See the problem is, I really feel that the greater the challenge, the better the story. So... I kinda... Rain all unholy fuck down on my MC in a relentless torrent of psychotic horror and pain. Ya know, greater the challenge, the sweeter the reward. So, to become my own MC would...
Hotrod Lantern - Result in me lamenting that I can never have sex with anyone else ever again unless I want to dissolve their pelvis.
Flip The Script - I'd know I was but a pawn in a far greater conflict and literally helpless against the forces arrayed against me.
Hara-Kiri Nonfesance - I'd know that chances are, the only way i could win was to die after I finally found the will to live, because that would be the perfect bookend to this tragic tale.
I Was Summoned - I'd realize I was really really weak and that when the giant planet eating bugs showed up, I was going to have hope my plot armor protects me because otherwise, I got no clue how I'd survive this mashup of all the worst comic book hero tropes. However, I might get laid, so maybe out of the four, this one is the best choice.