[Survey] Is this lore disturbing to you?

[MatchaChocolate69]

I added extra info regarding the relationship between the kid with the noble. What happened that night because many still held on to false hope. Lastly, what happened to the father after.

That's really bad.
Firstly, obviously because of the age, secondly because this fact has been forgotten and therefore cannot be a way to develop the character, and thirdly because the monster faces no repercussions.
It's a lore that has no justifiable reason to exist other than to satisfy a sick fantasy.

 

[prognastat]

I mean I don't really get disturbed easily. However looking at this from a story perspective it's more about what it is used for. Effectively "father figure" is pretty much irredeemable. Is the story going to excuse or ignore this or is it about the boy overcoming this or getting revenge or both. The former is going to leave many people reading the story unhappy. The latter can be cathertic.

Worst you could do is write a redemption arc for the abuser.

 

[SailusGebel]

Still 0.

 

[Anon2024]

To me it’s the fact it’s a “kid” and not an adult that’s disturbing.

 

[Voidiris]

Still not disturbing.

 

[SsemouyOnan]

It takes build-up to make something seem disturbing to me, and while that can be done within a paragraph or two, this really didn't do it. Which may speak more about me, considering how often I've read books that don't treat children kindly

 

[RepresentingEnvy]

I voted 10, but it's not disturbing. It's more disgusting and reprehensible.

 

[georgelee5786]

7

 

[CheertheSecond]

That's really bad.
Firstly, obviously because of the age, secondly because this fact has been forgotten and therefore cannot be a way to develop the character, and thirdly because the monster faces no repercussions.
It's a lore that has no justifiable reason to exist other than to satisfy a sick fantasy.

The justification for this lore is to explain why a kid from nowhere with no blood relation to a noble got to become an illegitimate heir, why he was given a share of the inheritance despite being no where near as competent as other heirs, why he got no memory of his past, why his supposed "family" did not love him (for the father was playing raising son and grooming bride in the background).

 

[MatchaChocolate69]

The justification for this lore is to explain why a kid from nowhere with no blood relation to a noble got to become an illegitimate heir, why he was given a share of the inherence despite being no where near as competent as other heirs, why he got no memory of his past, why his supposed "family" did not love him (for the father were playing raising son and grooming bride in the background).

This makes sense, you should have put it in the initial post.

 

[LilRora]

Honestly, I don't think this is disturbing, for the rigid definition of that word. I'd say it would be reprehensible, though that's very subjective and would depend on the exact nature of their relationship as well as their age, which you didn't specify. Hard to justify any rating lower than 6 though.

It's definitely not something I would want to read, at least not in a story that wouldn't make me expect things like that.

 

[CheertheSecond]

Honestly, I don't think this is disturbing, for the rigid definition of that word. I'd say it would be reprehensible, though that's very subjective and would depend on the exact nature of their relationship as well as their age, which you didn't specify. Hard to justify any rating lower than 6 though.

It's definitely not something I would want to read, at least not in a story that wouldn't make me expect things like that.

Assume the kid was 6 then.

 

[LilRora]

Assume the kid was 6 then.

Then bad. +1 rating at the very least.

Conclusion doesn't change. I think this is a bit too convoluted and definitely too reprehensible, maybe disgusting to some people to use it in a story, unless it's one that specifically contains such content - otherwise it will deter a huge amount of people who came in not expecting anything taken this far.

 

[Shrimp_eater]

This kind of disturbingness is more about expectations than the actual content. If this was meant to be a dark story in the first place, i think its fine. Otherwise you risk alienating your readers.

That said, i don't think the part about the boy forgetting everything and living like normal is a good plot point. While its true victims of traumatic events like that may block the memories, those memories usually get reawakened by certain triggers. I don't think he'd be able to live alongside his step-father like nothing ever occurred, unless he made a conscious decision to ignore that ever happened out of fear or maybe because he was desperate not to lose a father figure and a good owner.

For a less "disturbing" alternative in case you need one, or at least something that might make the step-father slightly more sympathetic, you could change the trauma of being raped by him to instead having watched his entire family get killed (its still "disturbing" but we all know readers are far more ok with gore and murder than rape) which eventually led him to be captured and sold as a slave. While leading a good life with this new owner he blocks off the trauma from his mind, until at some point in it gets reawakened for some reason. He decides to investigate what happened and eventually finds out it was his father figure (through his hand or through his orders) that killed his family in the first place. Then, filled with guilt, at some point after the deed, he searches for the boy, buys him and raises as his own as a form to appease his guilt and gain some redemption. Naturally add some possible adjustments to fit your story better.

 

[CheertheSecond]

This kind of disturbingness is more about expectations than the actual content. If this was meant to be a dark story in the first place, i think its fine. Otherwise you risk alienating your readers.

That said, i don't think the part about the boy forgetting everything and living like normal is a good plot point. While its true victims of traumatic events like that may block the memories, those memories usually get reawakened by certain triggers. I don't think he'd be able to live alongside his step-father like nothing ever occurred, unless he made a conscious decision to ignore that ever happened out of fear or maybe because he was desperate not to lose a father figure and a good owner.

For a less "disturbing" alternative in case you need one, or at least something that might make the step-father slightly more sympathetic, you could change the trauma of being raped by him to instead having watched his entire family get killed (its still "disturbing" but we all know readers are far more ok with gore and murder than rape) which eventually led him to be captured and sold as a slave. While leading a good life with this new owner he blocks off the trauma from his mind, until at some point in it gets reawakened for some reason. He decides to investigate what happened and eventually finds out it was his father figure (through his hand or through his orders) that killed his family in the first place. Then, filled with guilt, at some point after the deed, he searches for the boy, buys him and raises as his own as a form to appease his guilt and gain some redemption. Naturally add some possible adjustments to fit your story better.

The less disturbing option involves far more work. To make the death of a family something matters to the readers and the kid, I need to describe how the kid got such close relationship and lived happily with his family. This is used almost everywhere and I have no confidence that I can do a distinctive enough job to make readers care when there are countless stories using the same trope. A story about betrayal of trust and expectation is a far simpler choice without involving any extra characters like the kid's original family.

And yes, the premise of this story is the dark, damn and degenerate future so it is the main reason people should consider before getting into the story.

And no, the kid will remember but that would be after the noble had died. It would then be when some of the major things happen. This lore is just background lore to explain the situation of the kid.

 

[LuoirM]

Assume the kid was 6 then.

damn.

 

[Shrimp_eater]

The less disturbing option involves far more work. To make the death of a family something matters to the readers and the kid, I need to describe how the kid got such close relationship and lived happily with his family. This is used almost everywhere and I have no confidence that I can do a distinctive enough job to make readers care when there are countless stories using the same trope. A story about betrayal of trust and expectation is a far simpler choice without involving any extra characters like the kid's original family.

And yes, the premise of this story is the dark, damn and degenerate future so it is the main reason people should consider before getting into the story.

And no, the kid will remember but that would be after the noble had died. It would then be when some of the major things happen. This lore is just background lore to explain the situation of the kid.

If its meant to be dark i think its fine. Still, i should point out that the idea of a kid who passed through such a traumatic event to the point of blocking off his memories, but still managed to live alongside the same perpetrator, under the same roof of where it happened, for years without nothing ever triggering his blocked memories, doesn't sound very believable.

Well, another alternative would be for the father to use magic or alchemy or something to purposefully block his memories, assuming there's magic in the story that is. Good ol' magic solves any possible inconsistencies. As a bonus it would make the step-father even more of a horrible person.

 

[TsumiHokiro]

I don't know when this story is about, but you're talking about nobles with two wives. You also say it's a political marriage, and therefore nothing could have made me less disturbed. If you had talked about nowadays politician I might have been disturbed, but I guess people cannot understand the historical context. Even then I might not have been disturbed, rather, repulsed. Disturbing is a very specific mindset, and this situation is not something that would surprise me so much that it would have made me feel I had lost my moral bearings. Others lost theirs, not I. But if you're talking about something that was considered normal, then that which this child has gone through is also unusual. For a noble with two wives, the child would also not be so lost as to go through such a shock... society would work so very different indeed. Your scenario is not that well thought in this chick's opinion.

 

[MintiLime]

The only reason I’m not disturbed is because I’m bored.

Old man grooms child is reprehensible and disgusting but that delivery seems almost apologetic of the old creep’s behavior. The child should be the one struggling to adapt and overcome the trauma, not the old man umm deciding to have no human decency and ‘struggling.’ Gives Lolita vibes.

Overall, I get the sense of the standard “I want characters to have trauma but not actually ever address the realistic impact of said trauma” trauma kit.

Maybe it would be better in the story, but if I saw this as a summary I would DNR.

a good example of SA explored through fantasy is Deerskin by Robin McKinley

 

[Werelure]

I judge you and find you lacking in both convolution and degeneracy.
That boy should be actual illegitimate son of "father" noble, thus explaining why the hell he would know or care what happens to some random slave boy. And mother of the boy should be a former fiance of "owner" noble, made into slave for bearing a child of unknown origin.