Weekly writing prompts/ writing exercises with critique

unice5656

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Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
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Hi everyone,

I've started a writing "Night School" on Reddit where weekly writing exercises will be posted on Fridays, designed to be a single scene 500 words or less that focuses on a specific technical aspect of writing.

Each "lesson" will have a vague prompt where you have the freedom to write whatever you want as long as it contains the technical elements being worked on, as well as a very specific prompt that outlines the characters and setting; it's your choice which one you complete.

Every submitted piece that meets the length and topic requirements will receive a personalized critique by me on what I thought the strengths and weaknesses of the writing are, as well as whether I think you completed the technical requirements of the lesson.

Lessons can be completed in any order, at any time. Please, however, only do one lesson at a time (wait for feedback between lessons).

Check it out if you're interested! https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingNightSchool/
 
Last edited:

CupcakeNinja

Pervert Supreme
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
3,098
Points
183
Uh I'm doing lesson one. Character intro. But I just copied and pasted a short chapter from one of my stories I'd neglected the past months.

I chose it cuz i think it shows the best way I've been able to introduce a character so far. The type of person they are, you know. Their personality.
Note that this is vastly different from the original chapter.


Original Story Title, The Last King

Current Story Title, The Azure King's Last Life

Original Author, Luc666

Current Author, Cupcakeninja

Original Story Page Link, https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/3356/the-last-king


Chapter 1 (remake)


Son of a bitch, Roland thought. Who the hell is calling at such a late hour?


He ignored the terrified scream of the blonde by his side. She was a pixie of some sort he'd met the other day at a club. The choice fast food shop for creatures with a penchant for sucking out the excess emotion of drugged up teens and horny adults.


Her name was...actually he wasn't sure he'd ever gotten her name. They didn't do much talking and for their purpose last night conversation hadn't been a requirement.


Sex was one of the very few pleasures of life, why ruin it with talk?


You'd think a pixie of all people wouldn't freak out at seeing a magic circle.

Then again pixies weren't technically allowed out onto the mortal plane in recent years and it's likely she thought there was going to be a bunch of angry Fae who were going to pop out and take her off to have her wings clipped.


Or maybe she thought it'd be her husband. Who knew? Pixies were never the loyal sort, it could very well be he'd just cucked some poor bastard.


It was neither though. Roland knew this kind of magic circle and it wasn't the sort just anyone could conjure up.


No, this here was powerful hoodoo of the highest order and it wasn't screaming "get away from my wife" or "you're going away for a long time."


Nah, this one was saying, "Oh gee good sir, won't you please save my bum from hardcore anal r*pe? I would be ever so grateful."


Basically a cry for help but a lot more desperate if they were willing to risk brain damage or, if lucky, an exploding head.


Summoning of this caliber was serious business. In fact Roland only knew one guy really proficient in this form of magic and that dude only used it for stupid shit like summoning angels for a quick booty call or teleporting the bag of chips in his pantry to his hand. Both of which were really fucking ballsy.


Now for most other people this level of summoning was less a "would you kindly" and more of a "you'll be coming with me" sort of deal.


Roland, however, could tell them to fuck off. It wasn't a matter of being more powerful than the spell or the beings it was capable of summoning. It was actually a matter of hierarchy. The cosmic one.


And while he might not know, exactly, where he fit on that hierarchy he was certain he was pretty high up. Missing a vital part of your soul would do that to you. Amnesia, if you could call it that, was a bitch.


So he didn't have to answer at all. Thing is though, this wasn't your average summoning. It wasn't random.


This one called to him. Called to his blood.


It was, once he realized the fact, overwhelmingly tempting.


...Should he take it? It wasn't as if he had more important things to do. Could be fun. Actually, who the hell stole his blood anyway? Fuckers. He felt compelled to go just so he could see whatever suicidal asshat was stupid enough to use it against him.


If you had the luck to get ahold of Roland's blood and had the magic know-how to use it you could power a city for a full thousand years and size would matter very little.


Instead you waste it on the hope for a favor just as likely to turn into a bloodbath?


A bloodbath because Roland really disliked people getting ahold of his blood just on principle. Last time that happened he had a hundred vampire lords with raging hard-ons chasing him from one half of the Higher Planes to the other.


It was fun beating them down but those bloodsuckers were nearly as immortal as gods are and twice as annoying. If they were beautiful women maybe he'd have been gentler, at least. But no, had to be a pack of old grandpas smelling of copper and dog fart.


Roland frowned at the memory.


Whatever.


He decided he should get to know who the guy disturbing his sleep is, then knock him on his ass.


Did it matter to him that he was going blind into a situation he was sure had to be hundreds of planets away, if not another plane altogether?


Not really. He had too few years left to accomplish anything in this life anyway and he was strong enough to handle pretty much anything. He was lucky so much of his power came to him in this life, at least from what he gathered by reading his past selves' journals. Roland was not an uber-powerful entity in all his lives, it seems.


Which made sense, otherwise he'd be a lot more well-known before this one.


He yawned, stretched, and stood up from his bed. The cold marble floors dispelled the last drops of drowsiness from his body


"The keys to the house are in the third drawer, take care of them since they control the wards to the place. Feel free to make yourself at home, I won't be coming back." Roland threw her a glance. "Oh and there's some women's clothes in the closet. When the other two wake up at least let them take a shower and dress themselves before you kick them out, will you? Thanks."


The woman had completely no idea what was going on. But by the time she got her wits together he was already long gone.
 

unice5656

Active member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
16
Points
43
Uh I'm doing lesson one. Character intro. But I just copied and pasted a short chapter from one of my stories I'd neglected the past months.

I chose it cuz i think it shows the best way I've been able to introduce a character so far. The type of person they are, you know. Their personality.
Note that this is vastly different from the original chapter.


Original Story Title, The Last King

Current Story Title, The Azure King's Last Life

Original Author, Luc666

Current Author, Cupcakeninja

Original Story Page Link, https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/3356/the-last-king


Chapter 1 (remake)


Son of a bitch, Roland thought. Who the hell is calling at such a late hour?


He ignored the terrified scream of the blonde by his side. She was a pixie of some sort he'd met the other day at a club. The choice fast food shop for creatures with a penchant for sucking out the excess emotion of drugged up teens and horny adults.


Her name was...actually he wasn't sure he'd ever gotten her name. They didn't do much talking and for their purpose last night conversation hadn't been a requirement.


Sex was one of the very few pleasures of life, why ruin it with talk?


You'd think a pixie of all people wouldn't freak out at seeing a magic circle.

Then again pixies weren't technically allowed out onto the mortal plane in recent years and it's likely she thought there was going to be a bunch of angry Fae who were going to pop out and take her off to have her wings clipped.


Or maybe she thought it'd be her husband. Who knew? Pixies were never the loyal sort, it could very well be he'd just cucked some poor bastard.


It was neither though. Roland knew this kind of magic circle and it wasn't the sort just anyone could conjure up.


No, this here was powerful hoodoo of the highest order and it wasn't screaming "get away from my wife" or "you're going away for a long time."


Nah, this one was saying, "Oh gee good sir, won't you please save my bum from hardcore anal r*pe? I would be ever so grateful."


Basically a cry for help but a lot more desperate if they were willing to risk brain damage or, if lucky, an exploding head.


Summoning of this caliber was serious business. In fact Roland only knew one guy really proficient in this form of magic and that dude only used it for stupid shit like summoning angels for a quick booty call or teleporting the bag of chips in his pantry to his hand. Both of which were really fucking ballsy.


Now for most other people this level of summoning was less a "would you kindly" and more of a "you'll be coming with me" sort of deal.


Roland, however, could tell them to fuck off. It wasn't a matter of being more powerful than the spell or the beings it was capable of summoning. It was actually a matter of hierarchy. The cosmic one.


And while he might not know, exactly, where he fit on that hierarchy he was certain he was pretty high up. Missing a vital part of your soul would do that to you. Amnesia, if you could call it that, was a bitch.


So he didn't have to answer at all. Thing is though, this wasn't your average summoning. It wasn't random.


This one called to him. Called to his blood.


It was, once he realized the fact, overwhelmingly tempting.


...Should he take it? It wasn't as if he had more important things to do. Could be fun. Actually, who the hell stole his blood anyway? Fuckers. He felt compelled to go just so he could see whatever suicidal asshat was stupid enough to use it against him.


If you had the luck to get ahold of Roland's blood and had the magic know-how to use it you could power a city for a full thousand years and size would matter very little.


Instead you waste it on the hope for a favor just as likely to turn into a bloodbath?


A bloodbath because Roland really disliked people getting ahold of his blood just on principle. Last time that happened he had a hundred vampire lords with raging hard-ons chasing him from one half of the Higher Planes to the other.


It was fun beating them down but those bloodsuckers were nearly as immortal as gods are and twice as annoying. If they were beautiful women maybe he'd have been gentler, at least. But no, had to be a pack of old grandpas smelling of copper and dog fart.


Roland frowned at the memory.


Whatever.


He decided he should get to know who the guy disturbing his sleep is, then knock him on his ass.


Did it matter to him that he was going blind into a situation he was sure had to be hundreds of planets away, if not another plane altogether?


Not really. He had too few years left to accomplish anything in this life anyway and he was strong enough to handle pretty much anything. He was lucky so much of his power came to him in this life, at least from what he gathered by reading his past selves' journals. Roland was not an uber-powerful entity in all his lives, it seems.


Which made sense, otherwise he'd be a lot more well-known before this one.


He yawned, stretched, and stood up from his bed. The cold marble floors dispelled the last drops of drowsiness from his body


"The keys to the house are in the third drawer, take care of them since they control the wards to the place. Feel free to make yourself at home, I won't be coming back." Roland threw her a glance. "Oh and there's some women's clothes in the closet. When the other two wake up at least let them take a shower and dress themselves before you kick them out, will you? Thanks."


The woman had completely no idea what was going on. But by the time she got her wits together he was already long gone.

For future reference, please post your writing pieces directly to the subreddit as I don't usually check these forums and will not notice replies for days or weeks at a time.

As a second note, it is permissible to post excerpts from your existing writing that pertain to the lesson, but the 500-word limit applies. I don't generally check the length of the submissions but when it's almost twice as long, as this one is, I'm going to notice. The limit is there both to ensure I have enough time to read people's submissions as well as force you to focus your writing on the specific object of the lesson. I happen to have time now to read longer excerpts but when I'm busy, I will not.


Looking at the excerpt you posted, some basic grammar/spelling things:
- Stay in past tense. You wobble into present tense quite frequently and it disturbs the flow of the story
- "A hold" is two words
- You are missing commas in many places that call for them

This excerpt spends a lot of time world-building compared to fleshing out the main character, but some traits that I picked up from it included a devil-may-care attitude and casualness towards sex. I personally would have gone with a more old-fashioned/formal inner dialogue given his purported immense age, but that's a personal preference as he seems to reincarnate and could then pick up the language patterns of the modern era.
 

pastalady

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
10
Points
43
For future reference, please post your writing pieces directly to the subreddit as I don't usually check these forums and will not notice replies for days or weeks at a time.
I don’t have a reddit account or interest in signing up sadly. Is it okay if I reply here if I don’t mind a slow response?
 

unice5656

Active member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
16
Points
43
I don’t have a reddit account or interest in signing up sadly. Is it okay if I reply here if I don’t mind a slow response?
I guess? I really don't check very often. It's also nice to gather all the exercises in one place so other people can benefit from the feedback, so I might choose to copy-paste your work onto Reddit and put the critique there for you to check.
 

pastalady

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
10
Points
43
Using spoilers to save space.
Link
Vague prompt: in 500 words or less, start a story in any setting with the goal of introducing your MC's personality and character traits through their actions and thoughts. Avoid explicitly stating any of these traits.

Specific prompt: Tyrone is starting his first day at the prestigious Leaflake Academy. In 500 words or less, start the story with the goal of portraying the characteristics of "careful" and "athletic" while introducing the reader to the school setting.
Leaflake Academy was prestigious even for a private school. Getting in without passing rigorous testing required proof of either outstanding Scholastic or Athletic ability. Leaflake’s tuition matched it’s prestige, but the difficulty only seemed to spur students and parents interest in the Academy.

Tyrone was one of the rare students who managed to secure a scholarship for reduced tuition costs. He aimed to go into professional swimming and Leaflake is the only school in his district with a swim team below the college level. Tyrone’s swimming abilities would have been enough to get into the school, but he spent the last several months studying to exceed the performance of other students. His family wouldn’t have been able to afford the tuition otherwise.

Link
Vague prompt: In 500 words or less, write a conversation between two characters. Focus on conveying the relationship between the characters and particular traits of each one without explicitly stating them. In this exercise, avoid long descriptive passages and focus on dialogue.

Specific prompt: Riley and Leslie are best friends. Riley is having some romantic troubles. In 500 words or less, detail the conversation between the two characters while conveying that Riley is somewhat prone to melodrama while Leslie is pragmatic.
(I’ll try to avoid long descriptive dialogue, but I can’t resist setting up the scene a little before the dialogue starts. I’ve chosen to make it a phone call so the focus is on Riley’s body language and Leslie’s tone of speech.)

Riley was completely pissed. She threw a gift from Steve across the room and searched for her phone to call her best friend. It only took two rings for Leslie to pick up.

“You will not believe what happened Leslie!” Riley threw herself onto her bed to settle in for a juicy conversation.

Leslie’s laughter lightly sounded out from the phone’s speaker. “Why don’t you tell me first?”

“Steve!” Riley paused and exclaimed his name again, as if it would convey how seriously upset she was. “Steve!”

“What about Steve? Words help! Did he break up with you or something?”

“No!” Riley pouted after shouting out. Then she grumbled. “But I might break up with him...”

“I think I’d feel worse if you’d actually tell me what happened...” Leslie was still clearly still amused with her friends histrionics.

“He... He! That bastard cheated on me!” Riley was clearly worked up at this point, huffing and puffing.

“...”

“Why aren’t you saying anything Leslie?!”

“Didn’t you tell him you cheated on him last week?” The voice coming from the speaker started to sound as exasperated as it was amused.

“...So?”

Leslie’s reply was very straightforward. “Well, he might have believed you.”

“Ahhhhhhh! Damn it Steve!” Riley hung up on Leslie and started dialing Steve’s number.

Link
Vague prompt: in 500 words or less, depict a fast-paced action scene. Focus on creating an exciting, immersive experience.

Specific prompt: Illya has challenged Erian to race across the most difficult obstacle course at their training academy. In 500 words or less, depict the race. Focus on creating an exciting, immersive experience.
(I’ve never narrated a race before and feel I came off as a sports commentator. Also, definitely closer to 500 words than I intended. Hopefully, I didn’t go over. Edit: just checked, exactly 499 :sweating_profusely:)

The obstacle course ahead of Illya and Erian wasn’t deadly, but it was designed by the school to be strenuous and push the participants to their limits.

“I can’t believe you challenged me little girl.” Erian was the stereotypical jock, burly and rude. Illya had no regrets if she showed up this type of person.

Illya was the lithe athletic type and full of confidence. She jeered back, “Take it as a compliment muscleman. I want to be the best, so I’m challenging the best.”

Erian wanted to make a comeback, but they were quickly ushered into position by the referee.

“On your marks.”

“Set.”

The sound of a pistol signaled the start of the competition. Both participants rushed forward with Illya slightly taking the lead. The first obstacle is a climbing rope against a wall. Illya’s strong start gives her an advantage here.

Erian is right behind her. His longer arms and legs give him an advantage climbing. Illya is fast, but Steve doesn’t have to put in as much effort at this stage. They both successfully climb the wall, at the same time. They both waste a moment to glare at each other.

Ahead of them is a three part course. The first is a taunt 5-foot long wire they need to balance across to get to the next platform. After that, they need to leapfrog between many small round platforms reminiscent of poles. To make it more difficult, they are of varying distances, sizes, and heights. Their goal is the lowest platform. From there they will dive into the pool and swim out.

They break eye contact at the same time and move forward as quickly as possible. Illya is able to move quickly thanks to her natural flexibility, but Erian is surprisingly lumber and keeps pace. It doesn’t take them but a minute to make their way across and down.

Splash.

They jump into the pool, again tied. It’s rare to see a competition so closely neck to neck. Erian pulls forward and is the first to make it to the next area. They must climb a rock wall in their wet clothing and scale down the other side in the provided harness before making the last sprint.

Erian tries to put on his harness quickly, but his hands slip. Illya isn’t giving up the opportunity and quickly wears her harness and attaches it to the safety rope. She starts climbing when Erian finally clips his harness on. Illya has the lead, but Erian has the experience. She isn’t able to stay ahead by much. Her descent on the other side is much faster and she runs fast while still unbuckling the harness, no longer paying attention to her opponent. It’s in sight! She tosses the harness out of the way and crosses the finish line! Erian ran forward like an unstoppable bull, barely crossing at the same time as her.

Illya bit her lip. Erian didn’t tease her and just said, “Not bad kid.”


I’m worried about losing everything I type (I’m on mobile), so I’ll post these for now.
 
Last edited:

unice5656

Active member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
16
Points
43
Using spoilers to save space.
Link
Vague prompt: in 500 words or less, start a story in any setting with the goal of introducing your MC's personality and character traits through their actions and thoughts. Avoid explicitly stating any of these traits.

Specific prompt: Tyrone is starting his first day at the prestigious Leaflake Academy. In 500 words or less, start the story with the goal of portraying the characteristics of "careful" and "athletic" while introducing the reader to the school setting.
Leaflake Academy was prestigious even for a private school. Getting in without passing rigorous testing required proof of either outstanding Scholastic or Athletic ability. Leaflake’s tuition matched it’s prestige, but the difficulty only seemed to spur students and parents interest in the Academy.

Tyrone was one of the rare students who managed to secure a scholarship for reduced tuition costs. He aimed to go into professional swimming and Leaflake is the only school in his district with a swim team below the college level. Tyrone’s swimming abilities would have been enough to get into the school, but he spent the last several months studying to exceed the performance of other students. His family wouldn’t have been able to afford the tuition otherwise.

Link
Vague prompt: In 500 words or less, write a conversation between two characters. Focus on conveying the relationship between the characters and particular traits of each one without explicitly stating them. In this exercise, avoid long descriptive passages and focus on dialogue.

Specific prompt: Riley and Leslie are best friends. Riley is having some romantic troubles. In 500 words or less, detail the conversation between the two characters while conveying that Riley is somewhat prone to melodrama while Leslie is pragmatic.
(I’ll try to avoid long descriptive dialogue, but I can’t resist setting up the scene a little before the dialogue starts. I’ve chosen to make it a phone call so the focus is on Riley’s body language and Leslie’s tone of speech.)

Riley was completely pissed. She threw a gift from Steve across the room and searched for her phone to call her best friend. It only took two rings for Leslie to pick up.

“You will not believe what happened Leslie!” Riley threw herself onto her bed to settle in for a juicy conversation.

Leslie’s laughter lightly sounded out from the phone’s speaker. “Why don’t you tell me first?”

“Steve!” Riley paused and exclaimed his name again, as if it would convey how seriously upset she was. “Steve!”

“What about Steve? Words help! Did he break up with you or something?”

“No!” Riley pouted after shouting out. Then she grumbled. “But I might break up with him...”

“I think I’d feel worse if you’d actually tell me what happened...” Leslie was still clearly still amused with her friends histrionics.

“He... He! That bastard cheated on me!” Riley was clearly worked up at this point, huffing and puffing.

“...”

“Why aren’t you saying anything Leslie?!”

“Didn’t you tell him you cheated on him last week?” The voice coming from the speaker started to sound as exasperated as it was amused.

“...So?”

Leslie’s reply was very straightforward. “Well, he might have believed you.”

“Ahhhhhhh! Damn it Steve!” Riley hung up on Leslie and started dialing Steve’s number.

Link
Vague prompt: in 500 words or less, depict a fast-paced action scene. Focus on creating an exciting, immersive experience.

Specific prompt: Illya has challenged Erian to race across the most difficult obstacle course at their training academy. In 500 words or less, depict the race. Focus on creating an exciting, immersive experience.
(I’ve never narrated a race before and feel I came off as a sports commentator. Also, definitely closer to 500 words than I intended. Hopefully, I didn’t go over. Edit: just checked, exactly 499 :sweating_profusely:)

The obstacle course ahead of Illya and Erian wasn’t deadly, but it was designed by the school to be strenuous and push the participants to their limits.

“I can’t believe you challenged me little girl.” Erian was the stereotypical jock, burly and rude. Illya had no regrets if she showed up this type of person.

Illya was the lithe athletic type and full of confidence. She jeered back, “Take it as a compliment muscleman. I want to be the best, so I’m challenging the best.”

Erian wanted to make a comeback, but they were quickly ushered into position by the referee.

“On your marks.”

“Set.”

The sound of a pistol signaled the start of the competition. Both participants rushed forward with Illya slightly taking the lead. The first obstacle is a climbing rope against a wall. Illya’s strong start gives her an advantage here.

Erian is right behind her. His longer arms and legs give him an advantage climbing. Illya is fast, but Steve doesn’t have to put in as much effort at this stage. They both successfully climb the wall, at the same time. They both waste a moment to glare at each other.

Ahead of them is a three part course. The first is a taunt 5-foot long wire they need to balance across to get to the next platform. After that, they need to leapfrog between many small round platforms reminiscent of poles. To make it more difficult, they are of varying distances, sizes, and heights. Their goal is the lowest platform. From there they will dive into the pool and swim out.

They break eye contact at the same time and move forward as quickly as possible. Illya is able to move quickly thanks to her natural flexibility, but Erian is surprisingly lumber and keeps pace. It doesn’t take them but a minute to make their way across and down.

Splash.

They jump into the pool, again tied. It’s rare to see a competition so closely neck to neck. Erian pulls forward and is the first to make it to the next area. They must climb a rock wall in their wet clothing and scale down the other side in the provided harness before making the last sprint.

Erian tries to put on his harness quickly, but his hands slip. Illya isn’t giving up the opportunity and quickly wears her harness and attaches it to the safety rope. She starts climbing when Erian finally clips his harness on. Illya has the lead, but Erian has the experience. She isn’t able to stay ahead by much. Her descent on the other side is much faster and she runs fast while still unbuckling the harness, no longer paying attention to her opponent. It’s in sight! She tosses the harness out of the way and crosses the finish line! Erian ran forward like an unstoppable bull, barely crossing at the same time as her.

Illya bit her lip. Erian didn’t tease her and just said, “Not bad kid.”


I’m worried about losing everything I type (I’m on mobile), so I’ll post these for now.
Critiques posted to the appropriate threads on Reddit. Of note, please only complete one lesson at a time and wait for feedback in between, as I usually end up repeating parts of the critique if you don't. I will not critique lessons done in batches in the future.

Lesson 10 up.
 

unice5656

Active member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
16
Points
43
Just to let everyone know, I'm still doing this but I won't post a new lesson unless someone gets to lesson 12.
 
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