Writing Prompt Tragedy of a villainess

CheertheSecond

The second coming of CheertheDead
Joined
Nov 15, 2022
Messages
618
Points
78
Setting:

A villainess betrayed her family, husband, servants, friends then she was in turn betrayed by those she thought was her true friends. She returned to the past now knowing who truly love her. She wanted to make up.

Unknowingly those she betrayed also had a part of the memories of their past lives. They didn’t believe her efforts were genuine.

As they turned their back onto her and treated her coldly, she lost her self-esteem and believed it was her punishment.

When she finished the last ordeal and secured the future for both her and her loved ones, her loved ones finally know her heart. However, at the surprise banquet they made for her, they found only a cold body being deprived of love and wallowed in self-loathing hanging on the ceiling.

Prompt:
Make the last chapter about the individual thought of the side characters who failed her.

Attempt:
Scroll down to see the small chapter I made.
 
Last edited:

Corty

Spaghetti Monster
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
2,223
Points
128
I'm just popping in to say that amongst the past few hardcore prompts of yours, this is honestly a great one. I'd pay to see a (good)movie about this idea.
 

TotallyHuman

It's good to be home.
Joined
Feb 13, 2019
Messages
4,002
Points
183
Pov: mother
I saw the mansion as I was getting off the carriage. This is such a nostalgic place, our summer villa.

I used to love this place back when my husband was still alive, God may rest his soul. Lilia also enjoyed her vacations here...

When did I go wrong in the previous life? Did I not love her enough? Did I demand too much? Until now I couldn't understand what went wrong.

But it will all change, starting today.

I will be first to admit that I was wrong to push all of the blame on Lilia. I, as her mother, was too selfish, too caught up in past grudges, to blind and arrogant to forgive and forget.

It must have been difficult for my little girl to be so alone. To be distrusted. Just thinking of it hurts my heart. God, why was I so stupid? I should've forgiven her ages ago.

But it will all change today. This time it will be me asking for forgiveness. Lilia has shown plenty of times that she has changed, has grown as a person. It is time to change for me too.

For all of us. I, my son, Lilia's fiancee, her friends and even her servants all planned to come here today unannounced, wanting to surprise Lilia.

Frankly, it feels more like we were too thin-skinned to just ask for an appointment.

I was the first to arrive, and I went in without waiting.

The villa was dark and quiet. Lilia was all alone here and this place was too big for just one person. Was Lilia living like this all this time? Oh, my poor, poor baby.

"Lilia?", I received no answer. She probably wasn't on this floor then. I took the stairs.

"Lilia?", again no answer. She must be in the study then. It was sound-proof, as I recalled.

I opened the think oak door and-

"Li-! Oh God, Lilia!", my blood ran cold. No, no, God please make it a lie!

"Lilia! My baby! No! It can't be!", I looked at the bloodless body. Oh God, please don't let this be true. It must be a dream.

But the painfully cold temperature of Lilia's hand told me otherwise. She wasn't breathing.

The knife was sticking out of her chest, her white dressed marred by blood.

Why?! Why did Lilia do this?

It was our fault. We cretints, imbeciles, idiots. Because of our useless pride we-! She was just a little girl! Only seventeen!

It was all my fault! Why couldn't I forgive? She was my daughter. I should've trusted her, I should've listened to her.

BUT I DIDN'T! I just dismissed her! My own stupid and useless self pushed my own flesh and blood to t- to this.

Tears fell from my face, I was sobbing and my heart felt like it would jump out of my chest. But what worth were these tears? Would they bring my Lilia back?

God, not Lilia! She didn't deserve such an end! If anybody deserves to have their life taken, let it be me!

I took out the knife from Lilia's chest, it slid off without resistance. Placing it against my own heart, I closed my heart.

"No, don't!"

"Lilia?!", I felt like I heard her. But the study was empty, only my sobs and me here.

And Lilia's body. Nothing I did would return her. Would I sully her resting place with another scene of death? A death that would be just as useless as the pride that rejected her, that drove her to her end? A death that would only serve to satisfy my vanity for a brief moment. No, this would not do.

I felt lost as those words escaped my head. Escaped, and I couldn't take them back. Just as I couldn't bring back Lilia.

I felt strength living my body. I've never felt so powerless. Slugishness took over. I just stared at Lilia's body on my knees with empty eyes. I didn't even notice the commotion that happened when the others found me and Lilia. I didn't notice when they carried Lilia from the study, nor did I notice when they carried me away either.

The rest of the days passed in a blur. I cannot recall them at all.

I only came to when I was at the funeral. At my daughter's funeral. I still can't believe them.

My son, Pierre, was the one who organised it. He looked haggard. I should've helped him. He looked at me with a worried gaze.

What a mother I am. I have failed both of my children.

No! That's wrong! I, I can still help Pierre. Ibwasn't there for Lilia but I refuse to leave my only remaining child alone.

I managed to gather enough strength to say goodbyes to my daughter when they were laying her to rest.

My dear Lilia, if you are watching from Heavens. Forgive your mother for leaving you behind when you needed me so much. Even now my heart hurts as I think of you and if there is anything I could do to atone for my sins to you- But I know that I can't be forgiven.

I am sure you would say otherwise, but I cannot be forgiven. But I refuse to repeat the same mistakes with Pierre.

It's not atonement, I am only doing it to avoid repeating the worst mistake of my life.

He's grown up since then. He's now seventeen, the same age as when you- He's now engaged to a lovely girl. She's a commoner, but he went above and beyond to make society accept them. I have met her, and I can see that she loves him back. She's a lovely girl, I can trust her with my son, with your brother.

What would you think if you saw them? Would you blame Pierre for moving on? No, you weren't this kind of person. You were earnest and true to your feelings - both in this and the previous life. Would you bless them? I am sure you would.

Lilia, if you went on to another life again, I hope that the me there will treat you right. Since I am not at your side, there must be someone else in my place. I no longer have a place as your mother. I deserve it. I can only pray that that mother will be there for you when you need her, that she'll love you regardless of circumstances.

AUTHOR NOTE: This was long. Not writing other pov's
 

Zirrboy

Fueled by anger
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
1,135
Points
153
I honestly didn't want to come. Not because I doubt her sincerity - the sister I know would never be as stupid to sacrifice this much if she wanted to use us again. But no matter how much she suffered I could never forget the stature of the heartless monster that doomed the man she supposedly loved to fall against soldiers of the Luthar emperor. Who framed her own parents of the espionage she did for the same man.

Compared to them my own grievances are not even worth mentioning, yet they're the ones getting anxious because she's taking so long. Forgiving or not aside, do none of you wonder why a woman who could spell your death sentences without even a trace of satisfaction in her eyes would do so much now?

That said, I think about that every day and am none the wiser. She's not the same she was, that is without question, and I can't help but feel a traitorous sting in my chest whenever I see the self-loathing shade she has become.

Arthur steps forward and hesitantly knocks the door. "l-Lilia, are you here?"

Silence spreads in the wing. I've never seen father as uncertain of himself as now, though I must look little better.

"We are coming in!" Arthur strides through the empty salon, then breaks into a dash as he rounds a corner. "LILIAAA, NOO"

Mother and father rush after him and I hear their sobs before my crippled leg carries me to the door of her bedchamber.

There, surrounded by the people she spurned in one life and worked herself to the bone for in the next, lies my sister, who was even less ready to move on from the past it seems.
 

CheertheSecond

The second coming of CheertheDead
Joined
Nov 15, 2022
Messages
618
Points
78
Last chapter


“My Lord.”
“Come in.”
“The celebration had been prepared. Should I bring her lordship your gifts?”
“Let’s bring them tomorrow along with the new dress. We can’t have her know about the banquet.”
“Of course, my Lord.” The butler happily replied. “Then I shall excuse myself.”

Joseph sat down in his office. He got a lot to do, to beg his wife for forgiveness.

Three years ago, he woke up from a prophetic dream, no, a nightmare. A nightmare where he watched everyone around him burned by the betrayal of his wife.

He, his butler, the head maid, his wife’s siblings are among the few people who had the prophetic dream. Each saw the future in their own perspective but we saw the same future. We saw the woman we cherished as family brought everything we care for to ruin.

Believing it was God’s divine intervention, we decided to never let the same tragedy befalls onto us again. Hence, we had been vigilant against one particular individual, my wife, the monster that wears human skin. As her betrayal came so abruptly, we can only suspect she was of a higher hand. Thus, we skilfully acted our part to not let her detect our change of heart.

We barred her from governing the territory using the excuse that she didn’t do well in the past and that her contradicting policies with the lower officials would cause problem to the territory.

The head maid discussed with us the incident where she witnessed her poisoned the orphanage. Borrowing the incident where a boy threw a rock at her, we pretended to have the siblings disposed and the teacher punished to move all of them away secretly from the territory. They may have to adapt to a new life somewhere else but it’s better than dying to my wife’s vile tricks

When she tried to open charity canteens for the northern refugees, we confronted her with the news of her importing Tokal. This common food stuff when cooked for long together with Kopas would turn poisonous. This was the same trick she did in the dream to destroy to orphanage. Only later, did she demonstrate that it can be used as preventive measure against the plague accompanied the refugees.

We intercepted her letter with a tight-lipped merchant and took her diary and notes, thinking we could prove her connection with the invaders like in the dream. Little did we know, she was not the same. She only did so to lure the greedy kings of those kingdoms into a trap that we can ambush.

What she did, she did for us. It pained my heart, seeing her broken expression when she found out how distrustful we were to her. That look when she was on her knees, hugging her diary. Perhaps knowing her secret and privacy could no longer be secured, she never kept anything written anymore.

She was always nervous when facing the people of the ducal resident. Despite our attempts, she never opened her heart again. She was always on a lookout. She acted meekly in front of the servants like an inmate in front of her wardens.

This mansion which should be her home is probably like a prison to her. The people who are supposed to serve her are probably watchers in her eyes, and she was afraid they would find faults in her.

When she found herself within my presence, her face turned pale. She probably thought I came to punish her for a crime she didn’t know. I couldn’t blame her. The past few years, I had always found excuses to reject her invitation. I rarely ever ate together with her. Our talks were brief, and it was always her who knocked on my door first. The number of time, I saw her face in a month could be counted on one hand, and when we did meet, it was me who came to demand her to rectify something she was doing in secret or accused her of a crime. I had trained my wife to be fearful of my appearance for I brought torment onto her on every account.

I tried to showered her with gifts only for her to run at me. She kneeled down and begged me to take back the gifts. Apparently, she had believed she was a sinner, and it was her duty to repent for her sins, sins she never committed. Thus, she dedicated most of her time being allowed outside to the church where she asked the fathers for forgiveness of sins she never elaborated. She was frightful of extravagant as she believed it would deepen her sins.

No matter how hard we tried to explain, she never dropped her false belief. However, if I insisted a bit forcefully, she would agree. She would keep the gifts but never tried to use them. She must have been thinking she was not in the position to say otherwise.

The head maid, Sophia, is a beautiful lady but she had been having a haggard look for a while. She blamed herself for what happened to her master. It was her idea to move the teacher and the orphaned siblings away. She never fathomed it would hurt her master that much. She never thought it was that moment where my wife stopped being near any children. The head maid unintentionally heard my wife confessed to the fathers saying she felt she commited a great sin for bringing the misfortune onto the innocent by being near them. My wife denounced herself as a devil and that her existence is sin itself. Like mud that would stain a white sheet, she wishes to protect the innocent from herself.

The head maid exhaustedly quoted the last thing she heard from the confession booth to me.

“I am sorry for what I am.”

Those words would never leave Sophia for the rest of her life. I and the butler asked Sophia to rest but she refused to leave her duty. She wished to serve my wife no matter how little to make up for the past.

I walked away from my desk. A book title fell into my sight.

“The mysterious way of Death”

This novel I spotted on my wife’s study. The head maid said my wife enjoyed it a lot. Hence, I bought one for myself, hoping I could strike a conservation with her. Sadly, I can never understand the appeal of this title. It was a sad story.

It tells the story of a queen and her children as they relived their life. In the first life, they treated the third prince born from the first queen terribly. Despite the third prince’s warning, they got into cahoot with the ambitious nobles and got them all killed. The nobles had never wanted to give them power as promised. Knowing who they should trust, they remade their second life and got close to the third prince. The second queen and her children lost their life one by one trying to save the third prince. On her death bed, the second queen entrusted the third prince with her secret.

“…That, my prince, is our story. We lived a wretched life and were given the second chance. We came to know your love. We couldn’t ask for anything more. Oh. Please don’t cry.”
“How can I not cry? My brothers… my sister…”
“My prince. David told me William’s last words. He said my firstborn died happily for he knew he was already forgiven. It was your love that gave my sons strength to face death with dignity. My daughter, Lara, is a scaredy cat but she bravely shoved you aside and bought us time to run. None of us died with any regret, so don’t let it weigh you down.”
“But…”
“Besides, we did not come back to live a long life. Rather than God, it was Death who had given us the second chance. We didn’t return to change our life, my prince. We returned to change our death. Instead of dying like a traitor and a fool, we died with your love heavy in our heart. We couldn’t ask for a better end. So don’t be sad and don’t look back, my Prince. Look forward and live on for us, live on for the parts that we couldn’t…”

I couldn’t understand the appeal of this novel, but I did understand later on that she was reading this book not as a novel but as a religious text. She must have deprived hope from it.

The theme of the sinner being forgiven. That is what she wanted. She drew hope that she would be forgiven in the end. That was why she did all she could to avoid “sins” and to repent.

“My Lord. The madam has returned.”

As usual, I tried to hide myself in a corner, knowing I would only upset her if she sees my face.

Interestingly, she didn’t appear to be distressed by my appearance.

“My Lord. You call me.” Sophia answered. She looked brighter than usual.
“Is there anything unusual today?”
“Perhaps that’s because of the recovery of Lady Grimlar.”
“What?”

Gariella Grimlar is my wife little sister. She too was betrayed by my wife in the dream, and she shared our prophetic dream. In the past, she rejected my wife using her weak body as the excuse. I know my wife was distraught by that. After her heart came to light, Lady Grimlar tried to reconnect with her older sister but my wife was never the same. She must have believed her appearance would worsen Gariella’s sickness so she had never visited. It was only recently that my wife accepted her invitation. It was a sign of change that everyone from the two estates welcomed. We wholeheartedly believed we could one day repay for our past.

That asides, Lady Grimlar’s chronic disease was incurable. It was a miracle that she is getting better. As Sophia said, perhaps my wife felt better because Lady Grimlar was getting better.

“I hope we can have diner tonight. Sophia, can you pass my invitation to my wife?”
“I am sorry, my Lord. The madam said she felt tired and would like to retire for the day.”
“Retire for the day? Then what about diner?”
“She wouldn’t have it.”
“Her health hasn’t been good lately. She can’t skip her meal. At least, bring her something like a light snack.”
“I had asked her so but the madam was adamant. I think we should listen to her wish, my Lord. We intruded her privacy and insulted her efforts. If we keep pushing our wish onto her, we will just drive her away.”
“I understand, but be sure to ask her for breakfast tomorrow.”
“Yes, my Lord.”
“Also, bring her the new dresses tomorrow too. Let her choose what she wants, and let her know of the upcoming banquet.”
“Yes, my Lord.”
“With Lady Grimlar’s recovery, I hope she could attend her sister’s banquet too.”


A new day dawned on the ducal resident.

The servants stood neatly outside their mistress’ room. They will wait for Sophia’s signal to bring in the gifts. They hoped there are at least one gift that could catch their mistress’s eyes and make her want to keep it. The atmosphere of the ducal has been cold for a long while.

Sophia gently knocked on her mistress’ door. She waited along side everyone but no reply came back.

She knocked again thinking her mistress was still tired.

After the third knock and a call, the room was still silent.

This is strange. Her mistress had never been this silent. Not that she wanted her mistress to hurriedly answered the door like a servant answering her master in the past, but this is unusual.

Sophia braved herself and announced her entrance.

Weird. There is still no reply.

She quickly entered, fearing she tried to escaped like the last time.

The last time, their madam asked a brigand to help her fake her death during an outing. Needless to say, it took months and three territories being turned upside down to find their madam living secludedly in a remote forest.

We only understood the reason why the madam acted so freely and cordially to us in the short while before that incident after she was gone.

When she was brought back her mental state was… not good. One night, she jumped out of her window breaking her ankles. Despite the injuries, she still attempted to climb over the fence to run away. It was the knights who stopped her. We didn’t want to imprison her but for her safety, bars were erected around the windows and the door to the terrace.

We knew the escape was because the Duke rejected her many attempts to divorce her. How could he have left her. It would feel like throwing away a person after they were no longer useful. The duke and none of us wanted to do so to the Duchess.

Of course, the bars were removed after the doctor judged she was more stable.

Sophia ran into the room after seeing the terrace door wide open.

She couldn’t-

Sophia spotted a chair looking out to the terrace. On the chair was her madam sleeping peacefully.

Sophia calmed herself.

The madam is still here.

She called out to the madam but oddly she stayed silent.

Feeling restless, she approached the madam. A small touch and the madam fell over the side.

Sophia’s scream vibrated through the second floor.

The servants were alarmed. The knights watched up with concerning eyes. The master rushed up to source of the sound, knowing full well where it came from.

The family doctor was called, and everyone held their breath.

As the doctor sadly left through the side gate, it became clear to everyone. The Duchess was lost to them.

Amidst the cries of sorrow, only the Duchess was smiling in her eternal sleep.

In a remote place, the brigand that helped the Duchess to escape was kept here. He was allowed to live normally per the Duchess’ request but the Duke knew well to not let him meet the Duchess or outside of his surveillance.

Joseph’s servants opened the door.

The brigand who was sitting leisurely in his living room scoffed at the sight of the Duke.

This failure of a man condemned his innocent wife, broke her will, imprisoned her by his side out of personal desire. Needless to say, the brigand hated this man with a passion. Thus, he was rather amused seeing the sour face of the Duke. Clearly something went wrong and it brought a smile on the brigand’s face.

The Duke grabbed the documents from the butler and threw it at the Brigand.

“Do you know what this is?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?”
“Why do I have to answer you?”

Thud!

The Duke punched a tooth out of the brigand’s face. He grabbed his collar.

“This thing was found under the carpet in her room. WHAT THE HELL IS IT?”

The brigand sat back and let out a chuckle. He didn’t know what happened but there is a chance.

“I will leave after answering.”
“So be it. Now SPEAK!”
“It’s a summoning circle.”
“To summon what?”
“Demons, gods, supernatural entities.”
“What did she summon?”
“Likely a demon.”
“A demon?”
“Gods rarely intervene with mortal affair. They don’t grant miracles and they aren’t the mortal servants. They don’t answer your beck and call if they don’t feel like. A demon on the other hand may be interested in a trade.”
“Trade. What trade?”
“Anything for a wish if both parties found it agreeable. The demonic usual stuff.”
“What did she wish?”
“You want to know. Why don’t you summon one and ask?”
“How dare you!”
“Something happened to her, isn’t it? Well, if knowing can bring you more despair, I will comply. Let’s summon one then.”

The brigand bit his finger and drew a circle similar to the one in the paper.

It didn’t take long for an entity with long nose to appear.

He just poof into existence in a posture that is looking at Joseph with condemning eyes.

“Who are you?” The brigand asked.
“Halluc, demon of suffering. Now speak your piece.”
“The Duchess of-”

The entity whose eyes never left Joseph cut off the brigand. “I know all of you here. State the request.”

“What did my wife wish? Who did she make her wish to?”
“You ain’t my contractor.”
“Answer his question, please.”
“She wished her sister would be well. I am her contractor.”
“YOU!”

Joseph grabbed the entity by his collar but the entity was unfazed. His eyes stared up at the taller man. His hands behind his back, dignified and imposing.

“Is she ok?” The brigand asked.
“She is dead.”
“What?”
“I don’t repeat myself.”
“How?”
“Her sister’s life approached its end. No one cheats death, not even god. To prolong one life, another is cut short. I transfer her life-force to her sister. She died as a result.”
“DAMN YOU!” Joseph screamed.
“What did she trade?”
“Her continuation.”
“Her what?”
“Just know that her soul had ceased from existed. It is nothing but primordial energy and blank state now.”
“Why? Why di-“
“To relief herself of suffering. Her life was agony. She wholeheartedly believes it was a mistake, reinforced by your mistreatment. Truly, Death works in mysterious way.”
“HOW DARE YOU!” Joseph threw hands but his hands froze in mid air.

“To be called here from another part of the omniverse, it was eye-opening to see what could have caused such tragedy. For allowing me the opportunity to come face to face with one of the chief causes of her suffering, I will not take toll for those question.” The entity looked at the brigand for the first time. Then he turned back to Joseph. “I cursed you longevity. Live a long life of happiness built on her suffering.”

With those last words, the entity disappeared into nothingness.

The funeral of Duchess was contained but long. She didn’t have friend so only her family was there.

Her possession was surprisingly small for a Duchess. Things that had her warmth barely amount to anything. She doesn’t keep note. She doesn’t write diary. She doesn’t wear jewelry or luxurious dress. When she needed she would rent it from the store and return after all. Her casual outfits are simple and in a dozen. The possession she used the most is probably her quill and a novel book. Everything else were as new as when they first came.

Her coffin disappeared after two weeks of burial. It was never found and only the things her family kept are the only remainders of her.

Gariella was now free of sickness but was left with a bleeding heart. Her sister whom she loved, hated, and loved shall never be seen again on the world she lived on. She cherished the used comb of her sister and always had it by her side even a hundred year later.

Her father and mother kept her sister’s quill and dress. It was hard for them not to see those items once per day.

Mera’s favourite novel found its place beside the Duke’s novel. Those items stay side by side like a pair never to be departed.

The chair Mera spent her last moment on was brought to the master’s room. It was cared deeply by the butler and servant. The old servants and even the Duke made a habit to talk to the chair as if there was someone on it. It along with the worn novel are among the prized possession of the Duke. They were buried together with the Duke after 163 years in his office.

On a far distant land, Halluc released a bundle of light into the course of the omniverse.
“I really envy you, Yabak.” He sighed.

Yabak is the name of a demon of joy who feasts on mortal’s happiness.
I'm just popping in to say that amongst the past few hardcore prompts of yours, this is honestly a great one. I'd pay to see a (good)movie about this idea.

Done
 
Last edited:
Top