying that since this term has fallen out of use, it's okay for them to redefine the term. In reality, shoujo ai and shounen ai both existed in the Meiji era and used specifically for literature involving pedophilia, a fact that some westerners are trying to stomp out because it's no longer in use even in Japan.

Yuri is the more romantic/less smutty version of resubian (lesbian) first coined by Yurihime (Princess Lily) publication to bring forth a more innocent girls love that doesn't involve either passionate sex or rough, deviant sex. Yuri covers everything from school love without sex to adult love with sex. In term of porn, yuri is more like a softcore/nonnude compared to the hardcore of resubian.

If despite this information you still want to use the term shoujo ai, that's up to you. Just know that you should never say that to a real Japanese or someone who knows Japanese because we're seriously tormented by whether or not we want to correct them, scold them or just run away. You can't really scold foreigners for linguistic or cultural faux pas, but cringy stuff is still cringy.

On scribblehub, if Ai-chan is not mistaken, @Tony has removed the distinction and simplified it into Girls Love, which is fine. Western word for 'girl' doesn't distinguish age.
 

Moonpearl

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Ai-chan would like to point out that the Japanese do not use the term Shoujo-Ai as it refers to pedophilia. The term shoujo ai is an English bastardization of the words after assuming that 'shoujo' 少女 is girl and 'ai' is love. In reality, shoujo 少女 (little female) refers specifically to underaged girls and any real Japanese person would cringe at hearing the term 'shoujo ai' as it carry the words 'little female' and 'love'.

Yet, westerners refuse to change this and even tried to erase history from wikipedia by saying that since this term has fallen out of use, it's okay for them to redefine the term. In reality, shoujo ai and shounen ai both existed in the Meiji era and used specifically for literature involving pedophilia, a fact that some westerners are trying to stomp out because it's no longer in use even in Japan.

Yuri is the more romantic/less smutty version of resubian (lesbian) first coined by Yurihime (Princess Lily) publication to bring forth a more innocent girls love that doesn't involve either passionate sex or rough, deviant sex. Yuri covers everything from school love without sex to adult love with sex. In term of porn, yuri is more like a softcore/nonnude compared to the hardcore of resubian.

If despite this information you still want to use the term shoujo ai, that's up to you. Just know that you should never say that to a real Japanese or someone who knows Japanese because we're seriously tormented by whether or not we want to correct them, scold them or just run away. You can't really scold foreigners for linguistic or cultural faux pas, but cringy stuff is still cringy.

On scribblehub, if Ai-chan is not mistaken, @Tony has removed the distinction and simplified it into Girls Love, which is fine. Western word for 'girl' doesn't distinguish age.

It's difficult to stop using it entirely, unfortunately. Some people get worried that non-sexual yuri isn't allowed in yuri spaces if you don't go out of your way to specify "shoujo ai", and until NU stops using it as a category, we'll have to acknowledge the tag and the division.

I wonder if it might help to put this sort of information in the OP here and in the Yuri Garden. Would you be alright with me linking to your explanation post in both? I don't think I could explain it as well as you.
 

Ai-chan

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It's difficult to stop using it entirely, unfortunately. Some people get worried that non-sexual yuri isn't allowed in yuri spaces if you don't go out of your way to specify "shoujo ai", and until NU stops using it as a category, we'll have to acknowledge the tag and the division.

I wonder if it might help to put this sort of information in the OP here and in the Yuri Garden. Would you be alright with me linking to your explanation post in both? I don't think I could explain it as well as you.
If you want, you can, Ai-chan has no problem with it. But there will certainly be people who disagree because they didn't want to stop using the term. So it's up to you, Ai-chan doesn't mind either way.

As for NU, Ai-chan did ask Tony before, but he said it wasn't his choice and the tag was copied from mangaupdates.
 
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