Lloyd Reviews

[Lloyd]

I am once again for the first time offering free reviews of your novels. All I ask in return is that your writing isn't complete garbage or smut. I prefer to read fantasy or sci-fi, and if you give me anything else I'll probably forget about and not read it.

I will be reviewing your novel in three(3) distinct categories:
1. Technical Proficiency - Basically this is grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure.
2. Story Content - Is your story interesting and are things actually going on?
3. X factor - Every story needs it, but few have it. The X factor is whatever I want it to be. Don't ask questions. But if I had to describe it, it would be like a hook to grab your reader's attention.

Just put a link to your novel below and I'll either get around to reviewing it eventually or tell you I ain't reading that shit.

 

[SailusGebel]

No.

 

[Lloyd]

No.

Okay then.

 

[MasFaqih]

If you would be so kind. I am sorry if you doesn't like it.

 

[2wordsperminute]

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/857279/end-of-the-road/
I am more than open to let you roast my story however you see fit.

 

[Lloyd]

If you would be so kind. I am sorry if you doesn't like it.

1. Technical Proficiency is definitely your weakest area. I'd assume you aren't a native English speaker from all the basic mistakes. Definitely run your stuff through grammarly or another app before you post it.
2. The story content is okay. It's a classic isekai start that gets straight to the point, but it's also cultivation which I don't really know anything about. It seems kind of basic and there is nothing wrong with that, but it's not really bringing anything new to the table. Originality is kind of a false God in writing imo though, and it's not a huge deal if you don't have it. Personally I don't read cultivation or gender bender, but it is good for the scribble hub audience.
3. I guess the gender bender stuff is your X factor because you've got pretty good readership. Not my thing, but keep posting and your novel will do well on SH.

technical
Story
X factor
Overall

 

[MasFaqih]

1. Technical Proficiency is definitely your weakest area. I'd assume you aren't a native English speaker from all the basic mistakes. Definitely run your stuff through grammarly or another app before you post it.
2. The story content is okay. It's a classic isekai start that gets straight to the point, but it's also cultivation which I don't really know anything about. It seems kind of basic and there is nothing wrong with that, but it's not really bringing anything new to the table. Originality is kind of a false God in writing imo though, and it's not a huge deal if you don't have it. Personally I don't read cultivation or gender bender, but it is good for the scribble hub audience.
3. I guess the gender bender stuff is your X factor because you've got pretty good readership. Not my thing, but keep posting and your novel will do well on SH.

technical
Story
X factor
Overall

Emmm, thank you for your review, about technical thing, actually I have been using gramarly since chapter 1,i know my choice of word isn't the best, I hope you can tell me what should I fix, like point it out, I reality want to improve.

 

[Lloyd]

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/857279/end-of-the-road/
I am more than open to let you roast my story however you see fit.

Okay starting a novel off like this is absolutely unacceptable.

I've lived in this town my whole life. I've known a few people who left, but no one has ever returned.

Two sentences starting with "I've" right at the start. Are you fucking kidding me? This is basic shit. Don't repeat words in the next sentence it looks retarded.

I'll get around to the real review later but that is my roast.

Emmm, thank you for your review, about technical thing, actually I have been using gramarly since chapter 1,i know my choice of word isn't the best, I hope you can tell me what should I fix, like point it out, I reality want to improve.

No offense but the amount of stuff in chapter one that is messed up would take a long time to go through. Like just the first paragraph:

Did you ever feel like Regretting something, but you can't get back in time to fulfill that regret?, Well, This is my situation right now.

This is classic broken English and is wrong on multiple levels. It should be something like this:
Have you ever felt regret, but you can't go back in time to assuage that regret? Well, that's my situation right now.

 

[MasFaqih]

Wow

Okay starting a novel off like this is absolutely unacceptable.

Two sentences starting with "I've" right at the start. Are you fucking kidding me? This is basic shit. Don't repeat words in the next sentence it looks retarded.

I'll get around to the real review later but that is my roast.

No offense but the amount of stuff in chapter one that is messed up would take a long time to go through. Like just the first paragraph:

This is classic broken English and is wrong on multiple levels. It should be something like this:
Have you ever felt regret, but you can't go back in time to assuage that regret? Well, that's my situation right now.

Thank you for your suggestions, I will use that sentence if it's all right with you.

 

[Lloyd]

Wow

Thank you for your suggestions, I will use that sentence if it's all right with you.

There is also a tense issue I forgot to fix. It should be "couldn't go back in time", instead of "can't go back in time."

 

[Glitched]

I don't normally do there, but check out my signature if you'd like.

 

[MasFaqih]

There is also a tense issue I forgot to fix. It should be "couldn't go back in time", instead of "can't go back in time."

Thank I will also study regarding past, present, tense in English

 

[melchi]

Lloyd review best review.

 

[SailusGebel]

Lloyd review best review.

 

[Nevafrost]

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1052102/the-truth-is-mysterious/

i will just drop mine. Thanks.

 

[Lloyd]

Thank I will also study regarding past, present, tense in English

I noticed your second chapter looks a lot better as far as technical mistakes go. You improve the more you read and write.

 

[AdOtherwise]

Lowly Ascent

Within a desolate realm, where discarded worlds were stitched together, a rupture tore open, releasing a small child into this fragmented expanse. Above him, the sky revealed three eerie moons, while an ominous black mass loomed ominously in their wake. Disoriented and engulfed by a putrid...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Seaspecter]

All I ask in return is that your writing isn't complete garbage

That leaves me out.

 

[harrydouthwaite]

Here is my little tale. I have polished it up recently and it don't think there are any errors left to fix. It isn't sci-fi or fantasy, but it certainly isn't smut so hopefully that's enough.

Feelings and Fondness

In the mid-2000s, eleven-year-old Robin Brush lives in the commuter belt village of Stanstead Abbotts in Hertfordshire, England. He suffers constantly from being bullied, ridiculed, or misunderstood by almost everyone. Forced to live an isolated life as an outcast, he doesn't even have any...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[namangoel]

I hope you like it

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/932868/shadow-world-i-realm-of-magic/