45-year-old Larry Daniels was walking across his office in a hurry passing by the cubicles of his coworkers, uncomfortable pain in his midsection. Janice, the office gossip stopped him to chat, but eventually, he had to break free, moving quicker. Suddenly he couldn't hold it back. He began a horrific walk of shame, crop dusting his coworkers as he walked with tight steps letting out gas in bursts causing every coworker he passed by to make a horrified face. People who didn't see him began to loudly complain, "Oh my god, what is that, Indian food? A dirty diaper? Are those rotten eggs?"
Finally, Larry just gave up and let it out. He fired off what could only be described as the worst fart in the history of the Montfort and Sons accounting firm. In both sound and stench, no other office gas before it could be called it's equal. Many in the office that day fully believed that Larry Daniels was in need of new pants. Larry sighed, it was now too late to make it to the bathroom, so he just started back to his own Cubicle, good ol' number 161. As Larry walked by the office cooler the sound of a speeding truck could be heard and then with a mighty crash a 1992 Isuzu delivery truck smashed through the plate glass of the first-floor office and crushed Larry against the food cubicle killing him instantly.
Larry awoke in a white room, a portly gentleman sat on a golden throne eating a can of baked beans and drinking a two-liter bottle of mountain dew. In front of him was a TV playing reruns of some 80s comedy show. It's laugh track roaring at each line given. The portly man looked his way and smiled, he called out, "Larr-ry! My man!"
Larry pointed to himself and said, "Me? Yes?"
The big man put his can of beans down and said, "Larry Daniels. I am Randy, the god of Flatulence. For your incredible gas, I have invited you here to bestow an honor upon thee! I wish to send you to a magical realm to be reborn as a hero who will fight the demon lord."
Larry looked angry, "Invite? You had me ran over by a delivery truck."
Randy waved his hand before ripping a mighty fart, "Ooooh yeah, oh my baked bean, it smells like death ahahahaha!"
Larry frowned and said, "Dude, really? Look, I don't want to fight a demon lord, I'm just an account manager, what skills do I even have to act like a hero?"
Randy pointed at Larry and said, "Bro, that fart you ripped caused a hole in space and time, you have the power to change the world."
Larry frowned and said, "Are you really a god? Just let me pass on."
Randy lifted a cheek and said, "Oh, this is bad... I sharted. We'll talk about this again once I get back."