Unreliable Biased Feedback

Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
2,305
Points
153
Since most feedback threads are dead right now, and I'm trying to ignore/delay my responsibilities I have some free time, I decided on making my own.

This will be from the viewpoint of a simple-minded reader with an increasingly short attention span. I'll read until I lose interest.

Requirements:
  1. 10k+ words
Restrictions:
  1. Gender bender and all its subgenres (unless it's a genderless monster)
  2. Girls-love
  3. Boys-love

Highest ratings:
  1. The Stormcrow Cycle by @bokhi 4.5 / 5
  2. Kapal by @BenJepheneT 4.5 / 5
  3. The Supernatural Case of the Accidental Time Traveler by @Paul_Tromba 4 / 5
 
Last edited:

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
one of these is smut. one of these isn't. pick one,


 

verseii

Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2022
Messages
7
Points
18
 

BluePheasant

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2022
Messages
61
Points
48
I'd really appreciate the feedback and welcome all the constructive criticisms.
Here's my novel~
 
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
2,305
Points
153
Mine please!

Its in my signature
Chapter 3
2/5 : Below average

the first chapter doesn't do you any favors. its writing is especially poor. I'd have dropped the novel from the first few paragraphs alone. other than that, the characters are one-dimensional and the dialogue is dull.
I skipped to the last two chapters and everything I mentioned seemed to be getting better, but I had already lost interest by the second chapter
 

PeacefulMyst

In your heart~
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
673
Points
133
Chapter 3
2/5 : Below average

the first chapter doesn't do you any favors. its writing is especially poor. I'd have dropped the novel from the first few paragraphs alone. other than that, the characters are one-dimensional and the dialogue is dull.
I skipped to the last two chapters and everything I mentioned seemed to be getting better, but I had already lost interest by the second chapter
I was thinking the first chapter needed severe rewrites and this confirms it. Considering how I wrote the first chapter with almost 0 prior writing experience. Thanks blob
 

Bartun

Friendly Saurian Neighbor
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
636
Points
133
It's been a while since the last time I got feedback. I would love it if you take a look at my story. Link in my signature.
 

georgelee5786

2024 Shovel Duel Champion
Joined
Mar 6, 2022
Messages
3,217
Points
183
 
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
2,305
Points
153
Do me please :D
Regarding the novel in your signature
3/5: Average

I read the first two or three chapters and skimmed till chapter 7 or 8. I can only describe it as bland. the writing style is not bad but it's quite unengaging. nothing hooked me and I had zero interest in seeing what's next.
out of curiosity, i checked the older version and it was way way more animated. not sure why you decided on such a drastic change
 
Last edited:

Mr.Grey-Cat

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 10, 2021
Messages
212
Points
103
If you are okay with it, then here is my novel's link.

 

Lorelliad

If you love me, tie my hair 🎵
Joined
May 31, 2021
Messages
1,404
Points
153
Regarding the novel in your signature
3/5: Average

I read the first two or three chapters and skimmed till chapter 7 or 8. I can only describe it as bland. the writing style is not bad but it's quite unengaging. nothing hooked me and I had zero interest in seeing what's next.
out of curiosity, i checked the older version and it was way way more animated. not sure why you decided on such a drastic change
... seriously? The old version was a rushed piece of mess, at least for me.
 
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
2,305
Points
153
... seriously? The old version was a rushed piece of mess, at least for me.
I just skimmed through the first few chapters of older one but they definitely has more soul. no clue about the rest
 

Lorelliad

If you love me, tie my hair 🎵
Joined
May 31, 2021
Messages
1,404
Points
153
I just skimmed through the first few chapters of older one but they definitely has more soul. no clue about the rest
I did make the rewrite much slower paced, but that;s probably not it. Thanks though :D
 

Hathnuz

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
194
Points
83
Since most feedback threads are dead right now, and I'm trying to ignore/delay my responsibilities I have some free time, I decided on making my own.

This will be from the viewpoint of a simple-minded reader with an increasingly short attention span. I'll read until I lose interest.

Requirements:
  1. 10k+ words
Restrictions:
  1. Gender bender and all its subgenres (unless it's a genderless monster)
  2. Girls-love
  3. Boys-love
Thanks in advance
 
Top