Thoughts on my description for a LitRPG-esque story

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

So before anyone redirects me, may the synopsis thread rest in peace, it had a good run. So unfortunately, I'd have to post my synopsis here instead of there. As much as I want to revive it, I'm not confident in my ability to rate other's works.

Anyways: Here's the actual description. I'll place what the premise at the end of it so ya'll can rate it better.

After an incident which led to him accidentally taking the life of his girlfriend, a Chinese transfer student finds himself thrown off a bridge by an irrational assailant.

Now, he awakens in a rather peculiar environment with two thoughts embedded deep into his consciousness. One, he had died, and was given a second chance within another world by an unknown force. Two, somewhere on the planet, his girlfriend lives on.

What’s more, after dying to a wild animal, he finds himself alive once more, within a new body completely different from his old one. He had the power to [Respawn] upon death.

Armed with a sick mindset of repentance, he found a singular purpose for this new life of his: to ensure his sweetheart lives a happy and carefree life, at all costs. Even if he must try again, and again, and again.


Premise: Basically, you know how some LitRPG MCs seem to have an overpowered protagonist who steamrolls through practically everything and outsmarts kings who are supposedly rulers of great kingdoms as a teenager thanks to some sort of plot armor? I turned that into a person, who may or may not be a yandere. The vagueness of the "new world" is absolutely intentional btw.

 

[SailusGebel]

Sounds like a slightly altered Re:Zero.

 

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

Sounds like a slightly altered Re:Zero.

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Well, the main character doesn't really care about saving or pleasing anyone else except his girlfriend(wait isn't that just Pride IF?} Also he doesn't really travel back in time, he just gets a new body and continues on. The main difference is that the MC wasn't a NEET and is actually a socially competent person, and uhh, lots and lots of identity theft. Funny enough, I barely even thought of Re:Zero up to the part where i typed out respawn.

 

[SailusGebel]

gets a new body and continues on.

Oooh, I misunderstood this part. You mean, something like, after dying in the body of 30 years old buff man, he gets a body of a 17 years old teenager?

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Well, the main character doesn't really care about saving or pleasing anyone else except his girlfriend(wait isn't that just Pride IF?} Also he doesn't really travel back in time, he just gets a new body and continues on. The main difference is that the MC wasn't a NEET and is actually a socially competent person, and uhh, lots and lots of identity theft. Funny enough, I barely even thought of Re:Zero up to the part where i typed out respawn.

I mean, NEET isn't even the main factor. MC, who gets infinitely reincarnated, does everything for his loved one. To me, it's Re:Zero. But now that I know he doesn't travel in time but gets a new body, uhh, okay. It's not like Re:Zero. But then why did you use this: "Armed with a sick mindset of repentance?" Like, you wrote this because he repeatedly dies? Maybe it's me, but it's confusing.

 

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

: "Armed with a sick mindset of repentance?" Like, you wrote this because he repeatedly dies? Maybe it's me, but it's confusing.

Perhaps I was not clear with this, but he wants to repent because while it was an accident, he still killed his girlfriend. He thinks that he should pay for his sins by ensuring she lives a happy life, if you have a better way to word this please do tell me. What's sick about it is he is willing to do whatever crime is necessary to achieve that hence "whatever the cost.

Oooh, I misunderstood this part. You mean, something like, after dying in the body of 30 years old buff man, he gets a body of a 17 years old teenager?

Bit of an RNG, but it's around late teens-young adult for his bodies, can be male or female(might put that in for scribblehub clout). In his original life, he was a teenager, but his level of intelligence is decently high due to being raised by a businessman in China. It's at least high enough to fool a small town that he's a doctor despite having only basic medicinal knowledge.

I mean, NEET isn't even the main factor. MC, who gets infinitely reincarnated, does everything for his loved one. To me, it's Re:Zero.

I mean, infinite reincarnation isn't exclusive to re:zero, I remember that one story with the skeleton has it, probs a lot more. Imo Subaru does love Emilia but he still cares about Rem, Betty, etc. and probs has a chance to get attached to a lot more people(I've only watched the anime). So its not really an obsession

 

[SailusGebel]

Perhaps I was not clear with this, but he wants to repent because while it was an accident, he still killed his girlfriend. He thinks that he should pay for his sins by ensuring she lives a happy life, if you have a better way to word this please do tell me. What's sick about it is he is willing to do whatever crime is necessary to achieve that hence "whatever the cost.

Oh, wait, it's me once again. I'm groggy as hell right now, and my mind doesn't work well. I mixed up words. It wasn't confusing, sorry.

Bit of an RNG, but it's around late teens-young adult for his bodies, can be male or female(might put that in for scribblehub clout). In his original life, he was a teenager, but his level of intelligence is decently high due to being raised by a businessman in China. It's at least high enough to fool a small town that he's a doctor despite having only basic medicinal knowledge.

Yes, what I wrote was a simple example, and you reaffirmed it. Interesting concept, not my cup of tea, though.