Posted my first chapter and story. Need some insight and feedback.

[Aushin]

As the title says, here my story:

Midnight Guard: Tales of Loz

[Disclaimer: Will contain a male/male relationship as a subplot.] Something lurks in the city of Loz. When accursed arcane magic suddenly opened a blasphemous and bizarre portal, Alton knew he had to investigate the culprits of this heresy. He must keep order in Loz. Many from within see Alton...

www.scribblehub.com

I wish for some feedback, opinions, and things I could fix.

 

[Deleted member 29081]

Very first impression: stories with colons in the title always scare me off for some reason. That's about all I can offer right now.