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I like the concept, especially the part about the book having never mentioned how MC would die, only that they would. S-Scherr already mentioned the tense issue. It didn't bother me as much though. What did annoy me was the word spacing. Some paragraphs stretch the line to fit the width of the...

Since nobody else is replying... let me give it a shot. The first section is basically incomprehensible: "But how it started?" -> "How did it begin?" "Before the foundation of this organization, the power was separated." What power? Separated from what? "Dealings and tradings for the ones who...