Verbal bias?

TotallyHuman

It's good to be home.
Joined
Feb 13, 2019
Messages
3,996
Points
183
Whenever I enter a chat room on a forum like this, I can't help but notice how a lot of people have their own, unique-like styles of expression, making me feel like even without changes in tone, or any particular verbal ticks like "uhhhh... This... So" etc, it is possible to express one's personality through text.
Whether or not it is possible to write such that it'd be easy to discern two different individuals behind the text, I am certain, but understanding what kind of person is behind what text, is something I'm not sure is possible.
To elaborate, assume that the following text is written by two distinct and real individuals, not a lizard person like myself pretending to be them:
I saw the teacher scold the student for being late. The teacher was so angry, I could see the veins in his throat and his face was all red. I thought he was scary. The student who was being shouted at was so pale in fright
And
The teacher yelled at the student for being late. It was scary, seeing the teacher act like this. He barked like a bulldog, there was saliva everywhere... The student was so scared, his face became as white as a sheet of paper
tell me what do you think of each of the narrators: their personalities and such, but do so in spoilers, and don't look at the answers of others before you answer yourself! Cool?
Oh, and I want to see your first impressions, so don't overanalyse anything
 

SailusGebel

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
8,869
Points
233
I will try. But don't expect much from me. If I did something wrongly, do correct me.

Perhaps it's due to me not being a native English speaker, but I don't see much difference. Both don't like the teacher. Both are way too expressive. That's pretty much it.
 

BenJepheneT

Light Up Gold - Parquet Courts
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
5,344
Points
233
Whenever I enter a chat room on a forum like this, I can't help but notice how a lot of people have their own, unique-like styles of expression, making me feel like even without changes in tone, or any particular verbal ticks like "uhhhh... This... So" etc, it is possible to express one's personality through text.
Whether or not it is possible to write such that it'd be easy to discern two different individuals behind the text, I am certain, but understanding what kind of person is behind what text, is something I'm not sure is possible.
To elaborate, assume that the following text is written by two distinct and real individuals, not a lizard person like myself pretending to be them:

And

tell me what do you think of each of the narrators: their personalities and such, but do so in spoilers, and don't look at the answers of others before you answer yourself! Cool?
Oh, and I want to see your first impressions, so don't overanalyse anything
the first narrator knows his job. He's not amazing at it but he gets the job done on par with his pay. He's told to narrate what the POV is thinking and he did as he's told.

The second narrator is now getting chewed off by his boss because of the sudden pause in the middle. He's facing imminent poverty due to his inability to follow instructions such as "don't drag the reader out of the immersion by spoiling it with your own reactions, much less verbal ones". Even if he did it, he did so with no style nor wit. He sucks at his job. Now he's digging sewer grates and cleaning monuments at the local park as a double job.

TL;DR: First guy felt adequate. Second guy felt like a tryhard who isn't good at trying hard.
 

Chestnutriceeee

Active member
Joined
Jul 26, 2021
Messages
6
Points
43
Whenever I enter a chat room on a forum like this, I can't help but notice how a lot of people have their own, unique-like styles of expression, making me feel like even without changes in tone, or any particular verbal ticks like "uhhhh... This... So" etc, it is possible to express one's personality through text.
Whether or not it is possible to write such that it'd be easy to discern two different individuals behind the text, I am certain, but understanding what kind of person is behind what text, is something I'm not sure is possible.
To elaborate, assume that the following text is written by two distinct and real individuals, not a lizard person like myself pretending to be them:

And

tell me what do you think of each of the narrators: their personalities and such, but do so in spoilers, and don't look at the answers of others before you answer yourself! Cool?
Oh, and I want to see your first impressions, so don't overanalyse anything

Here's what I think.

The first guy seems like a normal person. The type that comes to school, studies, talks with their friends, and goes back home.

The second person though, I think I find them unpleasant. The type that acts like they are being very sympathetic when in reality they are just stroking their ego. The type that would donate a dollar to some social organization and hold a goddamn press conference on their social media about it.
 

Southdog

Caustic, handle with caution
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
201
Points
83

First fella sounds like he's used to hearing his teacher get angry and mad like. The teacher probably blew up on students like this before. He seems passive and almost observing things as a third party.

Second dude feels like he might become collateral damage. The teacher probably ain't been too mad like this ever. So the student going white and the teacher's description is given as if this is a sudden transformation into being angry.
 

Jet

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 4, 2021
Messages
169
Points
83
The 1st person seems like a grammarian and stickler to all the rules. A non-native, clearly. Kinda simplistic and repetitive.

The second appears more or less native to me. Except "became" and such would be likely omitted. It's also more emotional, expressive. I like that.
 
Last edited:

K5Rakitan

Level 34 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
8,162
Points
233
Both use too much passive language. The first one is worse because of the "I could see" part. Well, did you or did you not actually see it?
 

Underload

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
182
Points
83
The first one is normal in Chinese novels. The addition of the word 'so' was the only thing that gave it character. But it felt overdone the second time.
The second one is a speciality abducted straight from some jp novel. And even in this one the narrator showed his timid character with the word 'so'.
 

Mysticant

Resident Ant
Joined
Jun 17, 2021
Messages
274
Points
58
1. Objective narrator, quite a staple and nothing special in my opinion.
2. Very subjective and judgmental, sounds like a rather immature narrator. Personality sort of, but not likable from my PoV.
 

Anon_Y_Mousse

Semicolon Enjoyer
Joined
Feb 24, 2020
Messages
698
Points
133
Well here's my perspective as an amateur author:
1. This is pretty normal from a first person POV, though in that case it reflects the personality of the character who's being narrated.
2. Sounds like the writer recently read a hardcover book and thought it would be cool to get descriptive, doesn't seem like a proper way to use an idiom, though.
 
Top