When a random thought breaks your story immersion

[RandomDuck]

I understand and accept that I am a scatterbrain. I do really. But I really hate it when a random reality check question breaks my immersion in what is otherwise a good story. It's always the little details that trip me up.
Here are some things that ping my reality radar..
Why do some Authors tell you every time the characters eat/drink but never mention how many times they need a potty break? Or the ones that never mention having to eat?
Why do some Authors talk about how all the food a character orders looks/smells/tastes and everything else in the restaurant but never says anything about the bill?
Or how a character walks through a swamp but never changes clothes afterwards or checks for leaches..
What about the female character who wears high heels the entire time and never complains about her feet or has blisters?
Does anyone else have that problem? What trips you up?

 

[Agentt]

Alright, let's see.

I understand and accept that I am a scatterbrain. I do really. But I really hate it when a random reality check question breaks my immersion in what is otherwise a good story. It's always the little details that trip me up.
Here are some things that ping my reality radar..
Why do some Authors tell you every time the characters eat/drink but never mention how many times they need a potty break?

Because you need your readers to simp over them and pooping is not hot for majority of population.

Or the ones that never mention having to eat?

Most novels do mention eating tho. The only ones which don't are action packed ones, and they don't because they are speedrunning human life.

Yes, it's not that they poop off screen, but they are actually speedrunning this, holding it in. Which is why they also need to get a girl as quick as possible.

Why do some Authors talk about how all the food a character orders looks/smells/tastes and everything else in the restaurant but never says anything about the bill?

Mostly because of inflation in different countries.
A good meal here costs 4 dollars. So if I say the bill costed 7 dollars, it would appear expensive to me, but perhaps not to Americans or Europeans.
Same with electronics. A 2 dollar app is very cheap for Americans but very expensive for me.

Hence, it is better to just write it was expensive or just not mention it at all.

Or how a character walks through a swamp but never changes clothes afterwards or checks for leaches...

Now the author is just being stupid. Either make your character strip or have them change clothes, an author should never skip this part.

What about the female character who wears high heels the entire time and never complains about her feet or has blisters?

That just never happens. Never. Not once, no such girl exists. The only one i can imagine are the 30 year olds sluttery characters, and they are uncomfy, they just don't tell you to seduce you.

Does anyone else have that problem? What trips you up?

No, you are weird. Good bye

 

[TotallyHuman]

I don't care if a story is not realistic. If one wants to be realistic in a story, they should write a very detailed diary, in real time, about everything, like Yukki from Future Diary, not a story.

 

[Southdog]

Are you George R. R. Martin? Are you going to write about diarrhea shits in a swamp? Are you?

No, you're not, because that's disgusting.

 

[Florestes]

Does anyone else have that problem? What trips you up?

The same problems that you have outlined can be pretty much applied to injuries in the same manner.
I mean, if I suddenly hit my leg on a table leg or something similarly minor, then I need a few seconds for cursing and bearing the pain. In contrast, a "typical" character easily functions normally even after being beaten or stabbed. Especially those that were emphasized to be "normal" people just a minute before shit had hit the fan.
Sometimes I read those scenarios, and can't help but cringe!. VERY immersion shattering for self insert stories.

 

[autumnveir]

Yeah! Every author always forgets to mention breathing, or blinking! It feels unrealistic that these characters don't have basic human characteristics!

On a serious note, I think I can simplify what you feel in a single word - doubt. It is perfectly okay to doubt everything. We lead ourselves to ignore these reflexes to doubt what we read for the sake of immersion (which leads to fallacies).

Chances are you're just new to reading and are not used to conveniently ignoring the doubts entering your brain, breaking your immersion, or whatever you're reading isn't immersive enough- like my novels! Read them if you want to waste your time. I get it, shameless advertising, yeah yeah.

 

[strayCat0]

I don't know, would you?

You see, why should I empathize bills part unless i want to drive the story into money topic/conflict? Or just some petty excuse for that character to antagonize their partner? Maybe they're fed up with everything, so they took it up on their bills---and things. Other than many other plots that I'm not going to list rn, why should you empathize the bills part? If you just want to question an unkown author out there why they empathize looks/smells/tastes but not bills, honestly, I don't know. Not until I read it. Questions why they include them in the first place! Not "shouldn't they also include other unimportant things too?"

Or here, going to toilet to take a shit: why is that important for my 80 yo MC while in a conspiracy meeting under some unsuspecting cafe in Paris, Napoleonic Era fantasy story?

No, you are weird. Good bye

Agree

 

[Erylm]

The same problems that you have outlined can be pretty much applied to injuries in the same manner.
I mean, if I suddenly hit my leg on a table leg or something similarly minor, then I need a few seconds for cursing and bearing the pain. In contrast, a "typical" character easily functions normally even after being beaten or stabbed. Especially those that were emphasized to be "normal" people just a minute before shit had hit the fan.
Sometimes I read those scenarios, and can't help but cringe!. VERY immersion shattering for self insert stories.

People can function normally after being shot multiple times for longer than you might expect. Some people do not even notice they were shot at all. Depending on where you got stabbed, shot or bit you can function normally for a couple minutes. Adrenaline does that for you.

In movies when people get stabbed it's actually quite unrealistic how fast they die. As long as the heart or lungs isn't harmed, its entirely up to how fast you're bleeding out, or shock which are can be a few minutes or 30. (Normal people die just as trained people, the only difference is fear and skill.)

I understand and accept that I am a scatterbrain. I do really. But I really hate it when a random reality check question breaks my immersion in what is otherwise a good story. It's always the little details that trip me up.
Here are some things that ping my reality radar..
Why do some Authors tell you every time the characters eat/drink but never mention how many times they need a potty break? Or the ones that never mention having to eat?
Why do some Authors talk about how all the food a character orders looks/smells/tastes and everything else in the restaurant but never says anything about the bill?
Or how a character walks through a swamp but never changes clothes afterwards or checks for leaches..
What about the female character who wears high heels the entire time and never complains about her feet or has blisters?
Does anyone else have that problem? What trips you up?

Please keep in mind that stories are a form of art, and that all that is told in the storylies meant to mean something within said story, or rather the story is (like art) a way Authors/artist expres ideas and feelings.

The way they do this is by giving you a viewpoint, an anchor of sorts in the form of an MC to sympathize with. A world to immerse and plot to drive story forward. Even if an author is just trying to create an interesting story without any greater intent. They still tend to give a very distinct feeling unique to them. Some more than others.

Now if these details are necessary for the plot, provide character building or are inherent to the feel of authors style then they should be present. If not then not, and if you get tangled up in your mind about those details, than either you just get distracted easily, or the story is confusing, incoherent or uninteresting to you.

 

[BlackKnightX]

I grew up on anime, so all these shit ain’t got nothing on me.

 

[Bartun]

I show all those things in my story. The first thing my MC asks for after spending the night in the forest is a bath. She gets her clothes torn so she changes clothes twice. (I portrayed this not in a fanservicey way) They stop to eat at multiple points, her traveling companion eats a weasel raw, and she has to cook another weasel in the wild. Both she and her traveling companion do have to urinate and defecate at different points. She also has to clean herself because of her period coming at the worst possible time.

I got people getting mad at me for including these things, one particular fellow was very vocal about it. Others said that it added realism. I wrote it that way because there is nothing that brings people together more than sharing difficulties. They end up getting closer and becoming friends.

 

[RandomDuck]

I wasn't exactly trying to be super picky but it just sorta bugs me when (an admittedly fictional) story is extremely into the details and then skips something. Like the restaurant scenario. Super detailed about the food, the service, the decor, and then they just leave without mentioning anything about paying. Nothing. Who paid? Was it expensive or unexpectedly cheap? I don't know, maybe it was free.

And yes, yes I do get easily diss... oh butterfly!

 

[AliceShiki]

Well, a good story won't have pointless stuff in it.

If there is a part about eating delicious food, then there should be a reason for the author to bother mentioning that they are eating delicious food. Otherwise they should just skip that and move on with their narrative.

Similarly speaking, if they need to pay the bill, this should only be depicted if this will be important for the story... Otherwise, the reader can just assume that they paid the bill and move on. No point in wasting time on those things if it adds nothing to your story.

And the same goes for defecating and whatnot. Bartun gave a good example on this one... He depicted the characters defecating because it was important to his story in order to properly portray the difficulties the characters were going through and how that helped them create a bond... But on a story where this won't be used in favor of the narrative, this kind of thing should just be skipped as it will add nothing and will just pointlessly waste space that could be used on something more relevant.

That's basically the gist of it. Anything that isn't important to the story shouldn't be shown. It's a waste of reader time. The author will focus on the important stuff, so those small unimportant details will be lost~

 

[RandomDuck]

And I totally agree with that. Most of time I have no problem with skipping the unimportant things. The whole point of fiction is to suspend your disbelief and immerse yourself in someone else's world. But if you're gonna be super detailed about a particular scene toss in a couple of sentences for the unimportant stuff too. Ex: After a quick trip to the bushes the group continued on toward the next town. Or .. John discreetly paid the tab before escorting his new friends from the popular tavern.
I know I'm weird to let it get to me, but sometimes leaving out the little things makes me feel like a scene is unfinished or I accidentally skiped something. Yes, I do assume people pay for their food if they go out to eat. But I have had to reread several sections of stories before because paying a bill was literally never mentioned and thought I had skipped a line or something.

 

[soldieroffortune813]

A big point about writing is only including the important, relevant stuff. Nine times out of ten, when an author brings up a character pooping, I, as a reader, interpret this as either a crass attempt at toilet humor or their weird scat fetish. It carries the same rules as real social situations where you can sit around and eat food with other people and its not weird to talk about food, but if somebody had to go to the washroom then asking them for details after the fact would make everyone else either uncomfortable, assume you were making a joke, or both.

Paying the bill is in a similar place. If the author was talking about the food then it was to help set the stage for the scene taking place in a restaurant. The details mentioned about the restaurant would be there to help the readers picture things in their mind, and anything between scenes is usually glossed over so as to not drag down the pacing. If the scene included them finishing their food and leaving the restaurant then it could be a little strange to never mention the bill.

In the end, most of the things you mentioned are in the realm of "uncomfortable realities" and are things people tend not to go out of their way to mention in normal life, so mentioning such stuff in a book tends to really stand out, and not always in a good way.

 

[RandomDuck]

I'm just saying some things trip me up. It could be an omition of some kind or a phrase of dialogue or a piece of tech that is ooc for the world settings.
I understand if an author doesn't want to go into disgusting details, and I don't want them to. But they can be addressed and then glossed over. If you can have a character walk off stage for a phone call or a tryst, you can do so for other things too.
I've also read some funny things, like when I thought the author omitted paying the bill only for them to turn it around by having a waiter chase the MC down for skipping out on the bill.

 

[ARedFox]

I’m not bothered by the pooping thing not being there. I don’t want to hear it.

Paying depends. If money or restaurants in general are a big part, it may need to be there to give context. Even if it’s a “send it to the xxx estate” or “it was quite expensive”. It may not be needed if the food is a focus, but if the whole restaurant is, I think it should be mentioned.

The swamp thing also depends on the story. If an author is going to try to have some kind of survival type story or include stuff from that genre, I feel it is needed to some extent. Otherwise it breaks my immersion because the realism/survival element becomes limited by the authors knowledge.

What really bugs me are a few things. In survival stories where they instantly trust the water is fine because it’s clear or something else drank from it. Or when the author forgets to even briefly mention stuff like bacteria and new viruses. Want to write it off, okay. Don’t ignore stuff like that if your doing survival tho. It’s such a big part of it.

In stories that use money to any real degree, a money system that’s highly impractical, bad spending, or plot holes/intentional lack of details with how much money has been spent or is left. A system where each coin needs 100 small ones is bad as it means it won’t be uncommon for people to carry around and store that many coins. Does that sound convenient to you? What about business? Want to wait while the employee has to count 39 silver and 56 copper coins out? Then for bad spending, sometimes characters just spend in an unwise manner. It could be spending all the money or close to it and just assuming they’ll get more when they need it or spending on something before they know the whole situation. Perhaps they know the plot. As for the last thing, it annoys me when an author can’t keep track of money when they use specific amounts. Want to be vague with the amount all the time, fine. But if they tell me, I’m going to keep track and be annoyed if it doesn’t add up or more suddenly appears. Same with if they tell me a starting amount but be vague about spending. The second a specific amount is introduced, it became a semi-important part of the story. That said, if it’s all minor things that aren’t near the full budget, it bugs me less.

There’s plenty of other things that bug me, but moneys been the most recent big one. The survival stuff just consistently bugs me as well.

 

[K5Rakitan]

I get upset when they don't use a condom or other form of contraception during sex but aren't actively trying to get pregnant.

 

[BlackKnightX]

I get upset when they don't use a condom or other form of contraception during sex but aren't actively trying to get pregnant.

Virtually every harem novel I’ve read has the harem members begging for the protagonist’s seed, though.