How would you describe your main protagonist as poorly as possible?

[Sylver]

Reclusive introvert farmer boy lets sexy extrovert runaway cat girl live with him in secret to help with her amnesia, shenanigan's ensue!

 

[Thraben]

Guy who read Hamlet once, watched Technoblade's perspective on the Dream SMP, and spent so long writing self-insert stories about himself getting pegged that the combination of the three became his personality.