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I've been doing this for over half a decade now.

i still don't think I'm ready for that happening, even until today.

As crazy as it sounds, I do the same. But mostly for my mother. I wait every day/night to see if my dad calls me, telling me they fought and triggered my mom to collapse. Hasn't happened yet. But, hey, I never know when it will. I think it will numb me, but you are right. We won't be prepared for that moment. No matter how much we expect it.

Stay strong, and know that we all aren't here to last forever. Sadly, enjoy the moments you have with them. Even as chaotic and annoying as they may be. Sometimes those end up being fond memories.