Scribble Hub Forum

Just fix them.

How do you show a magical a flamingo and a slime girl fixing a dam and not have it come across as something a 6 year old would write?

The problem there is that apparently you're a six-year-old. Why did you write that if you didn't have a plan on how to execute it?

smut is the answer

Also, give the names and context of the flamingo and magical girl. There's no way it's actually as stupid as you described.

@Cipiteca396 No, it isn't.

Well Merumeru the slime girl does most of the work because she can dissolve stuff. Alex can move rocks the normal way and Fufi the flamingo is really just playing the roll of mascot and catching fish for meals. The problem mostly is that everything is so jumbled, I need to condense an segregate stuff so it makes sense.

@melchi You're a fan of segregation?

*slaps the question mark upside the head with a large trout*

In any case, write the chapter from different perspectives or at least follow different people in different sections.


What the slime was doing from start to finish

---

What Alex was doing from start to finish

---

What the flamingo was doing from start to finish.


Have an event take place in each section to keep the audience engaged.

It is that almost everything is breaking paragraph rules. Having three people doing stuff in the same paragraph is not supposed to happen.

So someone didn't read what I said.

It was because I was writing while you were posting and you finished before me :P

Oh well there. I solved your problem.

Also, do a complete series rewrite, and delete the scene entirely.

Such meany