To listen too or not listen to a suggestion from my story's comment section?

[Storymask]

I receive the following suggestion in the comment section of my story on another site, but it's been on my mind now so I thought I'd get it out of my head and put them (them being thoughts) onto these forums:
******** comment/suggestion from a reader ******************

big sister big sister

little brother little brother

If you're going to write it in English then don't do that, it's annoying to read. No one in real life over the age of 6 will say that. Establish that she is older then simply call her your sister. There's no need to continuously say "Big Sister" or "Little Brother". If you're trying to stay true to Japanese anime, then call her Onee-chan, because while the two mean the same thing, our societies have different methods of everyday speech and in English speaking socity "Big Sister" is used when you have more than one sister and your talking to someone else about one of your sisters and need to differintiate between the two.

even callin her "sister" is a bit too formal too.... "hey sis, whatcha doin' " is perfectly normal speech. It's certainly not proper, but there's a difference between speech and writting. When you're writting dialoge you want to reflect actual speech.

******** My Reply to Commentor ****************

Hello... thanks for taking the time to give me some input as to how you see the usage of their terms of endearment for one another. I guess the way I have them lovingly teasing each other about their heights by Michael calling his short older sister Big Sister, and her returning the favor by calling the tall Michael little brother doesn't go over so well for you.

I'll look into it on my free time this weekend and gather some more information and advice on the topic. I do thank you for pointing out how you see it.

Thinking maybe switching to Lil bro and Big Sis... oh well... too much to do IRL right now so I'll think more on it later...

********* End My Reply *************

So that was the message I received and my reply to said message. It's not the first time I've received suggestion (think it's my third) but its the first one that I'm not sure I agree with and it got me thinking about many things about my story.

1. What is the genre I'm writing for and in what order of importance. I did say in the synopsis section that I was writing a simple, light-hearted novel that was influenced by light novels, anime, and mangas. And that it was geared towards young adults but that is still very broad.

Then I thought what about the categories my story is listed in, which ones are more important and better fit my story? I came up with the following in order of importance:

1. Slice of Life
2. Gender Bender
3. Lit RPG
4. Crafting
5. Virtual Reality

There are others but those are the main ones. Since I put a Slice of Life first... I feel as the two siblings teasing each other with such terms of endearment as “little brother” and “Big Sister” fits. Especially with the type of story I'm trying to write which leans more to the fluffy light-hearted side.

And he (meaning the commentator with the suggestion) is the only one that brought it up amongst my readers so far, which doesn't mean that others that remain silent don't feel the same. But on the flip side, there may be more that do see the playful nature/usage of these terms of endearment.

Really, it's hard deciding whether to go back and change all of those usages amongst them... will doing so lose a bit of the story's charm or will it improve it?

How the heck does an author even know? Lol

I thought about it and wrote a backstory on how they've been using said terms since 6th grade (they're now in high school: junior and senior) and how they still use it to this very day lovingly/caringly without caring about how others feel about them doing so. But that will add 6 paragraphs to chapter 1 and some people who are there for the lit RPG and Virtual Reality world may get upset since they want to get into the virtual world while the Slice of Life crowd may actually enjoy such an addition.

One could go crazy thinking about such things lol

Oh well, I'll just think on it some more before jumping the gun and making changes that will affect my story in ways I don't know.

Well, that about sums it up. Thanks to those of you who listened... much appreciated and please feel free to comment or share similar experiences. It's nice as a first time writer of such stories to have someplace to get these thoughts out of my head so that I can get back to focusing on future chapters. These thoughts can really block creativity... well... at least for me it can... lol.

 

[cyanwaw]

You're the author so it's up to you how you want them to call each other, especially if they have a history. But at least from my experience, people don't call each other little brother or big sister, but they will call someone little or lil bro and big sis. In my part of the United States however, most people will just call their siblings by name or say bro and sis. I do think that it sounds weird in English to call someone big/little brother or sister and it feels more like a Japanese thing, and I've seen people use Japanese words to get the feeling that you see in Japanese media across since it doesn't really exist in English. However, depending on the scenario you could use them, especially if the characters are fucking around. But most often than not, it'll just be them using their names or saying bro and sis.

At the end of the day it's still up to you, I think most readers understand the sentiment since most people are acquainted with Japanese literature and can understand the sentiment, so most people might not be bothered by it since they're used to reading such things.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

I receive the following suggestion in the comment section of my story on another site, but it's been on my mind now so I thought I'd get it out of my head and put them (them being thoughts) onto these forums:
******** comment/suggestion from a reader ******************

big sister big sister

little brother little brother

If you're going to write it in English then don't do that, it's annoying to read. No one in real life over the age of 6 will say that. Establish that she is older then simply call her your sister. There's no need to continuously say "Big Sister" or "Little Brother". If you're trying to stay true to Japanese anime, then call her Onee-chan, because while the two mean the same thing, our societies have different methods of everyday speech and in English speaking socity "Big Sister" is used when you have more than one sister and your talking to someone else about one of your sisters and need to differintiate between the two.

even callin her "sister" is a bit too formal too.... "hey sis, whatcha doin' " is perfectly normal speech. It's certainly not proper, but there's a difference between speech and writting. When you're writting dialoge you want to reflect actual speech.

******** My Reply to Commentor ****************

Hello... thanks for taking the time to give me some input as to how you see the usage of their terms of endearment for one another. I guess the way I have them lovingly teasing each other about their heights by Michael calling his short older sister Big Sister, and her returning the favor by calling the tall Michael little brother doesn't go over so well for you.

I'll look into it on my free time this weekend and gather some more information and advice on the topic. I do thank you for pointing out how you see it.

Thinking maybe switching to Lil bro and Big Sis... oh well... too much to do IRL right now so I'll think more on it later...

********* End My Reply *************

So that was the message I received and my reply to said message. It's not the first time I've received suggestion (think it's my third) but its the first one that I'm not sure I agree with and it got me thinking about many things about my story.

1. What is the genre I'm writing for and in what order of importance. I did say in the synopsis section that I was writing a simple, light-hearted novel that was influenced by light novels, anime, and mangas. And that it was geared towards young adults but that is still very broad.

Then I thought what about the categories my story is listed in, which ones are more important and better fit my story? I came up with the following in order of importance:

1. Slice of Life
2. Gender Bender
3. Lit RPG
4. Crafting
5. Virtual Reality

There are others but those are the main ones. Since I put a Slice of Life first... I feel as the two siblings teasing each other with such terms of endearment as “little brother” and “Big Sister” fits. Especially with the type of story I'm trying to write which leans more to the fluffy light-hearted side.

And he (meaning the commentator with the suggestion) is the only one that brought it up amongst my readers so far, which doesn't mean that others that remain silent don't feel the same. But on the flip side, there may be more that do see the playful nature/usage of these terms of endearment.

Really, it's hard deciding whether to go back and change all of those usages amongst them... will doing so lose a bit of the story's charm or will it improve it?

How the heck does an author even know? Lol

I thought about it and wrote a backstory on how they've been using said terms since 6th grade (they're now in high school: junior and senior) and how they still use it to this very day lovingly/caringly without caring about how others feel about them doing so. But that will add 6 paragraphs to chapter 1 and some people who are there for the lit RPG and Virtual Reality world may get upset since they want to get into the virtual world while the Slice of Life crowd may actually enjoy such an addition.

One could go crazy thinking about such things lol

Oh well, I'll just think on it some more before jumping the gun and making changes that will affect my story in ways I don't know.

Well, that about sums it up. Thanks to those of you who listened... much appreciated and please feel free to comment or share similar experiences. It's nice as a first time writer of such stories to have someplace to get these thoughts out of my head so that I can get back to focusing on future chapters. These thoughts can really block creativity... well... at least for me it can... lol.

Big Brother is fine if the setting is that the two are from a Noble family, or similar well-off family. It denotes a sense of respect and even formality appropriate for such settings. This doesn't mean they have a more distant relationship, however, just that they are taught to be prim and proper.

Big sister, that doesn't sound right no matter what.

That aside, look at the differences between these:

"Yes, big brother."--formal, respectful.

" eh? Big bro, what're you doing? My treasure, ah!" Casual, light

"yo~ whats up, lil bro?" Teasing, playful


"Hey, big sister." Or even "big sister, what're you doing?"... Yeah. Awkward as fuck.

Unless it's use as a, introduction. Even then saying older sister when introducing her as such is still better sounding. Elder sister? Even worse than saying big sister. Never use in normal conversation, except in introductions. And only if you for some reason feel the need to introduce them as being older. I would just say, " she's my sister"

Rough examples, but...see? They give off different impressions. Saying "yo~ whats up, big brother?" Just doesn't sound quite as lighthearted and that's cuz the words big brother, in themselves, dont fit the casualness of the rest of the sentence.

So whatever you use, maybe use them in dialogue with which the words themselves fit into more naturally.

As for just saying bro, if the speaker is a girl then never use that by itself without the "lil" thing. Why? Cuz that make it sound like an episode of Brattysis and you don't want that, eh?....or do you?

It's like "oh bro, you're just so FUNNY!" Fake as hell

I never hear girls use just bro. Never. It just SOUNDS unnatural if they say it.

Well. That said, it's your story. Use whatever you want, really.

What this all boils down to is:
lil bro/sis you should prolly mainly use.
Big brother, for a formal tone.
Big sister, never.
Bro, never.

 

[Kotohood]

Who gives a crap. We write to tell a story not to mimic real life. The speech doesn't have to translate 100% to real life. The stories don't anyways why should the dialogue be the same?

While it may sound awkward as everyday speech. If you are writing with Japanese influence and japanese inspiration in mind then continue doing so.

If it sounds too awkward you have other ways to say it like Big sis, elder sister, sis, etc etc.


In the end it's up to you as the author to decide. This is just my two cents. There are no rules to these kinds of things afterall.

 

[tiaf]

I’ve been writing a chinese themed story and I substituted “name-ge” with “Brother name” too, but none of my readers ever complained.

Sometimes I use the chinese honorific sometimes I use an English equivalent. It depends on what kind of mood I want create.

If your readers are complaining, then they feel it’s awkward. But if you think it’s appropriate, then go for it!

As a test you can replace the addressing in one of your chapter and compare it with the original. (CupcakeNinja’s suggestions are pretty realistic) Or you just open a poll and ask your readers what they think, but it’s still comes down to what you like.

 

[Wintertime]

Contextualization is important for the immersion of said novel, however, it is up to you what you want to do with it.

 

[S-Scherr]

I've one character who is big preacher who calls his friend, a much smaller ex-school teacher, "Little Brother". It's a joke between them. Now, he doesn't always call him that, especially when the mood is not light. Perhaps it's the overuse of the teasing terms your siblings express towards each other that make it sound awkward or even distracting? I wouldn't know because I'm not familiar with your story. Do they always call each other by those names you mentioned? If not, perhaps you can mix it up when the mood is appropriate. Just a suggestion. As others have already said, you're the author. This is your call to make since you know the story and how these characters interact ;)

 

[Storymask]

Thanks all for taking the time to comment and offer up some insights and advice. I thought about it some more and discovered 2 reasons why they calling each other little brother and Big Sister didn't seem so odd to me:

1. I'm 1 ft taller than my oldest sister... and yup, she would introduce me to her friends as her little brother and I would in kind say “yup... that's my Big Sister/Sis”... so I guess I am a bit of an odd duck that way. And yes, it lasted through high school. But that didn't mean we addressed each other that way 24/7... but it was often enough to leave an imprint in my memories.

2. Whenever I'm not reading some light-hearted light novels and web novels... I read Wuxia and the such. And it hit me that they use those terms a ton. Albeit with different meanings and intentions, but the fact that they use it a lot helped to normalize its usage to me. (As mentioned by tiaf)

This leads me to my decision. I will have them use it where I see fit, where they appear to be playfully teasing one another. But during other times I'll use Lil' bro or their names will be used. So thank you all for your help since I'm using a bit of each of your advice.

 

[YuriDoggo]

Personal experience:
If my little sister is talking to me in Chinese, she'll say ge-ge (big brother), but she'll call our younger brother by his name.
In English, she'll call me by my name, same to our little brother.
I'll call her by her name in both Chinese and English.

The only time I'll ever call refer to her as/call her little sister (Chinese or English), it will be during introductions to clarify how she is related to me and never again.

If I'm going to write, the above is the format that I will follow (the English version) since it's what most natural to me. I'm not one to sacrifice readability for "authenticity" since in the end what matters is how well the novel reads.