The phrase "you can do it" is a lie. You can't do it. You must do it. You have to do it. It's no "can" or "can't". You either do it or you don't. There's no "maybe". So here's the gun and the ski mask-
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i once got so mad at a friend that while he was recommending Grand Escape to me i skipped it mid-chorus claiming it was "nothing special" and till today i still can't atone my war crime
my mood today is saltwater
I fucking hate boys wearing dresses. Like what the fuck could they be hiding under them. If you're truly brave then wear a fucking skirt, don't hide your knees. I boast my thigh high frills like the tutu motherfucker I'm born to be. Don't fucking hide your weapons. Show yourselves you coward.
sometimes i look for pictures half eaten yogurt granola bars in google
fuck it *evolves into this*
I just noticed you are member #12345.
How many Mongolian children from your basement did you sacrifice for that?
nothing makes me angrier than a funny meme sullied with an ifunny tag, like meeting a hot nun. she's hot but she's hotter for god
Dividing 10 by 3 be like:
I find people who masturbate without any stimuli (e.g. just lying on bed closed eyes grabbing their whateves) to be the scariest people of them all. They could just go erect by simply imagining an ethereal entity and elevate their body to pleasure just like that.
Next thing you know they can levitate furniture with their magnum dong idk scares me man
not to brag but i got commissioned actual cash b4 to write some gayfic i declined at first like the professional i am but then he offered me a subway gift card and suffice to say it was a good sandwich. not worth it but a good sandwich nonetheless
Fortuna Bliss Academia Monstruganus Almecha Pioustè
I'm bout'a get giant roasts for putting the word out but bear with me here.
I'm not taking a moral standing here. In fact, moral is out of the question here. I'm talking about the HK protests here.
I won't go in deep history about the protest; I'm sure all of you are very well-aware of the situation.
friend: hey do you know that there's not many negative reviews for parachutes online
Yeah, like, those who get bad parachutes don't get to review...
Hot Take: Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order is actually good go play it
consume my posterior
True Story
So last night I had a DnD session with a couple of friends. This time, there was a greenhorn in the scene. As I was walking him into creating his reptilian druid, we got into rolling his stats. Halfway through the thing, he suddenly stopped, thought for a second, looked up to me and with the most serious look on his face, asked, "What's intelligence?"
He was not a bright one.
i miss my inner Steve Buscemi
the human heart is like an onion, except it only has one layer, isn't a vegetable and does NOT go well with eggs
life hack: keep your dog groomed and well-fed just in case you need a healthy snack -
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