Unpopular opinion on harems

DubstheDuke

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
301
Points
103
So, I have an unpopular opinion.
I hate harems.
The way I see it, there are a few different ways that harems can play out.
1. The main character is completely and absurdly dense, to the point where all the women in the harem fall in love with him only for him to be like 'Love? What is that? I've never heard of that before.' This is bad for very obvious reasons. It's painful to watch, and nobody gets any satisfaction in the end.
2. The main character is a complete perv and/or wants to mess around with all the women who are in love with him. Why is it, that in so much fiction, the women in a harem continuously love the man despite the fact that he is a complete scumbag, and doesn't even choose one to be with but rather puts off the decision while being with whoever is with him at the moment?
There is one series which I believe was a satirical take on this type of harem which many have probably heard of, an anime called 'school days'.
(Spoiler warning to anyone who intends to watch this, but imma be honest I wouldn't recommend watching as it will hurt your brain and your heart.)
Basically, the mc is exactly how it is described here, but the girls in this series react somewhat realistically.
Instead of clinging to him and never getting angry or depressed, the mc does end up severely hurting the people who are in love with him as he does what he wants and fails to choose a single one to be with. It's painful to watch, but makes you ask the question 'Why in most harems do the women not get hurt ever? Why do they continue to cling to the mc, and never get truly angry at him or sad that he is being bombarded by 5 other women and their assaults?' Sometimes, the women don't even consider each other as rivals but merely only focus on the mc and nothing else. It's just unrealistic, and so tailored towards what people want their own personal little world to be like. They want to be surrounded by women who will do their every beck and call, and not question the other 6 women who are doing the exact same thing. Preposterous.
3. The main character actually chooses one of the many women among the harem, hurting the ones who lost but ending up with the one who won.
This is the one that I hate the least, out of all harems, but it begs the question- why was this a harem in the first place? Just to hurt these other characters, or temporarily please the viewers at seeing the mc be ogled by many women before finally settling on one of them? Idk.

Well, my point is that harems are just painful to watch. The only reason people enjoy them is because perhaps they want to imagine themselves with a harem, but this is just.... wrong. Instead, I would much rather prefer the mc to have a single, focused love interest, or to not have one at all (Particularly in series where romance is not the focus).

This is just a rant. I'm sure many disagree with me, and I will be getting essays about the 'artistic meaning' and 'thought out character building' that composes a harem. Just, no.

This post is not referring to series which are dramas. Those are of their own genre, and completely focused on the drama itself- so I understand that. But, how many isekais do we see where the mc is surrounded by multiple women in love with him? More importantly, how many do we see that aren't like this? Very few. Why is this? It's clearly because there is a demand for it. People want it. People love it. But I, do not.
 

Bloodysin28

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
60
Points
58
Ur preference is yours if u dislike the,them blacklist the tags,harems have always existed and will exist,I'm also tired of the pretentious I'm right bullshit,the very concept of right and wrong are human constructs.so up to u.Bu males in humans are lustful by nature,it's another thing if it's another race. Regardless of what u think, in current age the top20 percentage of men are drowning in pussy,only difference is that they are casual flings are more one night stands.
 

Ace_Arriande

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
256
Points
133
For what it's worth, the vast majority of conversations I see regarding harem, whether they're on here, RR, Reddit, or any other anime community is that "harems" are bad. So, I definitely wouldn't call it an unpopular opinion. The only time I ever see praise for harems is when looking at the specific discussions for harems where, naturally, people wouldn't be commenting if they didn't like harems. Even then, I'll always see a bunch of people stating their loss of interest or leaving once they realize that a harem anime has a harem in it. If anything, I would say that this is the popular opinion. The real unpopular opinion is saying you like all those generic "harem" anime. At least, when it comes to the West. Maybe if you were to post on a Japanese board about how much you dislike harems, then you would be the one to have an unpopular opinion.

This is why you need to read about polyamorous harems where everyone gets chosen

poly "harem" gang represent
Cool kids write poly relationships and only advertise them as harem because most people don't know the difference between poly and harem when it comes to stories and calling it harem gets more views than calling it poly
 

CupcakeNinja

Pervert Supreme
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
3,066
Points
183
So, I have an unpopular opinion.
I hate harems.
The way I see it, there are a few different ways that harems can play out.
1. The main character is completely and absurdly dense, to the point where all the women in the harem fall in love with him only for him to be like 'Love? What is that? I've never heard of that before.' This is bad for very obvious reasons. It's painful to watch, and nobody gets any satisfaction in the end.
2. The main character is a complete perv and/or wants to mess around with all the women who are in love with him. Why is it, that in so much fiction, the women in a harem continuously love the man despite the fact that he is a complete scumbag, and doesn't even choose one to be with but rather puts off the decision while being with whoever is with him at the moment?
There is one series which I believe was a satirical take on this type of harem which many have probably heard of, an anime called 'school days'.
(Spoiler warning to anyone who intends to watch this, but imma be honest I wouldn't recommend watching as it will hurt your brain and your heart.)
Basically, the mc is exactly how it is described here, but the girls in this series react somewhat realistically.
Instead of clinging to him and never getting angry or depressed, the mc does end up severely hurting the people who are in love with him as he does what he wants and fails to choose a single one to be with. It's painful to watch, but makes you ask the question 'Why in most harems do the women not get hurt ever? Why do they continue to cling to the mc, and never get truly angry at him or sad that he is being bombarded by 5 other women and their assaults?' Sometimes, the women don't even consider each other as rivals but merely only focus on the mc and nothing else. It's just unrealistic, and so tailored towards what people want their own personal little world to be like. They want to be surrounded by women who will do their every beck and call, and not question the other 6 women who are doing the exact same thing. Preposterous.
3. The main character actually chooses one of the many women among the harem, hurting the ones who lost but ending up with the one who won.
This is the one that I hate the least, out of all harems, but it begs the question- why was this a harem in the first place? Just to hurt these other characters, or temporarily please the viewers at seeing the mc be ogled by many women before finally settling on one of them? Idk.

Well, my point is that harems are just painful to watch. The only reason people enjoy them is because perhaps they want to imagine themselves with a harem, but this is just.... wrong. Instead, I would much rather prefer the mc to have a single, focused love interest, or to not have one at all (Particularly in series where romance is not the focus).

This is just a rant. I'm sure many disagree with me, and I will be getting essays about the 'artistic meaning' and 'thought out character building' that composes a harem. Just, no.

This post is not referring to series which are dramas. Those are of their own genre, and completely focused on the drama itself- so I understand that. But, how many isekais do we see where the mc is surrounded by multiple women in love with him? More importantly, how many do we see that aren't like this? Very few. Why is this? It's clearly because there is a demand for it. People want it. People love it. But I, do not.
Listen buddy its FINE to hate harems. But your opinions dont matter for shit and lemme tell you why cuz i dont mean this in a bad way

***
Edit: its not an unpopular opinion either. At the very least on the surface people always complain about harems. Lots of people are taught to be monogamous so its understandable. Like i said its not very practical either. So dont feel bad about not liking them. There are very good reasons to like or to dislike harems. Especially in literature

End of edit

***

See, the reasons your opinion dont matter....IS CUZ WHY DA FUCK YOU READING HAREMS IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM?!

Dont read them. Dont care about them. They ARENT MADE FOR YOU.

Hell, ARE you reading them? If you arent, shut up. Is it bothering you even if you dont read them? So fuck off and read shit that you do like. Maybe get off your high horse and let people enjoy what they like, too, without implying its bad just cuz they have a few perfectly reasonable desires. Having a harem isnt practical. People usually want one tho, whether you a man or a woman. Its just how it is. We like the idea. Thats not wrong. Just not practical. We can be greedy, especially when it comes to wanting multiple partners.

Anyway. My tone is pretty harsh here. But i dont mean to attack you. It may sound like it but its just how i emphasis shit. You are free to like what you want and hate what.you want but you are gonna be called out if you bitch about shit that just isnt tailored to your likes to begin with cuz and that just isnt cool. Its not reasonable to complain when you can just choose not to read it. It wont effect you, so why complain? Why ruin it for other people? So yeah. Thats how it will be viewed. You can have an opinion on something but you have to realize when speaking out against it isnt something reasonable to do if it doesnt effect your lifestyle. Live and let live, you know?

Eh. Most harems arent realistically told either. Yeah. Some are, msybe, but they are VERY rare and they wont be found in asian works. Well, asians have a different mindset. I think harems were more common in their history and their views on women are still a bit behind the times, i feel.

So they wont depict harems in a realistic light. Hm. Well, given the culture maybe their depictions would actually be MORE REALISTIC? In context of said culture?
 
Last edited:

Nneeil

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
98
Points
73
So, I have an unpopular opinion.
I hate harems.
The way I see it, there are a few different ways that harems can play out.
1. The main character is completely and absurdly dense, to the point where all the women in the harem fall in love with him only for him to be like 'Love? What is that? I've never heard of that before.' This is bad for very obvious reasons. It's painful to watch, and nobody gets any satisfaction in the end.
2. The main character is a complete perv and/or wants to mess around with all the women who are in love with him. Why is it, that in so much fiction, the women in a harem continuously love the man despite the fact that he is a complete scumbag, and doesn't even choose one to be with but rather puts off the decision while being with whoever is with him at the moment?
There is one series which I believe was a satirical take on this type of harem which many have probably heard of, an anime called 'school days'.
(Spoiler warning to anyone who intends to watch this, but imma be honest I wouldn't recommend watching as it will hurt your brain and your heart.)
Basically, the mc is exactly how it is described here, but the girls in this series react somewhat realistically.
Instead of clinging to him and never getting angry or depressed, the mc does end up severely hurting the people who are in love with him as he does what he wants and fails to choose a single one to be with. It's painful to watch, but makes you ask the question 'Why in most harems do the women not get hurt ever? Why do they continue to cling to the mc, and never get truly angry at him or sad that he is being bombarded by 5 other women and their assaults?' Sometimes, the women don't even consider each other as rivals but merely only focus on the mc and nothing else. It's just unrealistic, and so tailored towards what people want their own personal little world to be like. They want to be surrounded by women who will do their every beck and call, and not question the other 6 women who are doing the exact same thing. Preposterous.
3. The main character actually chooses one of the many women among the harem, hurting the ones who lost but ending up with the one who won.
This is the one that I hate the least, out of all harems, but it begs the question- why was this a harem in the first place? Just to hurt these other characters, or temporarily please the viewers at seeing the mc be ogled by many women before finally settling on one of them? Idk.

Well, my point is that harems are just painful to watch. The only reason people enjoy them is because perhaps they want to imagine themselves with a harem, but this is just.... wrong. Instead, I would much rather prefer the mc to have a single, focused love interest, or to not have one at all (Particularly in series where romance is not the focus).

This is just a rant. I'm sure many disagree with me, and I will be getting essays about the 'artistic meaning' and 'thought out character building' that composes a harem. Just, no.

This post is not referring to series which are dramas. Those are of their own genre, and completely focused on the drama itself- so I understand that. But, how many isekais do we see where the mc is surrounded by multiple women in love with him? More importantly, how many do we see that aren't like this? Very few. Why is this? It's clearly because there is a demand for it. People want it. People love it. But I, do not.
What is your point exactly my friend? I get that you hate harems, but calling a popular 'genre' wrong is a bit uncalled for. No one stops you from ranting, and I'm sure you had no ill meaning when pointing out the mistakes and issues that comes with a harem and all the shenanigans our dear Asian protagonists go through, but be mindful of what you write, and how you word it. Now, given that I'm an author that writes mainly harem stories (with tags of questionable morals) you might think that I'm biased, which would not be untrue lol, but hey... I do get where you're coming from, really. The problem is that Japanese novels don't really depict how a true 'harem' works. They just think that the power of love and friendship will solve all the shit. XD

Edit: Also, I feel that this thread might spark some sort of war between harem lovers and harem haters. If that happens I'd like to take the charge as the commander-in-chief for the 'milfs ftw' platoon. :D
 

Bloodysin28

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
60
Points
58
Listen buddy its FINE to hate harems. But your opinions dont matter for shit and lemme tell you why cuz i dont mean this in a bad way

***
Edit: its not an unpopular opinion either. At the very least on the surface people always complain about harems. Lots of people are taught to be monogamous so its understandable. Like i said its not very practical either. So dont feel bad about not liking them. There are very good reasons to like or to dislike harems. Especially in literature

End of edit

***

See, the reasons your opinion dont matter....IS CUZ WHY DA FUCK YOU READING HAREMS IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM?!

Dont read them. Dont care about them. They ARENT MADE FOR YOU.

Hell, ARE you reading them? If you arent, shut up. Is it bothering you even if you dont read them? So fuck off and read shit that you do like. Maybe get off your high horse and let people enjoy what they like, too, without implying its bad just cuz they have a few perfectly reasonable desires. Having a harem isnt practical. People usually want one tho, whether you a man or a woman. Its just how it is. We like the idea. Thats not wrong. Just not practical. We can be greedy, especially when it comes to wanting multiple partners.

Anyway. My tone is pretty harsh here. But i dont mean to attack you. It may sound like it but its just how i emphasis shit. You are free to like what you want and hate what.you want but you are gonna be called out if you bitch about shit that just isnt tailored to your likes to begin with cuz and that just isnt cool. Its not reasonable to complain when you can just choose not to read it. It wont effect you, so why complain? Why ruin it for other people? So yeah. Thats how it will be viewed. You can have an opinion on something but you have to realize when speaking out against it isnt something reasonable to do if it doesnt effect your lifestyle. Live and let live, you know?

Eh. Most harems arent realistically told either. Yeah. Some are, msybe, but they are VERY rare and they wont be found in asian works. Well, asians have a different mindset. I think harems were more common in their history and their views on women are still a bit behind the times, i feel.

So they wont depict harems in a realistic light. Hm. Well, given the culture maybe their depictions would actually be MORE REALISTIC? In context of said culture?
Finally a logical comeback.
 
D

Deleted member 29316

Guest
Listen buddy its FINE to hate harems. But your opinions dont matter for shit and lemme tell you why cuz i dont mean this in a bad way

***
Edit: its not an unpopular opinion either. At the very least on the surface people always complain about harems. Lots of people are taught to be monogamous so its understandable. Like i said its not very practical either. So dont feel bad about not liking them. There are very good reasons to like or to dislike harems. Especially in literature

End of edit

***

See, the reasons your opinion dont matter....IS CUZ WHY DA FUCK YOU READING HAREMS IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM?!

Dont read them. Dont care about them. They ARENT MADE FOR YOU.

Hell, ARE you reading them? If you arent, shut up. Is it bothering you even if you dont read them? So fuck off and read shit that you do like. Maybe get off your high horse and let people enjoy what they like, too, without implying its bad just cuz they have a few perfectly reasonable desires. Having a harem isnt practical. People usually want one tho, whether you a man or a woman. Its just how it is. We like the idea. Thats not wrong. Just not practical. We can be greedy, especially when it comes to wanting multiple partners.

Anyway. My tone is pretty harsh here. But i dont mean to attack you. It may sound like it but its just how i emphasis shit. You are free to like what you want and hate what.you want but you are gonna be called out if you bitch about shit that just isnt tailored to your likes to begin with cuz and that just isnt cool. Its not reasonable to complain when you can just choose not to read it. It wont effect you, so why complain? Why ruin it for other people? So yeah. Thats how it will be viewed. You can have an opinion on something but you have to realize when speaking out against it isnt something reasonable to do if it doesnt effect your lifestyle. Live and let live, you know?

Eh. Most harems arent realistically told either. Yeah. Some are, msybe, but they are VERY rare and they wont be found in asian works. Well, asians have a different mindset. I think harems were more common in their history and their views on women are still a bit behind the times, i feel.

So they wont depict harems in a realistic light. Hm. Well, given the culture maybe their depictions would actually be MORE REALISTIC? In context of said culture?
Also, if I may add, we Asians are taught to be reserved when it comes to the opposite sex, that's why you get a lot of 'dense' characters. If you ever encounter a real-life Asian who's pretty liberal when it comes to these things, mostly, they have been exposed to Western culture, or have been in the West themselves.

Western assertiveness when it comes to the opposite sex is actually frowned upon by a largely conservative Asian mindset. What some might actually like about their MC (would intimately engage anyone who'd show motives, etc.) might actually land them in jail IRL for being a pervert...or worse, get mugged by the girl's friends. Unless, of course, you're in a red light district.

Heck, we even have a case here where a lady (foreigner) got reprimanded by the police for wearing a string swimsuit in a beach. They say it's disturbing public morals.

It's not that we're backward, but that's how our cultures are.
 

CupcakeNinja

Pervert Supreme
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
3,066
Points
183
What is your point exactly my friend? I get that you hate harems, but calling a popular 'genre' wrong is a bit uncalled for. No one stops you from ranting, and I'm sure you had no ill meaning when pointing out the mistakes and issues that comes with a harem and all the shenanigans our dear Asian protagonists go through, but be mindful of what you write, and how you word it. Now, given that I'm an author that writes mainly harem stories (with tags of questionable morals) you might think that I'm biased, which would not be untrue lol, but hey... I do get where you're coming from, really. The problem is that Japanese novels don't really depict how a true 'harem' works. They just think that the power of love and friendship will solve all the shit. XD

Edit: Also, I feel that this thread might spark some sort of war between harem lovers and harem haters. If that happens I'd like to take the charge as the commander-in-chief for the 'milfs ftw' platoon. :D
How long you wanna say before this thread is locked? I saw this kinda topic on the main site all the time back in the day. Always gets locked
 

K5Rakitan

Level 34 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
8,162
Points
233
Eh. Most harems arent realistically told either. Yeah. Some are, msybe, but they are VERY rare and they wont be found in asian works. Well, asians have a different mindset. I think harems were more common in their history and their views on women are still a bit behind the times, i feel.

That's quite a generalization about Asians. There is a huge amount of diversity in Asian cultures when it comes to traditional relationship styles.

And that's just China! Fraternal polyandry is traditional in Tibet, Nepal, and India. Ever heard of Draupadi?
 

CupcakeNinja

Pervert Supreme
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
3,066
Points
183
Also, if I may add, we Asians are taught to be reserved when it comes to the opposite sex, that's why you get a lot of 'dense' characters. If you ever encounter a real-life Asian who's pretty liberal when it comes to these things, mostly, they have been exposed to Western culture, or have been in the West themselves.

Western assertiveness when it comes to the opposite sex is actually frowned upon by a largely conservative Asian mindset. What some might actually like about their MC (would intimately engage anyone who'd show motives, etc.) might actually land them in jail IRL for being a pervert...or worse, get mugged by the girl's friends. Unless, of course, you're in a red light district.

Heck, we even have a case here where a lady (foreigner) got reprimanded by the police for wearing a string swimsuit in a beach. They say it's disturbing public morals.

It's not that we're backward, but that's how our cultures are.
Oh i didnt known that. Does history really have harems be more commonplace, then? Im thinking imperial harems or nobles with harems. In the west nobles kept concubines but i dont know it that was very common or not.

But yeah harems are usually common in xianxia novels and those sre often based on ancient china, right? So i would think harems just fit into that kind of setting better
 

CupcakeNinja

Pervert Supreme
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
3,066
Points
183
That's quite a generalization about Asians. There is a huge amount of diversity in Asian cultures when it comes to traditional relationship styles.

And that's just China! Fraternal polyandry is traditional in Tibet, Nepal, and India. Ever heard of Draupadi?
Yeah i meant more imperial harems and the like. Obviously the common man wont have been able to support harems. Western Civilizations had harems. Concubines. I just thought that it was a little more common in asian countries among the nobility. Since i think in the medieval ages we already had the Christian god with his monogamy thing. Im not sure if Asian countries had any similar influences from their gods or whatever they had
 

CupcakeNinja

Pervert Supreme
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
3,066
Points
183
Lame. I wanted to see this thread blow up and relish in the chaos it would have sown mwhuhahahaha... nah kidding. Let bygones be bygones
Hm did you quote the right things there? The last ine makes sense but i think you misquoted for the other two

Edit: nevermind it showed you quoting that three times. Maybe you already edited it
 
D

Deleted member 29316

Guest
Oh i didnt known that. Does history really have harems be more commonplace, then? Im thinking imperial harems or nobles with harems. In the west nobles kept concubines but i dont know it that was very common or not.

But yeah harems are usually common in xianxia novels and those sre often based on ancient china, right? So i would think harems just fit into that kind of setting better
Asian harems also pertain to concubines, and also, the men (Eunuchs) and women (Maids) who serve the Imperial household.

For the more common situations, in Japan, a distinguished person may marry a lady of standing for the purpose of child-bearing. For sexual entertainment, they'd hire prostitutes called Oirans.

In our country (Philippines), those who practice polygamy are the Moros (Muslims) to the south. Mostly, we practice monogamous relationships based on the Christian Catholic dogma. However, it's not uncommon to find well-off households having extramarital affairs (though it's frowned upon).

In boy-girl relationships, boys are taught to respect women (in a gentleman-ly manner) and girls are usually taught home-making skills. It might raise some eyebrows, but that's how our education is.

But in any case, women here can also get same treatment as the men, in career, in politics, etc.
 

Nneeil

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2019
Messages
98
Points
73
Hm did you quote the right things there? The last ine makes sense but i think you misquoted for the other two

Edit: nevermind it showed you quoting that three times. Maybe you already edited it
Yeaah my bad, I had refreshed the page twice to see the new replies and didn't know the reply I was writing was saved :P
 
D

Deleted member 29316

Guest
Asian harems also pertain to concubines, and also, the men (Eunuchs) and women (Maids) who serve the Imperial household.

For the more common situations, in Japan, a distinguished person may marry a lady of standing for the purpose of child-bearing. For sexual entertainment, they'd hire prostitutes called Oirans.

In our country (Philippines), those who practice polygamy are the Moros (Muslims) to the south. Mostly, we practice monogamous relationships based on the Christian Catholic dogma. However, it's not uncommon to find well-off households having extramarital affairs (though it's frowned upon).

In boy-girl relationships, boys are taught to respect women (in a gentleman-ly manner) and girls are usually taught home-making skills. It might raise some eyebrows, but that's how our education is.

But in any case, women here can also get same treatment as the men, in career, in politics, etc.
Even in our prehistory, we're taught to be reserved around women. Though it's kind of weird, but assertiveness is a divisive topic in a common household. There are some cases that we see it as being proud.

That's why, it's rare of you guys to see an assertive Asian character in harem stories. We like the idea, but irl, I don' t think we could handle it well (that's why it's unrealistic).
 
D

Deleted member 29316

Guest
That's quite a generalization about Asians. There is a huge amount of diversity in Asian cultures when it comes to traditional relationship styles.

And that's just China! Fraternal polyandry is traditional in Tibet, Nepal, and India. Ever heard of Draupadi?
Yep, this is right.

In some cases, it's the lady who gets the harem, like what she said here. In Bhutan, there's also a place that practices polyandry, mainly because of the shortage of lands to inherit.
 

JayDirex

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 5, 2019
Messages
582
Points
133
first of all I loved School Days! that anime blew my mind back when I was a noob! :blob_hug:

But yeah, I hate most stories with a dense MC. And of course poorly written trash. but I don't have a problem with harems, they're sexy fun!

I hated infinite stratos but I liked all the other dumb ones like asterix war and what not. they're fun. quit bein a prude! :blobrofl:

harems are awesome. you just mad cuz you don't have one.
 
D

Deleted member 29316

Guest
first of all I loved School Days! that anime blew my mind back when I was a noob! :blob_hug:

But yeah, I hate most stories with a dense MC. And of course poorly written trash. but I don't have a problem with harems, they're sexy fun!

I hated infinite stratos but I liked all the other dumb ones like asterix war and what not. they're fun. quit bein a prude! :blobrofl:

harems are awesome. you just mad cuz you don't have one.
Nice boat!

And actually, Prudishness is an Asian virtue...no joking.
 
Top