Web novel’s dialogue tag

[BlackKnightX]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. Have you ever written a dialogue like this?

———

1) Web Novel Style
[Example from Dungeon Defense]

Christiane Louise had made up her mind.

“Oh great Demon Lord-”

“Sorry, but could you not call me that?”

The man cut her off, showing clear detest.

“What do you mean by, ‘Oh great Demon Lord’. I feel so nauseous just hearing those words, that I wouldn’t be surprised if my ears were to melt off this very instant. There’s over fifty Demon Lords roaming this continent alone. I wonder if I’m the only ‘great Demon Lord’.”

“Then, what should this one call your highness by.… …?”

“Just stick with ‘your highness’.”

Christiane Louise nodded in response.

“Yes, your highness. May I humbly inform your highness that there are three reasons to spare this one’s life?”

“Is that so? Tell me only one.”

The man plucked a petal and let the single red petal descend slowly.

“I do not have that much patience.”

“…!”

A chill went down Christiane Louise’s spine. The man was not even looking at her, and yet it felt as if hundreds of invisible floating eyes were staring down at her.

———

2) Traditional Style
[Example from Dungeon Defense]

Christiane Louise had made up her mind.

“Oh great Demon Lord-”

“Sorry, but could you not call me that?” The man cut her off, showing clear detest. “What do you mean by, ‘Oh great Demon Lord’. I feel so nauseous just hearing those words, that I wouldn’t be surprised if my ears were to melt off this very instant. There’s over fifty Demon Lords roaming this continent alone. I wonder if I’m the only ‘great Demon Lord’.”

“Then, what should this one call your highness by.… …?”

“Just stick with ‘your highness’.”

Christiane Louise nodded. “Yes, your highness. May I humbly inform your highness that there are three reasons to spare this one’s life?” she said.

“Is that so? Tell me only one.” The man plucked a petal and let the single red petal descend slowly. “I do not have that much patience.”

A chill went down Christiane Louise’s spine. The man was not even looking at her, and yet it felt as if hundreds of invisible floating eyes were staring down at her.

———

As you can see, there’s no dialogue tag in the first example. When there is someone speaking, the dialogue just start off in the next paragraph and continue on like that.

I’ve also seen this way of writing dialogue in a lot of Japanese light novels.

Personally, I like this style of writing more as it’s faster and easier to read than the traditional style.

But, what do you think? Do you think it’s easier to read in the first example? Have you ever tried writing like this before?

 

[owotrucked]

I prefer webnovel style but I dont like the ambiguity of the speaker

 

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

Uhh, aside from spacing there's no difference between your two examples?

Anyways, I understand what you say so here's my answer: I find a midpoint between the two styles, I don't always write dialogue tags, as long as it is clear who is speaking.
I add some filler between two dialogue lines for a somewhat dramatic pause. so I guess I lean more towards the "traditional" style.

Without the actions it just feels like reading I wanna read a manga or visual novel instead.

 

[BlackKnightX]

I prefer webnovel style but I dont like the ambiguity of the speaker

Yep, that’s gonna be a problem.

Though, from what I’ve seen so far, it’s not like there’s no dialogue tag, but more like shuffling dialogue and narration in different paragraphs.

I think it’s easier to read if done well.

Uhh, aside from spacing there's no difference between your two examples?

Anyways, I understand what you say so here's my answer: I find a midpoint between the two styles, I don't always write dialogue tags, as long as it is clear who is speaking.
I add some filler between two dialogue lines for a somewhat dramatic pause. so I guess I lean more towards the "traditional" style.

Without the actions it just feels like reading I wanna read a manga or visual novel instead.

I actually added some dialogue tags in the 2nd example if you look at it carefully. And like you said, there’s also the difference in spacing.

I think web fiction or Japanese light novel try to imitate the manga or anime style of storytelling in the first place, that’s why it’s written like that.

Right now, I’m writing in the same style you’ve described—the midpoint between the two style—but I usually find the problem with the pacing.

So, I’m now thinking of changing it into a web novel style since I tried it and found it to be easier to write and control the pacing.

It’s not like there’s no dialogue tag at all, but like you said, the main difference seems to be the spacing, which I find web novel style to be easier to read.

But what do you think about this style? Do you think it’s easier?

 

[K5Rakitan]

The Webnovel style is confusing. I don't let my authors get away with that kind of crap.

 

[bananapink]

Traditional dialogue writer here but even some of my readers still gets confused as who the speaker of this and that sometimes...
Hrm, if I switch to web novel style, I'm pretty sure they would come at me with knives...

 

[BlackKnightX]

Traditional dialogue writer here but even some of my readers still gets confused as who the speaker of this and that sometimes...
Hrm, if I switch to web novel style, I'm pretty sure they would come at me with knives...

I mean it’s not really confusing if you read from the beginning to the end in one go. I cut this example off in the middle of the chapter so it’s kind a get confusing.

 

[owotrucked]

Someone already pointed out before: japanese webnovel have pronouns (boku, watashi, ore) that helps identifying the speaker. English doesn't have this tool. So that 1st style would be clearer to them than to us, english readers

Personally, I'm putting my chips in webnovel style with portrait icons. Plus, I can dig myself a niche so that I don't have to compete against traditional writers

 

[Blind_Watcher]

I have generally found that I prefer traditional over typical webnovel style, but I think the quality of the story largely dictates how much I pay attention to it. When the story hits a lul, that's when I tend to pay more attention to the writing style itself. Traditional is a much better safety net for dialogue heavy stories in english, because the grouping ensures the reader is made aware of the intended context at all times. Although admittedly, if you TTS the same content, there is likely to be no real difference. At least that has been my experience anyway.

Personally, I write traditional and make sure every dialogue has the speaker attached to it through an emotive or descriptive action. It can be frustrating when you are reading something and have two characters that use similar or same dialogue speech patterns but are not differentiated during key exchanges in the story. Admittedly that tends to crop up mostly around 'young lord' and 'delinquent' character tropes.

 

[SailusGebel]

I use a mix of two, I guess? Answering your question, it's definitely harder to read 'web novel' style. It's a no-brainer answer. Readers have different levels of English. The easier your writing is, the better. Adding tags to every dialogue makes it easier for your readers to understand.
You appeal that if you read from the beginning to the end, it's not that confusing. Wrong. Not every reader reads from the beginning to the end. There is a fair share of readers who skim through part of or full chapters.

 

[BlackKnightX]

I use a mix of two, I guess? Answering your question, it's definitely harder to read 'web novel' style. It's a no-brainer answer. Readers have different levels of English. The easier your writing is, the better. Adding tags to every dialogue makes it easier for your readers to understand.
You appeal that if you read from the beginning to the end, it's not that confusing. Wrong. Not every reader reads from the beginning to the end. There is a fair share of readers who skim through part of or full chapters.

It’s a niche thing, I guess. Heck, the whole web novel business is a niche thing in the first place.

I completely agree with you on making it as easier to read as possible, but I have to disagree with adding tag to every dialogues. Just a few is fine.

Okay, look at this;

———
1. Adding tag to every dialogue.

”Hey, why are you doing this to me?” I said.

”It’s your fault. If you’re not so stupid, you should have found out sooner,” he said.

”That’s because I trust you… I thought we’re friend…,” I said.

”Friend?” He laughed. “Gosh, you’re so stupid, it makes me mad. I never once think of you as my friend! For me, you’re just an eyesore!” he yelled.

”Y-You…,” I said.

2. Adding only a few tag.

”Hey, why are you doing this to me?” I said.

”It’s your fault. If you’re not so stupid, you should have found out sooner,” he said.

”That’s because I trust you… I thought we’re friend…”

”Friend?” He laughed. “Gosh, you’re so stupid, it makes me mad. I never once think of you as my friend! For me, you’re just an eyesore!”

”Y-You…”
———

See what I mean? Even most of the professional novels are written with a few dialogue tags. Doesn’t mean they only use a few of them in the entire novel, but they just use it only when necessary.

It’s just a distraction if you add too much dialogue tag. Just a few is fine to indicate to the reader who’s speaking.

But after that, you don’t really need it. Heck, the reader’s not gonna read it in the place, especially if they’re a skimmy type.

And also, I think most people only skim through the novel with long-winded sentences that run on and on, which most web novels don’t really have a problem with.

They’re usually written with minimal details, short sentences, short paragraphs, and are full of dialogues, designed to be read fast on a thirty minute bus ride.

So I don’t think the skimmy type of readers will have a problem with this. It’s short and read faster in the first place.

 

[SailusGebel]

It’s a niche thing, I guess. Heck, the whole web novel business is a niche thing in the first place.

I completely agree with you on making it as easier to read as possible, but I have to disagree with adding tag to every dialogues. A few is fine.

Okay, look at this;

———
1. Adding tag to every dialogue.

”Hey, why are you doing this to me?” I said.

”It’s your fault. If you’re not so stupid, you should have found out sooner,” he said.

”That’s because I trust you… I thought we’re friend…,” I said.

”Friend?” He laughed. “Gosh, you’re so stupid, it makes me mad. I never once think of you as my friend! For me, you’re just an eyesore!” he yelled.

”Y-You…,” I said.

2. Adding only a few tag.

”Hey, why are you doing this to me?” I said.

”It’s your fault. If you’re not so stupid, you should have found out sooner,” he said.

”That’s because I trust you… I thought we’re friend…”

”Friend?” He laughed. “Gosh, you’re so stupid, it makes me mad. I never once think of you as my friend! For me, you’re just an eyesore!”

”Y-You…”
———

See what I mean? Even most of the professional novels are written with a few dialogue tags. Doesn’t mean they only use a few of them in the entire novel, but they just use it only when necessary.

It’s just a distraction if you add too much dialogue tag. Just a few is fine to indicate to the reader who’s speaking.

But after that, you don’t really need it. Heck, the reader’s not gonna read it in the place, especially if they’re a skimpy type.

I agree. I don't know why I wrote every dialogue. My brain was probably still sleeping.

 

[greyblob]

Most of what I've seen is a mixture of both. A tiny bit of action/body language with dialogue.
Something along these lines:

”Hey, why are you doing this to me?” My throat felt hoarse.

He chuckled. ”It’s your fault. If you’re not so stupid, you should have found out sooner.”

”That’s because I trust you… I thought we’re friend…”

”Friend?” He laughed. The sound was nauseating. “Gosh, you’re so stupid, it makes me mad. I never once think of you as my friend! For me, you’re just an eyesore!”

I raised my shaking arm, aiming my finger at him. ”Y-You…”

 

[BlackKnightX]

Most of what I've seen is a mixture of both. A tiny bit of action/body language with dialogue.
Something along these lines:

Yep, that’s how I usually write. I just picture the scene in my mind and write it down.

 

[greyblob]

Yep, that’s how I usually write. I just picture the scene in my mind and write it down.

It's a very efficient style - remaining fast-paced while providing some imagery. It also significantly cuts down editing time. I wouldn't recommend using it in 1st, though. I think it shines the best in 3rd.

 

[SailusGebel]

It's a very efficient style - remaining fast-paced while providing some imagery. It also significantly cuts down editing time. I wouldn't recommend using it in 1st, though. I think it shines the best in 3rd.

Sweats profusely in 1st.

 

[SpiraSpira]

I do not like dialogue that is just a series of quoted strings back and forth with no prose telling me who is saying what. I think it is cheap and confusing, especially if more than two people are talking. But that is just my opinion.

I always write in a way that if there was just someone reading the text out loud that people wouldn't be confused. The 1st style relies on the whitespace/newlines to sort of guess who is talking back and forth but could you imagine trying to read that aloud? It would be confusing.

Also, it makes you lose the potential of conveying emotion in anything but dialogue, which results in stilted dialogue, capital letters, lots of exclaimation points, etc.

 

[OokamiKasumi]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. Have you ever written a dialogue like this?

———

1) Web Novel Style
[Example from Dungeon Defense]

Christiane Louise had made up her mind.

“Oh great Demon Lord-”

“Sorry, but could you not call me that?”

The man cut her off, showing clear detest.

“What do you mean by, ‘Oh great Demon Lord’. I feel so nauseous just hearing those words, that I wouldn’t be surprised if my ears were to melt off this very instant. There’s over fifty Demon Lords roaming this continent alone. I wonder if I’m the only ‘great Demon Lord’.”

“Then, what should this one call your highness by.… …?”

“Just stick with ‘your highness’.”

Christiane Louise nodded in response.

“Yes, your highness. May I humbly inform your highness that there are three reasons to spare this one’s life?”

“Is that so? Tell me only one.”

The man plucked a petal and let the single red petal descend slowly.

“I do not have that much patience.”

“…!”

A chill went down Christiane Louise’s spine. The man was not even looking at her, and yet it felt as if hundreds of invisible floating eyes were staring down at her.

———

2) Traditional Style
[Example from Dungeon Defense]

Christiane Louise had made up her mind.

“Oh great Demon Lord-”

“Sorry, but could you not call me that?” The man cut her off, showing clear detest. “What do you mean by, ‘Oh great Demon Lord’. I feel so nauseous just hearing those words, that I wouldn’t be surprised if my ears were to melt off this very instant. There’s over fifty Demon Lords roaming this continent alone. I wonder if I’m the only ‘great Demon Lord’.”

“Then, what should this one call your highness by.… …?”

“Just stick with ‘your highness’.”

Christiane Louise nodded. “Yes, your highness. May I humbly inform your highness that there are three reasons to spare this one’s life?” she said.

“Is that so? Tell me only one.” The man plucked a petal and let the single red petal descend slowly. “I do not have that much patience.”

A chill went down Christiane Louise’s spine. The man was not even looking at her, and yet it felt as if hundreds of invisible floating eyes were staring down at her.

———

As you can see, there’s no dialogue tag in the first example. When there is someone speaking, the dialogue just start off in the next paragraph and continue on like that.

I’ve also seen this way of writing dialogue in a lot of Japanese light novels.

Personally, I like this style of writing more as it’s faster and easier to read than the traditional style.

But, what do you think? Do you think it’s easier to read in the first example? Have you ever tried writing like this before?

I hate both of them.

To begin with, I don't like Abandoned Dialogue: dialogue that's been cut off from the actions those characters did while speaking.

That said, Abandoned dialogue is correct grammar in languages that are Not English. This is why it's so prevalent in translated stories. That's how the original author wrote it, so that's how it ends up on the translated page.

Another trait of translated stories is the lack of: His, Hers, Theirs, and possessive contractions. You'll see 'The car of Yuu' instead of Yuu's car.'

If you're a Native-English Writer writing a story in English, Abandoned Dialogue is an eyesore.

When I'm writing a story and need to show who is speaking, I connect a character's dialogue to their actions -- all in the same paragraph. When there's not enough action to go around, I add body language and facial expressions. BTW, Facial Expressions and Body Language are wonderful clues to what's going on in a character's head without needing to switch to their POV. I don't use Dialogue tags such as "said" because this technique removes the need for them. If you're interested, I have a whole tutorial posted on this site about Paragraphing and Dialogue.

This leads me to another pet peeve of mine: Head-Hopping.

Head-hopping is when the POV switches from head, to head, to head, back and forth almost from paragraph to paragraph.

POV Switching is different. POV Switches happen at chapter breaks and scene breaks. I don't like POV Switching either, but that's because I prefer reading about One character, rather than many. I'll put up with it if the rest of the story is worth reading.

That said, when a story has a Large Cast of Characters, such as in an Epic: Wheel of Time, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones... POV switching is actually a necessity -- just to cover all the events happening in those tales.

I loathe Head-Hopping.

Most professionally published authors know not to do this, but there are a few big-name authors that still do it -- and I refuse to read them. New authors can be forgiven, but I have no respect for any big-name author that willfully refuses to write properly when they definitely know better.

Sadly, Head-Hopping is in almost every single translated work I've read so far because that's how those stories are written in their language. It's really putting me off my reading too.

Don't get me started on Translations that use Brackets [ ] around dialogue. There are English writers copying that too, and that shit needs to stop.

As far as I'm concerned, copying a translation's non-English Grammar when you're a Native English Writer that is writing In English --Not Translating a non-English story-- is Poor Craftsmanship and Lazy Writing -- Not a Style.

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

I tend to favor the traditional style.
I was on board with the web novel style until I read a LN. It was the second volume of a series so it had its setup done(more or less). It immediately opens with four or five characters having a full blown conversation. I had to re-read it about six times just to get an understanding of who specifically was talking.
For me it tends to work fine if it's a conversation between two people. If it was already established who would be talking, then it doesn't get confusing. More than two people and I start to forget who is who after five or so back and forth talking. Eventually for a long form dialogue it loses some of it's impact. Where it starts to feel like the people are simply staring at each other the entire time without doing anything.

 

[BlackKnightX]

It's a very efficient style - remaining fast-paced while providing some imagery. It also significantly cuts down editing time. I wouldn't recommend using it in 1st, though. I think it shines the best in 3rd.

There’s no problem for me with both POVs since I mixed in internal-monologue as well.

I do not like dialogue that is just a series of quoted strings back and forth with no prose telling me who is saying what. I think it is cheap and confusing, especially if more than two people are talking. But that is just my opinion.

I always write in a way that if there was just someone reading the text out loud that people wouldn't be confused. The 1st style relies on the whitespace/newlines to sort of guess who is talking back and forth but could you imagine trying to read that aloud? It would be confusing.

Also, it makes you lose the potential of conveying emotion in anything but dialogue, which results in stilted dialogue, capital letters, lots of exclaimation points, etc.

Well, you usually do different voices for different characters when you read out loud. I do understand what you’re saying, though.

I hate both of them.

To begin with, I don't like Abandoned Dialogue: dialogue that's been cut off from the actions those characters did while speaking.

That said, Abandoned dialogue is correct grammar in languages that are Not English. This is why it's so prevalent in translated stories. That's how the original author wrote it, so that's how it ends up on the translated page.

Another trait of translated stories is the lack of: His, Hers, Theirs, and possessive contractions. You'll see 'The car of Yuu' instead of Yuu's car.'

If you're a Native-English Writer writing a story in English, Abandoned Dialogue is an eyesore.

When I'm writing a story and need to show who is speaking, I connect a character's dialogue to their actions -- all in the same paragraph. When there's not enough action to go around, I add body language and facial expressions. BTW, Facial Expressions and Body Language are wonderful clues to what's going on in a character's head without needing to switch to their POV. I don't use Dialogue tags such as "said" because this technique removes the need for them. If you're interested, I have a whole tutorial posted on this site about Paragraphing and Dialogue.

This leads me to another pet peeve of mine: Head-Hopping.

Head-hopping is when the POV switches from head, to head, to head, back and forth almost from paragraph to paragraph.

POV Switching is different. POV Switches happen at chapter breaks and scene breaks. I don't like POV Switching either, but that's because I prefer reading about One character, rather than many. I'll put up with it if the rest of the story is worth reading.

That said, when a story has a Large Cast of Characters, such as in an Epic: Wheel of Time, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones... POV switching is actually a necessity -- just to cover all the events happening in those tales.

I loathe Head-Hopping.

Most professionally published authors know not to do this, but there are a few big-name authors that still do it -- and I refuse to read them. New authors can be forgiven, but I have no respect for any big-name author that willfully refuses to write properly when they definitely know better.

Sadly, Head-Hopping is in almost every single translated work I've read so far because that's how those stories are written in their language. It's really putting me off my reading too.

Don't get me started on Translations that use Brackets [ ] around dialogue. There are English writers copying that too, and that shit needs to stop.

As far as I'm concerned, copying a translation's non-English Grammar when you're a Native English Writer that is writing In English --Not Translating a non-English story-- is Poor Craftsmanship and Lazy Writing -- Not a Style.

Dialogue tag

Using action instead of dialogue tag, I think it’s called action beat, I’ve seen this in a lot of professional works as well, and in fact I even do this from time to time.

Also, if you look closely at the first example, it uses this technique as well, but instead of placing action beat before or after dialogue, it just places it in the next paragraph. So I think the difference is in the paragraph or spacing.

Head-Hopping.

As for head-hopping, this is very subjective. Personally, I’m okay with it either way, and head-hopping can be a great way to convey the informations in a more cinematic way and makes the story read faster.

You said translated novels use a lot of this, and I have to agree with you on that. Japanese light novels and Chinese web novels use a lot of head-hopping.

Japanese light novels use it because they try to imitate the anime’s or manga’s storytelling style. And Chinese web novels use it because they’re mostly written in 3rd person omniscient POV, since that‘s their traditional way of writing.

The translated novels that don’t really have much of head-hopping are usually Korean web novels. They just usually stick to one POV and use the scene break if they wanna change it.

Like I said, it’s very subjective. You said you’re not gonna read novels with head-hopping, and that’s fine. Maybe you’re used to traditional English writing style.

But, there are still a lot of people who enjoy head-hopping—myself included—since I like anime and manga, and head-hopping is an imitation of that.

heck, I started reading my first novel because it’s the sequel from an anime. So if the novel can give off the same experience as watching anime, then I really appreciate that.

Though, like I said. It’s just a personal preference.