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Ah, finally a story that is written in the past tense. After several present tense stories, I feel relieved reading a story in the past tense. XD I don't know, stories with past tense feel more...grounded for me. I love the start of the book. Like I said in one of my feedback here, the first...

I have to be honest and say that your first chapter is all over the place. First, the quick flashbacks. I don't think it's advisable to have a flashback after a short paragraph or two of your story. If you're gonna do that, might as well, start with the flashback itself. As a reader, it was...

Im up for this. =D The link for my story is in my signature.

I'll give my feedback on your Land of Eden first, give feedback on other's chapters, then go back to your second story. You writing style makes it easy for readers to understand what you want to say. I love the sentimentality created at the latter half of the chapter. Though, I spotted several...

The chapter is well-written. Grammar-wise, I have no complaints about how you wrote it. I was amused when you described her quivering upon seeing her boyfriend for the first time in three weeks like, what is she? A dog? XD Seriously. I gotta admit though, that this isn't really my cup of tea...

Ahaha. Totally didn't read the title. I just want you to know that I felt disconnected to the story when I read it because of the white room thing. If it's your intention that the characters are in like, an empty space, that could go into the narration and description as well. Just a...

In all honesty, I'm not a fan of it. I think it is more suitable for a graphic novel than prose or narrative. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for style, as long as it is done right and follows, to a reasonable degree, rules on story-writing and grammar. The first that struck me is the lack of...

I've seen this done and would like to give it a try for the heck of it. XD If you want a quick feedback on your first chapter, send a link below.

If you ever decide to put up a book club, hit me up. I'll join. Lol

Yo, I can give it a try. Here is the link to my story. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/231515/lady-reaper-reianne-rewritten/

Hello! Thank you for doing this! Here is mine. Hope you'll have a good time with it. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/231515/lady-reaper-reianne-rewritten/

Thank you for the feedback! It's better than what I was expecting. *Sweats* Im working on toning down the voice actually and yes, it's easier to tone down the voice rather than the other way around.

Oh wow, are you still doing this? I'd like to give it a try since I just posted my first chapter, and yes, first chapters can make or break the readership. From reading your replies, I can tell you know you're knowledgeable at this. Thank you so much for even considering this...