Unreliable Biased Feedback

[greyblob]

Have a look at mine, I have no prior writing experience so don't expect much. Looking to fix earlier chapters.
If you can, let me know if there are any improvements in later chapters if only a little.

Echoes of the Lost Age

Many gates are littered over the planet Gaia, These gates are connected to other worlds where long lost civilizations once flourished. The Individuals of the many races that exist on Gaia enter these gates with the hopes of acquiring power, fame and riches. These people are called explorers...

www.scribblehub.com

Chapter 6
3/5: Average

First things first, i dislike the LN style; fast paced, minimal descriptions, no body language, floating dialogues, fragmented and weird phrasings, etc. thankfully you didn't add japanese honorifics as well.
I could tell what you meant by most things. the executions were sloppy but that's probably because of your inexperience. the flow of the novel was nice, not too slow and not too fast. you addressed the mc and her master's worry and gave proper reasoning. honestly despite the poor execution, the characters were rather memorable.

i jumped to one of the later chapters and i can say that there are improvements: better sentence structuring and dialouge quality.
i could offer some advice but they wouldn't work with the current style you have. if you're interested anyway let me know

 

[J_Chemist]

Unsure as to why I'm attracted to this, as I haven't actively gone out of my way to ask for any kind of feedback before in these kinds of forums (I don't even do review swaps) but your reviews are brief and I feel they're a bit more down to earth than the others I've come to read/expect. If you are up for it, I would appreciate it if you too look at my book from your perspective, Mr. Blob; https://www.scribblehub.com/series/513014/the-blessed-child/

It may be a bit longer compared to most so feel free to only read a chapter or two. Though, as you originally posted, read to your heart's content! I do hope you enjoy it!

Be well,
-- J.C.

 

[greyblob]

It may be a bit longer compared to most so feel free to only read a chapter or two. Though, as you originally posted, read to your heart's content! I do hope you enjoy it!

I try to read more than just 1 or 2 chapters. that's why I'm almost a month late. I'll get to it whenever I can

 

[J_Chemist]

I try to read more than just 1 or 2 chapters. that's why I'm almost a month late. I'll get to it whenever I can

No problem. I appreciate your efforts and I know others do as well. Thank you for your time.

 

[greyblob]

No problem. I appreciate your efforts and I know others do as well. Thank you for your time.

honestly i just read. I'm not doing anything nearly as impressive as you suggest but thanks anyway

 

[Lire]

Is this thread still alive...?
If so, this humble newbie would like to submit his own stories!
(Just the first one is okay, but if you're feeling particularly nice, please do the other one as well!)
An Author's Survival Guide


Glimpse of Eternity

 

[greyblob]

Is this thread still alive...?

it is I'm just very very slow

 

[Lire]

it is I'm just very very slow

Wonderful! Slow is much better than dead.

 

[Ninini]

Ew genderbender, return to smut

 

[greyblob]

Thanks for your consideration. Not 100% sure if my signature is working so here it is https://www.scribblehub.com/series/531084/a-record-of-ash--ruin-the-grieving-lands/

Chapter 8 – Surprise & Respite
4.5/5: Great(?)

I have no complaints. the writing and worldbuilding are great. quality improves further in. whatever flaws i noticed weren't there in later chapters. my rating only reflects what i read. it's too early still. no meaningful character interactions or dialouges yet. though going by the current quality, I'm sure it'll be good. keep up the good work

 

[greyblob]

I would also love a review when you get the chance!
I only have the first three chapters polished, but have written about 2.5 books in this series. I've been debating if I should upload the rest of the rough chapters or not. Although they are readable, they are very clearly first drafts (and do have grammar/spelling mistakes) but I don't have the time atm to fix them. Please also let me know if you think I should upload the rest or wait until I have time to edit them more.
Thank you in advance for your help!

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/...rech-book-one-of-the-guardians-of-lajen-saga/

3.5: Slightly above average

the writing is decent though unpolished. the weakest element is the dialogue. you seem to be juggling different speech patterns from different eras. the relationship between the mother and daughter is odd.. I can't make sense of it. one moment the mother is worried and the next she wishes her dead. there is too little to make an accurate impression. I'd say wait and edit them before posting but considering you haven't logged in in a month, I doubt you're gonna see this anyway..

 

[Deleted member 93348]

Hello, greyblob. I’m not sure if you accept stuff like this, but I swear to every deity in existence, this draft of mine is this close to being a published novel. All I need to do now is write more chapters until I reach 30-50 as a full volume to publish. I even have a backstory novella in the works (still too rough for me to show, though). Anyway, I’d love to read your thoughts.

World Story 2.0

It’s “2.0” because I already had a 120+ chapter novel, that was until I learned that I never took my readers into consideration. Basically, I was being self-indulgent all the way through. Hopefully, my work is way more concise and coherent this time.

 

[greyblob]

Hello, greyblob. I’m not sure if you accept stuff like this, but I swear to every deity in existence, this draft of mine is this close to being a published novel. All I need to do now is write more chapters until I reach 30-50 as a full volume to publish. I even have a backstory novella in the works (still too rough for me to show, though). Anyway, I’d love to read your thoughts.

World Story 2.0

It’s “2.0” because I already had a 120+ chapter novel, that was until I learned that I never took my readers into consideration. Basically, I was being self-indulgent all the way through. Hopefully, my work is way more concise and coherent this time.

drafts/gdocs are fine. I just dont like forming an opinion on as little as 4 chapters. though I imagine by the pace I'm going, you'll have plenty of chance to add more. anyways, I'll get to it whenever possible.

 

[greyblob]

Den of Lions

Dante Sato's self imposed peaceful life at a foster home is interrupted when a prominent family named the Kaneko decides to adopt him due to his potential. After 6 years of being shut inside the house being trained to inherit half of the family's assets. His adoptive parents decide to enroll...

www.scribblehub.com

I would love your opinion.

Chapter 11 – Will Coffee and Potential Friends Mix Well Together?
3/5: Average

I don't have much to offer since this is another LN style writing. floating dialogues, minimal descriptions, awkward phrases and dialouge. the characters are okay? i think that's the most alive they can get with no body language or facial expressions.
the mc is odd.. sometimes he's a kid sometimes he's not. for someone who wants a boring calm school life he's strangely proactive. the pacing and flow are nice. I'd have read more but this isn't really my cup of tea.

 

[Zenkarn]

I'd throw my hat in the ring for The Garbage Gladiator if you're willing.
The second story I've started and one that has actually gripped me, so I'm interested in what you think.
Link in signature and whatnot.

 

[Vaas13]

Since most feedback threads are dead right now, and I'm trying to ignore/delay my responsibilities I have some free time, I decided on making my own.

This will be from the viewpoint of a simple-minded reader with an increasingly short attention span. I'll read until I lose interest.

Requirements:

1. 10k+ words

Restrictions:

1. Gender bender and all its subgenres (unless it's a genderless monster)
2. Girls-love
3. Boys-love

---

Highest ratings:

1. The Stormcrow Cycle by @bokhi 4.5 / 5
2. Kapal by @BenJepheneT 4.5 / 5
3. The Supernatural Case of the Accidental Time Traveler by @Paul_Tromba 4 / 5

Armageddon The Flames Book 1 Evolution - CH 2- The Hero Arrives | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Review mine please

Armageddon The Flames Book 1 Evolution - CH 2- The Hero Arrives | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Review mine please

I linked chapter 2 but start from chapter one please

 

[MediocreBob]

Since most feedback threads are dead right now, and I'm trying to ignore/delay my responsibilities I have some free time, I decided on making my own.

This will be from the viewpoint of a simple-minded reader with an increasingly short attention span. I'll read until I lose interest.

Requirements:

1. 10k+ words

Restrictions:

1. Gender bender and all its subgenres (unless it's a genderless monster)
2. Girls-love
3. Boys-love

---

Highest ratings:

1. The Stormcrow Cycle by @bokhi 4.5 / 5
2. Kapal by @BenJepheneT 4.5 / 5
3. The Supernatural Case of the Accidental Time Traveler by @Paul_Tromba 4 / 5

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/569252/life-in-prodosia/ if you don't mind giving me a review, I would appreciate it. I'm a new writer but don't hold your punches

 

[ODonn]

Hey! Let me know what you think, and thanks!

The Dreamer’s Fall

Arthur is a noble-born reincarnator searching for absolute immortality to avoid the terrifying fate he witnessed in the afterlife. Thanks to a failed spell designed by an unimaginative ancestor, he is able to glimpse a path leading toward immortality while laying the foundations to become the...

www.scribblehub.com