Dual Element Mage with Level-Up System

[Shady_L]

Please check out my new novel that I started writing. Please guide me if you can as it's my first time writing any novel. Thanks!

 

[Cipiteca396]

Why are some of the chapters in CAPSLOCK?

Manipulator Of Space With Mage Leveling System

One day, the sun disappeared from the sky and Earth was filled with darkness. Even though this horrifying event only lasted for a few moments, it changed the history of the world. That day, Earth faced its largest earthquake and countless lives were lost. Mana started to pour into the...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Nexus_English]

Why are some of the chapters in CAPSLOCK?

Manipulator Of Space With Mage Leveling System

One day, the sun disappeared from the sky and Earth was filled with darkness. Even though this horrifying event only lasted for a few moments, it changed the history of the world. That day, Earth faced its largest earthquake and countless lives were lost. Mana started to pour into the...

www.scribblehub.com

I WONDER THE SAME THING.

 

[APieceOfRock]

OKAY, DON'T PUT "To be continued" AT THE END OF EVERY CHAPTER. WE KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE CONTINUED. THAT LINE JUST RIP EVERY OUNCE OF IMMERSION POSSIBLE OUT OF THE READERS.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

1) The first sentence is what grabs my attention to read the first paragraph.
2) The first paragraph is what sells the first chapter.
3) The first chapter gives me a question that the reader should be curious about and your book should be the only way to answer that question.

1. Planet Earth, Year 2022
Bored now.

2. You don't have paragraphs.

3. Your first chapter presents a simple question: What happened to this guy?
You might want to refine that question. Make it a little more specific and way less generic.

Also, your use of spacing is painful. Here. My First Chapter of HKN

I'm giving this as an example because in many ways, both chapters have the same question presented to the reader. You need to learn how to use negative space. Line breaks are for the reader to pause and consider what you are reading. There is a certain rhythm to it.
Here. Another example.

I have a pattern.

Single Line at start of the chapter to be a zinger.

Then I have a little exposition at the start f most chapters.

A paragraph explaining the setup.
Paragraphs are broken up by topic.
Occasional a one-liner where I hit the reader with a single idea.




I will sometimes put something all by itself after many carriage returns to make it ESPECIALLY stand out.





"When having a conversation I have words inside quotations and get rid of the word 'said' whenever possible." Eldritch had discovered that people are smart enough to figure it out for themselves, "You just need a comma and some quotes to get people to know who is talking. The important part is to start a new chapter whenever the speaking subject changes.

My imagination interrupted, "This would be an example of that." It looked around and wiggled it's tendrils, "Actions can be done by anyone and rolled into the paragraph." Eldritch nodded as my Imagination continued, "As long as who is talking inside the quotes remains the same."

"So Expositions should be all at the start of the chapter, with maybe a small wrap up at the end, but if you get in the habit of having conversations like this, you can group things up in a way that is easier on the reader's eyes. It knows where one speaker ends and another begins. In fact, if you keep up the pattern, you won't even need to point out who is talking, the reader will figure it out by style of speech, or the fact only two people are talking."


Then, finally, I try to have a final zinger line to end the chapter on.






It's cheap psychological manipulation, but it works.

Spoiler: A Random Collection Of My Advice For Writers.

While Reading, Put this on a loop:

Spoiler: SpoilerCeption

How long to write a chapter?

I spend up to twelve hours thinking about a chapter, then slam it out in an hour. There are many steps to writing. Planning is part of writing.

Editing is the part that takes the most time. Learn how to be your own editor.

------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO BE YOUR OWN EDITOR

1. Write the chapter yourself.

2. Run it through a simple spell checker like Word.

3. Go to ChatGPT and type "Rephrase The Following Paragraph" Take one paragraph of at least 3 sentences and save it in a separate file. Feed that paragraph to ChatGPT. Copy the resulting paragraph to a separate file. Make a hybrid paragraph of the best of both.

4. Repeat step 3 until you have done every paragraph.

5. Turn on Grammerly. Just use the spell-checking feature. Screw the suggestions.

6. Go through your chapter to search for the following words:
Suddenly
Very/really
Started
Just
Somewhat/slightly
Somehow
Seem(s)
Definitely
If you see any of these words, reconsider them. Usually, these words are misused. If someone is speaking, no problem, but outside of conversation, they usually are a bad sign.

7. If any sections don't feel right use the following at random:
prowritingaid.com/rephrase
sudowrite.com/app
writesonic.com/
But they do not allow unlimited use, so just use these occasionally to get a different perspective on how you phrased something.

8. Put it through Text Edit and turn on the text-to-speech feature. Listen to the chapter and fix it as it reads it out loud to you.

9. Go through and check for words that you keep using over and over. Using the same word too often will stand out. Try to have at least three different ways of referring to any main character. Avoid using the same word more than one in any given paragraph, or at least no more than once a page (pronouns/conjunctions not included, obviously). The english language is incredibly diverse, so the more you force yourself to get creative using alternatives, the more interesting your work is.

10. Turn on Grammerly one last time for spell-checking.

-----------------

START AT THE END.

You need to know what the ending of a plotline is, At least the final gut punch you plan for the reader to have. You can have an epilogue afterward, but you need that final scene in your head at least. Just writing because "I have a cool idea." Doesn't work. You need to know the ending.

Most books are three acts.

You need a plot that starts then finishes in Act/Act, in order of importance:
1/3
1/1
3/3
2/2
1/2
2/3

What I mean is you introduce a plot in Act 1, then it ends in Act 3, followed by Act 1 ends in Act 1.

The overall plot, that goes from plot 1 to plot 3 is the most important, but 1/1 is the second most important because it KEEPS THE READER READING.

That means, before you start the story, you need to have 6 endings. I don't care how much you write it out, but you need 6 plots and 6 plot endings. ANYTHING ELSE IS BOTH UNNEEDED AND DANGEROUS. You also need to know how the plot STARTS. So you need 6 beginnings and 6 endings. However, if you work those out ahead of time, everything else is just filler to get the story to move from one key scene to the next.

For example:

1/3: Joe is summoned and he had to defeat the demon lord
1/1: Joe is dropped into a strange situation and needs to adjust.
3/3: Joe will have a setback he needs to overcome
2/2: Joe will go on a training montage.
1/2: Joe will encounter the miniboss and have to overcome them.
2/3: Joe will have a romance subplot where he meets a girl and they fall in love by the end.

So three things begin in the first act, 2 start in the second, 1 in the last.
There is one conclusion in the first, 2 in the second, then 3 in the ending
(and if you do it well, it all comes together in one scene.)

It's simple, it's formulaic, IT WORKS.

If you do this, you won't "write in the wrong direction" because you know where the ending is. Once you work out those 6 starts and 6 ends, everything else in the book is just connective tissue.


--------------------


If you are having problems making a character Here's my cheat sheet


Name
Race
Apparent Age
Actual Age
Sex
Gender
Height
Weight
Eye Color
Hair Color
Parents (How many, Sex, general Relations)
Place of birth

Current mental Age group: (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Where PC/NPC spent their (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Note Worthy Events of (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Current Socio-Economic Standing (Poor/Lower Class/Middle Class/Upper Class/SuperRich)

Stats: 1-5
Physical: Strength/Dexterity/Stamina
Social: Charisma/Manipulation/Appearance
Mental: Intelligence/Wisdom/Perception

Morality (scale of 1-5)
Good-Evil (Objective Morality)
Right-Wrong (Subjective Morality)
Legal-Crime (Social Morality)
Positive-Negative (Outcome Morality)

I go with the 1-5 scale with occasionally 0 or 5+

Nobody lives in a vacuum. However, everyone rhymes. get in your head the above groups and some stereotypical traits for each.

A guy whose morality is Objective 1, Subjective 1, Social 5, Outcome 1 is the kind of guy who believes in "Good" Outside himself and seeks to internalize it. he thinks society is corrupt, and willing to commit crimes if the outcome is positive.

ie Batman.

Charisma is personality, Manipulation is how controlling you can be, and appearance is how you look.

So your typical otome Villainess is a Chr 1, Manip 4, App 4.

When you get good at it, you can "shorthand" a character with ease

--------------------------

How to self-motivate:

Tell yourself, "NO ONE LOVES YOU! YOU ARE A WASTE OF SKIN! YOU ARE ONLY WORTH SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING! IF YOU AREN'T DOING SOMETHING, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? EVERY MOMENT YOU WASTE NOT DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, A BABY KITTEN DIES! IF YOU ONLY TRIED HARDER, THERE WOULD BE LESS DEAD LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIFE! EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED THAT DIED IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH!"

Then I get back to writing.

---------------------------

On units of measurement:

If you wanna use metrics in your story, go ahead. It's your story
But I always use "We put a flag on the fuckin' moon" units.

--------------------------

On How Much You Write:

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Something pounded into my head was, "WHAT CAN YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR STORY?"

Every word you include is a fraction of a second to read. Every fraction adds up. Time is the currency of exchange between an author and a reader. I am asking you for time. I am asking you to SPEND TIME ON ME. So, I go through and I pare it down. Carefully and deliberately ask myself, "What Does This Bring To The Story? Is it redundant? Have I already told this to the reader? Does repeating it serve a purpose? If not, how do I cut it? If it is new, then how can I make it serve a second purpose? Is there a way to have this information have a second meaning? A third meaning? Can I combine it with something else? Will It change when the reader knows the ending and will it be BETTER? Is there a better plot point I can use instead? Can I subvert their expectations and give them something BETTER than they expected and if so, how much can I keep hidden from the reader so they truly can't see it coming, yet will think it was obvious in retrospect?"

Smaller. Tighter. More concentrated. BIG is the enemy. Flowery fluffy filler is a sign of weakness. Hit him hard, let the reader breathe, then hit him again, but short rabbit punches.

I know that quality is what matters, but in the back of my head, I have this Big Is Evil, hang-up. 500k Well Written Words is fine. the 500k isn't the problem.

Except it's a problem.

Part of me wonders, like it or not, is it too much? Then I say, "If it's quality, then it doesn't matter. You can have large quantities of quality. It does happen."

Then I say, "No it doesn't. You arrogant FOOL!"

 

[Shady_L]

Why are some of the chapters in CAPSLOCK?

Manipulator Of Space With Mage Leveling System

One day, the sun disappeared from the sky and Earth was filled with darkness. Even though this horrifying event only lasted for a few moments, it changed the history of the world. That day, Earth faced its largest earthquake and countless lives were lost. Mana started to pour into the...

www.scribblehub.com

Only system's notification are in caps-lock and some other information.

 

[Shady_L]

1) The first sentence is what grabs my attention to read the first paragraph.
2) The first paragraph is what sells the first chapter.
3) The first chapter gives me a question that the reader should be curious about and your book should be the only way to answer that question.

1. Planet Earth, Year 2022
Bored now.

2. You don't have paragraphs.

3. Your first chapter presents a simple question: What happened to this guy?
You might want to refine that question. Make it a little more specific and way less generic.

Also, your use of spacing is painful. Here. My First Chapter of HKN

I'm giving this as an example because in many ways, both chapters have the same question presented to the reader. You need to learn how to use negative space. Line breaks are for the reader to pause and consider what you are reading. There is a certain rhythm to it.
Here. Another example.

I have a pattern.

Single Line at start of the chapter to be a zinger.

Then I have a little exposition at the start f most chapters.

A paragraph explaining the setup.
Paragraphs are broken up by topic.
Occasional a one-liner where I hit the reader with a single idea.




I will sometimes put something all by itself after many carriage returns to make it ESPECIALLY stand out.





"When having a conversation I have words inside quotations and get rid of the word 'said' whenever possible." Eldritch had discovered that people are smart enough to figure it out for themselves, "You just need a comma and some quotes to get people to know who is talking. The important part is to start a new chapter whenever the speaking subject changes.

My imagination interrupted, "This would be an example of that." It looked around and wiggled it's tendrils, "Actions can be done by anyone and rolled into the paragraph." Eldritch nodded as my Imagination continued, "As long as who is talking inside the quotes remains the same."

"So Expositions should be all at the start of the chapter, with maybe a small wrap up at the end, but if you get in the habit of having conversations like this, you can group things up in a way that is easier on the reader's eyes. It knows where one speaker ends and another begins. In fact, if you keep up the pattern, you won't even need to point out who is talking, the reader will figure it out by style of speech, or the fact only two people are talking."


Then, finally, I try to have a final zinger line to end the chapter on.






It's cheap psychological manipulation, but it works.

Spoiler: A Random Collection Of My Advice For Writers.

While Reading, Put this on a loop:

Spoiler: SpoilerCeption

How long to write a chapter?

I spend up to twelve hours thinking about a chapter, then slam it out in an hour. There are many steps to writing. Planning is part of writing.

Editing is the part that takes the most time. Learn how to be your own editor.

------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO BE YOUR OWN EDITOR

1. Write the chapter yourself.

2. Run it through a simple spell checker like Word.

3. Go to ChatGPT and type "Rephrase The Following Paragraph" Take one paragraph of at least 3 sentences and save it in a separate file. Feed that paragraph to ChatGPT. Copy the resulting paragraph to a separate file. Make a hybrid paragraph of the best of both.

4. Repeat step 3 until you have done every paragraph.

5. Turn on Grammerly. Just use the spell-checking feature. Screw the suggestions.

6. Go through your chapter to search for the following words:
Suddenly
Very/really
Started
Just
Somewhat/slightly
Somehow
Seem(s)
Definitely
If you see any of these words, reconsider them. Usually, these words are misused. If someone is speaking, no problem, but outside of conversation, they usually are a bad sign.

7. If any sections don't feel right use the following at random:
prowritingaid.com/rephrase
sudowrite.com/app
writesonic.com/
But they do not allow unlimited use, so just use these occasionally to get a different perspective on how you phrased something.

8. Put it through Text Edit and turn on the text-to-speech feature. Listen to the chapter and fix it as it reads it out loud to you.

9. Go through and check for words that you keep using over and over. Using the same word too often will stand out. Try to have at least three different ways of referring to any main character. Avoid using the same word more than one in any given paragraph, or at least no more than once a page (pronouns/conjunctions not included, obviously). The english language is incredibly diverse, so the more you force yourself to get creative using alternatives, the more interesting your work is.

10. Turn on Grammerly one last time for spell-checking.

-----------------

START AT THE END.

You need to know what the ending of a plotline is, At least the final gut punch you plan for the reader to have. You can have an epilogue afterward, but you need that final scene in your head at least. Just writing because "I have a cool idea." Doesn't work. You need to know the ending.

Most books are three acts.

You need a plot that starts then finishes in Act/Act, in order of importance:
1/3
1/1
3/3
2/2
1/2
2/3

What I mean is you introduce a plot in Act 1, then it ends in Act 3, followed by Act 1 ends in Act 1.

The overall plot, that goes from plot 1 to plot 3 is the most important, but 1/1 is the second most important because it KEEPS THE READER READING.

That means, before you start the story, you need to have 6 endings. I don't care how much you write it out, but you need 6 plots and 6 plot endings. ANYTHING ELSE IS BOTH UNNEEDED AND DANGEROUS. You also need to know how the plot STARTS. So you need 6 beginnings and 6 endings. However, if you work those out ahead of time, everything else is just filler to get the story to move from one key scene to the next.

For example:

1/3: Joe is summoned and he had to defeat the demon lord
1/1: Joe is dropped into a strange situation and needs to adjust.
3/3: Joe will have a setback he needs to overcome
2/2: Joe will go on a training montage.
1/2: Joe will encounter the miniboss and have to overcome them.
2/3: Joe will have a romance subplot where he meets a girl and they fall in love by the end.

So three things begin in the first act, 2 start in the second, 1 in the last.
There is one conclusion in the first, 2 in the second, then 3 in the ending
(and if you do it well, it all comes together in one scene.)

It's simple, it's formulaic, IT WORKS.

If you do this, you won't "write in the wrong direction" because you know where the ending is. Once you work out those 6 starts and 6 ends, everything else in the book is just connective tissue.


--------------------


If you are having problems making a character Here's my cheat sheet


Name
Race
Apparent Age
Actual Age
Sex
Gender
Height
Weight
Eye Color
Hair Color
Parents (How many, Sex, general Relations)
Place of birth

Current mental Age group: (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Where PC/NPC spent their (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Note Worthy Events of (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Current Socio-Economic Standing (Poor/Lower Class/Middle Class/Upper Class/SuperRich)

Stats: 1-5
Physical: Strength/Dexterity/Stamina
Social: Charisma/Manipulation/Appearance
Mental: Intelligence/Wisdom/Perception

Morality (scale of 1-5)
Good-Evil (Objective Morality)
Right-Wrong (Subjective Morality)
Legal-Crime (Social Morality)
Positive-Negative (Outcome Morality)

I go with the 1-5 scale with occasionally 0 or 5+

Nobody lives in a vacuum. However, everyone rhymes. get in your head the above groups and some stereotypical traits for each.

A guy whose morality is Objective 1, Subjective 1, Social 5, Outcome 1 is the kind of guy who believes in "Good" Outside himself and seeks to internalize it. he thinks society is corrupt, and willing to commit crimes if the outcome is positive.

ie Batman.

Charisma is personality, Manipulation is how controlling you can be, and appearance is how you look.

So your typical otome Villainess is a Chr 1, Manip 4, App 4.

When you get good at it, you can "shorthand" a character with ease

--------------------------

How to self-motivate:

Tell yourself, "NO ONE LOVES YOU! YOU ARE A WASTE OF SKIN! YOU ARE ONLY WORTH SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING! IF YOU AREN'T DOING SOMETHING, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? EVERY MOMENT YOU WASTE NOT DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, A BABY KITTEN DIES! IF YOU ONLY TRIED HARDER, THERE WOULD BE LESS DEAD LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIFE! EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED THAT DIED IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH!"

Then I get back to writing.

---------------------------

On units of measurement:

If you wanna use metrics in your story, go ahead. It's your story
But I always use "We put a flag on the fuckin' moon" units.

--------------------------

On How Much You Write:

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Something pounded into my head was, "WHAT CAN YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR STORY?"

Every word you include is a fraction of a second to read. Every fraction adds up. Time is the currency of exchange between an author and a reader. I am asking you for time. I am asking you to SPEND TIME ON ME. So, I go through and I pare it down. Carefully and deliberately ask myself, "What Does This Bring To The Story? Is it redundant? Have I already told this to the reader? Does repeating it serve a purpose? If not, how do I cut it? If it is new, then how can I make it serve a second purpose? Is there a way to have this information have a second meaning? A third meaning? Can I combine it with something else? Will It change when the reader knows the ending and will it be BETTER? Is there a better plot point I can use instead? Can I subvert their expectations and give them something BETTER than they expected and if so, how much can I keep hidden from the reader so they truly can't see it coming, yet will think it was obvious in retrospect?"

Smaller. Tighter. More concentrated. BIG is the enemy. Flowery fluffy filler is a sign of weakness. Hit him hard, let the reader breathe, then hit him again, but short rabbit punches.

I know that quality is what matters, but in the back of my head, I have this Big Is Evil, hang-up. 500k Well Written Words is fine. the 500k isn't the problem.

Except it's a problem.

Part of me wonders, like it or not, is it too much? Then I say, "If it's quality, then it doesn't matter. You can have large quantities of quality. It does happen."

Then I say, "No it doesn't. You arrogant FOOL!"

Thanks. Much Apprecated!