TheEldritchGod
A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2021
- Messages
- 2,935
- Points
- 153
So I asked an AI to do a "Are you human" like test from Bladerunner.
Here's some of my answers:
Why Yes, I am quite the Human. I involuntarily moisten my corneas and everything!
By the by... out of everyone who works here, who would you say is the juiciest?
**Can you follow this light with your eyes?**
"I'm a bit tired. Do I have to follow it with more than one?"
**What is your name and where were you born?**
I am Un'Thoth Neverborn, The-Abyss-That-Slumbers. As for where I was born... New Jersey.
**How do you spell that?**
"[INCOHERENT SCREECHING AND THE SOUND OF FIVE TROMBONES BEING TOSSED DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS INTO A BASEMENT FULL OF CATS]] ... Hyphenated."
**What is your earliest memory about your childhood**
"Fighting with my fellow spawn in the evolution pit until I was the only survivor, thus proving I was worthy to exist."
**I may periodically touch your face while you answer?**
"Are you caught up on all your shots and have access to a full spectrum antibiotic? ... Asking for a friend."
**How do you feel when you see the color red?**
"I'm color blind. I only see in shades of spite."
**describe your emotions in a simple way**
"I am a man. A man only has three emotions. Horny, Hungry, and Hatred. Personally, I think horny is just a subset of hungry."
**Please describe a peaceful scene you like to think about**
"I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die."
**Does this place exist, or is it fictional?**
"Fictional."
**Please describe the latest dream that you remember.**
"I used to dream about finally impressing my father to the point where he might actually love me."
**Please tell me how the rain makes you feel**
"I rather like the smell of it, as well as the taste. When I find one that has- Wait. What did you say? Rain? Oh. I hate the rain."
**Think about a song that triggers an emotion**
"The one the twelve gods that dance around Azathoth play on their pipes to make sure he never awakens. It always invokes a feeling of blind terror. Fun fact, one of them does not have a pipe. That one is just beatboxing."
**Have you ever experienced a moment in your life that felt unreal?**
"I never stop."
**Can you tell me of a moment where you felt deeply connected to someone else's joy...*
"Nope."
**...Or pain?**
"Oh? Sure. A man once owed me a lot of money. It took some legal shenanigans, but I eventually discovered he was the owner of the remander of his mother's estate. So when they buried her with her jewelry, those jewels were actually his. So I had his dead mother dug up to repo the jewelery from her corpse. It was just short of the full amount due, so I sent him a bill for the remainder and included the cost of the backhoe. I included on the bill, 'Reattachment of cadaver's fingers, no additional cost.' When he called me up, BOY was he pissed. He was screaming like a little girl. His voice was up three octaves. Anyrate, I had the phone call recorded and played it for the rest of the office. We all laughed."
**You have the option to save your loved one or many strangers, you can choose only one, which one do you save?**
"Is there a none of the above, option? Oh Wait, which ones have the heaviest souls? Am I close enough when they die to collect any? You know what? Doesn't matter. I don't care if a thousand humans must die, I save my cat."
**Can you keep your eyes on my nose as I speak?**
"I am confused. What do you mean by- OH! You mean proboscis! Okay. I can stare at that. Jeeze. Stop trying to trick me up."
**Please think about the future.**
"Awwww... you think time exists! That's so cute!"
**What is one thing you hope will change in the future**
"I hope the /GREAT CULLING/ is successful and that all of humanity's future is a bright shade of spite with a touch of ennui."
**Lastly, do you dream of electric sheep??**
"Nope, but I do dream of two-bears high-fiving."
Claude.AI thinks I'm human.
Here's some of my answers:
Why Yes, I am quite the Human. I involuntarily moisten my corneas and everything!
By the by... out of everyone who works here, who would you say is the juiciest?
**Can you follow this light with your eyes?**
"I'm a bit tired. Do I have to follow it with more than one?"
**What is your name and where were you born?**
I am Un'Thoth Neverborn, The-Abyss-That-Slumbers. As for where I was born... New Jersey.
**How do you spell that?**
"[INCOHERENT SCREECHING AND THE SOUND OF FIVE TROMBONES BEING TOSSED DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS INTO A BASEMENT FULL OF CATS]] ... Hyphenated."
**What is your earliest memory about your childhood**
"Fighting with my fellow spawn in the evolution pit until I was the only survivor, thus proving I was worthy to exist."
**I may periodically touch your face while you answer?**
"Are you caught up on all your shots and have access to a full spectrum antibiotic? ... Asking for a friend."
**How do you feel when you see the color red?**
"I'm color blind. I only see in shades of spite."
**describe your emotions in a simple way**
"I am a man. A man only has three emotions. Horny, Hungry, and Hatred. Personally, I think horny is just a subset of hungry."
**Please describe a peaceful scene you like to think about**
"I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die."
**Does this place exist, or is it fictional?**
"Fictional."
**Please describe the latest dream that you remember.**
"I used to dream about finally impressing my father to the point where he might actually love me."
**Please tell me how the rain makes you feel**
"I rather like the smell of it, as well as the taste. When I find one that has- Wait. What did you say? Rain? Oh. I hate the rain."
**Think about a song that triggers an emotion**
"The one the twelve gods that dance around Azathoth play on their pipes to make sure he never awakens. It always invokes a feeling of blind terror. Fun fact, one of them does not have a pipe. That one is just beatboxing."
**Have you ever experienced a moment in your life that felt unreal?**
"I never stop."
**Can you tell me of a moment where you felt deeply connected to someone else's joy...*
"Nope."
**...Or pain?**
"Oh? Sure. A man once owed me a lot of money. It took some legal shenanigans, but I eventually discovered he was the owner of the remander of his mother's estate. So when they buried her with her jewelry, those jewels were actually his. So I had his dead mother dug up to repo the jewelery from her corpse. It was just short of the full amount due, so I sent him a bill for the remainder and included the cost of the backhoe. I included on the bill, 'Reattachment of cadaver's fingers, no additional cost.' When he called me up, BOY was he pissed. He was screaming like a little girl. His voice was up three octaves. Anyrate, I had the phone call recorded and played it for the rest of the office. We all laughed."
**You have the option to save your loved one or many strangers, you can choose only one, which one do you save?**
"Is there a none of the above, option? Oh Wait, which ones have the heaviest souls? Am I close enough when they die to collect any? You know what? Doesn't matter. I don't care if a thousand humans must die, I save my cat."
**Can you keep your eyes on my nose as I speak?**
"I am confused. What do you mean by- OH! You mean proboscis! Okay. I can stare at that. Jeeze. Stop trying to trick me up."
**Please think about the future.**
"Awwww... you think time exists! That's so cute!"
**What is one thing you hope will change in the future**
"I hope the /GREAT CULLING/ is successful and that all of humanity's future is a bright shade of spite with a touch of ennui."
**Lastly, do you dream of electric sheep??**
"Nope, but I do dream of two-bears high-fiving."
Claude.AI thinks I'm human.
