Well, I've read all the chapters. I'll just cover your writing style first. Here's what I think you should do:
1. Don't summarize your mc's motivation. For example, try to write directly the scene when his grandpa died instead of leaving a long message that nobody can really remember even the half of it.
2. Describe the environment. Just one simple paragraph will do. Don't just write the place but you must also write any noticeable object that the mc sees.
3. Show, don't tell. This is one is quite advanced but at least you can apply some of the technique. Here's a simple one: avoid word "felt". Try to describe mc's or other characters' feelings with verbs and little adjectives.
4. Chop half any wall of text. Go to chapter 5 and 6, you know what I mean. Just divide them into two or three.
5. Vary your sentences' length. Your sentences are pretty much same in length, making them too monotonous and thus distracting the reading experience.
Grammar is ok and the story isn't bad. Maybe you should work with the mc's personality to be more likeable.
That's all, I guess.
